New Directions
by Sharpie-Pens
Summary: Life with Derek characters in a Gleeful world. Rasey, Dasey, Shemily. Multichapter. Written by InvalidMinds and bsloths.
1. Pilot

**Disclaimer: Jo and Brandi do not own _Glee_, _Life with Derek_, or anything else we borrow for the purposes of this story.**

It was another typical morning at William McKinley High School in London, Ohio.

The Cheerios, McKinley's junior cheerleading team, was practicing on the football field.

As Paul Greeby drove by in his beat-up blue Honda, he heard the Cheerios coach snarl into his bullhorn, "You think this is hard? Try being waterboarded, _that's_ hard!"

He shook his head good-naturedly. He had been at that school for far too long for anything to rile him up that early in the morning. In fact, he had even been a student there himself, once upon a time. Now he was grown up, married, and genuinely enjoyed his job as the guidance counselor/computer teacher. (McKinley's got a tight budget.)

The car lurched to a stop, and Paul spied some jocks chatting with Sheldon Shlepper. He found it odd, because, well, Sheldon was a _Shlepper_. Paul had graduated with Sheldon's uncle, who had been just as dorky and nerdy, and all the other put-downs you could think of for a kid in high school. Paul sighed. He'd have to go over and make sure Sheldon wasn't about to get pantsed, or beaten up, or thrown in the nearby dumpster.

Paul sauntered over, putting on his "buddy" face instead of his "teacher" one. "Making some new friends, Sheldon?" he asked the terrified boy with a reassuring smile.

"He sure is, Paul," Derek Venturi, king of the tenth grade, replied for him with a smirk. Paul did not trust that kid's smirk one bit. He had started calling Mr. Greeby "Paul" after his first round of principal-ordered counseling last semester. Truth be told, Paul didn't mind it. But since Derek had started calling him by his first name, the practice had caught on across the school, and Paul's surname was eventually dropped by the entire student body altogether.

Paul gave him a warning look, one that Derek deflected with ease. Paul wasn't going to be able to help Sheldon now. He could only hope that Derek and his cronies had a relatively harmless plan in mind. What was he supposed to do, stand there and babysit Sheldon until the bell rang? Paul knew Derek would never _actually_ hurt anyone. It was one of the many things he had learned about him in the four counseling sessions he had attended. Derek was actually a softie underneath his tough hockey-god exterior. But Paul knew it was wise to keep that information to himself. High school was all about social status, and far be it from Paul to keep a genuinely good-hearted kid from his crown. He did like to keep an extra eye on him sometimes, though, make sure he was going down the right path. His parents had divorced a few years ago, and Derek lived with his father and two younger siblings. They hadn't talked much about his mother or the split in their sessions, but Paul knew there were some unresolved feelings there.

Since Derek had barely flinched at Paul's attempt at menace, he turned to dim-but-sweet Stavros "Ralph" Papadopoulos, Derek's best friend. "Hey Ralph," Paul grinned, "you still owe me that report on HTML, remember?"

Ralph looked puzzled. "Uh…Almost halfway done with almost all of it, Paul," he stuttered, while Derek rolled his eyes. Paul felt bad for Ralph sometimes, but he knew he wasn't as dumb as he appeared. He just took a little more time learning some things than others did. Paul tried his best to help him keep up in his computer class, but Ralph really didn't belong there. He was taking it to make his grandmother happy. That boy loved his grandmother, which was one of the qualities Paul admired most about him.

Paul decided to leave them alone. It was almost time for the first bell; Sheldon would probably be safe. He waved at the group with an extra glance in Derek's direction. Paul had a busy day ahead of him, and he hoped Mr. Venturi could stay out of trouble, and out of his guidance office chair, long enough for him to get some work done.

~L~

As soon as Paul was out of sight, Derek lunged at Sheldon. "It's Hammer Time," he crowed as he and a few of his friends lifted the squirming Shlepper off the ground and towards the nearby dumpster.

"Please! My gram knitted me this sweater!" Sheldon pleaded.

Derek and Ralph exchanged a look. Derek knew Sheldon had picked the right thing to say in front of Ralph. Sure enough, Ralph held up a hand for the guys to put Sheldon down. "Wait."

Derek sighed in exasperation. "Off," he barked at Sheldon.

Sheldon fumbled the sweater over his head and handed it to Ralph. "Nice! She crochets, huh?" Ralph said excitedly, examining the fabric.

Sheldon nodded. "She's making me an afghan next. She finished ten granny squares last night," he said proudly.

Ralph beamed. "Pretty good."

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Derek groaned. He threw up his hands and began walking away. Would he really have thrown Shlepper in the dumpster? Maybe, maybe not. But to not do it over _granny squares_? He felt like gagging. His best friend was so weird sometimes.

He could tell one of his buddies was about to call him out on walking away. "Don't even say it," he interrupted harshly, and everyone held their tongues.

It was nice being king.

~L~

Paul had entered the school by this point. He stared at the trophy case as the bell rang, searching for the trophy that always made him nostalgic. There it was, an imitation-silver monstrosity, gleaming with the words,

1993 Show Choir Championships

William McKinley High School

First Place

He smiled fondly at the picture that hung next to it, of his old choir teacher. The quote on the plaque beneath her photo read, "By its very definition, glee is about opening yourself up to joy." Mrs. Adler had died about ten years ago, after he graduated and before he began teaching. She had been an inspiration. Ever since he had been hired at McKinley, Paul had wanted to start up glee club again, relive his glory days as a teacher rather than as a participant. But the school just didn't have the resources anymore. He had two jobs as it was! Besides, show choir had fallen out of fashion. He would have to teach at a fancy prep school or something just to get enough singers to qualify. McKinley students weren't exactly known for their theatricality. The last drama club production had been a pitiful version of _Fiddler on the Roof_, in which the lead could not pronounce "l'chaim" to save his life.

Ms. Zeldin, the drama club advisor, was in her office when Paul knocked on the door during lunch. "Hey Kathy," he called brightly, though his insides were churning up his turkey club in a very unpleasant way.

"Come on in, Paul. I'm just going over ideas for the fall musical." She gave him a pained smile.

Paul tried to hide his wince. "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I have an idea."

"Do tell!" Kathy rubbed her hands together conspiratorially.

"You graduated what, three years ahead of me? Remember how great glee club was in the nineties? It could be that way again," he began, but Kathy was already waving her hands in his face.

"Paul. I'm having enough trouble with the musicals! You really think we can find twelve good singers in this school, besides the one or two that already star in all of my productions?" She paused. "What kind of an educator am I? That sounds terrible, doesn't it?" She smiled ruefully at Paul.

"That's okay, Kath. Listen, I thought we could forego the musical this year and co-chair glee club. I don't know if we can find singers and dancers, but I'd really like to try."

Kathy knitted her eyebrows. "I don't know. I'm not sure I want to commit to such a…well, commitment. We'd be starting from scratch, Paul."

"That's what's so exciting about it! There might be all kinds of untapped talent here." Paul had become so attached to the idea in the last few hours since he'd thought of it that despite his initial anxiety, Kathy's reluctance barely fazed him now. He beamed at her.

"We-ell…"

"Come on, Kath!"

"I agree it would be fun to see what this generation can do with show choir. But honestly, glee club always meant more to you than it did to me. This is your baby. You should chair it."

Paul's face fell. "Alone?"

Kathy laughed. "Yes, alone. You're fully capable of teaching twelve kids to sing and dance. I could use a break from the after-school activities, to be honest. If glee doesn't work out, I'll do a fall musical. But the idea of leaving this place before six o'clock every night is pretty appealing."

Paul sighed. If he wanted this, he was going to have to do it himself. "If you're sure."

"I am," Kathy nodded. "But feel free to come to me if you need advice or whatever. I'm willing to bet you're a little rusty." She winked.

"Hey, I can still bust a move," Paul said, doing a little wiggle of the hips that make Kathy guffaw into her palm.

Paul waved goodbye and headed for the main office.

~L~

As soon as he got a hold of him, Paul announced to Principal Lassiter, "I'd like to start a glee club."

"You want to captain the Titanic, too?" Lassiter snarked.

Paul ignored his attempt at humor. "I think I can make it great again, like it was back in the nineties." In searching for an argument, his mind had flashed to Derek. Kids like him needed extracurriculars to keep them from terrorizing the Shleppers of the world. And kids like Sheldon needed a way to make themselves feel special. Glee club would be the perfect antidote to the high school blues. He doubted either Venturi or Shlepper would join, but at least the option would be available to them. That's how he rationalized all this in his head, anyway. As far as Lassiter needed to know, it had nothing to do with recapturing his own glee in life.

"There is no joy in these kids. They feel invisible," he continued, undeterred by Lassiter's disapproving frown. "That's why every one of them has a MySpace page." _Come on, Lassiter_, he silently begged.

Lassiter did some quick calculations on his adding machine. "Sixty bucks a month. That's what I'd need to keep this program up." His expression was unreadable.

Paul gulped. "And…you would expect me to pay it?"

Lassiter rubbed his forehead. "Well, I'm certainly not going to pay for it. Look, our cheerleading team was on ESPN last year. When glee club gets that kind of 'street cred'," he grimaced at the colloquialism, "the school board will be throwing money at you. Until then, sixty bucks a month, and you can use the props and costumes we have in storage."

Paul nodded. "Fair enough. Thank you, sir." He fled from the office, already formulating plans in his head. He hadn't expected this to be easy, and it would take a nasty little chunk out of his paycheck, but overall it was smooth sailing so far. He had even thought of a name: New Directions. Now he just needed members.

~L~

Emily Davis approached the New Directions sign-up sheet with trepidation. She had always been told she had a good voice, but she'd never sung in public. She needed this. Her unending quest to be popular had stalled when Derek Venturi, the boy she had been crushing on _forever_, rejected her invitation to the freshman formal last year. Now, she was looking for a new way to get into the in-crowd. She figured show choir was kind of dorky, but it was something new and different, and people liked Paul. She thought maybe a few of his students would sign up, and if they happened to be popular, great. If not, she would find another way. It didn't hurt to try.

"R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me," Emily sang, clear and strong. Her voice echoed around the auditorium and she felt sure this audition was in the bag. And not only that, it felt really good to belt out her favorite song in front of a bunch of people. Well, a few people. And Paul. Nobody popular had shown up for auditions, but at this point, she was hooked on performing. You could even say she was headed in a…new direction. She laughed inwardly at her pun, and sang even louder.

~L~

Sheldon Shlepper, who had decided to wear something from his grandmother every day from now on, glanced around the empty hallway. No jocks were around to make fun of him for joining show choir. He couldn't believe his luck as he signed his name to the audition list. Paul, who had always been nice to him, was running it, and it combined his two favorite things: music and showboating. He would earn a spot for sure. He might get some extra ribbing from the popular crowd, but he already played the pan flute and wanted to run for class president. One more "dorky" extra-curricular wouldn't do any more damage.

"Hello, I'm Sheldon Shlepper, and I'll be singing 'Mr. Cellophane'," he announced to the tiny group in the auditorium. As he sang, he kept glancing at Paul, who was tapping along to the music with a smile on his face. Sheldon grinned throughout the rest of the number. He was in!

~L~

Noel Covington and Sam Richards signed up together. Not that they _were_ together. Sam wasn't gay. He wasn't. Just because Derek had started that rumor in sixth grade and effectively ended their twelve-year friendship did not mean that he would stop hanging out with his new best friend Noel, the sensitive poet. Joining show choir would destroy their reputations for good. But, Sam reasoned, they mostly stayed out of Derek's way anyway, and Paul was running it. He figured Paul was happily married. He was proof that singing did not automatically determine a man's sexuality.

Noel was all for it. He loved singing. Sometimes he set his poems to music.

Sam wasn't so sure it was his own calling, but he had a decent voice.

"I kissed a girl and I liked it," Sam sang, shaky at first, but growing more confident with each syllable. Noel had begged him to do a different song, but Sam liked that one. It was fun to sing. After all, that's why Sam was there in the first place. To have fun.

~L~

Casey McDonald was a nervous wreck. It was her first day at a new school. She had gone to an all-girls' school in Chicago, and not only was she about to enter co-education for the first time, the only other student she knew was the vile and repulsive Derek Venturi. You couldn't even say she _knew_ him. Her mother had moved her a million miles away from her home because of her job, and what did she do? She met a man. And this man had two cute kids…and a teenage son. He couldn't even be called a son. He was a leech. A parasite. She had met him for half an hour when her mother and his father had insisted they all go out to dinner. Derek had left early for a date, and George, that was her mother's new boyfriend's name, let him leave. She thought maybe he would be nice enough to give her a tour of the school, maybe give her some advice. But no. He had barely looked at her.

She tried to put the troglodyte out of her head as she entered the halls of McKinley for the first time. She had come in close enough to the beginning of the year that she was not behind in school work, but since she was the only new kid in the sophomore class, everyone else had already known each other from last year.

Her saving grace came in the form of her locker mate (jeez, this school was brutally underfunded), Emily Davis. She was sweet, and friendly, and promised to introduce her to some people. Casey threw up in her mouth a little bit when Derek walked by, and Emily not only swooned, she actually batted her eyelashes at him. He gave her a half-nod, and when he saw Casey, his lip curled upward, but he said nothing. Casey went back to putting her books in the locker. She decided not to mention to Emily that she knew Derek, or that their parents were currently involved in some sort of midlife crisis that caused them to be together every waking moment. Casey tried not to think about the fact that she could end up with Derek as a stepbrother. Ugh.

Emily mentioned something about show choir auditions. Casey snapped to attention. That was her _thing_. She _loved_ performing. She had been the lead in all of the musicals at her old school. Her dream was to play Baby in _Dirty Dancing_ at Toronto's Royal Alexandra Theatre. Or, you know, Broadway would be good, too.

The auditions were that day, but she already knew what she'd be singing. "On My Own," from the seminal classic, Les Misérables. Casey never hit a wrong note, her voice never cracked, and she was an impeccable dancer. That wasn't hubris, it was just fact. She was destined to be one of the greats.

Her mother had done nothing but encourage her for her whole life. She had been in dance classes since she was two, tap shoes since she was four, and en pointe since she was ten. Again, not bragging, just the truth. She was going to be Famous one day. So Famous that they'd name a dance move after her. Or a band, like Natalie Portman. Or an entire theater. Didn't matter. As long as _everyone_ in North America knew her name.

Casey raced over to sign up as soon as Emily finished telling her the details. She had only a few hours before the audition, and she hoped she wasn't too late. The sign-up sheet was still there, with Emily's name at the top, and some other names she didn't recognize in between. But she would know them soon enough. After all, any teacher that did not admit her after the audition she was going to give was obviously a tone-deaf hack.

Casey signed her name with a flourish and placed her signature number ten in superscript at the end of the "d" in McDonald. She realized that it was a little bit obnoxious, but she didn't care. It had been her signature ever since she was seven and got a perfect ten at the finals from every gymnastics judge in Chicago. She put it in her signature to remind herself that she should always strive to be a perfect ten in everything she did, not just performing. Call her a perfectionist, call her whatever name you want, but she was going to be the best perfectionist, the best keener, the best freak anyone had ever seen!

As she turned away from the sign-up sheet, a blast of freezing cold liquid hit her square in the face. It oozed into her ears, down her shirt, and she was sure a large amount was already wreaking havoc with her hair.

"Jerk!" she shouted at Derek's retreating back. Coward didn't even stick around to clean up his own mess. She was sure it was Derek, though. He'd had that leather jacket on at dinner, too.

"Keener!" he shouted back over his shoulder. A few of his cronies laughed. She briefly wondered if he had told anyone that their parents were dating. But it didn't matter. It looked like he was going to be tormenting her regardless of any kind of connection.

She didn't even realize she was crying until she got to the ladies room and saw that two trails of water had washed away the slushie on her cheeks. She had a feeling that this might be the torture of choice at this school. At her old school, it had been catty remarks made over lipstick touch-ups in the girls' room. But of course, _she_ had never been the target of any of that. She had been popular at her old school. And now she was at school with…ick. _Boys_.

The show choir advisor, Mr. Greeby, pulled her out of study hall for a meeting in his office, about an hour after the slushie incident. She had managed to get cleaned up, but there was still a large red stain all over her white shirt. She didn't even have a sweater to cover it up.

"Hello there, Miss McDon…oh," Paul cringed. "I'm sorry to see you've already been slushied," he said with a straight face.

Casey couldn't help but smile. "Hi, Mr. Greeby. It's okay. I was honored to get a unique McKinley welcome. It's a pleasure to meet you." She sounded a lot braver than she felt.

"It's nice to meet you, too, Casey. And please call me Paul. Everybody does." His warmth was infectious, and Casey found herself very comfortable around him, which didn't happen often with anyone of the opposite sex. If all the teachers were this nice, she was going to do well at this school.

"I called you in here to check in, see how your first day is going, all that," Paul continued. "Besides the obvious, how are you holding up?"

Casey shrugged and took a seat when he motioned to the chair across from his desk. "I'm fine. I'm locker mates with Emily Davis, who's really nice. And I like my classes. Oh, and I signed up for New Directions!" She beamed at him, and his reaction didn't disappoint.

"That's wonderful, Casey!" Paul had read in her file only a few minutes ago that she was quite musical, so this really was good news, for both of them. "It'll be a great way to make some friends."

"I hope so. I only know Emily so far. Oh, and Derek," she added, trying to sound offhand.

Paul's head snapped up. "Is he the one who…" he motioned to her shirt and his stomach dropped. _Come on, Derek_, he groaned inwardly. _Preying on the new kid already?_

Casey nodded. "It gets worse. I've been in London a week, and for five of those days, my mom has been dating his dad."

Paul took a second to compose himself from the shock and resolved to remain professional. "That must be hard. Have you and Derek officially met?"

"Yes, at dinner last night. But he wasn't very friendly."

"Derek takes a while to warm up to new people," Paul said, trying to be fair to his troublesome student. "I'm sure you two will get to be friends."

"I don't think so. But that's okay. It's not like my mom's going to get _married_, right?" Casey said, as if asking Paul to play fortune teller.

Paul gave Casey a long look. "Casey, no one knows what's going to happen tomorrow. Why don't you concentrate on taking things one day at a time? Especially now. You're under a lot of stress, with the move and starting a new school. I wouldn't worry about Derek. He'll come around eventually, and if not, he's not worth your time."

Casey nodded. "Okay."

"Oh, but let me know if he slushies you again. I try to keep on top of that sort of thing, but obviously I can't be everywhere at once. And let me know if you need to talk. My door is always open."

"Thank you. I will."

Casey left, and Paul sat back in his chair. Becoming friends with a driven, ambitious student like Casey might be just what Derek needed to get his act together. Paul knew he slipped into bullying every now and again, but he remained convinced that with a little guidance, Derek would turn out to be a wonderful man. He wondered if he could somehow trick Derek into joining New Directions. But that was a little unethical, and highly unlikely that even if he could sing, he would do well in a choir. He also thought about calling Derek to his office to reprimand him for the slushie incident, but decided it was none of his business, especially because he had no hard evidence that Derek had done it. Paul and Derek had an uneasy peace, and he needed to stay on Derek's good side in order to affect any positive change.

Paul's head was starting to hurt. He couldn't wait for auditions. He could clear his head and just listen to kids rocking out.

~L~

Emily was impressive. Sheldon had great stage presence. Sam and Noel were a little rough, but had solid voices. And Casey. Casey was as phenomenal as her resume claimed. He couldn't believe his luck! Five auditions, five members. And most importantly, five enthusiastic singers.

Unfortunately, the first rehearsal the next day was, to put it mildly, a disaster. Casey was the only one with dance training, but even that couldn't save her when Sam's hand was too sweaty to properly execute any kind of partnered dance. Paul couldn't pair her with Noel because he had no rhythm whatsoever, and Sheldon had instantly taken to Emily. Those two would actually be pretty good together, once Emily learned to stop stepping on his toes.

The five of them were getting along well enough, and, Paul thought, for some it was a little too well. Noel and Sam had perked up as soon as Casey entered the room, and stepped all over each other trying to be the first to introduce themselves. Casey was gorgeous, there was no denying that, but he couldn't have two of his singers (let alone two best friends) vying for her affection. It would throw off the whole dynamic of the group. And Emily and Sheldon had known each other peripherally, but Sheldon had lit up the moment he heard Emily sing. Emily was not so impressed by Sheldon, however, probably having already seen him as Motel in _Fiddler_ last year.

"We suck!" Emily cried in frustration after their fifth attempt at "Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat" from _Guys and Dolls_.

"It'll get there," Paul promised. He had to keep reminding himself that it was only the first rehearsal.

"Paul," Casey whined. "Do you have any idea how ridiculous this is? We're doing anything _but_ rocking the boat right now. Sheldon _cannot_ carry this song."

Sheldon was barely offended, because he _knew _he was good. "Whatever, Case. A little irony never hurt anyone. We'll get better."

Casey folded her arms. "There is _nothing_ ironic about show choir," she huffed. Then she turned on her heel and stormed out.

Paul sighed. "Just keep practicing while I go find Casey." The remaining members launched into another sloppy yet somehow endearing version of "Sit Down".

He followed Casey out to the bleachers, waiting a beat before sitting down next to her.

"It's not fair. I was among equals, well, maybe not equals, but certainly girls with comparable talent at my old school. Here, I don't know anybody, there are _boys_, and we're a terrible show choir." She was sniffling. The tears would come any minute.

"I know it's hard," Paul sympathized. "But you have to keep going. You're the backbone of this choir, Casey, I can tell. You know you're the best singer. But Sheldon's pretty good, too. Everyone has his or her own strengths. And part of being in a choir like this is helping each other and learning from each other."

"I guess." Casey looked unconvinced.

"Do the boys really bother you all that much?" Paul teased. But it was a legitimate question.

"No," Casey smiled through her tears. "It's just strange to be singing with them. Sheldon and I do harmonize pretty well. And Sam…" she blushed.

"You like Sam?" Paul asked, fully expecting a denial.

"He's pretty cute," Casey nodded.

"Well." Paul grinned in spite of his earlier annoyance at the flirtation. "I should probably caution you to take things slowly. Sam's a nice boy, though."

Casey rolled her eyes. "Please, Paul. I do _not_ have time for a boyfriend. I'm trying to get Famous, remember? A significant other would only hold me back."

Paul hid a smile. This girl was too much. "So, just admiring him from afar, then?"

"You're the strangest teacher I've ever met, Paul," Casey said, meaning it in the best possible way.

"Thank you, I think," Paul chuckled. He stood up. "Shall we go back inside?"

"Yes. Hey Paul?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think we could keep looking for a male vocalist? I really need someone who can keep up with me, and Sheldon's fine, but he's just not leading man material, you know?"

"I'll try my best, Casey."

~L~

The next morning, Principal Lassiter called Paul into his office before the school day had even begun.

"My hands are tied, Paul. I need the auditorium. Alcoholics Anonymous wants to rent it out for their afternoon meetings."

"But we just started rehearsals!"

"There are a lot of drunks in this town, and they're paying me ten bucks a head."

Paul slumped in his seat and groaned. He knew Lassiter was not going to back down on this. The school needed the money. But he worked hard, and he had rights. "How about this? If we show at regionals, we get the auditorium. If not, AA can have it."

"What is it with you and this club? You only have five kids!"

"Guess you have nothing to worry about, then," Paul shot back.

Lassiter raised his eyebrows. "Fine."

Paul pumped his fist in the air. "Yes!" He didn't even care that Lassiter was watching.

"You're running detention for free to make it up to me," Lassiter said pointedly.

Paul's face fell. _Unbelievable_. But, he believed in his choir. "Deal."

Paul knew that if he was going to get New Directions to regionals, he would need more singers. The Cheerios were perfect because they could already move their bodies well. He just hoped some of them could sing. He hated to go to the varsity coach, because frankly, she scared him. The coach of the freshman team, Ryan "The Fridge" Sylvester, scared him a little less. He was a football player, a senior, and ruled over the upper classes the way Derek ruled over the freshmen and sophomores. But Ryan was actually _mean_. Derek just liked to pretend he was.

The kid had his own office and everything. And yet the school couldn't hire someone so that Paul didn't have to work two jobs on one salary? (He was never sure which one he would give up, given the choice. He loved computers, and yet he loved talking to the kids in a more informal way. Oh, well. With people like Ryan around, he would never be forced to choose.)

"Hey Ryan, mind if we talk for a minute?" Paul asked, knocking on Ryan's open door.

"Sure," he grunted. "What?"

Paul decided to cut right to the chase. "The glee club needs performers, and your Cheerios squad has some great ones. Do you think any of the girls would want to double up?"

Ryan sneered at him. "What you're doing right now is called blurring the lines. High school is a caste system. People fall into certain slots. Your jocks, your popular kids, they're up in my penthouse. The invisibles and the people playing live-action druids and trolls out in the forest live in my basement."

Paul really could not stand that smug, entitled son of a gun. But, as a teacher, he couldn't show his disdain. Asking in what he hoped was an innocent manner, he said, "So where does the glee club lie?"

Ryan snickered. "They're my gardeners and housekeepers."

Paul's face fell. He would get no love from The Fridge.

~L~

Paul went to see Kathy directly after his meeting with Ryan. He needed someone with a positive outlook on life, and Ms. Zeldin was usually optimistic.

"You just need to get them out of their boxes," she told him. "Kids are going to do what they think is cool even if that's not who they are."

"So how do I get kids on my side?"

"They follow the leader. If you can get a couple of the popular kids to sign up, the rest will fall right in."

"Derek?"

Kathy shrugged. "Doubtful. Maybe Ralph would, though. If you could get him away from Derek long enough." She rolled her eyes.

Derek had taken a drama course last semester for extra credit and spent each class period either pretend sword-fighting with the props or flirting with the girls. Sometimes both at the same time.

"Ralph, huh?" It was highly unlikely, but at this point, Paul would try anything.

~L~

He got an audience with the hockey team, and he was surprised to see Sam amongst them. He had no idea Sam played any sports. But it seemed that while Derek and Ralph were varsity, Sam was JV. That explained it. Sam liked the sport, but wasn't good enough to play with Derek. Which was, Paul thought sadly, probably a good thing. Paul winked at him as the guys took their seats in the locker room. Sam gave a half-hearted wave, terrified Paul would single him out because of glee. To Sam's immense relief, Paul only made a short speech about how he was looking for athletes with a good sense of balance and timing.

"Glee club needs guys," he finally admitted. There were scattered chuckles. "I'll put the sign-up sheet on the door to the locker room, so if anyone wants to sign up…" he trailed off, realizing from the stony faces staring back at him that this mission was futile.

Just for the heck of it, Paul went back to the locker room after hockey practice ended to see if anyone had dared to sign up. The sheet was full of rude language. Paul sighed. He refused to believe that New Directions would really end, just like that. It wasn't fair.

"…Even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight," came a crystal clear voice from the showers. "You're a candle in the window on a cold dark winter's night…" the singer was _good_, whoever he was.

Paul crept toward the showers, aware that if anyone walked in right now, he would be caught in a terrible-seeming position. But he really needed to find out who was singing!

"…and I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might…"

Paul rounded the corner. It was Ralph. He couldn't believe it. Ralph's voice was _beautiful_.

"And I can't fight this feeling anym—" Ralph slipped on the soapy floor and slid backwards with a yelp.

Paul came running and grabbed Ralph just before his head collided with the ceramic tile floor.

"Paul!" Ralph gasped, sitting up. Paul looked away, eyes searching for a towel, but Ralph seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that he was buck naked in the shower with a teacher. "You saved my life!" Ralph babbled thanks as Paul turned off the water, reached for a towel, and tossed it at Ralph.

Ralph wrapped the towel around himself and stood, still thanking Paul.

"I'm just glad you're okay, really," Paul said, still a little shaken.

"I owe you my life, dude!"

Paul took a deep breath. "It was nothing." He hoped Ralph wouldn't ask him why he was alone in the boys' locker room at a strange hour.

"I swear, anything I can do to repay you…"

Paul felt like a terrible person for even thinking it, but of course, his answer was to join New Directions. But he couldn't do that to Ralph.

"That's not necessary, Ralph. I was happy to help," he said uncomfortably.

"Really, Paul, anything. I really owe you."

Paul hated himself in that moment, but this was _Ralph_. He could always pretend it was a joke if Ralph didn't go for it. "Well, I'd love to have you in New Directions."

Ralph nodded and stuck out his still-wet hand. "Done."

Paul almost fell to the floor himself as they shook on it.

~L~

Ralph was excited about glee club. He had always loved to sing, but nobody knew about that, not even Derek. This was his chance to show off a little. He was always in Derek's shadow, even though they had a pretty equal friendship; Ralph never took any crap from Derek and vice versa. But Derek was the most popular guy in school, and Ralph had always been second-in-command. So it would be nice to do something just for himself for a change. Besides, his grandmother would be so proud to know he was a singer in a choir. She idolized old-timey people like Frank Sinatra and that Crosby guy with the funny-sounding first name.

Paul hid a smile when Ralph turned up to his first rehearsal wearing a bathrobe.

"I know it's not a real choir robe, but I figure it's close enough, right?"

Paul waited for a snide comment from Casey, but she giggled instead. Sam explained to Ralph that they actually wore costumes, not robes, and Ralph smiled wider than Paul had ever seen.

Ralph's rendition of "You're the One that I Want" hardly did Travolta justice. But Casey appreciated the power in his voice right away, and matched him note for note. The other four members looked a little bewildered that Ralph, of all people, had come to save the day.

As Casey grabbed Ralph's hand and began dancing with him, though, he looked terrified. Paul couldn't blame him. When Casey got going, she could be pretty intense.

When the song ended, Emily threw her sheet music at Sheldon and fumed, "I am _so_ not down with this background singing thing! I didn't sign up for this to stand in the back and hum. I am _Beyoncé_, not Kelly Rowland!"

Paul knew she was right, but really, Casey and Ralph sounded so good together it was a shame to pair anyone else as leads. "It's just one song," he said to placate her.

"Besides, this is the first time we've actually sounded good," Noel chimed in. Emily gave him a death glare.

Paul rolled his eyes. "Let's run it again."

~L~

Derek was always glad when the person being yelled at wasn't him. But he wasn't so glad to see that it was Ralph the coach was chewing out during their hockey practice. He knew something was up with his friend; he had been really quiet the last few days. Ralph would talk when he was ready, though. All Derek could hear of the yelling was something about singing. But that didn't make much sense.

When Ralph returned to the ice, Derek asked him what was up.

Ralph shrugged. "Coach is upset that I have to miss practice Saturday."

Derek gaped at him. "You can't miss practice. Did someone die?"

Ralph crossed himself. "Du-ude, you can't say stuff like that! And no, no one died. I just have this thing to do."

"What thing?"

"My grandma…I have to help her cook, and you know, do things."

Derek was getting frustrated. Ralph was never this evasive. Sometimes he had trouble answering questions he didn't know the answers to, but this time, he was definitely _playing_ dumb. "Why?" he tried.

"She just had…surgery."

"What kinda surgery?"

"She, uh, had to have her prostate out."

Derek nodded in mock understanding. He was pretty darn sure that women didn't have prostates, but he was going to ask his brother Edwin when he got home. The last thing he ever wanted to do was look like an idiot in front of Ralph. All he said was, "That's rough."

"Yeah." Ralph didn't say anything else, so Derek dropped it.

~L~

New Directions had plans on Saturday, of course. Ralph and Sam skipped hockey practice (Sam hadn't had much trouble getting out of it, because he wasn't varsity) and Paul convinced Ms. Zeldin to come along as a second chaperone. She had been excited to meet Casey the Wunderkind.

They headed a few towns over to check out Vocal Adrenaline, their stiffest competition at regionals. Casey's cousin Vicky attended the choir's school, but unlike her more theatrical cousin, Victoria would never be caught dead at a glee club performance.

Sam watched in annoyance as Ralph got in line for the snack bar next to Casey. Sam thought maybe she might have liked him, but since Ralph had joined New Directions, Casey bared looked at Sam. She only had eyes for the male lead. Sam tried not to be too disappointed. After all, Casey was awfully controlling, and more than a little crazy.

"You're very talented," Casey told Ralph, trying to make small talk.

"You think so?" Ralph beamed.

"Yeah." Casey smiled back. "I would know. I'm very talented too."

Sam rolled his eyes at Noel, and Noel snickered into his hand. Yup, definitely too high-maintenance. They tuned Casey out and began talking to Sheldon and Emily.

"I think the rest of the team expects us to become an item," Casey whispered to Ralph, blushing. "You know, you the hot male lead and me the stunning young ingénue everyone roots for," she explained, as if that made sense to Ralph.

Ralph didn't even bother to ask what the heck she was talking about. He got the gist: Casey liked him! Too bad he had to disappoint her.

"Well, I have a girlfriend," Ralph said sheepishly.

Casey blushed even harder. "Really? Who?"

"Sally Albright."

"Cheerleader Sally Albright?" Casey's face fell. Emily had pointed out the cheerleader clique in the cafeteria. Most of them were blonde, leggy, and gorgeous. Something else occurred to her; more gossip Emily had confided. "Isn't she the president of the Celibacy Club?"

Ralph nodded. That was the only thing he wished he could change about Sally. "Yeah. We've been together almost four months now. She's pretty cool…Ooh, I wonder if they have Sour Patch Kids!"

Casey shook her head in amusement as Ralph leaned over the candy counter.

As they filed into the auditorium, Paul told the kids that even though Vocal Adrenaline was supposedly good, there was no way they had more talent than New Directions did.

One show-stopping rendition of Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" and six bug-eyed, slack-jawed teenagers later, Paul knew they were in trouble. Kathy looked at him in horror. "We're doomed," she mouthed. Paul could only nod.

~L~

Monday morning, Ralph took a back road to school and instantly regretted it when he was surrounded by a gaggle of jocks with Super Soakers that did not seem to contain water.

"Girls don't have prostates," Derek growled as he spun Ralph around to face him. Ralph found himself staring down the barrel of his best friend's gun. "You lied. And you betrayed the team. You need to be punished." He smirked, and Ralph laughed, relieved that it was all in good fun.

"You guys really scared me there for a second," Ralph said breathlessly.

Derek hated to do this. He cared about Ralph, he did. But how would it look if he just let this slide? Ralph blew off practice for a singing competition. And Casey was there, of all people. He couldn't have Ralph fraternizing with his soon-to-possibly-be stepsister. Or with any of her keener friends. It would destroy his reputation.

So Derek pulled the trigger along with his fellow hockey players.

Ralph smelled like prune juice for the rest of the day.

~L~

"Didn't see you at glee club yesterday," Casey said accusingly as she snuck up on Ralph between classes the next day.

Ralph stuck his head inside his locker. "Nope."

Casey's forehead creased. "Why?"

"I just can't, okay?"

"Because of Derek?" She had heard all about the Super Soaker incident from Emily.

"No!" _Yes_, he thought.

"He's a jerk, Ralph. And the sooner you see that, the better."

"Like you're some expert! You've never even met the guy!"

Casey's nostrils flared, but she stayed silent. She couldn't tell Ralph the truth. She just couldn't. Not yet, anyway. Their parents had been on yet another date the night before. They had wanted the kids to get together, but Casey and Derek refused. So Casey's sister Lizzie spent the evening with the Venturis, and had a great time. Casey picked her up around her bedtime and smiled a hello at Derek. Derek made his hand into an "L" shape and put it to his head with a smirk.

At least he hadn't assaulted her with any more frozen liquids…yet.

"No, I haven't met him…but I've heard bad things," Casey finally answered.

Ralph shrugged.

"Ralph!" Sally Albright came up behind him in the hallway and put her arms around his waist. "Hey, baby!"

Ralph grinned. "Hey, Sal. This is my friend Casey."

Casey could tell right away that Sally did not appreciate the use of the word "friend." But to her credit, only Sally's eyes remained cold while her lips offered a friendly greeting.

"Remember, Christ Crusaders tonight at five, my house," Sally said, pecking Ralph on the cheek and walking away. She shot Casey a dubious glance over her shoulder. Casey knew she would have a little bit of work to do if she wanted to remain friends, or whatever they were, with Ralph. She would have to win Sally over. She seemed nice enough, just protective.

"Look, I have to quit glee," Ralph apologized. "It conflicts with—"

"Your reputation?" Casey snapped. "You've really got something Ralph, and you're throwing it away. You can't keep worrying about what people think. You're better than all of them."

Ralph had nothing to say to that. So he simply walked away. Casey tried her best not to cry.

~L~

Ralph and Derek walked home together after school.

Derek gave him a small smile. "What do you want me to do, apologize? That's not me."

Ralph shrugged. "Whatever, dude."

Derek grabbed him by the arm. "Look. If I joined the flag team or something, you'd beat the crap out of me. You know it."

"Not literally I wouldn't."

"You know what I mean. Why glee?"

"I like it, okay?"

Derek was taken aback. "Really?"

"Yeah. But I quit, so it doesn't matter anymore."

"Good. Welcome back to the world of the normal." But Derek wasn't sure he _was_ back. Ralph really did seem to like the singing thing.

They continued walking in silence.

"Get away from me!" someone yelled from a nearby alley.

Derek and Ralph exchanged questioning glances. "Let's check it out," Derek said.

A few senior football players were hassling Noel. He was blocked in and couldn't run.

"Leave him alone," Ralph told the nearest one.

The player laughed. "This is one thing the hockey team and the football team agree on, isn't it? This kid thinks he can sit at our booth at Nelly's and write poetry. You gonna let him get away with that, Venturi?" He looked at Derek.

Derek shrugged. "He's right," he told Ralph. "This is their beef. We have nothing to do with it."

"No." Ralph stood his ground. "I'm so sick of this. What makes you think you're so much better than Noel?" He pushed past the players and grabbed Noel's elbow. "Come on."

None of the football players seemed to want to start a fight, so they let Ralph lead Noel away. Of course, they subjected him to lots of catcalls instead. Derek paused a moment, then followed Ralph. He couldn't believe his best friend had just done that. The hockey team had an unspoken agreement with the football team to stay out of each other's business.

"Thanks, Ralph," Noel said gratefully, once they were far enough away to drown out the immature shouts.

"No problem, buddy. Want to come play _Babe Raider_ with Derek and me?"

Derek gave Ralph a "No Way" glare, but it was too late. Noel smiled.

"Sure." He looked really happy to be included, and Derek softened a little. He felt a little tug, that he refused to believe was guilt, because he knew Noel had replaced Derek as Sam's best friend. But he was not going to suggest they invite Sam too. He. Was. Not.

When Ralph's parting words to Noel later that night were, "See you at glee tomorrow," Derek knew he had lost a little piece of Ralph to that keener circle of hell. But he didn't care as much as he thought he would. Besides, Noel was kinda cool to hang out with.

~L~

Casey was in full-on control freak mode at the next rehearsal. She tossed around phrases like, "I won my first dance competition at the age of three," and "I can do these steps in my sleep." Paul was running late, and she had attempted to take over practice. That didn't sit too well with anyone else, especially Emily.

"Listen, Case-zilla—" Emily began. Sheldon looked impressed at the nickname.

But she didn't get any further, because Ralph showed up. "Whoa, whoa, what's going on here? This is supposed to be fun!" he interrupted.

"Tell that to the dictator," Noel mumbled.

"What are you doing back?" Sheldon turned to Ralph. "I thought you quit on us."

Ralph looked at his feet. "Yeah…but I figured out that this is what I want to be doing. I don't want to be just a dumb jock anymore. I like being good at something. I like being with you guys." His eyes met Casey's.

Everyone looked at each other and shrugged, unsure if they should trust him.

Ralph mustered up some enthusiasm. "Come on, guys! We can be great, I know it! Noel, you play guitar. You can recruit the jazz band to back us up, right?"

Noel nodded. "I do have pull there."

"And Sheldon," Ralph continued, "you can get your gram to help with costumes."

"Of course." Sheldon bowed, which made Emily giggle.

"Casey can do choreography," Ralph went on.

Casey nodded. "I'd be happy to. If you want me…" she looked around at everyone, obviously sorry for being a diva. She was met with reassuring smiles.

Ralph to turned to Emily. "You can be our publicist, since you know the school so well."

Emily agreed.

"Sam…what are you good at, bro?"

Sam shrugged. "Uh…"

Ralph waved a hand dismissively. "We'll figure it out!"

"And what about you, Ralph?" Casey asked.

Ralph held up his iPod. "I've got the music."

~L~

Paul raced down the hallway towards the auditorium. He had had a dentist appointment that day and knew he would miss some of practice: maybe a few weak run-throughs, a few fumbled steps. But he was not expecting the sound coming out of the end of the hall.

Four voices harmonized the opening bars of a song he knew but couldn't quite place. He threw open the auditorium doors and saw with astonishment that his glee club was dressed in jeans and red shirts, owning that stage. They watched him come in and sit down with smiles on their faces, but that didn't break their concentration.

Ralph began the song, and Paul knew instantly what it was. It was a great choice for them.

"Just a small-town girl," Ralph sang, louder and more confidently than Paul had ever heard. "Living in a lonely world…" He walked forward.

Casey came up next to him and matched his steps. "Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit. He took the midnight train going anywhere…" She looked at Ralph with such trust in her eyes that it made Paul want to cry. Her voice was astounding, and their chemistry on that stage was electric.

They reached out for each other as their steps took them further apart on the stage.

Noel's electric guitar suddenly blended with the harmonized background vocals.

"A singer in a smoky room…"

"The smell of wine and cheap perfume…" Ralph joined Casey for the next line, "For a smile they can share the night. It goes on and on and on and on…"

Ralph spun her, and Casey got shivers as she looked into his eyes. Uh-oh. She was falling hard. She couldn't help herself. But she knew it could never go anywhere. Ralph was probably thinking of Sally.

But he wasn't. Ralph was lost in Casey's crystal blue eyes.

"Strangers, waiting, up and down the boulevard…" Casey and Ralph joined Emily, Sheldon, Sam, and Noel over by the jazz band and danced all together. "Their shadows, searching in the night…"

The others backed up and Casey and Ralph were front and center again. "Streetlight people, living just to find emotion, hiding somewhere in the night…" They raised their hands to the sky as the others rocked out on their microphones.

As the song continued and New Directions tore up the stage, Derek stood alone, hidden in the shadows of the balcony. He had come to see what all the fuss was about.

And now he knew. Ralph had said he loved to sing, but Derek had a feeling part of it was that brown-haired girl he was singing _with_. They looked at each other like there was no one else in the world. It made Derek uncomfortable. Sally was a nice girl. He liked her. He didn't want Ralph to do something he'd regret.

Especially with his dad's girlfriend's daughter, the freaky keener.

But the thing was, she looked absolutely beautiful out on that stage. Her voice went right through him and somehow made him want to sing along. He couldn't take his eyes off her. She was _perfect_.

"Don't stop believing…"

Uh-oh. He was in trouble.

"Hold on to that feeling…"

_Big_ trouble.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the balcony, The Fridge, Sally, and her best friend Kendra Mason were spying, all for different reasons. None of them liked what they saw.

"Streetlight people…"

The glee club was good.

"Don't stop…"

_Too_ good.

As the song ended, Paul gave them a standing ovation. "It's good, guys. It's a nine. But we need a ten."

Casey's frown at the imperfect score vanished. A perfect ten. She was definitely going to be able to do that.

"We'll get there," Ralph said, smiling at his new friends.

Paul sighed with relief. He could not believe his pipe dream to bring glee to McKinley had actually panned out. It looked like he had a serious contender for regionals on his hands.

He raised his arms to the stage and cried, "From the top!"


	2. Showmance

"Paul!"

Paul resisted the urge to turn around and walk the other way. He was barely in the school building that morning, and Casey was already about to bombard him with suggestions for glee. He was happy to have her, he was, and she was a nice girl, but _really_.

Sure enough, she was off and running as soon as she caught up to him. "I went to the library and I got some sheet music, and I picked out some songs that feature me heavily on lead vocal."

Paul went the grateful-apologetic route. "Thanks, Case, but I already have a song picked out."

Casey's face fell. Before Paul could find the sheet music in his messenger bag to show her, Ralph appeared out of nowhere and offered to carry Casey's backpack.

She smiled sweetly at him. "Thanks, Ralph. You're so chivalrous."

"That's a good thing, right?"

Paul shook his head and smiled. Casey was looking at Ralph adoringly. He didn't understand _that_ attraction one bit, but he had a feeling he'd have to keep an eye on those two.

Emily, Sam, and Noel came in stride with Paul and greeted him enthusiastically. He was excited to see them laughing and talking like old friends. As far as he knew, they had barely interacted before New Directions.

"Don't be late for rehearsal this afternoon," he reminded them cheerily. They all nodded and waved as Paul branched off towards his office.

Too bad Derek and Sheldon were blocking his path. They were by the dumpster again, and Paul eyed Derek warily.

"Buenos nachos, Paul," he said with his trademark smirk. He slung an arm around Sheldon's shoulders as his jock friends chuckled. Sheldon looked just as terrified as usual, but again, Paul couldn't really do anything because Derek wasn't hurting Sheldon.

So he ignored the tension and decided to keep Derek happy. "Go Titans!" Paul pumped a fist in the air, and Derek saluted him.

Paul walked away, but not before he heard Derek tell Sheldon, "Get in the dumpster."

He turned around and was about to go save the poor kid, when he heard Sheldon proclaim with confidence, "One day, you will all work for me." Then Sheldon actually helped Derek along as he and a buddy threw him into the dumpster.

Paul kept walking. Sheldon was going to turn out just fine, that was for sure. But he'd have to have Derek into his office for yet another session on kindness.

Kathy peeked around the corner and saw Paul coming. When he was distracted saying hello to a student, she stepped into the hallway and collided right into him. (An oldie but a goodie.)

"Oh, gosh, Paul, I'm sorry," she said sweetly.

Paul steadied himself by putting his hands on her shoulders. Then he grinned. "That's okay. Hey, I want to thank you so much for your advice the other day. Glee is coming along really well."

"I know, and that's great." Kathy smiled. "Oh, look, we match! Periwinkle and periwinkle!" She pointed to his sweater and then the trimmings on her collar.

Paul looked down and chuckled.

"Get a room," Kendra snapped as she and Sally walked by.

Before either of them had a chance to respond, Sally added, "Ryan told me he wants to see you in his office, Paul. He doesn't like to be kept waiting."

"You got it," Paul grumbled.

Kathy gave him an encouraging pat on the back, and he headed down the hallway to talk to The Fridge.

~L~

Ryan was on a treadmill when Paul entered his office. "Hey, you wanted to see me?"

"Heya, buddy," Ryan said condescendingly. Or not. It was hard to tell. "Just blasting my hammies. Iron tablet?" He held out a bottle.

Paul shook his head, and Ryan shrugged. "I talked to Lassiter," he began.

"_Principal_ Lassiter," Paul corrected, hoping to force him into showing some sort of respect.

No such luck. "Lassie said," Ryan went on as if Paul hadn't spoken, "that if your little group doesn't place at regionals, he's cutting the program. Ouch," he clucked.

"Oh, glee club will be fine, don't you worry. What does it have to do with you, anyway?"

"It's drawing funding from my Cheerios. The senior squad gets most of our budget as it is," Ryan snarled.

"Ah." Paul fidgeted. He really, really did not want to be on this guy's bad side.

"So, I was at the local library, where I read _Cheerleading Today_ aloud to blind geriatrics," Ryan reached for a book from his desk, "And I came across this little page-turner." He held the book aloft so that Paul could read the title.

_Show Choir Rule Book_. Great. Just great. "Go on," Paul replied.

"And it turns out, you need twelve singers to qualify for regionals. Last time I looked, you only had five and half."

Paul must have looked confused, because Ryan explained, "Ralph's half a brain."

"Hey now—"

"I got a hold of the master curriculum list and highlighted a few special ed classes for ya. Maybe you can find more glee recruits in there. Because I'm not sure there's anyone who'd want to swim over to your island of misfit toys."

"Now just a second, Ryan. I am a teacher. You can't talk to me that way."

Ryan got a little too close, and Paul backed up under his threatening glare. "Oh yeah, and whatcha gonna do about it? Tell Lassie? Nah, I got him under my thumb. Just try and get me in trouble. _Try_."

Paul swallowed. "Are you threatening me, Ryan?"

Ryan backed away. "Threatening you? Oh, no. Presenting you with an opportunity to compromise yourself? You betcha."

Paul could not stand up to this kid. Ryan did have some sort of power over the administration. He briefly wondered what kind of dirt Ryan had on Lassie…er, Principal Lassiter.

Ryan kept talking. "I get it. You want to be creative. You want to be in the spotlight. Let's face it. You want to be _me_. So here's the deal. You do with your depressing little group of rejects what I did with my wealthy, elderly grandmother." He paused, and with menace in his eyes, said quietly, "Euthanize it."

It took all of Paul's willpower not to sock him in the jaw. He straightened up and said, "You know what, Ryan? Glee club is here to stay. I believe in those kids. I know you're used to getting whatever you want, but it looks like your Cheerios are going to have some competition. We're going to show at regionals. You have my word on that."

Paul didn't owe him any kind of explanation, the spoiled rotten brat. "Have a good day, Ryan." He walked slowly from the office, dignity intact.

~L~

"We are in line to be the most popular kids in school by the time we're juniors," Sally was saying as Casey bent into her locker, rummaging for books. She used the door as a shield and tried to figure out to whom Sally was talking. "Prom king and queen. Homecoming court royalty. And I am not giving up those shiny crowns just so you can _express_ yourself," she whispered fiercely. Casey was surprised. Sally did not seem like a shallow wannabe at first glance. But she knew better than anyone that ambition could mess with your head.

"Look, you're making too big a deal out of this," Ralph chuckled. Casey bit her lip. Sally was going to turn Ralph against glee! Again!

Sally's voice dropped a register, and Casey raised her eyebrows. She really wished she could see them. "Okay, let's compromise. If you quit the club, I'll let you touch my breast."

Casey's eyes turned to saucers, and she couldn't see it, but Ralph's did too.

"Under the shirt?" he clarified.

"Over the bra," Sally corrected.

Ralph paused, and Casey sucked in a breath. _Please say no, please say no_.

"No, no, I can't. I wanna do glee, Sal. I'm really happy when I perform."

Casey let out the breath and quickly covered her mouth, hoping Sally and Ralph hadn't heard her.

"People think you're gay now, Ralph," Sally was saying. "And you know what that makes me? Your big, gay beard."

Ralph shrugged. "I gotta go to class. Just relax. Everything's gonna work out." He pecked Sally on the cheek and walked away.

As he came past her, Casey dared to turn around. Her eyes met Sally's.

Sally's quivering lip turned into a snarl. "Eavesdrop much?"

Casey blanched, but stood her ground.

"Time for some girl talk, Man Hands." Sally strode up to Casey until she was right in her face. "You can dance with him, you can sing with him, but you will _never_ have him."

Sally apparently saw the chemistry between them. Casey had been writing it off as necessary for a successful show. It was essential that the male and female leads generated some heat. Otherwise nobody would watch. But she knew that her crush on Ralph was hovering dangerously on the edge of the line. And as far as Sally was concerned, Casey had already crossed it.

But Casey was not going to be intimidated by this perky social climber. "I understand why you'd be threatened," she said pleasantly. "Ralph and I have made a connection. But I'm an honorable person. I don't need to steal your man. I have plenty of suitors of my own. Every day, glee's status is going up, and yours is going down. Deal with it."

Casey turned on her heel and walked off, leaving Sally looking disgusted. Casey was extremely proud of herself. She wasn't sure how much of what she had just said about her and Ralph was true, but she wanted to believe she would never steal another woman's man.

Just as she let herself smile at her triumph, a blue slushie hit her in the face. She gasped at the temperature, only to get a mouthful of another slushie. Eyes burning, she turned around to face her assailants, who were already walking away. "Der-ek!" she hissed. He heard, and turned to smirk at her. Then he winked at Sally and kept on walking. Sally and pretty much everyone else in the hallway started laughing. Casey ran for the restroom.

~L~

At glee rehearsal, Paul was trying to teach his singers Chic's "Le Freak". He offered words of encouragement as they almost nailed the choreography.

"Listen to us, I'm sure you'll be amazed," they sang. Paul sure hoped the audience would be.

"Whoa!" Emily turned on Casey when an over-enthusiastic kick almost got her in the face. "First of all, you try to bust my face again, and I will cut you," she seethed. Casey looked contrite, so Emily turned on Paul. "And also, this song is terrible."

"It's not the song, guys. You just need to get into it," Paul tried. Didn't work.

"Oh yes, it's the song. It's really gay," Sheldon chimed in.

"Yeah, we need modern music, Paul," Noel added.

Paul felt for them, but his hands were tied. "Guys, we don't have time to discuss this. We're doing the song this Friday at the pep assembly."

Sam's face went white. "We're doing this in front of the whole school?"

"Exactly," Paul sighed.

"They're going to throw fruit at us!" Sheldon exclaimed.

"I'll press charges if that happens," Casey assured him.

"Guys." Paul could not afford a mutiny. "I can't express to you how important this assembly is. We need recruits. There are six of you. We need twelve to qualify for regionals. We have no choice, or the club is over."

No one liked that news.

"Look, I know you guys don't like this song, but we took nationals back in ninety-three with it. It's a crowd-pleaser. Trust me." He believed in the song, but these kids just weren't feeling it. What could he do, though? "Come on now, from the top."

"I'm dead," Ralph muttered, and Casey sighed.

~L~

At the next rehearsal, Sheldon and Emily were discussing costumes. Sam and Noel were fiddling with Noel's guitar. Ralph was trying to tie his shoe. Casey was staring off into space, terrified that she would lose glee. And then what, if it fell through? She _needed_ this. She could never become Famous without it.

Paul entered the choir room with a packet of sheet music. "How about a little Kanye?"

"Ooh, for the assembly?" Emily asked.

"No, unfortunately we won't be ready in time. We're still doing disco. But we can fold this into our repertoire, and it'll be awesome at regionals." He began passing out the music. "Communication is the foundation of any successful music group. If we're going to succeed, we need to communicate. You guys said you wanted modern music, I listened."

"Paul, we'd really like to not do disco at that assembly," Noel communicated.

Paul didn't hear him. He was already over by the jazz band, showing them the music. "Ralph, you're going to take the solo."

Ralph paled. "No, Paul, I'm still learning how to walk and sing at the same time!"

Paul smiled. "No problem. I'll walk you through it." It may not have been fair to the kids, but he was _dying_ to sing this song with them. He needed a little break from worrying about glee. This was his chance for a little stress relief.

He pointed to Emily. "You know this?"

Emily shot him a look. "Of course." She belted out the first line, "She take my money…" drawing out the vowels in "money" to impressive lengths.

She continued the lyrics to "Gold Digger," and got a round of applause, even from Casey, who had to admit the girl had talent.

The keyboardist thrummed out the beat for the chorus.

"She give me money, when I'm in need," everyone joined in. "when I'm in need…"

Paul jumped in with the main rap. "Now I ain't saying she a gold digger…"

He pulled out his rusty dance moves and earned goofy smiles from the kids. They were totally into it. He felt great.

They finished the song with more enthusiasm than Paul had seen from them since "Don't Stop Believing."

"Just like that!" He crowed when the music ended. "Ready to go again?"

~L~

Kathy entered the girls' room to wash her hands before lunch, and heard retching from one of the stalls.

She gently pushed open the door. Casey was kneeling in front of the toilet bowl, coughing.

"Casey? Did you just throw up?"

Casey sat up and blinked. "No."

Kathy tried not to look at the floor. "You missed the toilet."

"The girl who was throwing up before me left that." She made a face. "I tried, but I guess I just don't have a gag reflex."

"One day when you're older, that'll turn out to be a gift," Kathy said matter-of-factly. "You should talk to Paul about this."

Casey shook her head. "No, I'm fine, Ms. Z."

Kathy gave her a hard look. "Let's have a little chat."

She took Casey to her office. Paul was outside in the hallway, hanging up a flier about the pep assembly. She waved, and he waved back. Her heart fluttered, but then she remembered the anxious fifteen-year-old sitting opposite her.

"Casey, bulimia is a very messy and serious disease."

"I don't have bulimia, Ms. Zeldin." She thought back to that awful summer when her cousin Vicky teased her mercilessly about a weight gain of three pounds. "I tried it, failed, and won't ever attempt it again, trust me."

Kathy nodded. "Okay. But I still want to talk about the feelings that you had that led up to you wanting to puke your guts out." She tried to remain friendly and informal, but she knew from Paul that Casey was actually a pretty fragile girl. She probably needed an actual counselor, but she wanted Casey to feel comfortable talking to her, woman to woman.

"I want to be thinner," Casey blurted out. "Prettier, like that Sally girl." She looked down at her lap.

"And why is that?"

"Have you ever liked somebody so much that you want to lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music, and cry?"

Kathy looked out the door and into the hallway again, but Paul had gone. "No," she said convincingly. "But a boy crush, huh…I know about that. Well, not now. It takes me back. In the day. Like, a long time ago." _Stop babbling, Kath_. "You know what, Casey?" she finally said. "You need to remember to protect your heart. I don't care who he is, if he doesn't like you for the way you are, if he's married, well, you know, he's not worth the heartache…You don't want to compromise yourself for that." She cleared her throat.

Casey looked a little lost. She hadn't missed the "married" comment, though, and wondered who it was Ms. Zeldin liked.

"Have you just tried telling him how you feel?" Kathy tried again.

Casey shrugged, beginning to tear up. "He doesn't even notice me."

Kathy's heart broke for her. It must be so hard being the new kid. And she could tell why Paul liked her so much. If nothing else, this girl was true to herself. "I see. Um, okay, here's what I think. Common interests are the key to romance. Find out what he likes. Then he'll see you in a positive way, and maybe you'll end up doing something that you never would have expected."

Casey looked much happier. "Thanks, Ms. Zeldin."

"Anytime, Casey."

~L~

Ralph and Casey sat side by side in Principal Lassiter's office, flanked by Paul and Ryan.

"Go on, tell 'em," Ryan said, smiling a very unsettling smile. "Tell 'em what I caught you two doing."

"Go to hell, Sylvester," Ralph spat.

Principal Lassiter grunted. "Now, now, none of that. Let's be polite."

Ryan smirked. Principal Lassiter raised an eyebrow.

"It just sorta happened," Ralph said.

"I don't mean to be rude, but I think Ryan's overreacting," Casey added bravely.

"You watch your tone, young lady." Lassiter pointed a finger at her.

"It's that Chicago upbringing, sir. Encourages rebellion." Ryan winked at Casey, who recoiled with a grimace.

Paul tried to intervene. "This is unnecessary—"

"Just tell me what happened, Miss McDonald," Lassiter interrupted.

"Ralph was worried about having to perform a solo at the pep assembly in front of his chromosomally challenged friends. I was immediately concerned by his lack of self-esteem and made a creative preemptive strike."

"Pretty much what she said," Ralph mumbled.

"It was a twofold plan. We figured that with the right marketing strategy, we could pull from the entire student body without having an assembly, thus creating the diverse glee club this school has been craving."

Ryan picked up the narrative. "I caught them making copies of some lame flier with Justin Timberlake on it…on the _Cheerios'_ copy machine. I was so appalled I dropped my protein shake! It's for Cheerios only, paid for by alumni donations. I can't begin to fathom the damage you'd have done to the program if you'd broken it!"

"Hold on a second." Paul was fuming. Why did Ryan feel such a sense of entitlement? It was a _copy machine_, for crying out loud!

"I resent being told to hold on to anything, Paul. I put in four years at this school. I will not be treated like a second class citizen!" Ryan barked.

Ralph lunged at him, but Casey held him back. "More like five or six years," Ralph muttered.

Ryan's face twisted with rage, but he said nothing except, "There is a very clear bureaucracy when it comes to photocopies. And you, Paul, seem to think that these procedures don't apply to your students." He looked at Principal Lassiter, who was fidgeting.

"This is ridiculous!" Paul crowed.

Lassiter sighed. "Ryan's right, Paul, I'm sorry. No special treatment."

Paul threw up his hands. "How many fliers did you guys even make?"

"Seventeen," Casey said proudly.

"And how much does a photocopy cost?"

Lassiter eyed Paul, realizing that he was in a tricky situation. "Four and a half cents."

"Fine. They'll pay for the copies."

Casey looked indignant, but said nothing.

Lassiter agreed, relieved to be smoothing things over. Ryan made him nervous.

Ryan looked horrified, but he kept his mouth shut.

"And," Lassiter told Ryan, "I'm sorry, but I'll have to ask you to personally clean the congealed protein shake off the copy room floor."

"That's why we have janitors," Ryan huffed.

Lassiter straightened his tie and set his jaw. "We're in a recession, and concessions must be made."

"Fine." Ryan looked murderous.

Paul exchanged triumphant grins with Casey and Ralph.

Before he left, Ryan turned back to the relieved glee clubbers. "Lady Justice wept today," he said sadly.

Casey and Ralph burst out laughing as soon as the door was shut behind him, and Paul stifled a chuckle himself. "What is with that guy?" Casey asked, still giggling.

"Get out of my office! I have work to do!" Lassiter growled.

~L~

"Sorry about that, Paul," Ralph told him as they walked down the hall.

Casey bypassed the apology, thinking only about what needed to be done. "I'd like to get the fliers up before lunch tomorrow."

Paul stopped in his tracks, frustrated. "You know what guys? I don't want to hear it." He knew they were only trying to help, but getting into trouble with Ryan and Lassiter had been a really dumb move, and he couldn't afford one silly mistake like that; it could bring down the club for good. They had been lucky to get off with a fine. He didn't mean to snap at them, but he was on his last nerve.

Casey stood firm. "Doing that song is going to ruin any chance the glee club has. It's a terrible idea."

Paul didn't happen to think so, but he knew there was no stopping Casey when she got like this. "I have news for you, Casey. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. We're doing the assembly. And you're not putting up those fliers." He wagged a finger in their faces, and instantly regretted it. But he had made a decision to use a song that proved a winner, and he couldn't back down. They were out of time. "Everybody loves disco," he called as he walked away.

Casey and Ralph exchanged worried glances.

"It's official. I'm a dead man," Ralph moaned.

"Look, I know you're nervous, but you're _really_, _really_ talented." Casey couldn't help but smile at him.

"Aw, stop it." Ralph blushed.

She put a hand on his arm. "Maybe it'll all be okay."

Ralph looked down at her slender fingers and manicured nails. She was so pretty.

"Do you want to practice for the assembly tomorrow after school?" Casey asked before she could stop herself.

Ralph was disappointed he'd have to say no. "I can't. I have a Celibacy Club meeting."

Casey's smile vanished. "Oh."

"Bye." Ralph left her standing in the hallway, feeling like an idiot. You can't be the other woman, she reminded herself. It's not classy.

~L~

Paul walked into the copy room the next day to find Principal Lassiter cleaning up Ryan's spilled protein shake.

"I thought Ryan was supposed to do that," Paul said, unable to keep the accusing tone out of his voice.

"Ryan got a note from the school nurse claiming that he had a condition that made it impossible for him to bend over a bucket of suds," he scoffed.

"Why do you let him get away with stuff like that? He's just a student!"

Principal Lassiter sighed. "His parents donate a lot to this school. His mother was a Cheerio. She wishes she had a daughter for the squad, but she doesn't, so I have to let Ryan coach the underclassmen."

"That can't be the only reason. He has something on you, doesn't he?"

Lassiter rolled his eyes. "He's scary, okay? I just want to get him graduated and out of here with my dignity intact." He bent over the spilled shake again, scrubbing away.

Paul shook his head. "Good luck with that."

~L~

"The Celibacy Club is now in session," Sally intoned, pounding her gavel on the desk. She didn't really care about the pomp and circumstance; that was Kendra's idea. But they had vowed to remain virgins until marriage, and Sally was not about to throw away a ten-year friendship over some silly urges she had for Ralph. She had to stay strong. She had a plan for her life. She would get into a good college, go to med school, get married, and have a happy family and fulfilling career. It had always been that way. She did not want anyone or anything jeopardizing her dream.

Kendra, on the other hand, was the one who actually believed in this. She was a good Christian. She went to church regularly, prayed every night, and believed in the sanctity of marriage. Sally respected her. It had been her idea to start the Celibacy Club, and Sally was all for it. Anything to help keep her on the path of righteousness. Kendra had never been good at organizing, so Sally took over as president. She had to admit, it would look great on college applications.

Sally turned her attention to Casey. "Thanks to a school rule that says we have to let _anyone_ join the club, we're welcoming a new member this week, Casey What's-Her-Name."

Casey looked around at Sally, Kendra, and the other girls. "Where are all the boys?" She was finally in a co-ed school, and enjoying it. This club gave her a weird sense of déjà vu.

"Down the hall," Sally said, trying to be patient. "First half hour we separate, then we come together to share our faith."

~L~

Meanwhile, in the boys' room, Ralph was trying really hard to mentally transport himself elsewhere. He was still on the fence about the Celibacy Club. He had only joined to get into Sally's pants, which hadn't worked at all. But sometimes he felt like it was actually a productive way for the guys to get together and talk about sexual issues. Not that anyone talked much.

He smiled at Derek, who rolled his eyes. Derek was only in the club because Kendra had asked him, and they were casually dating. Ralph really had no idea if Derek was a virgin or not; he'd never asked. And he really didn't even want to know. And Derek didn't need to know that Ralph _was_ one. He wasn't really embarrassed about it, just mildly annoyed at Sally for making him wait.

School newsman Tinker Tomlin stared around the circle, feeling engulfed by the silence. "I think I'm going to kill myself," he said to no one in particular.

When nobody acknowledged him, he got all jumpy. "I'm serious, you guys. We're bombarded with sexual imagery every day…beer ads, those short skirts…I'm supposed to be surrounded by temptation, and not be able to do anything about it?"

"Are you kidding?" Derek scoffed. "Those skirts are crunchy toast. Kendra bent over in hers the other day, and I swear I could see her ovaries."

Tinker broke out into a cold sweat.

~L~

"God bless the perv who invented these." Kendra twirled in her short skirt.

Sally inched her own a little further down her thighs. "Come on now. Remember the power motto, guys."

The girls, with the exception of Casey, who listened with morbid curiosity, chanted, "It's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing."

~L~

"How far does Sally let you get, anyway?" one of the guys asked Ralph.

Ralph was busy tossing a basketball back and forth with Derek. "Eh, we grind, make out," he allowed. He was a gentleman, after all. His grandma would be upset if he was the kiss-and-tell type.

"How d-do you keep from…arriving early?" Tinker asked. "Whenever I grind…Cinco de Mayo," he said sadly, holding out his hands.

Ralph exchanged a "he's pathetic" look with Derek, and said, "It's not a problem for me, dude."

Derek high-fived him, and Ralph tried really, really hard to push certain thoughts from his mind.

Because it _was_ a problem. A big one. Someone had once told him that to keep from erupting too early, it was a good idea to think of dead kittens, stuff like that. But the only image that worked for Ralph happened the day his grandmother took him out to practice for his driver's permit.

He had just finished saying how fun driving was, when out of nowhere a mailman came crashing into his windshield. His grandma screamed bloody murder as the mailman rolled off the hood of the car and thudded onto the asphalt. Ralph could still hear the screaming. And feel his thumping heartbeat. It had been the worst moment of his life.

~L~

Once the girls and the guys came together for the second half of the meeting, Sally instructed, "Let's pair up for the immaculate affection." She held up a white balloon.

Each couple had a balloon, and Casey held hers by her side, utterly miserable. Tinker Tomlin had immediately taken to her the moment he'd entered the room, and they'd partnered up. He was cute enough, but the way he was practically panting as he stared at her made her very, very uncomfortable.

Know what else made her uncomfortable? She looked over at Derek and Kendra. Derek immediately glued his eyes to the ground when he sensed her watching. They had not acknowledged each other in school for a few days, and Casey hadn't been slushied since that double-shot. She'd been to his house again, though, to pick up her sister. Lizzie had bonded nicely with Derek's brother, a fact that made Casey sick to her stomach. She hoped their parents didn't expect her and Derek to bond that way. How could they? He wouldn't even look at her. She assumed she was as repulsive to him as he was to her.

Oh yes, there was one more aspect of this meeting that made her want to claw her own eyes out. She would have to watch Ralph and Sally acting like a couple. Ms. Zeldin's advice about taking an interest in Ralph's hobbies had been a very, very bad idea.

"If the balloon pops, the noise makes the angels cry," Kendra reminded everyone.

Casey placed the balloon at her waist and Tinker pressed against it. He put his hands on her shoulders, and she tried to muster up a friendly smile, but couldn't get rid of her pout. She was all for waiting for love, but this was torture. She wanted so badly to pop that balloon between Sally and Ralph, push her to the ground, and jump into Ralph's arms.

"You enchant me," Tinker told her.

Ah, she did have a gag reflex after all.

A squeaking noise from Derek's side of the room made Casey look up. Derek was teasing Kendra with his balloon, grinding with it.

"Take it, come on, take it," he said with a smirk.

Kendra smacked him on the shoulder. "Stop it!" But she was smiling.

Of course, the balloon popped, and Kendra yelped.

Another pop came from across the room, and Ralph looked down, aghast. "It must have hit my zipper!" he explained, panicked. Sally glared at him. Kendra glared at Derek. Derek caught Casey's disapproving stare and glared at her.

Casey couldn't take it anymore. She pushed away from Tinker and let the balloon between them fall. "You know what? This is a joke!"

Ralph looked at her, eyes wide.

That gave her the courage to press on. "Did you know that most studies have demonstrated that celibacy doesn't work in high schools? Our hormones are driving us too crazy too abstain."

Derek was looking at her in surprise. Ralph had a smile playing at the corner of his lips. Sally was about to kick her out, but she was sort of interested in what Casey had to say, too.

"The second that we start telling ourselves there's no room for compromise, we act out. The only way to deal with teen sexuality is to be prepared. That's what contraception is for."

Sally had had enough. "Don't you dare mention the c-word!"

Casey looked directly at Ralph, hoping he'd get the message. "You want to know a dirty little secret that none of them want you to know? Girls want sex just as much as guys do."

Ralph's mouth dropped open. That girl was something else. He watched her storm out, head held high.

Derek scratched the back of his head. That was the hottest thing he'd ever heard come out of a girl's mouth. Why did it have to be stupid keener Casey? He glanced at Ralph, who was still enraptured by Casey's outburst. Derek groaned and put his head in his hands.

"Is that accurate?" Tinker asked. No one answered him.

~L~

"What are you doing?" Paul asked Kathy as he stopped by her office for a visit after school. He tended to delay going home these days. He and his wife were going through a rough patch. At least that's what he told himself.

"Nothing…" Kathy smiled sheepishly. "I'm a bit of a neat freak."

Paul watched as she scrubbed feverishly at her blackboard eraser with a toothbrush. "No kidding!"

"It's just…" she paused, not willing to go into an explanation if Paul didn't want to hear it.

"Please, tell me," he said, leaning against the wall next to her.

"When I was a little girl, it was my dream to be a dairy farmer."

Paul chuckled good-naturedly.

"When I was eight, we finally visited one, and went on the tour, and did the yogurt tasting. When the tour was over, my brother pushed me into the runoff lagoon, and ever since then I've, uh, had a little trouble forgetting the smell."

"Aw, Kath, that's terrible."

"It's okay, though. I just take lots of showers, and I don't eat dairy."

Paul shrugged. "Whatever works." He brushed his finger along the blackboard ledge, picking up quite a bit of chalk dust on his index finger. "But I want to try a little experiment."

Kathy dropped her eraser and backed away. "Oh, no. I'm not really comfortable…"

Paul touched the tip of his finger to her nose. Her eyes crossed trying to watch him do it. He removed his finger from her face and stared at her. She stared back, speechless.

He slowly moved his forearm into her line of vision and wiped her nose clean of the chalk dust. "There," he said softly. "Ten seconds."

"New record," she breathed. Her heart was screaming "Kiss him now!" but her head was reminding her that he was very, very married.

From the way Paul was looking at her, though, that wedding ring on his finger was the last thing on his mind.

"I-I should get going," Kathy stuttered.

Paul snapped out of his trance. He wasn't sure what had just happened there, but he kind of liked it. "Oh. Yeah. I'll go. Have a good night, Kathy."

"You too."

He left her office, and she gingerly picked up her eraser. She would have to start all over with the scrubbing, since it had touched the floor.

~L~

"I officially call this meeting of glee club in session."

Noel perked up at Casey's pronouncement, confused. "But Paul's not here."

"Paul isn't coming. I paid a freshman to ask for some help creating a website."

"Sneaky, Case." Ralph was impressed.

She shot him a smile.

Emily lolled her head back and groaned. "I am so sick of you taking charge of everything, McDonald."

Sheldon, who was sitting next to her, patted her knee. "Let Casey talk."

Emily shrugged, and made a motion for Casey to continue.

"I have another idea for the assembly."

Everyone started paying attention after that announcement.

Noel raised a hand. "May I once again stress my most strenuous objections to this attempted suicide?"

"They're _not_ going to kill us, because we're going to give them what they want."

"Blood?" Sam asked, only half joking.

"Better." She looked at Ralph again. "Sex."

~L~

When Principal Lassiter announced the glee club at the assembly, Kathy was the only one who clapped.

Paul introduced New Directions, heart pounding. This would make them or break them. "When I went to school here, glee club ruled this place. Well, we're on our way back. But we need some recruits to join the party. Now, I could tell you all about how great glee is, but I think I'm going to let some friends of mine show you instead." He moved aside to a smattering of applause (after all, people did like Paul), and the curtain opened.

Clad in electric blue shirts and tight denim bottoms, New Directions held their suggestive positions as the music started.

They had chosen Salt-N-Pepa's "Push It," unbeknownst to Paul.

"Get up on this!" they cried. And with that, the dancing began.

Among the "Ooh, baby, baby"s and "Get up on this"s was lots of gyrating, dry humping, rubbing, slapping, and other sexual simulation that would have given Ralph's grandma a heart attack.

He felt a little guilty dancing like that with Casey when he knew Sally was in the audience. But it was show business. And boy was it fun!

Paul watched the entire performance peeking out from behind his hands.

Kathy, to her credit, acted like it was the best show she'd ever seen, all the while cringing inside on behalf of Paul. But she had to admit, they were good.

Sally was horrified. She clutched Kendra's hand so hard, Kendra hissed, "Watch it, hun, you're breaking my fingers!"

Derek pretended he was bored. But inside, his blood was boiling. He couldn't quite admit to himself that it was possible to be that turned on. Did Casey's skirt have to be _so_ short? Did she have to mime doing _that_ to Ralph?

When the song ended, there was dead silence in the auditorium. New Directions held their final poses, breathing heavily and waiting, dreading, the reaction.

Suddenly, Tinker jumped up and cried, "Yes!"

With that, the entire population of McKinley burst into thunderous applause.

Ralph was so relieved he pulled Casey into a hug. It wasn't that hard to do; their final pose had them plastered together from knee to chest.

Paul looked up, refusing to believe that what had just transpired wasn't a dream. But it was real; Kathy was throwing her arms around him. "They were fantastic!" she squealed. And she meant it.

Ryan watched the celebration in disgust. These losers were not going to trample all over everything he'd worked for at that school. It was not an option. He resolved to work even harder to bring down that dumb brick Ralph and the perky new girl.

~L~

Of course, Paul was called to Principal Lassiter's office the next school day.

His stomach dropped when he saw that Ryan was leaning against the wall when he arrived.

He took a seat across from Lassiter, who just shook his head.

"Let me be the one to break the silence," Ryan spoke up. "That was the most offensive thing I've seen in all my years at this school."

Paul made a face. _Oh, please_. Could he be more pretentious?

"We received a number of angry emails," Lassiter agreed, "from a number of concerned parents. What were you thinking, Paul?"

"I really don't know what to say." Maybe if Ryan weren't there, he'd find his voice, but at this point, it would be useless to speak.

"Then let me help you out," Ryan said smugly. "My first thought is that the glee kids should be put into foster care. But I think you're the one who needs to be punished. I demand your resignation from this school, as well as the disbanding of glee club."

"What makes you think you have the right—" Paul bellowed. He didn't get very far. Lassiter actually came to his rescue, for once.

"Hold on a minute. The issue is content. Those kids are talented. I haven't seen the student body this excited since The Cranberries performed at the North Hills Mall." He handed Paul a sheet of paper. "I took the liberty of calling my pastor to provide a list of family-friendly songs that reflect our community's values. Your kids can only perform these pre-approved musical selections."

Paul glanced at the list. "But all of these songs have either Jesus or balloons in the title."

"There are also songs about the circus," Lassiter said, as if that made it better. "This egg is sunny side up, Paul! Oh, and you need new outfits. I got several flashes of _panty_ from your group today and I'm not talking about the girls."

He turned to Ryan, who was smiling from ear to ear. "So Ryan, I'm cutting your dry cleaning budget to buy new costumes for the glee club."

Ryan's smile evaporated and his eyes narrowed. "This will not stand!"

"Oh, Ryan, the dry cleaners here are just as good as the ones in Europe," Lassiter assured him.

Ryan stamped his foot. Paul laughed.

Lassiter dismissed them both, and Paul took his time, letting Ryan go ahead of him. He was proud of glee for trying to help. He appreciated what they had tried to do. But that didn't mean he could let them get away with anything like that again. He couldn't take the chance. Despite the new costume budget, he knew it would be a miracle if glee survived.

~L~

Casey was pacing the hallway. Ryan stormed by and she got out of his way immediately. She understood completely why Paul was afraid of him.

Ryan spotted her and made a motion from his eyes to hers that said, "I'm watching you." Casey flinched, and Ryan smirked as he walked past. It wasn't like Derek's smirk. His was playful. Ryan's was pure evil. She had a feeling that if _he_ started slushie-ing her, she'd end up in the hospital.

Once he was gone, Paul came around the corner.

Casey was quick to try and make amends. "I'm so sorry, really, Paul."

"Do you understand what you did today? You lied to me! And you ruined our chances! No parent in their right mind would let their kid join glee now." He handed her the song list. "Oh, and here are the songs we're allowed to sing."

"What's a 'luft balloon'?" she asked, reading the paper.

"Look, I understand you care about glee club, and why you did what you did. But I don't like the way you did it." He smiled sadly at her.

"I'm sorry," she said again, trying not to cry.

~L~

Casey was miserable for the rest of the day. So when Ralph asked her if she wanted to help him with his singing after school, she accepted. Her mood brightened instantly.

She coached him on his scales, and he seemed to be steadily improving.

"Can we take a break?" he asked after awhile. "Singing kind of makes me hungry."

She had learned that everything made Ralph hungry, but she was happy for the chance to just hang out with him, like friends.

"Sure. Luckily, I was prepared for that." She motioned to the blanket she had spread out on the auditorium stage, complete with a few fluffy pillows and a picnic basket.

"Wow, I was wondering what that was!"

"You want to sit?" She was trying to keep her crush at bay, she really was. But he was so darn cute.

Ralph nodded enthusiastically.

She told herself that hey, he was here, so that must mean something. He had chosen her over Sally today. "So why did you ask for my help? You did great at the assembly."

"Well, this is my only chance to be good, you know, like you."

Casey blushed. "You think I'm good?"

"Well, yeah. At first, I thought you were kind of insane. Everyone else is a little scared of you, but the first time I heard you sing…"

Casey looked at him expectantly. The room had started to go a little fuzzy. She was not used to this kind of attention, and it felt good.

"…it touched something in me." He put a hand on his chest. "Right here."

Casey giggled. "Your heart's on the other side of your chest." She moved his hand to the left, and kept her hand on top of his.

"Oh." He looked down at their hands and then up at her. "It's beating really hard."

She could tell. Hers was, too. "Do you want a drink?" she asked, backing away.

He nodded. "That stuff you said at the Celibacy Club…that was really cool."

Casey shifted. "Thanks." She handed him his drink and took a sip of her own.

"You have a little on your…" Ralph wiped her upper lip with his thumb.

Casey decided that was the sign she'd been looking for. It was time to forget everything else and go for it, consequences be damned. She _deserved_ this. "You know, you can kiss me if you want to."

Ralph swallowed hard. He stared into Casey's eyes, seeing only kindness there. It may not have been a good idea, but he wasn't exactly known for his brains. So he said, "I want to."

Casey leaned back against a pillow as Ralph slowly moved toward her. He placed his hands on either side of her on the blanket and kept space between their bodies, not trusting himself to touch her. But when she leaned all the way back against the pillow, he moved on top of her, closing the distance between them with his hand on her waist. She gave him a little nod, so he moved in, pressing his lips to hers. She kept her mouth closed, so he did too.

Casey opened her eyes to look at him kissing her. Her heart continued to pound, and she could feel Ralph's as well. She kissed back. It was…nice. Just as she decided she wanted to try opening her mouth a little, Ralph pulled away. She panicked, thinking he didn't like it.

But a millisecond later his lips were on hers again, nose brushing her cheek as he moved his lips against hers.

All too soon, Ralph felt the familiar tingle that usually meant it was time to stop making out with Sally. But he wasn't with Sally right now. Oh, God, why did he just think of Sally? Casey! He was with Casey. Her lips were a million times softer. He let himself keep kissing her, which turned out to be a mistake. Heat became concentrated in one particular area and he broke the kiss with a strangled cry. Images of that fateful day in the car with his grandma flashed through his mind, and it helped alleviate some of the tension.

He stood abruptly, but stayed hunched over until the moment passed.

"Did I do something wrong?" Casey asked, worried. What had just happened?

"No!" He tried to keep his voice level. "Look, I just gotta go. Please don't tell anybody about this." That was what he got for cheating on his girlfriend. Casey was a good girl. He was sure she wouldn't spread this around. But if anyone found out…he didn't even want to think about Sally's wrath. He grabbed his backpack and made a run for it.

Casey sat all the way up, folding her legs under her. She could understand why he left. But she wanted to know how he felt about what they had done. It was obvious he regretted it, but did he at least enjoy it?

She sure had. But she had done the one thing she promised herself she wouldn't. She was the Other Woman. She had just humiliated herself in front of Ralph, and completely betrayed everything she stood for. It could never, ever happen again.

But of course, she really, really wanted it to.

~L~

"I have to say, I'm surprised you guys are trying out," Paul told Sally, Kendra, and their friend Amy Gardiner, a bubbly Cheerio.

"I'm sure you've read in the school paper that Ralph and I have been an item for awhile now. So what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't support him?" Sally answered sweetly.

Paul shrugged. He knew what this was about. She saw the sparks between Ralph and Casey and wanted to keep an eye on her man. In all honesty, he didn't blame her. And he definitely needed members for glee. "Well, let's see what you've got."

They had choreographed a cute little dance to go along with their song.

"Say a little prayer for you…" Kendra and Amy began. They were solid backup singers.

Sally took the lead. "The moment I wake up, before I put on my makeup…" Not a powerhouse voice by any stretch of the imagination. But, Paul realized, she was much better than he thought she'd be.

They finished the song and he had to admit, they were good.

~L~

Amy led the way to Ryan's office. She quickly explained the situation, and stood back as his face got redder and redder. He finally controlled his rage enough to speak. "Let me get this straight. You're actually _joining _glee club?"

Sally nodded. "I'm sorry Ryan, but something is going on between my Ralph and that _thing_. You saw how it was undressing him with its eyes at the assembly!"

"So why do you need Amy?"

Kendra rolled her eyes. "If just Sally joins, it'll look suspicious. Duh."

Ryan shot a death glare at her but she barely blinked. He turned to Amy. "Fine, but I want Kendra and Sally to join my squad so that you can be my spies. I need insiders telling me what's going on. We're going to bring this club down from within."

The girls high-fived. "And I'm going to get my boyfriend back," Sally said happily.

"Yeah, I don't care so much about that," Ryan replied harshly. "Just report to me after the first rehearsal."

The girls left. Ryan wondered if he could get some of his fellow football players to join to help weaken glee's infrastructure, but decided he wouldn't subject any of his teammates to that particular torture.

~L~

"You're giving Sally the solo?" Casey knew she had disappointed Paul, but that just wasn't _fair_. "That's _my_ solo."

"This isn't a punishment, Case. Sally's audition song was on Principal Lassiter's approved list, and she did a great job singing it."

"_I_ do a great job!"

"Casey, contrary to your beliefs, it's not all about you." Casey pouted. "Or me," he continued. "Look, we're both responsible for what happened at that assembly. I shouldn't have pushed disco so hard. I've decided to change my mindset. I need to remember that glee is about having _fun_. You need to do the same. You're not always going to be the star."

That hurt. And to lose her spotlight to Sally, of all people. "Don't you know me at _all_?"

Paul gave her a sympathetic smile. "All I can promise is that I'll do my best to make sure you're always having fun. This is a good thing, Case. We're on our way!"

Casey sighed. Paul was packing up to leave his classroom for the day. "Can I use the auditorium to practice?"

"Sure. See you tomorrow, Casey."

~L~

She stood on the stage, pretending to look out at a full house. She decided to sing a song that matched her mood. "Take a Bow" was the first that came to her mind.

"You look so dumb right now, standing outside my house. Trying to apologize, you're so ugly when you cry…" she gave herself over to the music, feeling every note. "Please, just cut it out."

She wasn't sure where it had all gone so wrong. For a moment, she had the respect of the school, the thrill of performance, Ralph's kisses. But now she had nothing.

"That was quite a show, very entertaining. But it's over now…"

Derek stopped by the auditorium. He thought maybe glee would be practicing and wanted to spy, but instead it was just Casey. That was even better. Now he wouldn't have to watch her falling more in love with Ralph.

Something wasn't right. She was singing, but she looked miserable. He had a strange urge to run up onto the stage and take her in his arms, but of course that was ridiculous. He moved as far out into the auditorium as he could while still staying in the shadows.

"Go on and take a bow..." She was crying now, big fat tears dripping down her cheeks. She wiped them away without missing a beat.

Derek shook his head. He wanted to laugh at her; after all, it was just a song. But he knew she was upset about something, and singing was her favorite way to express herself.

Or, you know, that's what his dad had told him about her. Not that he'd asked or anything.

"But it's over now…"

Derek slipped out of the auditorium, shutting the door silently behind him.


	3. Acafellas

"Five, six, seven, eight," Paul called out to his students as the piano man, affectionately nicknamed 'Tinkles', hammered out some generic notes while the glee kids followed Paul's feet helplessly, imitating him sloppily. "Step and step, step and step, and turn around and hit, hit, and up and down!"

Casey sighed as she half-heartedly learned the dance, rolling her eyes slightly at her clearly choreographically challenged glee club teacher. The girl decided that she would take no more of the nonsense and asked, "Can we stop please?!"

"You don't have to ask for permission every time you have to go to the bathroom, Casey," Paul insisted, "You can just go."

"It's not my bladder," Casey corrected, eyes locking with the floor as Paul turned to look at her questioningly. "It's the choreography…"

"Okay," Paul began, feeling slightly offended but keeping his mind open to criticism. "What's wrong with the choreography?" 

Casey recalled earlier that day, walking down the hall when suddenly, two girls in red and white cheerleader outfits were standing in front of her, two girls she was frustrated to have to say were in glee. They had jumped straight to the point without so much as formalities, telling her that Paul's choreography "sucked", and that it was "completely unoriginal". She had tried to shrug them off; telling Sally and Kendra that they would be shunned for talking to her, but Sally shoved right back, telling her that they were a _team_.

"We can't compete with Vocal Adrenaline with _these _steps," Casey explained tentatively, and she passed a quick glance at Sally, who nodded in approval of her outburst. "You're a great vocal coach, Paul, but you're not a… trained choreographer. That's what we need to be the best!"

Casey turned to look at the group of teenagers behind her briefly, "We need Dakota Stanley," she said confidently, thinking back on what Sally and Kendra had told her as they walked through the school halls that day, and she reiterated everything back to her fellow glee clubbers. "He's the best show choir chorographer in the mid-west, he works with Vocal Adrenaline… you can't take regionals without him. He was the understudy to the Candelabra in Beauty and the Beast on Broadway!"

"Just because he understudied doesn't mean he ever performed," Paul countered, feeling a little vulnerable faced with the idea of being half-way _replaced_ – and by the hand of his own students, too.

"Did _you _ever perform, Paul?" Sally asked with a slight giggle in her voice as she stepped forward. Casey cast her gaze downward, losing her confidence and feeling guilty - she hadn't meant to present a situation which could hurt him. "After High School… did you even try?"

~L~

Paul found himself in Kathy's office, pacing back and forth as he retold the events that unfolded in rehearsal that day. "I wanted to, that was my dream, you know," he explained, and Kathy listened attentively. "I just never had-"

"The guts?" Kathy offered as she used a small, yellow rag to clean the rubber tree plant in her office that she noticed had gotten a little dusty. "They say it takes more certainty than talent to be star. I mean, look at John Stamos."

"I don't know," Paul sighed, sitting down in one of two blue chairs in Kathy's office. "I hope its cool, me unloading on you like this. I don't want there to be any awkwardness."

Kathy set down her yellow rag and looked at well, shaking her head. "Oh, no, no not at all," she smiled. "You can always come talk to me, Paul."

The two shared a smile, and Paul thanked her before excusing himself. Kathy watched him leave, and then stared at the space he was just in, allowing her mind to drift… but then she shook herself back into reality, resuming the cleaning of her little rubber tree plant. She shouldn't, couldn't and wouldn't start an affair with a married man; she had far better standards than that.

So, how come she was willing her morals to suddenly disappear?

~L~

The following day, Paul was caught off-guard in the teacher's lounge when, after he poured himself a cup of coffee, he saw a certain teacher who had been fired after some bizarre claims about him and a student… a male student. "Sandy," Paul spluttered, "I thought you weren't allowed on campus."

The blonde, middle-aged teacher was seated at the table, filing away at his seemingly perfect, manicured fingernails. "No, Paul, I'm not allowed within fifty feet of _children__,_" he specified hotly. "Besides, me and Henri go _way _back, I got him a job before we even had a shop class. I told Lassiter that you are going to have a school full of Nancy's unless you get some hot wood in those teenagers' hands."

Paul contorted his face, but shook his head, because _maybe _he just read way too much into the statement… right? The hockey coach, Ken Tenaka, walked up to Paul when he saw someone walk into line of the small window in the door to the teacher's lounge. "Here comes Henri," he said.

"Aw, shoot," Paul said quietly, remembering that his wife told him she went to Publix to have a cake made. "Terri was supposed to bring a cake."

A tired, scruffy, brown-haired thirty-year-old walked into the room, holding up two thumbless, casted hands. "I'm back."

Henri, the woodshop teacher, had a little problem with over the counter cough medicine; some may even say he was slightly addicted. When he was preparing for a class one day, he had the saw running to arrange a project for his students, and let's just say that Henri had sipped a little too much Delsym. He nearly dosed off despite _standing_, and he ended up cutting off his thumbs. It was a real tragedy.

Henri sat down at the table, taking a gulp of coffee with much struggle, "I'll never hitchhike across Europe," he said, looking at Paul as he walked right on the edge of tears. "That was a dream, man."

Paul smiled in empathy, and a familiar face walked into the lounge carrying a cake. Paul recognized him as an employee named Howard from where his wife worked at a local Linen-n-Things, "Where's Terri?" he asked.

"Doing inventory," Howard replied softly. "I can't count higher than thirty." He set down the cake in his hands in front of Henri, which featured two giant hands in the infamous shape of a 'thumbs up', made entirely out of icing. Howard placed a hand on Henri's shoulder when he gapped at the cake, and when they all served up some slices, Henri found that he could no longer use one of the simplest of all hand-held things; a fork. He then decided to solve the problem by picking up his plate eating one of the giant thumbs, winding up with icing all over his face and odd looks in his direction.

"You know, this is nice," Paul evaded the awkward situation, folding his arms back behind his head. "I can't even remember the last time I just hung out with the guys. Really... talked about our feelings."

"You know what I'm feeling?" Ken began angrily. "I live at YMCA, I only have one pair of long pants-"

"Oh, please! My life is a disaster! With no creative outlet," Sandy said, visibly upset as he slouched back into his chair. "Other than writing my Desperate Housewives fanfiction."

"I'm afraid of my vacuum," Howard deadpanned, and he silently noted… _So is my cat._

"I know how you guys feel," said Paul, recalling what had happened in rehearsal the previous day. "I apparently don't know how to dance."

"I don't have thumbs," Henri said, leaning his head against his thumbless hand, and Paul patted him comfortingly on the arm as he began to cry hopelessly into his casted hands. The other men sat in silence for a moment before Sandy chimed in with a soft singing of 'For He's a Jolly Good Fellow'. Everyone joined in on trying to make Henri feel at least a little bit better, all ending with a unison, "Which nobody can deny."

And then, suddenly, out of the depths of Paul's mind, he had an epiphany, and an idea was born… an idea that might give everyone something to do after school, an idea to fulfill the dream he was never able to finish after High School! "Hey, that was pretty good," he remarked, and his idea began.

~L~

Two weeks ago, Paul Greeby would've agreed with anyone who said that four grown men rehearsing acapella hip-hop, in _his _living room, was embarrassing. But busting out some of his old moves, singing with people who weren't, by default caused by hormones, emotionally disturbed minors, that didn't think his choreography was on par with that of a dancing chipmunk made him feel more confident than ever. Sandy had been conveniently uninvited, because he was the textbook definition of 'eerie', and he had pitched a fit when he found out about the group. A _group_, a _group _was considered, and they even began spit-balling name ideas!

"Crescendudes," Henri suggested, but his idea was ultimately shot down.

"Testostertones," Ken offered, but Paul shook his head.

But then, they heard a single word leave Howard's lips, and they knew they had a name... "Acafellas!"

~L~

Paul had missed _six _rehearsals in the past month, and Casey had a feeling like it had everything to do with her and what she said about his choreography. So, one night before school, Casey had spent the entire night making a batch of her much-loved sugar cookies that she spent hours perfecting when she was eleven and forcing Lizzie into being the taste tester. She even went through the trouble of making pink icing to ice the letters to spell 'I'm sorry' on each cookie. She truly felt awful about having insulting his dancing and choreography, because she couldn't help but think of how much she cried that time another girl in her ballet class insulted her **développé when she was ten years old**. She walked into Paul's office before rehearsals with the cookies arranged on a pink tray.

"They're my famous sugar cookies," Casey explained with a wide grin on her face. "I baked them for the poor during Christmas time, but I whipped up a special batch just for you... I wanted to say how sorry I was for what I said."

Paul glanced at Casey and scoffed slightly. "Don't be, you were right," he admitted. "You know, the truth is, Casey, if you weren't so hard on me, I would've never had the guts to start Acafellas."

"But we need you, Paul," Casey pleaded with him. "You've missed six rehearsals in the past couple of weeks and when you're there, you're not _really _there."

"Which is why I think you should hire Montana,"

"Dakota," Casey corrected.

"Right," Paul said indifferently, his brain entirely wrapped in a song idea he wanted to bring up to the guys later. "I'll still be there to help you guys sing and stuff, but, uh, I just don't have time for all of it anymore."

Casey's eyebrows stitched and she turned around, scurrying out of the office, embarrassed. She ran into rehearsals for glee where everyone sat, looking bored as Ralph tapped away experimentally at the piano. "He's not coming," she said.

"What happened?" Ralph questioned, and Casey explained what had just happened in Paul's office, setting the cookies down on the piano and crossing her arms.

"Of course he doesn't want anything to do with us after you kicked him in the nads!" Ralph exclaimed, standing up from the piano bench irately.

"Well, then why did he thank me?" Casey asked, and Ralph sighed exasperatedly. He didn't like the idea of Paul not being around – it felt like your parents getting a divorce and only being able to see one of your parents every other weekend.

"The goal is to win," Kendra reminded the others from her seat next to Amy and Sally. "And now that Mister Paul has agreed to let us hire Dakota Stanley, we can!"

"But he doesn't want us to," Ralph pressed, looking at her, "He just doesn't have the confidence to coach us anymore! Guys are real sensitive when it comes to this kind of stuff..."

"And that's _my _fault?!" Casey exclaimed, her jaw dropping.

"You see anyone else in here with a plate of 'I'm Sorry' cookies?" Ralph asked rhetorically. "I don't, just you."

Casey peered down at the pink and yellow cookies while her face fell, refusing to admit that he had a point, but refusing to claim that he didn't. In the corner, Sally stood up, "I'm bored," she claimed. "All those in favor of hiring Dakota Stanley?"

Sally raised her hand, and the rest of the club followed her… everyone except for Ralph, who looked back at Noel to see him slowly, just barely raising his hand. Everyone left rehearsal after the fact, and Casey made a show of leaving faster than everyone else; still mortified over what had happened. "Hey, wait up!" she heard Ralph call behind her. "You can't do this to Paul!"

"What? Make him a hero? Once we hire Dakota and win nationals, he'll thank me for it," Casey insisted, not making eye contact with Ralph as we walked next to her. "You heard Kendra, it's all about winning."

"Since when?"

"Look, you have your popular clique and your hockey and your cliché of a blonde girlfriend," Casey explained heatedly, her arms crossed tightly as she walked. "Glee is my one shot! If this doesn't work out, then my whole High School life will be nothing but an embarrassment."

Ralph internally tried to figure out what a cliché was… he thought he had heard his grandma use that word before, but he didn't ask her what it meant. "What's a cliché? Is that a bad thing?" He inquired, and then he placed a hand on Casey's shoulder stepped in front of her, keeping her from walking any farther. "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, is this a chick thing where you're pissed about one thing but you're pretending to be pissed about something else?"

"I don't know what you're talking about,"

"Well, for a while there, you were kind of all over me, and now you just yell at me all the time," Ralph explained, the expression on his face akin to that of a scared puppy, and it was hard to be mad at him when he looked _that _adorable. "It makes me think that you're still upset over what happened in the auditorium."

"I'm not," Casey began, a blush growing over her cheeks as she pushed past Ralph and walked a short distance down the hallway. "I've moved on and I'm focusing on my career now."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ralph asked, confused and exhausted. Girls were like a puzzle… not one of those small ones with the big pieces, either – they were the huge ones with the tiny pieces, and then you find out once you've finally completed most of it that one piece is missing, so you'll never have a shot of _truly _figuring it all out.

"No and neither do you," Casey said, turning around to face him as she walked back up to him confidently. "It's kind of ironic how you're Mister Popular and I'm just this nobody that everybody makes fun of, but I have enough confidence to say out loud that what happened between us in the auditorium was real. You have feelings for me, and you just don't have the guts to admit it."

Ralph stared at her. He wasn't going to lie, he was kind of awestruck and impressed, but she was still confusing.

"We're hiring Dakota Stanley," Casey announced firmly, and once again she turned to walk away.

"Even if it means me quitting?" Ralph challenged.

Casey paused and gulped, but she realized that she couldn't let her feelings for some unimportant high school boy with a _girlfriend _get in the way of her career. "Yes."

~L~

"It's a good start," Ryan began, jogging on his elliptical as he looked over at the cheerleaders in his office. "You're sewing the seeds of destruction."

"Paul barely even shows up for rehearsals," Kendra informed her coach with a satisfied grin

"Oh, no, no, no, will not cut it. I will not be satisfied until Glee club is disbanded," Ryan said with a cruel edge to his voice. "And what about this Dakota character? Any chance he actually helps?"

"They're soft, he'll eat them alive," Sally reassured her coach. "I give them fifteen minutes before one of them quits, or tries to commit suicide."

Ryan stepped off of his elliptical and put a towel around his neck, sitting down at his desk. "You've killed the Sheppard," he explained. "Now you need to go after the sheep. You need to go after these glee clubbers one by one."

Sally and Kendra nodded in compliance and obedience as Ryan continued. "I want my full budget restored," he spoke. "I need a fog machine."

~L~

Emily leaned against her locker as she watched one of many high school couples walk by - she saw Kendra breaking off a kiss with Derek, and then she saw two of several different gooey, sappy, mushy in puppy-love couples that scattered around the hallways.

Seeing Sheldon out of the corner of her eye, opening his own locker, she asked quietly, "Have you ever kissed anybody?"

"Yes, if by somebody you mean the tender crook of my elbow," he grinned, grabbing a few books from his locker. "No, I haven't... but I want to."

Sheldon spotted Emily looking directly at Derek as he leaned over her, kissing her again before Kendra waved goodbye and he walked away. "Okay, stop it right there," he chuckled, gaining Emily's attention. "Emily, _we _are in glee club, which means we are the bottom of the social heap. Special Ed kids will get more play than we will. The only knowledge that gets me by is that we are superior to all of them."

Sheldon grabbed Emily's arm and folded it around his, dragging her down the hallway and provoking a smile. "I gotta go to class," he said. "But meet me at lunch, okay?"

"Okay," Emily agreed kindly and looked after him as he walked away. He was a great friend; she hoped they could hang out in the future.

Emily walked down the hall and grinned after Sheldon… he was a good friend, and was always good for a laugh. Suddenly, she felt both of her arms being grabbed, other arms roping through them, and she looked to her sides to see Sally and Kendra.

"You should totally scoop that!" Sally smiled while Kendra played with Emily's curly hair.

"Sheldon?" Emily asked, appalled but amused. "Uh, no… no way."

"Why not?" Sally asked, tilting her head innocently. "He obviously likes you."

"I don't think so," Emily chuckled, but Sally politely disagreed, offering her help. "Thanks for the offer, but I'm not interested in him… really."

Emily shuffled away from the two awkwardly, smiling her goodbyes towards them.

~L~

Acafellas had their first note-worthy gig at a note-worthy restaurant that Friday. Paul, Ken, Henri and Howard took their places on the stage, and as the lights went on, that was their cue.

"Boys, yeah spot a man of freedom for a fact!" Paul called as the intro of the song began. "Poison! You ready Ken?"

"I'm ready,"

"You ready, Henri?" Paul asked, and he replied with, "I'm ready Paul, are you?"

"Girl, I must warn you," they harmonized, and the crowd had already begun to warm up to them. "I said something strange in my mind, the situation is,"

"Serious," everyone sang in unison, their choreography was a cute and it just _worked _with this very amused crowd. The song continued, each member of the group taking their turn in the spotlight in the song.

In the audience, Kathy smiled wildly as she watched their performance. She could tell – from a performer's point of view – that they had worked very hard on this.

"How do you know?" Henri sang, and the rest of the group replied with a loud,

"Me and the crew used to do her!"

And with that humorous end, laughter, whistling and applause all melted together as the group all grinned happily and a reporter even wrote a piece on them.

After the show, Principle Lassiter, who had shown up after hearing about their group from other teachers, approached the group back stage. "That was an amazing performance, Paul!" he praised. "Look, there's a PTA meeting next Thursday night, and I want the Acafellas to be the main event. I need the parents happy! They found out that we've been serving the children prison food."

"Absolutely!" Paul agreed after pulling a face, but passing it off. "We'll do it, thank you so much!"

~L~

"Well?" Ken encouraged as he looked over at Paul who sat at the table in the teacher's lounge, reading a review of their performance.

"Is it too soon to call Paul Greeby the next Michael Buble? The audience last Thursday at Benchwarmer Sports Bar didn't think so. And Ken Tenaka's smoky baritone was like a cool fog that sweeps over an ocean of emotional intensity. A big thumbs up to Henri Saint Pierre who proved that you don't need all ten fingers to pluck a lady's heartstrings like a well-tuned sexy harpsichord, only Howard," Paul broke off as he saw a rather negative review of Howard's performance. "Uh, sorry Howard, they didn't say anything about you." He lied, and Howard's shoulders slumped disappointedly.

"Buckle up, Ohio, are you ready for a new musical sensation? Well, you better be, because here come the Acafellas!"

Paul stood up from his chair and high-fived each of the members of his group,

A rather frustrated Sandy walked into the room – Sandy, whom had been confronted earlier that month with an agreement from the rest of the Acafellas that when he was in the group, it was creepy. "Oh, congratulations gentlemen… by the way, I want in."

Paul sighed and stood up, ready to decline again, but Sandy turned and pointed a finger in his face. "Stop right there, Paul! I've got two words for you," he began. "Josh Groban. He's coming to the PTA event."

"Who's Josh Groban?" Howard questioned quietly.

"Who's Josh Groban?" Sandy echoed with a horrified look in his eyes as he turned to Howard, sitting down across from him as he made no effort to hold back his rage. "Kill yourself! He is an angel sent from Heaven to deliver platinum record unto us, and if he were here right now, I would club you to death with his critic's choice award."

"Why would he come to our show?" Ken asked, ignoring Sandy's relatively alarming antics.

"Because I invited him," Sandy explained, standing up and leaning against the counters. "Josh and I have become frequent pen pals since he accidentally friended me on MySpace. And being my close, personal confidant, he is only interested if I'm in the group!"

Paul stood up to face him, because, really? He'd had enough of Sandy. He was weird, kind of creepy and stubborn, and nobody was comfortable when he was around. "No, Sandy," he declined. "We have standards."

"Okay, fine. But just so you know, there's a rumor on the blogs and all over twitter… they say he's looking for an opening act."

…Crap.

~L~

Sheldon had a good car. No, Sheldon had a _great _car. It was a black SUV and it was definitely over the top for _one _lone teenage boy to get to and from school every day, but it was Sheldon's baby. Needless to say, it was him that offered to drive everyone to go meet Dakota Stanley – everyone except Ralph.

"Damn, Sheldon," Emily began. "This car is fantastic."

"My dad got it for me for my sixteenth birthday when I promised to stop dancing in public," Sheldon explained, but questioning stares reminded him that he was in glee club. "On stage doesn't count."

The group began walking to the large school where the successful, infamous glee club Vocal Adrenaline sat on its oversized pedestal. It was hard to think that glee was cool and definitely not slushie-worthy somewhere.

"Are we even sure they're rehearsing today?" Sally asked, looking back at Casey, who had organized their little field trip.

"Vocal Adrenaline rehearses every day from two PM until midnight," Casey explained, looking towards Sam, who made a face. He couldn't imagine that… he didn't _want _to imagine that.

Emily grabbed Sheldon's arm, something that had become somewhat routine for the two as they had become very good friends, and whenever he saw her, his face lit up a little. She was one of the few who didn't ridicule him.

"I'm just so nervous these Vocal Adrenaline kids are gonna laugh at us," Emily said to him. "They're so cool and popular, and we look like we just stepped off the short bus."

"Those sweaty Nazis have just had more time to practice, we have more heart," Sheldon reassured her. "And you don't look touched in the head."

"Thanks," Emily laughed. "Good to know."

"So would you ever wanna," Sheldon began, trailing off nervously. "You know, hang out?"

Casey looked at the two as they walked together, eyeing them nervously. This could be potentially bad, she knew that Emily was hung up over Derek, and even though they weren't exactly friends, she didn't want to see Sheldon get hurt. Drama could shake up the glee club and ruin their chances of winning at sectionals.

"Yeah," Emily replied nonchalantly. "Come on over."

Casey let out a gasp as she saw a figure in a black leotard and leggings with a blue skirt over it, hunched over a trash can, clearly revisiting her breakfast while another girl in a matching outfit held her hair back. "Guys!" she said. "That's Andrea Cohen! She won Outstanding Soloist on Absolutely Dancetastic!"

"You can't leave rehearsal for any reason," she warned. "That includes heat exhaustion or Crohn's Disease!"

"Are you guys Vocal Adrenaline?" Casey asked excitedly, and the two girls looked up at her. "We'd like to talk to Dakota Stanley about choreographing for our Glee club!"

"Don't!" Andrea screeched through her exhaustion and tears. "He's a monster!"

~L~

The intro played while the members of Vocal Adrenaline danced, grace poured over their movements that continued throughout the number. "I love you," they all sang, their voices rattling against the walls. "But I gotta stay true!"

They sang the number well, and their dancing matched. A loud voice called from off-stage once the number was finished, "Get off my stage!"

As everyone left, McKinley High's glee club rushed to meet with Dakota Stanley outside, where he was already in his car, ready to drive away with your average, long-legged blonde in the passenger's seat. "Mister Stanley!" Casey called, running up to his car. "We're the McKinley High Glee Club!"

"No interviews," Dakota barked; he was short and had a serious case of the Napoleon Complex.

"We'd like you to choreograph for us!" Sam called after him.

"Look, my fee is eight-thousand dollars per number, plus a three-thousand dollar bonus if you place in the top three," Dakota said bluntly. "And with Dakota Stanley at the wheel, you will place top three. Move it."

Dakota floored the gas pedal and zoomed off down the street, leaving the glee kids in his wake. "How are we gonna make eight thousand dollars?" Casey questioned, and on the ride home, they all began to think of ideas.

~L~

Paul stood in the choir room with a frustrated Ken, who tried desperately to figure out the steps to their new routine, despite missing most of their group and being put on the spotlight by his teacher.

"That way, and kick out," Paul explained the moves. "Kick out, right behind you."

"Where is everybody?" Ken asked, visually frustrated.

"Sandy went to get Henri from Shop Class-," Paul began, but he was cut off by his phone ringing. He fished his cell phone out of his pocket and pressed 'talk'. "Oh, there's Howard. Hello?"

"I don't think I can be in the band anymore," Howard said sadly from the other end of the line.

"What?"

"It was never my dream…" Howard trailed off, and Paul heard the phone click. He closed his eyes and held the phone against his forehead, and wondered absent mindedly if he had seen the review in the paper for himself.

"Howard's out," Paul grumbled.

"What? Oh, well that's just great! What's he-" Paul prepared himself for one of Ken's rants, but, as if on cue, Kathy walked in the door behind him, and Paul had _never _been more thankful. "Hey, Kathy. You didn't uh, see me dancing earlier, did you?"

"Oh," Kathy began uninterestedly. "Is that what that was? Look, I have some bad news… I think the Acafellas pressure has proven to be too much for Henri."

"Really, why?" Paul asked.

"Well," Kathy started, "Well, he just downed six bottles of cough syrup... which is a lot, even for him. He's okay, Sandy's in the emergency room with him, but Lassiter is insisting that before he comes back, and can be around kids again, he goes to rehab. So, that's where he's going tomorrow."

"That's just great. So Acafellas is officially doomed, now," Ken said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You know, when I'm stressed out, I work out, you can probably tell, so uh... I'm gonna go down a couple power bars, knock off a few reps, come up with some solutions here."

Ken walked out of the choir room, and Paul nodded, appearing disappointed. He had more fun in Acafellas than he did in most of his post-high school life. "It was fun while it lasted…"

"I don't think you should give up so easy, Paul," Kathy said, looking at him encouragingly. "You know, they say Van Halen was dead after David Lee Ross quit, but my worn out single of 'Right Now' says that they were wrong."

Kathy turned to walk out of the room, but as she headed for the door, she turned to smile at him, and even though she didn't see it, he smiled back.

~L~

When in doubt, there's always Craigslist. "Love to sing and dance?" Paul typed on his Mac laptop, but he was interrupted by a knock on his already open door when Ralph walked into his office.

"You got a second, Paul?" He asked.

"Yeah, of course, what's up?" Paul said, turning away from his laptop to listen to his student.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm quitting glee, too," Ralph told him, a hand in the pocket of his jeans and his book bag slung over one shoulder, locking eyes with the floor nervously.

"I didn't quit glee," Paul defended himself.

"Well, you might as well have. It's nutty in there! I tried to talk sense into Casey, but she's gone all chick batty," Ralph explained. "And I gotta be honest, it's hard being on the hockey team, and when I get in the locker room, all the guys are calling me deep throat. It's bringing down my rep, man."

"Have the guts to stick with it a little bit longer," Paul advised, not having the energy to beg and plead, but not able to let him make a mistake. "You are a gifted performer, Ralph. You can't quit now, if you do, you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life. Trust me, I know."

"It's just not fun anymore," Ralph said, looking at the ground and shuffling his feet before he began to walk out of his office.

And then, Paul glanced back at his computer and the half-typed ad on the screen, then back at Ralph. "Hey, Ralph, wait! I have something I wanna talk to you about."

~L~

"Hey, coach," Derek walked up to Ken with a towel tossed around his neck and shoulders.

"What do you want, Venturi?" Ken asked roughly.

"I heard there's a vacancy in your acapella group, I wanna offer my services," Derek removed the towel from his neck and tossed it on the floor. "I play guitar, and actually, I'm a really good singer. There are a lot of moms at your shows, right?"

The thing about Derek is that he's not like everybody else in what he calls "this crappy cow-town"; he insists that he has star potential, and it's a possibility that he's right. More specifically, he's tired of wasting his time with high school girls. Kendra had broken up with him a few days ago because his credit score wasn't good enough for her. _That's_ why he started a pool cleaning business. Pool cleaning is simple, even your everyday, below-average IQ five year old can clean a pool. And the unemployed, romance-deprived cougars that came along with the job? Nothing to complain about. And even though he would never admit it, he was kind of curious to see what Casey was so up in arms about with dancing around on stage and singing. Maybe she was onto something, and if she wasn't? He had full rights to make fun of her for her glee clubbing ways.

"When do we start rehearsals?" Derek asked tonelessly without so much as a nod from his coach. Ken grabbed Derek by the shirt, but he remained calm.

"Now you listen to me you little psychopath!" Ken yelled and Derek stared at him blankly. "My love life is hanging by a thread and that thread is Acafellas! It drives my girlfriend nuts in the pants! So if you screw this up for me, I swear, I will stick my fist so far down your throat that you will taste my armpit hairs! Do I make myself clear?"

Derek nodded nonchalantly.

"Good! We rehearse Tuesdays and Thursdays at eight. Don't be late."

~L~

Dancing is a difficult task for your average jock of a teenage boy. So, while Paul played a few notes on an acoustic guitar and taught Ralph and Derek the steps they needed to know for Acafellas, he felt like he was watching two uptight grandmothers, especially when Ralph ran into Derek, who, in return, shoved him into wires that he tripped over. "Dude," Derek laughed. "My _bowels _have better moves than you."

"Guys, stop. You guys got the steps down, you just need to relax," Paul explained. "Um, you guys play baseball, right? What does your coach tell you about hitting?"

"You charge the pitcher," Derek said. "Bring the bat." 

"Okay, um... but I'm sure he also tells you to relax, right? 'Cause hitting is all about the hips! Alright? Gotta loosen 'em up, alright, just swing that bat," Paul set the guitar down and tried to use his experience as a guidance counselor and put all those metaphors to use. "Pretend we're Acafellas at Madison Square Garden! There we are, all those beautiful ladies out there, swing that big old bat, bam!"

The boys laughed, but willingly played along, miming the action of swinging a bat.

"Hit some home runs, alright guys?" Paul chuckled. "Let's try it from the top. Let's go. Five six seven eight!"

The two were getting better, now not as nervous as they were before, and certainly not as stiff. It wasn't amazing yet, but it was a good start. "Good!" Paul cheered, high-fiving his students.

"That baseball thing sure was good, Paul." Ralph grinned at his teacher.

"Totally." Derek agreed. Maybe this whole showy dance thing wasn't so bad.

~L~

Maybe the cheerleaders in bikini tops and their cheerleading skirts was an intentional magnet for guys with dirty cars… maybe it wasn't. The world may never know.

"You know what, Ryan, I gotta say, I really misjudged you," Kathy said as she stood next to Ryan at the car wash. "Getting the Cheerios to help out with the Glee club choreographer fund raiser is one of the nicest things I've ever seen."

"Well, Kate, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this Glee club successful," Ryan said, and Kathy ignored the fact that her name was _not _Kate - certain people do not deserve to be argued with. 

"Oh, I'm excited! I love a car wash," Kathy smiled as she watched the kids. "You know, when I was little, if I got all A's, my dad would let me wash his car, so I'd get my little tooth brush out and wash the car all weekend."

"You know, the way you use your mental illness to help these kids is really inspiring," the seventeen year old said without making eye contact. "And I'm shocked you're not married!"

Kathy looked around, because she never knew quite what to say around some people… especially people like this.

"Your rims are clean," Sheldon said, already tired from the excess cleaning. "We've polished them, like, three times already."

"Well, we polished your _baby_ about five times," Emily laughed, rolling her eyes at him. "You owe me. Did you bring a change of clothes, by the way? Because we're going straight to that restaurant after this, and I don't wanna show up in suds."

"So, listen Em, this is like the third time we've gone out," Sheldon began light heartedly. "Can we just make it official?"

"Make what official?" 

"You know," Sheldon hinted. "That we're dating."

Emily looked up at him and her shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry, Sheldon," she began slowly. "But I thought I was pretty clear… I'm in love with someone else." Her vision focused past Sheldon, and he turned to see Derek whom had heard about the car wash and showed up to try to patch things up with Kendra, and they were now arguing.

"Derek?" Sheldon asked, his voice slow and sounding hurt.

"Yes, for several years now…"

Sheldon stared at Emily for a few moments with his mouth agape before grabbing a rock from the ground and throwing it at her car, busting the windshield. "You bust my window," Emily gasped in disbelief. "How could you do that? You busted my window!"

Sheldon huffed, partially because he was furious and partially because he had never been more ashamed and embarrassed. He bolted for his own car that was parked nearby and hopped in; shoving the keys in and hearing the engine turn over. He pulled out of the parking lot and zoomed down the road, while the song on the radio sang, "I bust the windows out your car…"

~L~

Dakota Stanley handed out pieces of paper to each of the glee kids. "Okay, please examine your personalized menus," he explained as the kids peered over the lists. "This is what you're going to be eating for the next six months."

"Um," Emily began, looking over at Dakota. "Mine just says 'coffee'."

"Mmhm," Dakota confirmed that it wasn't a mistake.

"What's smelt?" Casey asked, disgusted. If it tasted as bad as it sounded, she would _not _be eating it.

"It's a pungent, low-carb, fresh water fish! Okay, let's start today's business," Dakota said. "Noel, you're cut, you're not trying hard enough."

"What?"

"You can't dance," Dakota explained. "Not my fault." 

"So, you're kicking him out?!" Emily exclaimed.

"Uh-huh," He assured. "And you've gotta go too, Effy. No, no, no!"

Emily's jaw dropped and her eyes grew wide as she stared at the man in shock and offence.

"You can't kick people out of glee just because you don't like the way they look," Sheldon hissed, his voice sounding appalled.

"Why don't you shut your face?" Dakota asked, arching an eyebrow. He walked over to Sally, Kendra and Amy. "You three, you're great, don't change a thing."

The three smiled and Dakota moved on to Casey. "You?" he began, and then he looked her up and down, then looking at her face. "Ew, nose job."

"Now, hold on just a second," Ralph said, but before he could continue, Dakota interrupted.

"What was that, Frankenteen?" He asked, cupping a hand around his ear. "Why don't you wipe that dopey look of your face and get some lotion for those knuckles you've been dragging on the ground?"

"What's wrong with you?" Ralph asked, his eyebrows stitched. He was pretty sure his grandma told him that you don't talk to people like that.

"What's wrong with me?! What's wrong with me is that you're freakishly tall," Dakota exclaimed. "I feel like a woodland creature!"

The argument over if Ralph was freakishly tall or if Dakota was freakishly short remained only a thought in fear of being lynched by said self-admitted woodland creature.

Casey peered over at Ralph worriedly as Dakota started speaking again. "Am I hurting your feelings? Did I say something wrong?" He asked, with absolutely no compassion in his voice. "Because I thought you wanted somebody who respected you enough to tell you the truth. But, maybe you don't have the confidence to hear it. Hmm? Maybe you need somebody who's going to lie to you, and tell you things like, 'you got what it takes'. But, you know what, as far as I can see, you don't! So, why don't you just take a little second, take a breather, and ask yourself... do I wanna be a winner, or not?"

"Screw this," Ralph said. "I quit."

"Me too!" Sam agreed

"Let's roll, Noel," Emily joined as Noel followed behind her.

"No, that's great, you know, separate the wheat from the chaff," Dakota said, shrugging. "That's perfect!"

"Wait!" Casey called after the crowd that was headed towards the door. They turned to face her. "Barbra Streisand. When Barbra was a young ingénue everyone told her in order to be a star, she'd have to get a nose job. Thankfully, she refused."

"Where's this going, Yentil?" Dakota asked, rolling his eyes impatiently, because he really didn't see this big-nosed teenager's point.

"Where its going is that," she spared a glance at Ralph. "We don't need you. Let's face it, we're never gonna be as good of dancers as Vocal Adrenaline. We're gonna win because... we're different. And that's what makes us special."

"They told J-Lo her booty was too big," Emily countered towards Dakota, looking at him challengingly.

"Jim Abbott," Ralph started, and Dakota looked at him incredulously. "He was a one-armed pitcher for the Yankees... pitched a no-hitter."

"Okay, okay, misfits and spazz-heads, cripples can make it too!" Dakota admitted flatly. "That's great, what's your point?"

"Our point is that you're fired," Casey smiled, gaining on him while the rest of the kids grinned. And after a quick look at the top of his head which she noticed was a few inches below her, "And I'm taller than you."

~L~

It was the night of the Acafella's first show with their new members, and back stage, the group tried to shake off their nerves.

"Oi, we have to wear mascara?" Ralph asked as he watched his coach apply mascara to his top eyelashes.

"Sandy says it makes our eyes pop," Ken explained, and Ralph merely walked away. He hoped to one day forget what he just saw, even if it took therapy.

"There are a lot of moms out there, right?" Derek said, looking at Ralph, who smiled widely. Manwhore or not, his best friend was amusing.

"Guys, don't worry about it! Just get in the zone, alright," Paul began, even though he himself was a little jittery and pumped up. "This is gonna be fun! Believe me, you're gonna remember this night for the rest of your lives!"

"Paul?" Ralph asked.

"I know," he smiled. "You're nervous!"

"No, that isn't what I wanted to tell ya'. It's just," he paused. "Thanks for believing in me."

Paul smiled and nodded, and a suddenly vibrantly happy Sandy burst in.

"He's here! He's here! Josh Groban is here," he said, all but bouncing up and down like your type A Jonas Brothers fangirl. "Front row, big brown eyes, cute as a buttermilk biscuit! I barfed."

"Wait," Paul began with his eyes widened in surprise, "He actually showed up?! I can't believe it!" 

"Forget every experience that has ever happened in your drab little lives, _this _is the most important thing you will ever do!" Sandy exclaimed. "PLACES!"

They took their places on stage and the audience waited until lights flashed on stage, showing the silhouettes of five people.

"I know they're not gonna sing that song!" Sandy yelled in time with the music.

"Come inside," Paul sang, and he never felt more capable of doing anything than he did on that stage. "Take off your coat, I'll make you feel at home! Let's pour a glass of wine 'cause now we're all alone."

"I've been waiting all night long," he continued. "So, just let me hold you close to me! 'Cause I've been dyin' girl for you to make love to me!"

"I wanna sex you up!"

~L~

"I would _love _to just go to a recording studio and lay some of those tracks down," Sandy babbled on to Lassiter, who probably wasn't listening anyway. "And, of course, I would love to play some bigger venues. Wembley Stadium, Red Rocks..."

"Dude, I think you might've found a bit of a gold mine in this singing schtick," Derek admitted to Ralph as they enthused about the show.

"I told you, man," Ralph rubbed it in his face, and Derek moved onto another topic.

"And did you see that milf in the front row? Yow!" he laughed, goofing around, but everything ceased when they heard a voice from across the room.

"Hey, guys!" A voice called as they stepped back stage and Ralph tapped Paul's shoulder, getting his attention. When the room became silent, Sandy turned and gasped. "I'm Josh Groban, this is my body guard, Flex. We were in town, I was inducting Run DMC at the Rock and Roll hall of fame last night, so I thought I'd stop by and say hello. So, which one of you is, uh... Sandy?"

Sandy raised his hand and chuckled at himself, "Mister Groban, we are so honored that you came here today!"

"I came here to tell you," Josh was interrupted by an eager 'Yes, sir' from Sandy, and Josh held out a piece of paper. "Stop e-mailing me! This is a restraining order. Stop sending me nude photos! Stop calling me; I don't know how you got my number. I don't even know how you got my number again after I changed it. But I don't want any more of your edible gift baskets or locks of your hair, and I don't want to read any more of those sonnets you wrote for me."

"That stuff's kinda crazy, dude," Josh's body guard said.

"We clear?" Josh asked, and Sandy nodded slowly, his face turning bright red. "Thank you, gentlemen, and by the way, great show, I mean, like, pff! Explosive."

"Thanks," Paul said, barely audible out of second-hand embarrassment for Sandy. "Sorry…"

~L~ 

Emily switched out the books in her locker, opening up her backpack.

"Hey, Emily," Sheldon said as he walked up to her hesitantly. She glared gamma rays, but he pressed on into the jungle that is an angry teenage girl. "I just wanted to say that I'm _really _sorry I did that to your car, I couldn't imagine if someone did that to me, and over something that stupid, too... I'll pay for it to get fixed."

"It's okay," Emily waved him off, still with an edge of frustration in her voice. "My dad took away my car when I snuck out a few nights ago, anyway."

"And I just wanted to say I hope it works out between you and Derek," He said kindly. "You'll have really cute babies."

He started to walk away, but Emily called him back. "Sheldon?"

"Yeah?" He tuned back.

"It's probably not going to work out, anyway," she shrugged. "I mean, look at him… he's all over a lot of girls in this school. And I don't wanna lose a friend because of someone that probably isn't right for me anyway."

Emily stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Sheldon, smiling into his neck.

~L~

The kids weren't so helpless trying to follow Paul's instructions this time around, as they had gotten the hang of it. It was so much better having Paul back around, being nice and _not _kicking anybody out because of the way they looked. But when Paul turned to his students, asking them what they thought of the choreography, Casey raised her hand and said with a serious tone of voice, "Paul?"

"…Yes, Casey?" Paul sighed.

"It was really good," Casey said, smiling widely as she nodded her head in approval. The students laughed and began to clap, and they knew that all was forgiven.

"Thank you, thank you," Paul said, bowing somewhat. "From the top!"

~L~

"Let me get this straight," Ryan said as he sat at his desk after a lengthy description of the events that unfolded in the past few weeks. "The glee club got rid of Dakota Stanley, Paul's back, and they're busy working on a new number more confident than ever?"

"Yeah," Sally gulped, sitting next to an equally nervous Kendra, concerned that there may be some form of shooting.

"This is what we call a total disaster, ladies," Ryan said. "I'm going to ask you to sniff your arm pits."

Sally and Kendra shared a nervous look before lifting their arms and sniffing disdainfully.

"That's the smell of failure," Ryan claimed, scowling at the cheerleaders. "And it's stinking up my office. I'm revoking your tanning privileges for the rest of the semester."

The two left with a heavy sigh, but Sally stopped short of the door with an oddly calm look on her face, "I want to thank you Mister Sylvester,"

"For what?" Ryan hissed.

"For teaching me a valuable life lesson," she explained with a smile. Glee had taught her things that her parents never bothered to, and she certainly hadn't learned from cheerleading. She had realized in the past few days that just because someone did something that wasn't what you did, just because they didn't look like you or talk like you, didn't mean there was anything wrong with them. "When you really believe in yourself, you don't need to bring other people down."


	4. Preggers

"All the single ladies, all the single ladies…"

Sheldon and Emily were in his basement, blasting Beyoncé and trying feverishly to learn the dance.

Emily had worn a leotard for the occasion, but Sheldon had opted for the manlier version – leggings and a vest over that leotard.

Many in glee had wondered if Sheldon even liked girls, given his unbridled flamboyance, but they soon realized that he was simply so comfortable with himself that he wasn't afraid to share his interests with anyone who would listen.

Emily was happy that she and Sheldon had agreed to be friends. He still felt a little skittish around her at times, given his residual crush and lingering guilt over busting her window, but they were getting along better than ever.

"We should record this for posterity," Sheldon suggested, but Emily shot that down quickly.

"You are _not_ getting this ridiculousness on tape."

"Why? We're good." Sheldon was genuinely puzzled. "Why wouldn't you want your dance moves preserved for the ages?"

"Because, I look so clumsy next to you," Emily complained.

Sheldon made a disapproving sound. "Come here." He positioned her feet and arms where they should be and restarted the song. "Just follow my lead. You're wonderful."

Soon enough, they made it through the entire song without any (okay, many) mistakes.

Emily grabbed Sheldon around the neck. "That was so much fun!" He looked down at her, eyes twinkling, a little out of breath.

"It was," he said as he hugged her.

Just then, Sheldon's father walked into the basement, looking bewildered.

"Dad," Sheldon squeaked, immediately letting go of Emily. "You're home early."

"_Rachel Maddow_ is on," he replied, frowning.

It was no secret that Mr. Shlepper disapproved of Sheldon's penchant for dramatics. He could acknowledge his son's talent, but that didn't mean he wanted him dancing up and down the school hallways. The Shleppers were all about high achievement, and although Sheldon got good grades, he could not possibly become class president, valedictorian, and all the other things his siblings had been, without concentrating on his studies. Glee was just not a good option for him. It wouldn't even help get him into any colleges, like sports would.

Mr. Shlepper looked his son up and down. "What are you wearing?"

Sheldon hid his discomfort. "Oh, this?" He motioned to his clothes. "Guys wear this to…uh, work out, nowadays."

Mr. Shlepper cocked his head, and his frown deepened.

"Football!" Emily cried, trying to be helpful. She saw how uncomfortable Sheldon was. It was the first thing that had come to her mind.

"Yeah, all the guys in football wear them," Sheldon said, giving Emily a grateful nod.

"Sheldon's on the football team now," Emily said before she could stop herself. Where had that come from? She could tell by Sheldon's surprised squeak that it was a mistake.

But, encouraged by his father's interested expression, Sheldon nodded. "Emily was just helping me with some…conditioning…uh, work." He glanced at his iPod, which had thankfully not gone right into the rest of his Beyoncé playlist after "Single Ladies" ended.

Mr. Shlepper shrugged. "Well, you know I'm not much for football, but it's great you're building up your resume. Just don't let your grades suffer." And as an afterthought, "Oh, and at least now you won't have time for that silly glee club."

Sheldon winced. "Uh-huh."

"Hey, are you his girlfriend?" Mr. Shlepper asked Emily.

Emily blushed. "N-no. Just friends."

Sheldon covered his face with his hands, but removed them quickly when his father turned back to him.

"Well, just keep that music down. I can't hear myself think upstairs."

So he _had_ heard the song. Sheldon nodded a reply.

"Oh," Mr. Shlepper paused at the bottom of the stairs, "make sure to get me a ticket to your first game."

As soon as his father was upstairs, Sheldon groaned and flopped down on the couch. "Em_ily_!"

"Sorry!" Emily squeaked.

"What am I gonna do now?"

~L~

Casey stared happily at the sheet music Paul had just handed everyone at the beginning of rehearsal.

But something caught her eye. "Excuse me, Paul, but this isn't the right key."

Paul had been anticipating this and was ready with his response: a cool, collected, "No, it's the right key."

Casey knitted her eyebrows. "But this is the alto part."

Paul nodded. "Yup. We're going to have Kendra try the solo."

Kendra looked up from studying the lyrics. "Really?"

Casey pouted. "I'm sorry, there must be some sort of mix-up. I thought I made it very clear that anything from _West Side Story_ goes to me."

Paul sighed. "_Ca_sey."

"Maria is _my_ part," she continued. "Natalie Wood was of Russian descent you know. I'm one-eighth Russian. I've always felt a sort of kinship to her." She looked pleadingly at Paul.

"I'm just trying to shake things up a bit. Get us out of our boxes," Paul explained.

"You're trying to punish me!"

Paul shrugged. "I think you're being irrational." He'd exorcise the diva out of her if it was the last thing he did.

"I think you're being unfair!"

Kendra held up a hand, tired of the arguing. Casey was such a brat. "I don't _have_ to do the stupid song."

Paul turned to look at her. "Do you _want_ to do it?"

Kendra pursed her lips. "Well, yeah. Casey's not the only one who loves _West Side Story_." She shot Casey a death glare as Paul turned away from her.

Casey stood firm. "But I'm sure Kendra knows she's not ready for such an iconic role as Maria…"

Kendra stepped forward, eyebrows arched. "Wanna bet?"

Paul got between the frosty stare-down. "Girls! We can settle this without getting rude about it, can't we?"

Casey turned on her heel and stomped away.

Noel and Sam exchanged exasperated looks. "The more times she storms out of rehearsal," Noel pointed to Casey's retreating form, "the less impact it has."

Emily threw up her hands. "I'll go talk to her." She followed Casey into the hall, but Casey was already out of sight.

Paul groaned. "This is going _so_ well."

Kendra smirked at Sally, who quickly gave her a low high-five so the others couldn't see.

~L~

Sheldon begged the football coach for a spot on the team. Coach Fox only agreed to a tryout.

Sheldon stared at the football players, practicing impossible-looking drills out on the green. He put on his helmet and jogged over to the coach, trying to ignore his nausea. "I'm all ready, Coach. I just need my music."

"Music?" Coach Fox scoffed. "What do you mean? The guys don't practice to music."

"Look, Coach, with all due respect, my body is like a rum chocolate soufflé. If I don't warm it up right, it doesn't rise. I have to do this my way."

Coach Fox stood at the edge of the field, considering whether that was supposed to mean something dirty, as Sheldon set up his CD player.

The team trotted to the sidelines to see what all the fuss was about.

"Hey, I'm Max Miller," a friendly-looking player said to Sheldon.

They shook hands. "Sheldon Shlepper."

"Sophomore, right? You ever played before?"

"Yes. And no, I haven't played before."

"We're not very good, but you'll have fun. Good luck!" Max went over to where his team had huddled around their coach, and, to his horror, Sheldon realized that Ryan Sylvester gave Max a fist bump as he trotted up. Sheldon had totally forgotten about The Fridge. He was definitely not going to make the team if Ryan had any kind of say. And knowing Ryan, he did.

"Everyone take a knee," Coach Fox was saying as Sheldon hurried over to join the team. "Six games. Our kicker, Mr. Langenthal," he patted Langenthal's shoulder, "is zero for twelve in field goal attempts. As most of you statistically-minded people know," he took a step towards Langenthal and bellowed, "That! Sucks!"

Langenthal looked like he was about to cry.

"So Mr. Langenthal," Coach continued, "will thusly now be in charge of hydration services." Langenthal hung his head. "The next player to get a football between those uprights will get his job."

That was Sheldon's cue. "Hello, everyone. I'm Sheldon Shlepper, and I'll be auditioning for the role of kicker."

There were a few snickers, but no one said anything rude. Sheldon breathed a sigh of relief.

Of course, the tranquility didn't last. Ryan set up the first kick. "You'll never make it," Ryan taunted. "You're just a glee club loser. What makes you think you can play football, huh, pretty boy?"

Sheldon ignored him. He placed his CD player near where Ryan was squatting and pressed play.

"Up on him, he up on me. Don't pay him any attention…" Sheldon shook out his arms a little to loosen himself up. Then he began dancing the "Single Ladies" steps, all the way up to where Ryan was holding the ball. He could hear the laughter of the football players, as well as Ryan's cruel chuckle, but he didn't let anything distract him.

Before he knew it, he was up to the ball, and it was time to kick. In one swift motion, he brought his leg forward, connecting it solidly with the football.

Ryan followed the ball's trajectory in horror as soon as he felt it disappear from beneath his fingertips.

Sheldon was watching the ball, too. He held his breath as it sailed across the field and flew neatly between the two goal posts.

Every member of the football team dropped his helmet from his hands. The helmets landed with lots of thuds on the grass.

Sheldon could hear Emily cheering from the stands. He reached over and pressed the "stop" button on his player. Coach Fox ran over to him.

"That was good, right?" Sheldon asked, beaming.

Coach Fox put a hand on his shoulder and stared at him. "Can you do that with the game on the line, and ten gorillas bearing down on you, wanting nothing more than to taste your sweet virgin blood?"

Sheldon played it cool. "Sounds like fun. Can I have my music?"

"You kick like that, and you can wear a tutu for all I care!" Coach Fox held up Sheldon's arm for him and waved it. "Gentlemen!" he called to the rest of the team, "We have found ourselves a kicker!"

Sheldon turned to see a rage-filled Ryan stomping his helmet into the ground.

~L~

Sally sobbed into her open locker, hoping the hallways would be empty soon, and she could get some privacy.

No such luck.

"Sal?" Ralph ran up to her. She shut her locker and began walking away, keeping her face turned away from him.

"Sally! Hey! What's with the silent treatment?" Ralph grabbed her shoulders and turned her around to face him. "Whatever I did, I'm sor—" he caught sight of her tear-stained face. "Sal?"

Sally took a deep breath, and, looking deep into Ralph's eyes, announced shakily, "I'm pregnant."

Sally was saying something about drugstore tests and missed periods, but all Ralph could hear was his racing heart drumming up a storm in his chest.

He convinced himself that he wasn't sure he'd actually heard Sally say anything at all. Maybe he'd had a bad burrito at lunch or something and it was messing with his head.

"I just thought you should know," Sally continued, and Ralph snapped out of his denial.

"Mine?" was the first thing that came out of his mouth. _Real smooth_.

Sally recoiled as if she'd been slapped. "Of course. Who else's would it be?"

Ralph thought back. "But we never…" He definitely did not recall having sex. He would have remembered that.

"Last month…" Sally looked down. "Hot tub…"

Ralph glanced around wildly. He remembered _that_, alright. He and Sally had been going hot and heavy in her hot tub, clothed in bathing suits of course, and when she started to kiss down his neck, he got…excited. "Think of the mailman!" she'd cried, over and over, but it didn't do any good. He pictured that day in the car with his grandma, but it was too late, he'd lost the battle with his body.

Jerked back to the present by his now openly weeping girlfriend, Ralph confirmed, "But we were wearing our swimsuits."

"My O.B. said it's the perfect temperature for sperm…it helps it swim faster."

Ralph began to hyperventilate, finally convinced that this was really happening. What would his grandma say?! "Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god." He took a deep breath. "Are you gonna get a…" He couldn't bring himself to say "abortion." He thought of his very pro-life grandma. "_Oh_ my _god_."

"No, I'm not." Sally hung her head. "I really thought I had a shot of getting out of this town." A fresh batch of sobs wracked her frame, and Ralph wanted to hug her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Sally leaned into him, tears soaking his shoulder. He was vaguely aware that the bell had rung sometime during their conversation, and the hallway had emptied. He stared at the wall, trying to think of something, anything, to say to her. His mind was a total blank.

~L~

Ryan went to see Sandy Ryerson directly after football practice. He was a whiny, pathetic weasel of a man, but Ryan needed his help. Glee club was becoming more and more mainstream. Sheldon joining the football team was the last straw. He needed to make sure glee was disbanded for good, and Sandy needed his job at the school back: they could help each other out. So Ryan paid him a visit and convinced him that going back to teaching was the perfect way to get over Josh Groban. In turn, Sandy would help him destroy Paul and his sorry singing club.

"Absolutely not," Lassiter told him when Ryan asked for Sandy to be reinstated. "I'm never letting Sandy Ryerson back in this school."

Ryan put his laptop on Lassiter's desk. It was time to pull out all the stops. "Take a look at this." He clicked on a folder marked "Blackmail." It contained several documents. The one he opened contained a commercial for Lufthansa, featuring a much younger Lassiter wearing Lederhosen and sitting on a park bench.

"Vascular embolisms are a serious hazard on long distance flights," the on-screen Lassiter said in German. There were English subtitles at the bottom of the screen. "So make sure to stretch your legs every hour to prevent clotting. For additional protection," he began putting on flesh-colored pantyhose, "anti-embolism stockings can be purchased from your flight attendants."

Ryan grinned devilishly at Lassiter. "I would hate to see this video circulating around the school. Or better yet, YouTube."

Lassiter cringed, embarrassed. "What do you want?"

Ryan held up his fingers and ticked off his points. "I want Sandy—"

"Mr. Ryerson," Lassiter corrected.

Ryan ignored him. "—Sandy to become head of glee club. Paul is running it into the ground." Another finger tick. "I want Sandy to become head of the drama department. That mental patient Katrina you have running it is getting crazier every day." Last tick. "I want Casey McDonald out of glee. She's a menace."

Lassiter sighed. "I will only agree to give Sandy a position as vocal coach. I've already hired a new music teacher. He can work with the new teacher part-time. I refuse to let him become a full-fledged faculty member again."

Ryan shrugged. "That's more than I thought you'd give me. You're going soft, Lassie."

Lassiter's eyes widened as Ryan sauntered from his office. He had been played.

Ryan really was content. He had made his demands knowing that asking for more than he wanted would get him a better compromise than he would have gotten otherwise. Sandy answered to Ryan now, which meant he could help lure Casey away from glee, and hopefully help with the club's downfall.

~L~

Casey approached the notice board in the hallway. There was a flyer advertising a London Community Theater productionof _Cabaret_. Casey had been passing it all day, and finally, after classes, she decided to read the fine print.

There wasn't much of it. _Be a Lead in our Community Theater! Audition for _Cabaret_! Must audition with Celine Dion song of your choice._

Casey loved Celine! And she was dying for a lead role. Glee these days was so depressing. She hated singing backup. She and Ralph had barely spoken in weeks, and Derek was his usual obnoxious self whenever she saw him. She needed a distraction. And this was the perfect one. Doing community theater wouldn't exactly bring the talent scouts, but she knew it was good experience for her resume.

Casey went to the community center that very day. She was going to audition with "Taking Chances," a song she knew would knock the judges' socks off. She was surprised to see that Mr. Ryerson seemed to be running things. She had never known him as a teacher, but she had heard him sing in Acafellas, and he was atrocious. But the other judges were more qualified, so Casey felt confident that this wasn't a waste of her time. She signed in, using her signature "ten" superscript at the end of her name, and stepped onto the stage.

"Wow," Mr. Ryerson said earnestly when she finished singing.

"What's next?" she asked. In hindsight she realized she should have thanked him, but she was too excited.

"Congratulations, Miss McDonald, you have just landed the lead," Mr. Ryerson told her.

Casey jumped up and down and giggled into her palm. _Yes!_

~L~

"This is a joke!" Paul cried as he entered Principal Lassiter's office. He had heard the disturbing news.

"Paul, Sandy's never been formally charged with anything. And the fact is, upon further reflection, my firing of him was rash."

Paul paced back and forth in front of the principal's desk. He glared at Lassiter.

"This is a wonderful thing, Paul. You're the one always complaining that the arts don't get enough attention around here!"

"This was Ryan's idea, I know it!" Paul cried. "He's always been out to get me!"

Just then, Ryan came through the door. "Paul, if I was out to get you, I'd have you pickling in a mason jar on my shelf by now."

"I heard Casey got the lead in _Cabaret_," Paul said accusingly to Ryan.

Ryan held up both hands in an "I'm innocent" gesture. "Hey, what kind of teacher are you, begrudging your students their success?"

Paul rounded on Lassiter. "What does he _have_ on you?" When he didn't get an answer, Paul groaned and traipsed out of the office, defeated. For now.

~L~

Paul found Casey rehearsing backstage at the community center. He had one question. "Why?"

"An opportunity arose for me to showcase my talents and I took it," Casey told him matter-of-factly. "How's it any different from when you quit glee to form your boy band?" She put her leg up on the barre against the wall and stretched.

Paul put his hands in his pockets. "Because _I_ didn't do it out of spite."

"I'm offended by that accusation. I've always been a team player." She paused. "Just admit it, Paul. You don't like me very much." She went back to her stretching, but the conversation was far from over.

Paul was offended she would even say that. She was hard to take sometimes, but he _did_ like her. "That's not true. I am your biggest, and sometimes your only, fan."

Casey's head snapped up to look at him. She had never had a teacher so supportive of her ambitions, even in her all-girls school back in Chicago. It was nice to feel wanted. But she couldn't derail her future plans just because some teacher was nice to her. "Look. I know who I am, okay? I know I can be a little abrasive, bossy, and conceited. I'm just hurt that you chose to judge me on that rather than on my talent. I know it sounds awful, but I'm the best one in glee. I try the hardest, and I want it the most."

"Everyone knows that. And they're scared of it." Paul fudged this next part a little, because he knew that the others _did_ work hard. But he needed Casey back, whatever it took. "They all think that they can slack off because you'll pick up their weight. We can't win regionals like that. We need everyone to be a perfect ten. Everyone needs to think they're a star."

"I'm not quitting glee, Paul. I'm just looking for a reason to stay."

"Oh, like me taking the solo away from Kendra and giving it to you?"

Casey's brow furrowed at the mention of Sally's friend. No good could come of her getting in the spotlight. "Everyone on the team has a reason for being there. You're doing a great job of getting them out of their shells. Look at Sam and Noel. The first day we met, they were both so nervous and awkward. Now, they're much more confident. But what about me? I'm still getting slushied once a week. The Cheerios flush my lipstick down the toilet. I still don't have a boyfriend." Her eyes welled up at the thought of Ralph. "Kendra's a great singer, but why do you have to hurt me to make her feel good?"

Paul was overcome with the emotional shockwaves coming off of her. Casey was in serious need of some support. Maybe she wasn't getting it at home, what with her mom spending so much time with her new boyfriend. She needed it from him, or she'd soon crack beyond repair. "Just come to rehearsal. And please, come visit me in my office if you're feeling bullied."

Casey didn't answer him. She simply grabbed her bag and walked out. She did a lot of walking away. Paul knew he needed to find some way for her to feel like she belonged. If not in glee, then somewhere. But he _hoped_ it was glee.

~L~

Tinkles pounded away on the piano keys as Kendra belted out the lyrics to "Tonight."

Paul watched with a smile on his face. She was really good. Not Casey-good, but really good.

"…for here you are, and what was just a world is a star…tonight…" As Kendra held the last note, her voice faltered and she went totally off-key. Paul cringed.

"That was great, Kendra, good job." He clapped for her.

"You don't have to say that," Kendra said softly. To her surprise, she was actually disappointed that she hadn't hit that last "tonight." She had only joined glee out of solidarity for Sally, but she realized that singing was a lot of fun. She thought she might even stay in the club after Sally got her man out of Casey's clutches. "I was sharp. I can't do this." It killed her to say it, but she did anyway. "We need Casey."

"Hey, hey." Paul placed a comforting hand on each shoulder. "I need you to be _great_ at regionals. To do that, you've got to know that you can do this."

"You have to give this song to Casey. She'll do it better. Besides, she'll quit if you don't."

Paul sighed. He knew she was right.

As Kendra left the stage, Ralph entered from the opposite direction. He had been crying, and he walked with his arms folded across his chest, shielding himself from the world. He stopped in front of Paul.

"Hey…" Paul said softly. Ralph broke down, and Paul pulled him into his arms. "It's okay."

Ralph cried, shuddering, against Paul, and Paul rubbed his back. He couldn't imagine what had upset happy-go-lucky Ralph so much.

~L~

Paul took Ralph to dinner, and over the seafood special, he heard the whole sordid tale.

Well, okay, not the whole tale. Just the facts: Sally was pregnant and Ralph was the father.

_Damn._

Paul's heart was in his throat and his stomach had settled somewhere around his shins. Ralph did not deserve this. Sure, he had brought it on himself, but for some reason, he blamed Sally more. She should have taken responsibility for their sex life. Ralph was an innocent. He probably still thought babies came from storks. Besides, Sally was the _president_ of the Celibacy Club. Though he was upset, Paul could still appreciate the irony.

"You should tell your grandmother," Paul told him.

"I can't talk to her about this," Ralph said sadly.

"How far along is she?"

"I don't know…a couple weeks, maybe. It's pretty recent, I guess."

Paul knew it was time to stop being a friend and start being a guidance counselor. "Would you like me to set you up with Planned Parenthood?"

Ralph shook his head vehemently. "No, no, it's not even a conversation. She's keeping it."

Paul was surprised. He knew a little about Sally's dreams of med school. This would seriously derail her plans.

"I've seen guys around town who had kids in high school," Ralph continued. "They work at restaurants, or at the supermarket, or pumping gas, or worse. They're caged. No future. I can't become one of those dudes, Paul."

Paul patted his hand. "I'll help you figure something out. You can still have a career."

"We don't have any money. I want to get a hockey scholarship to college. I can't get in with my grades." He looked like he was about to cry again.

"I'll try my best to help you, Ralph. I promise."

~L~

Sheldon was actually doing well at football practice. Most of the team didn't talk to him at all, and the coach tried not to play him very often, but he was talented enough that he didn't get tortured in the hallways. Even Derek had stopped his daily torments. (He didn't want to chance getting into trouble with the football team for any reason.)

They had a game coming up, and Sheldon felt the dread reverberating off the locker room walls. The team thought they had no chance to win.

At glee one day, Ralph inadvertently gave Sheldon a brilliant idea. Apparently Paul had taught Derek and Ralph to dance for Acafellas using a baseball metaphor. If Sheldon could help the football team with their agility, help them learn how to properly use their bodies, it might make them confident enough to play better. Ralph was stunned Sheldon had gotten all that from a simple story about swinging your hips while hitting a baseball. Sheldon just smiled.

He pitched the idea before a practice. Coach Fox was all for it. Anything to increase their chances of winning even one game.

"Listen up," Coach told the team as they gathered in the locker room. "Since Sheldon here seems to be the only one who can score on this team, I've decided to let him try some unorthodox training regimens."

Sheldon explained his idea.

Ryan punched a locker. "This is garbage! What does Beyoncé have to do with football? Why are we even listening to Justin Timberlake over here?"

"Quiet, Sylvester," Coach Fox barked. Ryan turned to Sheldon and made a slitting motion across his throat.

Sheldon didn't even flinch. He could handle Ryan…because the rest of the team actually looked somewhat interested.

"Yeah, I mean, look at Jim Brown, Dick Butkus, even O.J. All pretty tough guys, all performers," Max spoke up, and Sheldon gave him a grateful smile.

"Yeah, think about it," Sheldon agreed. "If you can sing and dance in front of people, everything else is easy."

"Coach!" Ryan whined. But Coach Fox held up a hand for him to be quiet.

"Ryan, we lost all respect when we lost to that school for the _deaf_. We literally have nowhere to go but up."

Ryan punched a locker again, but he stayed quiet. He knew if he kept disagreeing or walked out, Coach Fox could kick him off the team. And he didn't really have any blackmail on Fox that would force his hand.

"In _The Art of War_," Sheldon explained, "Sun Tzu says that you should never let the enemy know you. Our greatest weapon could be the element of surprise." He glared at Ryan. "Don't tell me you wouldn't be on your heels if the other team started busting a move on the field."

Coach Fox nodded. "Okay, that's enough talking. Let's go, gentlemen. In the choir room, in full pads, in five."

~L~

Paul was pretty busy, but he couldn't say no when Sheldon had asked him to teach the football team to dance. The idea was so ludicrous it just had to work. Besides, he was looking forward to having the upper hand with Ryan for once.

"Five, six, seven, eight. Step ball change, up…"

He was surprised to see that many of the players weren't half bad. A little rough and unpracticed, but they could handle simple combinations.

"Your hips are still a little tight, guys. It's like when you're playing football. It's all about the lateral movement." He was about to demonstrate when Sheldon stepped forward with a smile. Paul bowed to him and moved out of his way.

"Alright boys," Sheldon said. He caught Ryan's sneer and smirked at him. "Hand, hand, point to the ring finger…"

When he got to "Comb through the hair, then slap the butt," Ryan overturned a chair, muttering obscenities as he stormed out of the choir room.

Coach Fox shrugged. "Keep going. Ryan won't be playing in the next game, that's all."

Paul's eyes met Sheldon's and he winked discreetly. Sheldon could barely contain his laughter.

~L~

"What's going on with you, Ralph?" Derek asked after hockey practice that afternoon.

"I've just got a lot on my mind."

As usual, Derek didn't push for information. But he knew this time something was really wrong. Ralph's face was all blotchy, like he'd been crying. He wouldn't admit it, but Derek was worried.

"It's personal," Ralph reiterated when he caught Derek staring at him.

Just to tease him, Derek said in mock horror, "I knew it. Glee turned you gay."

Ralph didn't even crack a smile. "Sally's pregnant. She's keeping the baby."

Derek's eyes widened. He did some mental math. It was possible that he was…uh-oh.

Luckily, he didn't have to come up with a response, because Ralph had already walked away in a daze. Derek ran for the restroom, but puking didn't make him feel any better.

~L~

Sally wandered the empty McKinley halls after Cheerios practice, wondering how it was possible that everything in her life had changed in a split second. She almost bumped into Derek, who was waiting for her at her locker.

"Leave me alone," she said coldly.

"Who's the father?" Derek asked, more harshly than he had intended.

Sally's lip quivered, but she concentrated on remembering her combination and opening the locker door.

"I just think it's weird, you know, since Ralph thinks it's his baby, and you told me you were a virgin when we did it. And I know for a fact you and Ralph didn't…"

Sally gave him a withering glare. "How can you be so sure?"

Derek sighed. "Ralph's my friend. He would have _told_ me." He was pretty confident that that was true.

"And tell me Derek, do you make a habit of sleeping with your _friends' _girlfriends?" Sally grabbed her books, shut her locker, and began walking towards the door.

"Hey!" He caught up to her and grabbed her arm. "Guess we should alert the Vatican."

"Huh?" Sally's eyes were glassy, and it jarred Derek to see her so upset.

"Well, we have another immaculate conception on our hands here, don't we?" Derek's joke didn't seem so funny when Sally burst into tears.

"Go to hell!" she screamed at him, and shoved him away.

He pulled her into an embrace and patted her hair as she cried. "I'd take care of it, Sal. You, too. I make good money with my pool cleaning business. I would never be a deadbeat dad." He swallowed, but the lump in his throat was still there. He really believed he could do it, even though the idea of having a kid scared the shit out of him. But he couldn't let Ralphie take the fall for his mistake.

Sally straightened up and pulled away from him. "I had sex with you because I was drunk on wine coolers, and I felt fat that day. But it was a mistake. You're a London loser, and you're always going to be a London loser. I don't _want_ you."

That hurt. She knew about his dream of leaving town. It cut especially deep, because she shared the same dream. They had even talked about their plans the day they got drunk and, stupidly, had unprotected sex. Derek looked down at his shoes, unsure of what to say. By the time he looked up, Sally was gone.

~L~

The McKinley football field was illuminated by the stadium lights. Emily, Sam, and Noel filed onto the bleachers and found seats. They waved to Amy and Kendra, who were down on the field with the Cheerios. The girls waved back. Emily briefly wondered where Sally was, but she'd been quiet all day. Maybe she wasn't feeling well. Emily had invited Ralph to the game, but he hadn't shown either. _Weird_.

She recognized Sheldon's parents a few rows down. She tried to get their attention, but the crowd was too noisy. She also saw Paul sitting next to Ms. Zeldin, and wondered why his wife wasn't there. She was about to ask Noel and Sam their opinions about all the absences, but thought better of it; she had to break her gossip habit.

Noel started a wave, and it caught on. But it wasn't a very enthusiastic one. The fans on their side of the bleachers knew they would be watching another disappointment.

Out on the field, Max was giving the pep talk. "I really think we came together this week as a team."

"Yeah, a big gay team," Ryan snarked. "A big gay team of dancing gays."

A few of the other players murmured their agreement. "Yeah, Max, it was fun in practice, but we can't do this in front of everybody. It'll make us even more of a joke," one said.

Max shrugged. "Come on, guys. Either way, we have to go out there."

They broke up, and Ryan trudged over to the benches with the players who weren't starting. The rest of the team assembled on the field.

Max called the play. "Divert right, eighty-seven on one. Break!" The players clapped their agreement, and the ref blew the starting whistle.

"Yo, QB," a player on the other team called to Max. "Your mom's so fat the back of her neck look like a pack of hot dogs! Get me some ketchup!"

The play started, and the McKinley players got tackled right away.

They tried again. "Punch and Judy on one," Max called the play. "Break!"

Yet again, they were shut out of every chance for a touchdown. By the third quarter, McKinley was down by six to zero.

They lost ground left and right, and the crowd groaned as there was a pileup. McKinley just could not hold on to the ball.

With less than a minute left in the fourth quarter, Max called a time out.

In the huddle, he exclaimed, "We gotta do it!"

"We'll be jokes for the rest of our high school lives," someone griped.

"We're already jokes!" Max shot back.

"Yo left tackle, your mom's so fat her cereal bowl comes with its own lifeguard," came a taunt from the other team.

Max had had enough. "Yo, ankle grabber," he called as he made his way towards the enemy. "I had sex with your mother. Seriously. I delivered her a pizza, and then I had sex with her. In your bed. Nice _Star Wars_ sheets!"

The player looked horrified and backed away. Max turned to his team. "I think we should do this." This time, they nodded. "Huddle up!" The team gathered one last time. It was all or nothing. "Ring On It on three! Break!"

Max counted to three, and then signaled the sound guys, who usually only had to be responsible for playing a tinny recording of "The Star-Spangled Banner." They started the song Sheldon had given them, and the familiar beat of "Single Ladies" rang out over the stadium.

"All the single ladies, all the single ladies…"

The team swayed their hips with pride.

"Now put your hands up! Up in the club, just broke up…"

Their hands went up, their hands went down, their legs kicked. The other team was speechless.

"If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it, if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it…"

Everyone in the stands was dancing along, awestruck. Even some of the players on the other team were tapping their feet.

"Uh uh oh, uh uh oh oh…"

As the song finished, Danny, one of Max's best guys, made a run for the end zone. The second the music stopped, Max grabbed the ball and winged it. Danny caught it and lunged across the white line, getting a touchdown. The crowd went wild!

Paul and Kathy were jumping up and down and hugging. They each paused when their faces got too close, but Paul quickly turned away before anything happened, and Kathy followed suit.

Emily had missed that. She was too busy cheering herself hoarse. She didn't care about football, though. She was so proud of Sheldon for helping the team. And now it looked like he would really save the day. The game was over, but the score was tied.

It was all up to Sheldon's field goal.

"Single Ladies" came on once more at Max's signal, and Sheldon danced into the kick, like he'd practiced so many times. The ball seemed to soar through the air in slow motion, and when it finally reached the goalposts, it sailed right between them. The ref signaled a goal, and the crowd began cheering again, even louder this time. McKinley had won, seven to six. The team picked Sheldon up and carried him around the field on their shoulders. He looked for Emily in the stands, and found her bouncing up and down, grinning from ear to ear. He waved. She waved both hands back.

After the game, Mr. Shlepper waited for Sheldon outside the locker room. "Well, son, I'm impressed. Guess there's something to your song-and-dance obsession after all."

"Thanks, Dad." Sheldon pulled him into a hug. "Just so you know, I had fun out there tonight, but I think I'm going to stick with glee."

His dad nodded. "I understand. I can't wait to see you up on that stage. I love you, Sheldon."

"I love you, t—" Sheldon barely got the words out because Emily had tackled him from behind.

"I'm so proud of you!" she giggled. "Oh, hi, Mr. Shlepper."

Sheldon's father greeted her warmly. From the way Sheldon was looking at her, he was probably saying hello to his future daughter-in-law. And that was okay with him. Emily was a nice girl.

Sam and Noel came forward next. The guys exchanged high-fives. "Celebratory pizza?" Noel suggested.

Sheldon looked to his dad, who nodded. "Fine by me. Go have fun with your friends."

"Thanks." Sheldon grabbed Emily's hand and ran after Sam and Noel.

~L~

The next morning, Sally closed her locker, trying to focus on getting through the day. Ralph met up with her in the hall.

"Hey, Sal." He smiled at her, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Here."

He handed her a ratty old strip of fabric, and Sally recoiled. But as soon as Ralph began explaining what it was, she was touched.

"This is my old baby blanket. My dad got it for me the day I was born. It's the only thing I have to remember him by."

"Thank you," Sally said softly.

"I used to cry without it. I took it everywhere with me, so it's a little dirty. But I want our baby to have it."

"Oh, Ralph."

"Wait, let me finish. I'm going to do everything I can to be a good father."

Sally hugged him, and she had barely pulled away when she heard Derek stop by her locker.

"Hey guys. How ya doing?" He directed his question to Sally. But the hurt in his eyes told her he wasn't sincere. So she didn't answer.

"Are you gaining weight? Gee, you should really cut back on the carbs."

Ralph glared at him. "Don't talk to my girlfriend that way."

"You're right." Derek took a step back. "I was out of line. See you guys around," He sauntered off.

Ralph watched him go, wondering what all that was about. He _had_ told him about Sally, right? Why would Derek go and call her fat, if he knew she was pregnant? That was mean. And uncalled for.

~L~

"Hey guys," Paul said with excitement at glee rehearsal that afternoon. "Let's give a warm welcome to our three new members, Max Miller, Derek Venturi, and Sandra Barker."

The glee members looked around at each other, confused.

"Max is fresh off his 'Single Ladies'-inspired football win. Sandra is a friend of Max's; she's got some tap-dancing experience. And Derek had so much fun in Acafellas, he just _had_ to join," Paul explained, and Derek rolled his eyes at him. Paul wasn't exactly sure _why_ Derek had decided to join, but he had a feeling that it wasn't all about his love of music. He had a feeling that girls had something to do with it.

Sandra and Max said hello to everyone, but Derek took a seat without saying a word. Sam and Noel exchanged worried glances. This was gonna be interesting!

Casey glared daggers at the back of Derek's head from her spot on one of the risers. How could he?! She had avoided him this long, why couldn't it last?

Derek smirked. He knew Casey was staring at him. Good. He snuck a glance at her: she looked hot when she was riled up. But then he glanced at Sally and Ralph, a knot forming in his stomach. They looked back at him warily, each for different reasons. He wasn't sure what had propelled him to join glee, but he knew he needed a change in his life. He was going to be a father. No more bullying. No more slacking off. He had to start thinking about his future. And if he managed to annoy the heck out of Little Miss Perfect Casey in the process, so be it.

"Let's start with 'Tonight'," Paul suggested. "Kendra?"

Casey's face fell. She _was_ back in glee, wasn't she? That solo was _hers_.

~L~

"I thought you had glee practice, my little multi-tasking star," Sandy said as he looked up from painting a prop at the community center.

"I quit. I'm yours exclusively." Casey could not handle being in glee now. Between the lost solo and Derek, glee was not worth it, as much as she loved it.

Casey asked the pianist to play "Maybe This Time" in B flat. She had to concentrate on being her best at _this_ place now. She could not afford to look back.


	5. The Rhodes Not Taken

It was only a few weeks until the invitational for McKinley High's glee club, and Paul had to get the word out, fast. He had made posters to hang on the walls around the school, but little did he know that certain cheer leading coaches were following him, taking them back town to thwart his efforts.

Things had been difficult around the glee club since Casey quit, Paul thought to himself as he watched the kids practice Don't Stop Believing, where, in Casey's place, Sally sang with a voice that belonged to a five year old - a _good _five year old, but a five year old nonetheless. She didn't have the powerhouse voice that Casey had coursing through her vocal cords, and Ralph's voice didn't mesh as well with his girlfriend's.

But, only a few lines into the song, Sally felt something twist in her stomach. She ran for the door with her hand over her mouth, and Paul called after her, but she burst out of the door, ignoring him.

"I think she just had a bad breakfast burrito," Ralph tried with an uneasy smile.

"Can we please talk about the giant elephant in the room?" Sheldon asked as he crossed his arms.

"Your sexuality?" Kendra shot back with a snarl.

Sheldon cast a glare in her direction, but said nothing in reply, "Casey," he said. "We can't do it without her."

"That's not true," Paul said, but he didn't fully believe his own words. "We may need to layer Kendra and Emily over Sally's solo, but... we'll be fine."

"Maybe for the invitationals," Noel interjected, "But not the sectionals and certainly not the regionals."

"The poetry kid's right," Derek agreed reluctantly. "Casey makes me wanna light myself on fire, but she can sing."

"Look, Casey _left, _guys, she's gone. Now, if we're gonna make this thing work, we can't look back," Paul explained, but everyone just looked at him blankly in their own way of saying 'we disagree'. "Alright, take five, guys."

Ralph walked up to Paul who had sat down at the piano when all the other glee clubbers sat down to complain to each other about how Casey left, "Uh, Paul," he began with his hands in his pockets, peering behind his shoulder nervously. "I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but with all the dancing around that Sally's doing, I'm kind of worried about the baby..."

"Yeah, I get it," he said understandingly. "How about I give Sandra a few of her verses, okay?"

"Okay," Ralph nodded.

"You think you might wanna tell your grandma about what's going on?" Paul questioned, worried about his student.

"I think I'd rather handle it myself right now," Ralph declined. "My grandma's got enough to worry about."

Ralph walked away, and Paul looked at him wearily as he went back to his group, placing a hand on his head. He was just a kid, and he needed someone's help… he needed someone to talk to, guide him through some things. Paul couldn't talk to him, he needed someone who wasn't emotionally invested, and that's when it hit him. After rehearsals, Paul ran for the teacher's lounge and saw Kathy filing her nails absent mindedly.

"Can you keep a secret?" he whispered into her ear with a hand placed on her shoulder.

~L~

Ralph sat in Kathy's decently sized, squeaky-clean office with no idea why he was there. "So," he began as he fidgeted with his hands in his lap. "Have I done something wrong, or-"

"Oh, no! No, no, absolutely not," Kathy said wildly, shaking her head rapidly. "No, actually, I've just, um, taken a special interest in you. Look, I know sometimes life can come at you pretty fast, and uh, you reach a point where you just need a little special guidance."

Ralph looked at her questioningly, both because he knew she wasn't the guidance counselor and because she sounded like she knew more than she was saying. His grandma had told him that people said 'uh' a lot when they're lying, too. "Has someone told you something about my personal life?" he questioned.

"Nope, uh-uh," she reassured, her fingers intertwined together in a false display of innocence. "But you know, there are very few students who get athletic scholarships, but there are some schools who give full rides to kids who excel in music... students like yourself. And I dunno, maybe if you were able to go to college, you wouldn't, say, end up stuck in this town in a dead-end job living hand and mouth with a wife and kid you never intended to have."

Ralph's face fell rapidly in apprehension, and Kathy covered herself roughly. "For example," she coughed. "That's just something off the top of my head."

"So," he began tentatively. "You think if I stuck with glee, I could get a scholarship?"

"It's definitely a possibility," Kathy smiled hopefully. "And if you win at regionals, maybe you could generate some interest."

"But we lost Casey," Ralph reminded her. "Do you think we can do it without her?"

"…Sure," Kathy said. _No, no you can't. _"Definitely... but, if you're concerned about your future, and those who may be a part of your future soon, maybe you could just give Casey a talk, you know, see if you can get her to come back."

"Maybe I will," Ralph said with a wide grin. "Thanks, Ms. Z!"

~L~

Casey sat in an empty room in the theater building at a table, opposite Tinker, that relatively creepy online-blogger-slash-school-newspaper-reporter. "How does it feel to be just a sophomore," he opened the interview as he held a small microphone to his mouth, "And get the lead in a musical?"

"It's an honor," Casey said with a grin. "Frankly, one I feel I've earned. If there's one thing I've learned in my sixteen years on the stage is that stars are rare, and when they're found, you have to let them shine."

Tinker stopped the recording and set down the microphone shakily, "Show me your bra," he said bluntly.

"You mean the one I'm wearing?" Casey questioned, puzzled and rather off-put.

"Quid pro quo, Casey," Tinker said as he made a point of staring at her chest. "You want a good review? Show me your over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder."

"No way, you can't do that! Besides," she began confidently. "My performance will stand on its own, no one reads the school paper anyway, _and _it's not even a school musical."

"Oh, but I'll post my scathing review online," he said with a small smirk that didn't quite look right on his childish, nervous face. "You'll be finished on the stage. Now, get those sweater puppies out of their cashmere cage."

"Ugh," Casey growled, standing up and gathering her things to leave, but Sandy burst in.

"Sorry I'm late," he apologized. "My Vespa had a flat. Give me a minute and I'll be ready for my interview."

"We're actually not gonna need any quotes from you for the article Mister Ryerson," Tinker explained anxiously as he picked up his recorder hurriedly. "Do the right thing, all the great actresses take their clothes off."

"Well," Sandy began as he put an arm around Tinker's shoulders, leading him out. "I have no problem with nudity. Let me tell you about my planned production of Equus. Have you ever hung out at a stable?"

The two left the room and Casey shook her head, sitting down on the table. She moved her long, brown hair out of the way before peering down at her chest for a moment. "Hey," she heard a voice. "What are you doing?"

She looked up and her eyes widened as she saw Ralph standing in the entrance of the room. "I, uh, nothing," she stuttered. "What are you doing here?"

"I just thought I'd pop by to see you," Ralph grinned. "I knew you had rehearsal today, so… what's going on?"

"Just getting the star treatment I didn't get in glee."

"Totally," Ralph agreed, and Casey was surprised by his support.

"It's times like these where I know I've chosen the right path," Casey explained. "I'm never going back to glee, its clear my talent is too big for an ensemble."

"You're not gonna get an argument from me," Ralph said as he walked up to her with his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, sitting down on the table next to her.

"I'm not?" Casey questioned quietly.

"No, you're like, the most talented person I know," he said, and even though he had less than honorable intentions in seeing her, he meant it. "Even more than the guy at the mall who can juggle chainsaws. I just wanted to let you know that if you need someone to run lines with, I'm available."

"There is a lot of dialogue," Casey said with a slow, mesmerized nod.

He stood back up, "Figure we could go somewhere quiet, maybe with," he shrugged. "Low lighting. Let me know."

Ralph turned around and Casey waved, though he didn't see him. The smile on his face faded and he walked out of the room feeling angry at himself for leading her on.

~L~

Kathy sat at a chair in Paul's office with a manila folder against her chest, wrapped in her arms like it was a child and she was its mother. "I could get fired for this," she said in some tiny hope that maybe, just maybe, he'd change his mind.

"She was a student fifteen years ago, no one is gonna care," Paul reasoned, holding his hand out for the folder. She handed it too him with both hands, but he practically had to pry it away from her. "I knew it! She never graduated, she quit with like, three credits to go."

"How did you even think of this?" Kathy questioned in an effort to get her mind of off all the different ways (there were twenty six so far) she could be fired for doing this.

"I was a restaurant," Paul answered as he flipped through the folder. "And I realized that the waiter was this kid I had in my Spanish class _ages _ago, as it turns out that Vocal Adrenaline's school keeps flunking him because he's the only one who can do a backflip. How awful is that? But it reminded me of April Rhodes, and I remembered that nobody saw her at her year's graduation."

"Oh, I understand," Kathy mused. "I saw her picture in the folder. …Pretty."

"Pretty?" Paul echoed, looking up from the folder. "April Rhodes was a _goddess_, the most talented performer in McKinley High Glee Club _history_! When she sang, it was mesmerizing. She was my first crush. I was a freshman, she was a senior."

"Well, hold on a second," Kathy said, recalling a previous conversation about his wife as Paul studied the folder. "I thought you said your wife was your first crush."

"Yeah, that's because April didn't even look at me," Paul admitted with a light chuckle. "Aw, crap, there's no forwarding address."

"So, then you've had feelings for someone other than your wife-"

"Kathy," Paul began as politely as he could while he opened the apple laptop on his desk, "I'd love to play 'This Is Your Life', but Lord Google demands my attention."

Kathy stood up from her seat and gained his attention, "O-okay, just hold on hold on hold on," she said quickly, tripping over her words. "Um, reaching back into your past is a dangerous business, okay? People can change, they can disappoint you-"

"I think I can handle it,"

"I thought I could too! Just hear me out, hear me out. A few years ago, I started an online flirtation with a high school flame, Andy. Things got weird and I called it off and two months later," she paused heavily. "Versace was dead... dead."

"…'Kay," Paul said and he began to type, "April Rhodes, London, Ohio. Oh, she has a MySpace page!"

"Oh, god," Kathy sighed, burying her face in her hands as she circled the desk to see the screen of his laptop.

"And it has a link to her own personal website. She's online!" Paul spotted a guest page and he typed a short message."Hi, April. Not sure if you remember me, but my name is Paul Greeby."

April quickly replied, "Thirty-five Bontempo Road, between two and three," Kathy read, and Paul laughed jovially. "Bring buffalo wings."

~L~

Paul pulled up to the address he was told in that clunker of a blue Honda he loved so much and saw a house that would fit in with the houses of the rich, famous, and residing in Los Angeles. He opened his car door and stared in awe of the house. He walked to the door and rang the doorbell, where a girl in a dress with short blonde hair approached. "April?"

"Are you Paul?" she asked with a red cup in her hand and a slur in her voice. The smell of her breath made Paul think that that it was _not _water.

"You remember me?" Paul asked, very taken aback.

"No," April admitted with a slowed, drunken voice. "But I don't remember breakfast. Come on in!"

The blonde girl ushered him inside by pulling on his tie and he peered around the extravagant house that was just as beautiful on the outside as it was on the outside. He didn't _remember _her being a drunk before, or even a rebellion. "So," April began. "Did I sleep with you?"

"Uh, I was a freshman when you were a senior,"

"So," she repeated. "Did I sleep with you?"

"No," Paul said uncomfortably – Kathy was right, people _can _disappoint you.

"Can I get you a drink?" April asked, swirling her red cup around, but she headed away towards the kitchen before he could reply. "I just cracked open a fresh box of wine."

"This is a great place you have," he said politely. "Looks like you're doing well for yourself."

"I get about five or six appointments a day from my world-wide web page, so I do okay by myself," she laughed as she popped back in from the kitchen with a matching red glass, handing it to Paul. "Why don't you have a seat, take off that jacket, and I'm gonna slip into something a little more _comfortable_."

"Uh," Paul stumbled over his words, not sure how to handle the drunken, middle-aged woman. But then, they heard the door open and three people walked in, a young couple with what appeared to be a real estate agent.

"So, this is a _beautiful_ five bedroom with a wood burning fireplace and-" the woman said to the young couple, but when she turned around and spotted April, her eyes widened. "You! This is the third time this week!"

"Uh," Paul began. "Who are you?"

"I'm Sandy with Oak Crest Real Estate, and she is a squatter," she told Paul, gesturing to April. "This is a bank-owned property, the owners foreclosed six months ago!"

"Let me just get my Vino and I'll be outta your hair," April said as she handed Paul her drink as he stood there, feeling rather embarrassed. April scurried into the kitchen and Paul smiled awkwardly.

"Nice place," he said.

April and Paul left the house _and _the angry real estate agent, sitting on the sidewalk without any words spoken while April filled her glass with the boxed wine that sat between them.

"Can I ask you a question?" Paul asked.

"Yeah," April said as she sipped on her wine.

"What happened to you, April? In high school, you were really going places," he said, recalling the girl who wore sweaters and conservative jeans. "You had a voice like a dream, everyone loved you!"

"Oh, I went down the wrong path," she said with a light hearted laugh. "Me and my high school sweetheart Vinnie were convinced we were going to be stars, so we dropped out school and hitchhiked our way to the _Broadway_. And we wound up in Cleveland slinging hash at Cory's Bait Shop and Waffle House... Cory had an affair with Vinnie, I had a set of mix raced twins."

"April, I think your struggle is really moving," Paul said honestly, nodding. "And I wanna help you get back on your feet. I happen to know that you're only three credits shy of your diploma. I can put you in my computer class, and I know you're an amazing singer; I want you to be in the glee club. We'll get you sobered up... and buy you some underwear. It's not too late for you, April. What do you say?"

April looked at Paul, and with one final swig of her drink, she splashed it onto the asphalt.

~L~

"Guys, I'd like to introduce you to someone very special. This is April Rhodes," Paul introduced her, and she waved enthusiastically. "She's our newest member."

"Wait," Ralph started, his face twisted up. "Old people can join glee club now?"

"Old, huh?" April countered. "You guys look like the world's worst Benetton ad."

Noel raised his hand slightly, but spoke freely, "Paul? This seems like a _terrible _idea."

"April is a great singer, and she never graduated," he defended his new student as Derek waggled his eyebrows at her, not unnoticed by April, who winked in return.

"We appreciate what you're trying to do," Emily said towards Paul. "But she's no Casey."

"Who's Casey?" April asked, ready for a showdown if the opportunity presented itself.

"She's kind of our star," Sam provided.

"Your star, eh?" April sniffed. "Then where is she?"

"She left to be the lead in Cabaret," Sheldon explained bitterly.

April laughed and shrugged off her jacket, tossing it into Paul's arms. "Hey, Tinkles," she said. "Gimme Maybe This Time in B flat, and don't let me catch you snoozin'."

He began to tap on the keys of the piano, playing the introduction of the song. "Maybe this time," April sang. "I'll be lucky… maybe this time he'll stay."

Her voice already held promise, and the glee kids watched on doubtfully, but with intrigue. "Maybe this time, for the first time," her voice was smooth and calm. "Love won't hurry or wait. He will hold me fast, I'll be home at last…"

"Not a loser anymore like the last time," she sang, a moment of showing off the power in her voice. "Or the time before."

Not too far away, rehearing for her play, Casey sang the same words April did. "Everybody loves a winner, so nobody loved me!"

"Lady peaceful, lady happy," they sang together, it didn't matter the walls and even buildings between them. "That's what I long to be!"

"All the odds are, they're in my favor, something's bound to give in!"

They saw themselves in the song in different ways. One was about to seize the stardom she had once, one was about to seize it for the first time.

"It's gotta happen, happen sometime,"

But they sang the song in the same way.

"Maybe this time I'll win,"

They sang it like they meant it.

They both finished the final lines of the song, both ending the song in a loud, high-pitched, well-controlled bang. And in the choir room, eleven slack-jawed faces stared back at her, and one of them was Sheldon Shlepper, weeping like a newborn child. "Stick that in your pipe and smoke it," April said as she adjusted the strap of her dress.

~L~

"April!" Paul called the following day as he sprinted after her, having spotted her walking out of the girl's bathroom. She turned around to face him.

"Hey, Paul," she smiled. "How are your little slack-jawed chipmunks?"

"Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk to you about," Paul said, though he didn't smile. "...Look, April, I've been talking to the glee kids, and uh, I think they're still not sure about having you around. You draw a lot of attention to yourself, and they're embarrassed enough as it is. So, do you think you could maybe take some time to try to win them over?"

April listened to what he had to say and she nodded. She had more than a few ideas…

~L~

April peered over her shoulder for any signs of Paul or other teachers as she handed Sheldon a container she had in her backpack filled with… well, let's just say it wasn't hot chocolate. "It smells like my Aunt Mildred," Sheldon said in slight disgust as he got a whiff of the strong-smelling stuff.

"Just drink it," she said, and he took a sip, making a face.

"Sweet," he said. "With a bit of an after burning taste."

"Oh, good Sherry should always have a little bite, a few swigs of that in the morning before school and you'll have all the courage you need to be," she paused to pinch his cheek, catching him quite off guard. "Yourself."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah!" April reassured him, and he shook his head in disbelief, but he kept drinking.

"That's fantastic," Sheldon sipped on his drink a little more, and when Paul asked him about April later that day, he was decidedly in adoration of her.

~L~

Kendra and Emily walked with exaggerated hand movements and tiny steps across the choir room before two heads of cabbage fell out from under their skirts. "Ah, no," April scolded. "You've gotta be more natural!"

"I can't do this," Emily said with a heavy sigh.

"I don't understand why we're doing this in the first place," Kendra hissed with a hand on her hip.

"Your lack of imagination astounds me, this is only the beginning," April insisted. "If you can master this, you can sneak anything out of a store between your knees! Shoes, prom dresses... I almost got a cake out of a kid's birthday party with the candles still lit."

When that didn't work, April decided to go with the one thing girls will always be in favor of… _jewelry_. When Kendra and Emily told Paul that they wanted her to stay, they said it with diamonds on. And her method with the hockey boys? She snuck her way into the locker room after practice. That Derek kid wasn't half bad, in several very different ways.

~L~

"What good is sitting alone in your room?" Casey sang vibrantly as Sandy watched her disdainfully.

"This is terrible," he hissed.

"Come hear the music play," she continued with her head held high.

"This is a disaster!"

"Life is a cabaret old chum," her voice didn't falter, though her face fell slightly when he shouted 'Boring!' at her. "Come to the cabaret!"

"No, no, no, no, no!" Sandy screeched unhappily as he stomped his foot with each angry, frustrated syllable.

"I don't know what you want," Casey grumbled as she tried to remain as calm as humanly possible.

"Well, I know what I don't want, and it is all of this," he gestured to her. "When I gave you this part, I thought you could handle, but clearly you can't. What this show needs is a star with a little bit more maturity!"

"I know what you're trying to do," she said, looking him square in the eyes. "You're trying to get me to quit so you can be the star. Well, it won't work, I'm not going anywhere."

She walked away, leaving Sandy's face red with embarrassment and anger.

~L~

"I'm sleeping with him," Casey said.

"So am I," Ralph returned, then scrunched up his nose. "This play is weird."

"That's Mister Ryerson's favorite line," she told him, clutching the script in her hand as they stood in the choir room. She really had it for Ralph, even though she _knew _she shouldn't. She couldn't help it, there was something so sweet about him, and even though it was probably better for her to stay away considering he was taken, she just liked being around him either way. She believed that she had the strength not to act upon her feelings, but not the will to stay away from him. "You're a really good actor, Ralph, maybe you should consider joining the musical."

"Well, I'm pretty devoted to glee, I don't think I could just walk away from it," he said, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans shyly. "I know how hard it was for you. _But, _I could justify doing both if you came back, but we both know that's not gonna happen. Do you know what we should do?"

"Elope?"

"What?"

"Nothing,"

"We should go bowling," he continued. "You're always so stressed out about the play, you just need to loosen up. I always go bowling whenever I'm worked up about a big game or somethin'."

"Just us?" Casey asked gently, and she forgot her ambitions of remaining the bigger person between her and Sally.

"Yeah," he smiled, and Casey nodded slightly.

"Yeah, that would be great," she agreed. "I am really stressed out, but that's the price you pay for being a star."

The two heard the door to the choir room open and shut. When they looked back, April and Paul were walking in, "Don't I know it," she agreed with Casey.

"Hey, Casey," Paul said towards Casey with a friendly smile. "April Rhodes, Casey McDonald. You mind giving us the room, Casey? We need to teach April the cues for Don't Stop Believing."

"Wait, she's singing the female lead?" Ralph asked.

"Wait, she's in glee club?" Casey asked over his question, her eyebrows stitching. "She's ancient."

"Talent doesn't age, sweetheart," April snarked with a hefty grin.

"That's Casey's part, Paul," Ralph said towards him, but Paul merely shrugged.

"Well," he began. "Casey's not in the glee club anymore."

And she missed it. It hurt to think, so she would never say it, but she wished that she hadn't quit. Nevertheless, she was in the musical now, and there was no turning back… sometimes, as a star, you need to make difficult choices, and this was one of them, so there would be no thinking like that. "Thanks, Ralph," she said as she picked up everything she'd brought in with her, walking quickly towards the door, but Paul called her back.

"We're all really excited to see the play," he said supportively. He may not be his star glee club student anymore, but he still wished her well. "Make sure you save us a seat in the front row."

Casey nodded quietly and left the room, but she stayed behind the door, watching and listening for a moment as April and Ralph did scales. But she decided that she didn't want to watch anymore, because the more she saw what she was missing desperately, the more she'd want to go back down that road.

~L~

Sheldon did not feel good. His eyes were puffy and he felt like someone was taking the largest hammer they could find and bashing it against his head, while every sound in the halls was like a loudspeaker in his ears.

Kathy walked past him and smiled her hellos, but she smelled something funny as she walked by, so she stopped and walked back to him, "Sheldon? Hi," she said, and Sheldon thought somewhere in the back of his head that she was yelling really loudly and that was not polite. "Sheldon, I'm a girl who knows her solvents and your breath smells like rubbing alcohol."

"Oh, Bambi," Sheldon slurred helplessly, "I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy."

Before Kathy could question Sheldon's sanity, he knelt down and was one of the many victims of drunkenness – vomiting. Poor Kathy was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

~L~

Kathy walked into the teacher's lounge with her shoulders tensed as she walked stiffly over to Paul, who sat at a table with papers scattered around him. "Hey, Kath," he said distractedly. "Just trying to work out the setlist for Saturday…"

"I just got back from the emergency room," she said, and Paul looked up in concern. "Had them give me four decontamination showers. I think they call that the full silkwood."

"What happened?"

"Sheldon was drunk and he ralphed on me," she explained shortly. "Not exactly fessing up on how he got the booze just yet, but I'm pretty sure it's not a fake ID because he looks like an eleven-year-old milkmaid. Paul, I think it was April. Her backpack's always clinkin' with empties."

"I'm so sorry," Paul said apologetically. "I'll talk to him."

"Okay," Kathy began, ready to spill some things that she'd been thinking for a while. "I'm a little worried about the glee club."

"So am I," Paul sighed. "I mean, if we don't place at regionals, it's all over."

He just wasn't getting it; she was going to have to explain this to him like he was five. Kathy sat down and looked at him sternly but with a friendly air about her. "We have obligations as teachers, Paul," she explained. "To give kids opportunities for growth and enrichment. With April in glee, you're taking away a kid's chance to grow and giving it to someone whose brain is soaked in corn booze."

"April's not finished, Kathy," he defended April, but moreover, himself. "And if glee's going to win, I need to give her a second chance. She is a talented performer, and I really think that the kids are going to learn a lot of valuable technique from her."

"Okay, but I think you need to think about why you're doing this, and what you're willing to sacrifice to get it," she said bluntly before standing up and leaving the teacher's lounge. She was the only one who was going to talk sense into him, and he needed it.

~L~

Tears rolled down Casey's cheeks as her eyes puffed up and her nose became red, using a napkin to try to dry her eyes while her shoulders shook and her breath grew ragged. Just moments earlier, she had been at an extra rehearsal that she had insisted on as she was almost always early for school, just so she could get a little more practice. But that particular morning, Mister Ryserson had yelled at her, told her that she sucked and demanded that she leave. She had cried all the way to school. It was more of a collection of his attempts to thwart her efforts, rather than one particular thing he had said.

April waltzed into the bathroom and walked up to the sink next to her, plopping her purse down on the edge of the sink. "Aw," she cooed. "Rough day at the office, cookie?"

"I've just got a lot on my plate," Casey sniffled. "It's not easy being in the spotlight. It's the difficult road I've chosen."

"Yeah, I know that song, sister," April sympathized lightly, digging eyeliner out of her purse. "Um, do you have any Nyqil? I could use a pick-me-up."

Casey shook her head gently, and April shrugged, relining her eyes. "These high school boys are a lot hotter than they used to be," she giggled. "That Ralph Papadopoulos is one cutie pie I gots my eye on!"

"Ralph's taken, April," Casey informed her. If she – a hormone ridden sixteen year old – could control herself, so could April.

"Yeah, well," she sighed. "Some guys like a little somethin'-somethin' on the side."

"I think your behavior is totally inappropriate and your presence in this school is a complete travesty," Casey bit back angrily. "What you choose to do with your life is your own business, but don't go around screwing up everyone else's."

"I'm not afraid of you, sweetie. There was a time when I was the biggest star around here," April told her. "And now that I've got that back, I'm never letting it go."

The blonde grabbed her purse and hummed as she left the bathroom, and Casey watched her leave before looking herself in the mirror and recomposing herself.

~L~

Bowling alleys. The center for all that is pure, unadulterated, loud fun. …And germs.

"Do I have to put my fingers in the holes?" Casey questioned as she stared down at the selection of bowling balls. Think of the things that could be in there; swine flu, seasonal flu, norovirus, common colds! "Couldn't there be diseases in there?"

"Ah, no, ball sharing is all part of the fun," Ralph waved her off, and then he picked up a bright pink bowling ball. "Here, use the pink one. Pink's your favorite color, right?"

Casey nodded lightly as she grabbed it from his hands, looking down the alley and then back at Ralph. "Now what?"

"Follow my lead," he said, leading her closer to the lane as he stood behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Okay, so, just look at the pins, nice and straight."

Casey made a feeble, failing attempt and tossing the ball down the lane, and it almost immediately went into the gutter, taking it's time getting to the end, too. Ralph chuckled, "You sure this is your first time?"

On the other end of the alley, Paul had decided to take April out bowling, hoping to talk to her in a lighter setting as opposed to his office. He didn't want to trap her or make her feel bad, but he let himself have fun while he was there anyway.

April rolled the ball down the lane and every last pin fell. She jumped, and Paul cheered. "April!" he grinned, laughing. "You see what you can accomplish sober?"

"Sober?" April snorted. "I'm rolling on a fistfull of horse tranquilizers, I can't feel my lips! Oh, you know, I think I'm going to keep these shoes."

Paul's face fell as April sat down next to him, and he decided that now was the time to talk.

"April, I brought you here because I needed to talk to you,"

"Okay," April said, straightening up somewhat.

"I'm concerned that you're a bad influence on the glee club," he said, his voice serious but not rude. "I can't have you around if you're going to keep encouraging them to make bad choices."

April nodded weakly, "You're right," she agreed, handing him her drink after taking a look at it. "Paul... as of right now, I'm back on the wagon."

"Really? That's great," Paul enthused. "I have to tell you something… I was in awe of you in high school. I mean, of all the roads I never traveled in life, one of the ones I regret the most is not getting the chance to sing with you."

"Really?" April asked, gaping.

"Yeah," Paul insisted. "I mean, that's how you get better, you know? Singing with people who are better than you."

"You really thought that much of me?"

"April," Paul smiled. "You are the _reason _I joined glee club."

"So, your dream was always to sing with me, huh?" she grinned mischievously.

"Yeah," Paul admitted shyly.

"Well, then, come on," April said, grabbing his wrist and pulling him out of his seat.

"What?"

"Come on!"

They payed for their games and April may or may not have stolen some bowling shoes underneath her skirt. She directed him to the nearest karaoke bar, because after all, she knew the best ones in town. April switched on the karaoke machine on her own, and the bar tender called, "Hey, April! Karaoke is on Wednesdays, tonight's bingo!"

"Shut your gravy hole, Barry," April hissed into the microphone, handing the second microphone to Paul.

"Hey guys," he said, waving. "Happy gambling!"

The clichéd, altered for karaoke, instrumental version of 'Alone' came on, and April took the first few lines, "I hear the ticking of the clock," she sang. "I'm lying here, the room's pitch dark. I wonder where you are tonight, no answer on the telephone… and the night goes by so very slow, and I hope that it won't end all alone."

"'Till now, I always got by on my own," April sang as Paul joined in. "I never really cared until I met you!"

"And now it chills me to the bone," they sang. "How do I get you alone?"

"How do I get you alone?" Paul echoed.

"How do I get you alone?" they sang together as their small, probably tipsy audience grinned and clapped. "Alone!"

~L~

"This is really good pizza," Casey mused as she swallowed a bite of the large pepperoni pizza on the table near their bowling game while Ralph sipped on his almost-empty soda.

"Yeah," Ralph agreed. "I think they import the pepperoni from like, Michigan or something."

Casey smiled half heartedly, and looked at him coyly, "How's glee?" she asked.

"Oh, well, everybody misses you,"

"They miss my talent," Casey corrected, shaking her head gently.

"No, we're your friends," Ralph said as he set his soda aside. "We just miss having you around."

"I love glee," she said honestly. "I just don't see the point in wasting my energy on some place I'm not appreciated."

"I appreciate you," he said with a small smile. He saw the pink bowling ball roll into the ball return and he stood up to grab it for her. "It's your last ball. Just like the first time except… better."

Casey grinned and stood up, grabbing the bowling ball from his hands. She held it up to his face and kissed it for good luck before sloppily clunking it down onto the lane. Miraculously, the bowling ball went all the way down the lane and knocked over every pin. Ralph's jaw fell and Casey jumped up and down, cheering before turning to him and throwing her arms around his neck.

Casey pulled back from his arms and her smile faded. She gently placed her hands on his shoulders and stood on her toes, pressing her lips to his, and he didn't exactly fight the matter, his hands tightening around her waist, where they'd been when she hugged him. She reeled back and looked at him, waiting for _that talk _about how inappropriate she was being because he had a girlfriend, but it never happened.

"Come back to glee," Ralph pleaded.

"What about Sally?"

"I don't know what's gonna happen in the future," Ralph said meekly. "I just know I want to spend more time with you now."

"I'll have to quit the play," Casey said in realization. There was no way she could balance glee, school _and _the musical. Ralph panicked for a moment, because he knew how much the musical meant to her… but he needed her there. To be honest, he kind of missed her being there. She noticed the look on his face and quickly blurted out, with a smile, "I'll do it!"

Ralph laughed slightly and hugged her tightly, and wondered how long he could keep the fact that his _girlfriend _was _pregnant _from her.

~L~

"Maybe," Sheldon began as the glee kids hunkered together around the piano in the choir room. "Sally is lactose intolerant."

"That doesn't explain all the crying," Noel pointed out.

"Maybe she just doesn't like the group," Sam pitched.

"Are you all _that_ stupid? Seriously, I bet you thought that Bert and Ernie were just roommates," Derek piped up from his seat, his guitar in his hands, and Emily made a face. "_Maybe_, Sally's got one in the oven!"

"Who's the baby's dad?" Emily asked, slightly believing the idea.

"Who do you think?" Derek scoffed. "Ralph!"

Sheldon gasped while the rest of the group pondered the idea. No one had enough thought process to spare to be shocked when Casey walked in with a large bounce in her step and a grin on her face, "Yes, you have heard right, I'm returning to glee club," she said loudly. Derek rolled his eyes and walked away, because really? He needed a break from her and her annoying ways, annoying perfect voice and annoying pretty face. He left, because if he was in the same room as her, he may have had to shoot himself for several different reasons. "In lieu of flowers, please send all donations to a socially conscious charity of your choice."

"This is a disaster," Emily whispered to Sheldon, Sam and Noel.**  
**

"Uh, I'm sorry, I thought I'd be welcomed back with a _tad_ more enthusiasm," Casey hissed.

"Sorry," Sheldon said distractedly. "Glee club has just been rocked with its first scandal."

Casey looked at him questioningly, "Sally's knocked up," Emily offered. The wheels began turning in Casey's head, because if Sally was pregnant, then the only logical father would be…

"And the baby daddy?" Sheldon smirked. "Ralph."

~L~

"I just wanted to drop off the application for that scholarship you were tellin' me about," Ralph said with a large smile on his face as he dropped the paperwork onto Kathy's desk. "I got Casey to come back to glee, so I figure we have a real shot at it."

"I'm so proud of you," Kathy said happily as she reached for the application. "See what you can accomplish when you set your mind to it?"

Ralph nodded enthusiastically and stepped out of her office. He felt great, he might actually have a chance of getting to college now, and he already felt better that he knew that if that happened, he'd be able to provide for the little boy or girl he was going to have. He might not look like the type, but he really didn't want to let anybody down.

"Ralph!" he heard someone call, but when he turned around, he felt his head turn to the left and his right cheek stinging.

"You're a liar," Casey growled. "Why didn't you tell me Sally was pregnant?"

Busted.

"Who told you?" Ralph asked, looking over his shoulder nervously.

"Everyone knows but me," Casey said angrily. She felt hurt and lied to, and it wasn't a good feeling. "I'm the only fool who went out with you and let you _kiss _me thinking you actually had feelings for me!"

"But I-I do," Ralph stuttered. "Yeah, I haven't been totally honest with you, but that's different than lying, only it's not that much different, but look, I need to get a music scholarship so I can go to college so I can get a good job so I can take care of my kid and I can't do that if you don't come back to glee club. You should take it as a compliment..."

Casey shook her head, "You could've just been honest with me,"

"Look," Ralph sighed. "I know what I did was wrong, but that kiss was real."

"Whatever it was it ruined any chance of me ever coming back to glee," Casey said, closing her eyes for a moment in exasperation. "I hope you have fun playing house with Sally while you languish in your little ensemble but _my _dreams are bigger than that, and they're bigger than you!"

Casey turned on her heel with her arms crossed and walked away quickly. As if it wasn't bad enough that she was embarrassed and heartbroken, now she didn't even have the musical.

She had nothing, and she couldn't live like that. Farther down the hallway, she spotted Ryan, ripping down the glee club posters. "Mister Sylvester," she said smackily, trying to gain his attention with her attitude, and he placed the poster back on the wall quickly. "I know you have pull with Mister Ryerson, and I want you to tell him that if he'd like me to return to the musical, changes have to be made."

"Well, Casey, I couldn't agree with you more," Ryan said. "You know, when I heard Sandy wanted to write himself into a scene as Queen Cleopatra, I was confused, then furious. I hereby grant you complete artistic control, I'll make _sure _he agrees, don't worry. Congratulations, kiddo, you know have everything you could possibly want! 'Innit a great feeling?"

Casey nodded as the wide smile on her face grew faker and faker as the seconds ticked by. Ryan brushed past her, and she let it fall… she _didn't _have everything she could possibly want.

~L~

The kids were all in their costumes on the day of the invitationals, doing vocal warm ups and scales with Tinkles when Paul burst back into the room after going to take a look at the audience. "The house is _packed_! You guys are gonna kick butt tonight," he enthused. "Your first performance in front of a real audience, I can't wait! You guys are gonna love it! Where's April?"

"Yee-haw! Hahaha, right on cue as usual," April said with a slur in her voice, walking up to each of the glee kids and saying her hellos in forms of 'handsome', 'I like that color' and a quick lip lock with Derek. Oh, and pinching Sheldon's nose like he was a six year old. "There's my boy."

"Are you drunk?" Paul asked, appalled as he pulled her away from the kids. "You promised me you'd sober up for this!"

"When, last night?" April questioned. "Well, I was drunk, you can't hold me to that!"

Paul didn't know what to think… on one hand, he thought that she might genuinely stick to her promise. On the other hand, what was he expecting from a girl who somehow got her hands on _horse tranquilizers_? He turned to see Kathy, and she ushered him out into the hallway.

"April Rhodes almost ran me over in the parking lot just now, Paul," she said once they were in the hall, and Paul sighed exasperatedly. "You can't let her go on in her condition."

"There is an auditorium filled with people waiting to see us perform," Paul attempted to reason. "And if she doesn't go on, none of the kids can."

"Wow," Kathy began, with a slight air of sarcasm in her voice. "It's really great how committed you are to these kids."

~L~

"And now, ladies and gentlemen," Principle Lassiter began as he stood on stage with the curtains closed. "Please welcome McKinley High School's New Directions!"

The auditorium cheered while the red curtains drew back, revealing a country-like backdrop with all the glee kids in cowboy costumes, all matching in black except for April's hot pink outfit. "Last night I got served a little bit too much of that poison baby," April sang as she took off her hat, spinning it into the crowd. "Last night I did things I'm not proud of and I got a little crazy!"

"Last night I met a guy on the dance floor," her voice was loud through the auditorium, and she emitted a few giggles when she groped two of the glee guys' backsides. "And I let him call me baby…"

"And I don't even know his last name," they all sang, performing the choreography well and with personality. "My mama would be so ashamed.

"It started out, 'hey cutie, where you from?'" the group sang. "And then it turned into 'oh no, what have I done?'"

"And I don't even know his last name!"

When the song ended, the whole room grew louder and louder with applause and whistles. And, standing in the midst of the happy, cheering audience, Casey stood there with a weak clap. Maybe they were done with her… maybe, even if she wanted to, she wouldn't be able to go back.

~L~

Paul leaned against the wall outside of the girls bathroom. After a moment, April left and Paul confronted her, "I need to talk to you,"

"Oh, sorry, lady needed to tinkle," April said with a laugh. "Come on, act two!"

"No, I can't let you go back out there," Paul said firmly. "You broke a promise."

April looked up and him and nodded. She felt ashamed, really, and needed to say a few things.

"You're right, it was a great moment for me, but it didn't feel right. I don't belong up there," She said with a sad smile. "But everybody deserves their moment in the spotlight, you know, to shine. Oh, I got that standing ovation, Paul, and it felt _amazing_, like every bad decision I ever made just went away... I was back in the game. But then I look over and I see these sweet faces of these kids, and I think, I'm hoggin' their sunshine. It's their turn now, not yours. They're so lucky to have you, Paul, because you won't let what happen to me _ever _happen to any of them."

Tears welled up in April's eyes as she thought back on all the bad things she had done, all the wrong decisions that she made. She looked down and placed her hands on her hips, willing her eyes to dry themselves.

"So," Paul began. "Where are you gonna go?"

"Well, I-I'm gonna straighten up, maybe try to find a new dream. You know, I always loved Broadway," April winked. "Do you think there's a part out there for a washed-up has-been like me?"

"April, you are not washed up," Paul insisted, placing a hand on her shoulder. "And hey, there's always Branson."

"Paul, Paul, Paul," April cooed, pressing up to kiss his cheek and then give him a light, friendly hug.

"Thank you," Paul said graciously.

"Oh," she said, pulling back. "No, no, no…"

She mouthed 'thank you', and made her exit, walking down the hallway. "Branson, eh?"

~L~

"Where's April?" Sam asked as Paul entered the choir room with an odd lack of drunken blonde performers.

"You were right, Paul," Sheldon started. "She'd _massacre _Mariah in a diva-off."

"April is amazing, but she's not in the glee club anymore," Paul announced, and the energy in the room lessened noticeably. "I, uh, I screwed up bringing her here. It was about me, and glee club is _supposed _to be about you guys. You don't need her to be great."

"But we need her for the second act," Emily pointed out, already beginning to worry.

"I'll just have to go out there and tell them that we had to cut the second act short," Paul said sadly, but he held his head up high. "Guys, you were _great_! Don't worry, there will be other performances."

But a small figure entered from the door, with a quiet, "Excuse me?"

"I think I might have a solution," Casey walked in further, past Paul. "In show business, when a star can't make it to a performance, her understudy steps in. I'd be happy to go on for April if you'd let me."

"Since when are _you _willing to be an understudy?" Emily asked bitterly.

"Since I quit the play," Casey replied.

"Really?" Sheldon questioned. "Why?"

"I realized being a star didn't make me feel as special as being your friend," she confessed. "If I let you down when you needed me the most, I'd never forgive myself... I know all the words to the song."

"You don't know the choreography," Sally said from her spot next to Ralph.

"Then we're gonna have to give her a lot of help out there," he said, smiling at Casey.

"Go get in your costume," Paul said with a smile towards Casey. It was great to have her back.

~L~

Paul moved his way past the crowd of people, trying to find the seat Kathy had saved for him. She looked up at him briefly when he found her, and he nodded in acknowledgement. Soon, the curtains opened…

"Can," Ralph sang the first note. "Anybody… find me somebody to love?"

"Oh, each morning I get up I die a little," Casey sang, her voice clear. Kathy looked over to Paul with her mouth wide open, and he merely grinned. "Can't barely stand on my feet!"

"Take a look in the mirror and cry," Ralph sang, "Lord, what're you doin' to me?"

"I spent all my years believing you, but I just can't get no relief, lord," Casey sang. "Somebody, oh somebody!"

"Can anybody find me somebody to love?" The group sang.

"Got no fear," Ralph sang as the rest of the group executed the choreography in front of them. "I got no rhythm, I just keep losing my beat."

"I'm okay, I'm alright," Casey sang with a smile at Ralph, "I won't face no defeat!"

"I just gotta get out of this prison cell," they sang in unison, Ralph grabbing Casey's hand, "Someday I'm gonna be free, lord!"

The group went into their respective places and they each stomped their feet as they repeated, 'Find me somebody to love', and Kathy placed a hand over her heart in the audience.

"Can anybody find me," they sang as they arranged themselves into a line, and as Casey and Ralph looked at each other, they knew that all was forgiven. Emily walked up to the very front of the stage, and sang loud and clear,

"Somebody to love!"


	6. Vitamin D

"Five, six, seven, eight," Paul called as he demonstrated a new dance to the glee club. He continued to shout directions to the increasingly lethargic group. "Come _on_, guys," he finally groaned. "You're sleepwalking on me, here. We've got sectionals in a few week—"

"Please. Sectionals is gonna be a breeze," Emily interrupted confidently.

"Maybe so," Paul continued, "but if we coast through sectionals we're going to get killed at regionals. We've _got_ to be on our game." He pounded his fist into his palm to make his point, but the kids just looked bored. Noel stifled a yawn.

Sheldon burst out laughing, and Paul raised an eyebrow at him. "Sorry." Sheldon barely looked up from his cell phone. "Funny YouTube. It's a grape-stomping one."

Paul sighed. He knew they were proud of their invitationals performance from the week before, but this was ridiculous. They had to want to improve, if not for the competition, then just to get better as singers. He was disappointed in all of them.

~L~

"The kids have gotten really complacent," Paul griped to Kathy during lunch in the teachers' lounge. He took a bite of his sandwich, which left a glob of mustard on his chin. "It's like the fire has totally gone out."

"I'm," Kathy giggled. "I'm sorry, you've just, uh, got a little mustard on that cute little chin of yours."

Paul stuck his tongue out as far as it would go and licked underneath his mouth. "Gah it?" he asked, still wiggling his tongue around.

Kathy continued to giggle as she used her latex-gloved hand to wipe off the mustard. She left her thumb on his chin a little too long, and Paul stared intently at her. She blushed and removed her hand.

"Thanks, Kath."

"So, um," Kathy composed herself, trying to ignore her racing heart. "When did this start to happen?"

Paul rolled his eyes. "A week ago. I told them about the competition bracket for sectionals. You know, how there's only two other teams, the School for the Deaf in Dayton, and Jane Addams Academy."

"Uh-huh," Kathy nodded.

"Kendra laughed about Jane Addams being a halfway house for girls just out of juvie, and Noel said something like, 'People who can't hear what they're singing and criminals who don't care. It's gonna be a cakewalk.' They think they've got it in the bag, so they've simply stopped trying. I've got to figure out some way to motivate them."

Kathy thought for a moment. "Okay, well, how about a sticker board? That's how my parents got me to do chores when I was a kid."

Paul was unconvinced.

"You know, I do a chore, so I get a star…"

"Dear God, please. Please stop talking." Ryan was standing in the doorway, smirking. Paul and Kathy glared up at him from their seats at the table. "I'm trying desperately to ignore the treacly sweet inanity of your asinine conversation. But now I've got bile in my mouth."

Paul shook his head. "You're not even supposed to be in here, Ryan."

Ryan licked his lips. "Oh yeah? Who's gonna stop me? You?"

Paul stood, glaring daggers at the insufferable senior, but he decided against a fight and sat down. It wouldn't do anybody any good if he decked Ryan. He'd be out of a job, for one thing.

"That's what I thought," Ryan said smugly. "Do you know what this is?" He held up a clipboard with a sheet of paper on it. "This is a list of my Cheerios. Every week, I pick someone at random. And I kick 'em out."

"Yeah, well, in glee club we do things a little bit differently." Paul gritted his teeth.

"Oh yeah, Paul? How's that working out for ya?"

Paul didn't answer. He looked at Kathy, who gave him a sympathetic smile.

Ryan snorted. "In my experience, underclassmen need to be terrified. It's like mother's milk to them. Without it, their bones won't grow properly. So if you want results, find that competitive animal within…and unleash it." He spread his arms out. "Okay. I'm done here." He turned to leave. "Oh, and Kimberly, that shirt is just insane." With that, he was gone.

Kathy looked down at her yellow blouse. It had a big bow at the neck. Paul shrugged when she gave him a questioning look.

"I can't believe he's allowed to talk to us that way," she finally said.

"Yeah." Paul was lost in thought. As mean and terrifying as Ryan was, he had made some sense. "You know Kath, he may have a point."

Kathy sat up. "Really?"

Paul just nodded, already making plans in his head.

~L~

"Competition!" Paul announced at that afternoon's glee rehearsal. "You guys have become complacent. You were great at the invitational. But. You have to up your game if you want to get through sectionals."

The glee clubbers still looked bored. Ralph yawned. Paul pressed on.

"Okay. Guys on the left side, girls on the right side."

When no one moved, Paul made a "hurry up" motion with his hands. "Let's go. Come on!"

Casey moved over to the right side of the choir room, smiling beatifically at Paul. He was really glad to have her back in glee. She was still as big a pain as ever, but she was slowly becoming less of a diva. He had even seen her and Emily giggling about something by their locker, so he knew the other members had finally accepted her as one of their own.

It took the kids a little while to change positions, but when they finally stood where they were supposed to, Paul continued. "Here's the deal. Two teams. Boys versus girls. One week from today, you will each perform a mash-up of your choice."

Derek, who had thus far been daydreaming about April Rhodes throughout rehearsal, piped up, "What's a mash-up?"

Paul smiled. "A mash-up is when you take two songs and mash them together to make an even richer explosion of musical expression." Paul was delighted when Derek actually looked interested. "Boys perform on Tuesday; girls the next day. I want you guys to go all out, okay? Costumes, choreography. Whoever wins the competition gets to choose the number that we do for sectionals."

Everyone looked pretty excited about that, especially Casey. "Wait, who's going to be the judge?" she asked.

Paul cocked his head. He thought _he'd_ be the judge.

"Your gender makes you biased," Casey explained. Sally rolled her eyes and nudged Kendra, who made a face.

_Guess glee isn't the big happy family I'd envisioned_, Paul thought. "Ah," he answered, thinking quickly. "There's going to be a celebrity judge."

"Who?" Sam asked.

Paul smiled mysteriously. "You're going to have to show up to find out." He hoped the kids wouldn't be too disappointed to find out that he planned on asking Kathy.

"We've got this in the bag," Emily told the girls.

"Totally," Casey agreed. "I'm going to start storyboarding our choreography tonight."

The girls trooped out of the room, leaving the guys standing around, unsure of where to start.

"Hope you guys are up for this competition. The girls look pretty pumped," Paul told them as he turned to leave as well.

"We're planning on smacking them down like the hand of God," Noel assured him. Paul laughed.

Ralph swayed a little and yawned.

"Hey, you alright?" Paul asked, grabbing his elbow. "You seem a little out of it."

"I'm just a little worn out," Ralph replied, and Paul noticed his bleary eyes. He was about to request that they go talk in private, when Derek clapped Ralph on the shoulder.

"Come on, we're late for hockey practice."

Ralph followed Derek out of the room, and the rest of the guys exchanged worried glances.

It was obvious to everyone that Ralph wasn't sleeping very well. Paul wished he could do something to ease his mind, but it's not like he could remove the threat of his impending fatherhood. Paul decided he'd better tell Ralph about some relaxation techniques.

~L~

Ryan called Sally into his office after Cheerios practice. "You feeling alright, Albright?" he asked gruffly. She had been off her game lately, and it was jeopardizing Ryan's shot at nationals.

"I'm just really tired from glee club," Sally replied nervously.

Ryan pointed at the door. "I expect better next practice, even if you are tired. Winners don't need sleep! Get out."

Sally raced from the office and barely made it to the bathroom. This morning sickness stuff was getting really old.

"Glee club!" Ryan banged his fist on the desk. "Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab-eating mouth-breathers it only comes back stronger, like some sexually ambiguous horror movie villain," he said to no one in particular, stroking his chin. He had to keep trying, or all was lost.

~L~

The school nurse, Mrs. Lancaster, took a tumble down the stairs the next day. A couple of freshmen could have sworn they saw Ryan heading in the opposite direction just after she hit the ground. But of course, that wasn't good enough proof for Lassiter. So it was ruled an accident, and a new nurse was hired right away.

There wasn't even time for a proper background check or fingerprinting.

And this new nurse, Barbara Stanley, just so happened to be the second cousin of a certain cheerleading coach.

~L~

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

Paul settled himself in the chair opposite Kathy's desk. "Good news!" he smiled. "I figured out a way to get the kids motivated. They're going to compete against each other in a glee-off."

Kathy clasped her hands together. "Ooh, that's good!"

"And guess who the celebrity judge is going to be?"

Kathy's smile grew wider. "Me?"

"Of course! Who else?" Paul beamed back at her.

"Are you sure? Maybe your wife, someone who's not really involved…" Kathy trailed off. She was fishing, and she really, really hoped Paul couldn't see right through it. He hadn't talked about his wife in a long time, and she was curious. So sue her.

Paul grimaced. "She can't stand to hear me talk about glee. It's not her thing." Admitting that to Kathy saddened him, but it was also nice to get it off his chest. "She hasn't been very supportive."

"Ah." Kathy bit back a triumphant smile and tried to look sympathetic.

"I mean," Paul was quick to clarify, "she's busy. She's got her job at Linens 'n Things, and, well, you know…"

"It's okay, Paul. I didn't mean to pry. I'm sorry."

Paul shook his head. "Don't be sorry. It's just a busy time for both of us, that's all."

Kathy nodded. They sat in silence for a few moments.

"So, tell me more about the glee-off," she said finally.

~L~

Ralph was losing it. He was falling asleep in his classes, could barely stay upright during hockey, and was in a permanent fog.

The worst part was the guilt. He knew he was lucky; he was a hockey player, a glee stud. He should be excited about Sally. She was hot, popular, and carrying his baby, after all…but he couldn't stop thinking about Casey.

She kinda freaked him out, in a _Swimfan_ kind of way, but she could really sing. And her body was smokin'. (That is, if you're not into boobs.)

Ralph's body was a mess. He found a hair on his ear the other day. Was hair supposed to grow there? And he was going through a growth spurt, so his legs were killing him. He had to rub Biofreeze on his shins a couple of times a day, and it smelled really bad.

Being a fifteen-year-old guy was tough. Between glee and hockey and school and being popular, he was overwhelmed. Everyone wanted something from him, and he just didn't have the energy to do it all. He didn't know how important people, like presidents or newscasters or mob bosses, did it.

His grandma told him he was stretched too thin, so he gave up homework, but that didn't help. All he knew was that last night, he got gunned down on level two of _Halo 3_. Level two! He didn't even have the energy to care. He threw himself onto his bed, where he tossed and turned for the rest of the night.

~L~

"He's drooling," Sam remarked, staring at a comatose Ralph at glee the next day.

Derek strode over to Ralph's chair and said loudly, "Wake up!"

Ralph jolted upright. "Uh…sounds good." He wasn't sure what they had been talking about, but he knew he had probably missed something important.

Derek shook his head in disgust. "Rallllph."

"Sometimes when I'm thinking I like to close my eyes. I'm good, I swear."

Derek rolled his eyes. "I _said_, we can't let those girls beat us, right Sam?"

Sam looked askance at Derek. They hadn't exactly become friends again, but they got along well enough to perform together. Derek had been surprisingly nice to all of the guys ever since he joined glee. Sam wasn't sure if he had actually changed, or if it was all an act, but he was thankful that their interactions were drama-free. He nodded.

"Yeah. So where were we?" Ralph asked.

"We're doing a mash-up of 'It's My Life' and Usher's 'Confessions'," Noel explained.

"We should get some trash can lids, and stomp the yard up in this piece," Sheldon offered seriously.

"Sheldon, with respect, you're more helpful when you don't contribute," Derek snapped.

Sam sighed, but privately he agreed with Derek.

Ralph, meanwhile, had fallen back asleep.

Sam shook him. "You okay?"

"Uhhn," Ralph mumbled.

Derek clapped him on the shoulder. "You should go see the nurse. Every day, I say I have a headache, and I sleep for three hours. I haven't attended a math class in two years."

Ralph wiped the dried saliva from his chin and stood uneasily. "Thanks, guys. Keep up the good work." He trudged out of the room, bumping into the doorway as he went.

"I hope he remembers where the nurse's office _is_," Sam said worriedly.

Derek chuckled nervously, and met Sam's eyes. Each instantly looked away, but it could have been much more awkward than it was.

~L~

The girls' rehearsal was just as productive.

"Come on, we have to get to work," Casey whined, as she watched Kendra and Amy applying makeup in the mirror instead of stretching. "Where's Sally?"

"Probably down at the mall buying elastic-waist pants," Kendra snickered. She touched fingers with Amy and made a hissing sound to indicate a "burn."

Sandra and Emily giggled.

Casey ignored them. "Paul is right, you know. We can't get complacent."

Emily looked up from painting her nails. "Chills, Casey. I already picked the songs. We're doing a mash-up of 'Halo' and 'Walking on Sunshine'."

Casey's mouth dropped open. "That was _my_ idea."

"It doesn't matter," Emily insisted. "We can do this in our _sleep_. Do you think we're going to get _any_ competition from the guys?"

"Let's just wing it," Sandra agreed.

Casey could not believe their attitude. "We _can't_ just wing it!"

Kendra closed her makeup bag and turned to face Casey. "Let's be democratic about this. All those in favor of winging it?" There were a few mumbles of consent. "All those opposed?"

Casey reached her arm in the air as high as it would go and stared pleadingly at the girls.

"Looks like the ayes have it," Kendra smirked.

"Emily?" Casey asked hopefully, but knowing she'd already lost.

Emily shrugged. "Sorry, Case. We're right."

Casey put her hands in her pockets and stomped out of the room.

~L~

"May I help you?" Barbara Stanley asked as Ralph entered her office.

"Hi, I'm Ralph Papadopoulos, and I've been really tired lately—"

"Ooh, you have really good bone structure," Ms. Stanley cooed, grabbing Ralph's cheeks. She had a wild look in her eyes that Ralph wasn't sure he liked.

"Uh," Ralph tried again. "Can I just lie down?"

"Come sit." Ms. Stanley pointed to a nearby chair. She retrieved a clipboard from her desk and began pacing back and forth in front of Ralph. "Tell me about your sleep habits. What time do you usually go to bed?" She cocked her head and smiled warmly at him.

"I dunno. I guess after Skinemax starts playing regular movies again. And I'm normally tired, but lately…I can't fall asleep. It's like…my brain won't shut up." Her pacing was making him a little dizzy.

"Well, what are you thinking about?" When Ralph didn't respond, she assured him that everything he told her was confidential.

Ralph wasn't sure he liked her very much, but she was a nurse. He could trust her. "Hockey. Girls. Dance steps. Girls…"

"Girls?" Ms. Stanley frowned. "Aren't you dating Sally Albright?"

Ralph didn't even think about how she could have known that. He was too worried about the reason 'girls' was plural. "Can a guy be into two girls at once?"

"No." Ms. Stanley shook her pen at him. "And remember, flirting is cheating. And the revenge of the jilted woman is usually pretty messy. I once…" She didn't continue, and Ralph saw that wild look in her eyes again.

"Can I take my nap now?"

"You can't sleep your life away, Ralph. Here." She pulled a package of pills out of her pocket. "Pseudophedrine. It's the stuff they put in decongestants to make them non-drowsy. It's kind of like a…like a vitamin. Pop two of these every morning and you'll be a firecracker for the rest of the day." She popped out the back of two slots in the foil packaging and handed Ralph the long blue pills.

He picked one up and examined it. "Are they safe?" His grandma had always told him that drugs were bad, but if the school nurse was giving him some…

"Of course. They're over-the-counter." She handed Ralph a bottle of water. "They stock them next to the candy bars."

Well, if they were just like candy…

Ralph tossed both pills in his mouth and squirted some water in after them. He closed his mouth and swallowed.

~L~

Ralph's eyes were wide open as he returned to the choir room. "Hey, guys, how's it going? God, it's a beautiful day! Let's run through the number! I can't wait to do the number! I'm ready and excited!" He motioned for everyone to stand up. They stared blankly at him. "Stand up! Come on! Let's get this joint jumping!" He pulled Sam up by his shoulders and patted his chest.

"Has your soul been taken over by caffeinated space aliens?" Noel asked, afraid of what Ralph would do next.

Sure enough, Ralph strode over and pulled Noel out of his seat. "Nope just visited the school nurse got this great vitamin I feel fantastic! I can't wait to do the number! Let's do the number! And afterwards we can build a house for Habitat for Humanity!"

Derek eyed Ralph carefully. "What kind of vitamin did you take?"

"Vitamin C?" Sheldon asked. "_Vogue_ magazine says it boosts energy levels and brightens the complexion."

Ralph smiled. "Vitamin D! And I got you guys some!" He pulled a package out of his pocket and tossed it to Derek. Derek read the label and showed it to Sheldon, who shrugged.

~L~

At their glee-off performance, the guys were all in high spirits. They wore leather jackets and jeans and commanded the stage like never before.

"This ain't a song for the brokenhearted," Ralph crooned, unable to wipe the smile off of his face. He had never had this much energy in his life, and he planned to capitalize on it. "No silent prayer for the faith departed…"

The guys danced as Ralph continued to sing. He noticed that all of the girls were watching them with their mouths open in surprise.

"It's my life! It's now or never!"

Paul and Kathy exchanged bemused glances. His idea looked like it was working so far. The guys were _pumped_.

"It's! My! Life!"

The music segued into "Confessions."

"These are my confessions!" Noel took over on lead vocal. "Just when I thought I said all I could say…"

The irony of the lyrics about an unwanted pregnancy were lost on Ralph, who could not stand still. He jumped from one riser to the other, bopping to the beat.

"I don't know what to do, but to give part two of my…better stand tall when they're calling you out…" As the song switched back to Bon Jovi, the guys broke out of their choreography and began doing spins and flips. The girls stared at them in awe.

"These are my confessions…I just wanna live while I'm alive…"

For the last line, they all jumped down from the top riser to the bottom. "It's! my! life!"

Their performance was met with whistles and applause from Paul, Kathy, and the girls, although the girls looked more than a little intimidated as they clapped.

"Awesome, guys!" Paul got up to shake each of the guys' hands, and exclaimed, "I didn't know you had it in you! It's like somebody slipped something in your juice boxes!"

Ralph, Derek, Sheldon, Sam, Noel, and Max laughed nervously. There was no way he knew…he was just kidding, right?

"You girls better bring it tomorrow," Paul continued.

It was the girls' turn to look nervous.

"Otherwise, we've got our opening number for sectionals!" Paul decided.

Ralph let out a whoop, and the guys began jumping up and down, congratulating each other.

~L~

Sally walked slowly down the hall. She had heard the commotion from the choir room, but didn't have the guts to go in.

Casey had just left, and she spotted Sally down the hall. "Wait up!" she called. When Sally stopped, Casey ran to catch up with her. "Haven't seen you at glee rehearsals," she said kindly. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm not Superwoman," Sally snapped. "I know glee is _your_ whole life, but I have the Cheerios, I'm on honor roll, I have _friends_…"

Casey bit her lip. She knew Sally was just overwhelmed, and taking it out on her. And Sally had no reason to like her or trust her. But Casey couldn't stand to see someone hurting. And she knew Sally was a good person, underneath it all. "You don't have to be embarrassed," she said comfortingly.

Sally walked more quickly to try to get away from her, but Casey matched her steps. "No one at glee is judging you," Casey insisted.

Sally went over to the wall and leaned against it, head down. She was so _tired_. Of school, of glee, of everything.

Casey sighed. "Look, I know everyone expects us to be enemies and be in competition, but I don't hate you."

"Why not? I've been awful to you."

"That was before you knew what it felt like to be an outsider," Casey explained gently. "More people are going to start finding out about you, and you're going to need friends who can relate."

"How can you relate to me?" Sally scoffed. "You're not…_you know_."

"Maybe not. But I do get slushie facials several times a week. People whisper about me as I walk down the halls. I barely have friends. I can't get a boyfriend." She looked down, thinking of Ralph.

Sally made a sympathetic sound. "Yeah, well…"

"You have seven months of your youth left. You should enjoy it," Casey pressed on. "You won't be able to cheer in a couple of months, the Celibacy Club will kick you out, and, let's face it, glee will be all you have left." She wasn't so sure why she wanted an ally in Sally. She just knew that the Ralph thing wasn't working out, so there was no reason for them to be enemies. "Just come back to practice, okay? It's boys versus girls, and it's fun, but we could certainly use your voice right now. You're a good singer, Sally. Occasionally sharp, but that's just because you lack my years of training."

Sally knew Casey well enough by now to know that that had been a compliment. "I would have tortured you if the roles were reversed, you know," she said quietly.

Casey nodded. "I know." She smiled and walked away, leaving Sally staring after her. Maybe she would decide to come back to glee after all.

~L~

It was the night before the girls' performance, and they had gathered in the choir room after dinner.

"I _told_ you guys—"

Kendra interrupted Casey with an icy glare. "We _know_. You've been berating us for the better part of an hour."

Casey raised her eyes skyward and shook her head.

"Were they really that good?" Sally asked.

"They _were_, Sally," Casey replied. "Look, I was fine with arranging, choreographing, and directing this number free of charge. But we underestimated the boys. Their number will go to sectionals, and once again, I will be humiliated."

"How were we supposed to know they'd rock the house?" Emily threw up her hands.

"Yeah, they've never been _good_," Amy whined.

"How did they do it?" Sandra wondered aloud.

"The real question is: what were they _on_?" Sheldon asked from the doorway, surprising everyone.

"Though I was paired with the boys, and rightly so, my allegiance lies with you girls," he continued, winking at Emily, who smiled. "All my artistic decisions have been derided as too costly because they involve several varieties of exotic bird feathers. I owe them nothing."

Casey raised her eyebrows. "So?"

"So, they took something. We all did."

Emily cringed. "Really, Shel?"

He looked at the floor. "Yes."

The girls stared at each other in horror.

~L~

"Hey Paul, I put that paper about Bill Gates on your desk for you," Ralph called as he passed Paul in the hallway the next morning.

"But it's not due for another two weeks," Paul said in surprise.

Ralph grinned. "I know! I am on _fire_!"

Paul just shook his head and kept walking. Looked like those meditation exercises he had told Ralph about were working.

Casey ran up to Ralph and pointed a finger in his face. "Cheater!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You took performance enhancers before your mash-up! Sheldon told us!"

Ralph ignored her and turned to go in the other direction, but Casey kept yelling.

Derek turned the corner and saw Casey and Ralph arguing. He sidled up behind them and began eavesdropping on their conversation.

"It's deplorable, contemptible, and it's just plain wrong," Casey was saying. "It's also cheating! As a matter of fact, I'm going to start calling you R-Rod."

Derek finally caught up to them, making his presence known with a hand on Casey's shoulder. "That's a lot of big words for such a little girl," he smirked.

She ignored him and shrugged out of his grasp.

"Back off, D," Ralph reprimanded. "And I'm nothing like A-Rod, okay Case? I'd never take steroids. They make your junk fall off."

Derek agreed, and he and Ralph exchanged friendly shoulder-shoves.

Casey made a face.

"Listen, Casey," Ralph continued. "You don't know what it's like for me. The kind of pressure I'm under."

"Oh, please. We all have pressures. But do you know how I deal with it? The natural way. With a rigorous diet-and-exercise routine."

Derek laughed. "Oh, yeah, _that's_ how you do it? I've seen diva behavior from you that proves otherwise."

For lack of a better comeback, Casey stuck her tongue out at him. Derek just laughed again.

"For your information, _boys_," she huffed, "I get up at six every morning. I have my protein shake, with banana and flax seed oil. And by six-ten, I'm on the elliptical."

Both Ralph and Derek tried to push inappropriate thoughts of a sweating, bouncing Casey out of their heads.

"I set a goal, and I won't rest until I reach it," Casey was saying. Right now, she had a picture of a Grammy with her name on it taped to her wall.

"Yeah, but that's personal pressure," Ralph countered. He was starting to come down from the Vitamin D he had taken that morning, and he really just wanted to get away from her and go take a nap. "If you don't reach your goal, you're the only one who loses. I have to play hockey, be the male lead, and deal with a pregnant girlfriend who yells at me about ice cream. You know what I'm saying, right, Derek?" He turned to where Derek had been standing, but he had disappeared somewhere around the word "pregnant."

"That still doesn't justify cheating," Casey said, exasperated.

"I helped me and my teammates out a little bit, but it's only because I'm sick and tired of working so hard and still losing."

"Yeah, but winning by cheating _isn't_ winning."

Something dawned on Ralph. "The only reason you're so pissed about this is because you _know_ you can't compete with us! Ha!" He was starting to learn that with Casey, everything was about the performance.

"I'm offended by that accusation," Casey spluttered. "We haven't performed yet, but if I may say, our mash-up is spectacular."

"Still isn't gonna be as good as ours. We're gonna win. You're gonna lose." He leaned in towards her and whispered, "Deal with it."

Casey bit her lip as he walked away. There was no way he was right, right?

~L~

Barbara Stanley looked up to see six girls knocking on her office door. They all wore identical hopeful smiles.

"You're here for some Vitamin D, I take it?"

They all nodded, and filed one by one into the office.

Ms. Stanley handed out the packages, but when she got to Sally, she motioned for her to go over to the supply closet. "Folic acid for you, mama," she explained, rooting around for some in the closet.

"How did you—"

"Ryan Sylvester is my cousin," she whispered. "He asked me to keep an eye on his Cheerios, so I looked up your medical file. But don't worry, I won't tell Ryan about your, uh, condition."

Sally wondered briefly if he had also asked her to sabotage glee. Getting caught taking performance enhancers would be a pretty good way to do it. But, she reminded herself, she couldn't say anything. She was supposed to be a double agent, after all.

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" Casey asked as Ms. Stanley and Sally rejoined the group.

"It's over-the-counter. You can trust me, I'm a nurse. It's good for you," she nodded brightly.

Casey popped the pills into her mouth, and the others followed suit. Sally felt a little sick to her stomach, but she tried to tell herself it wasn't guilt, it was just morning sickness. At noon.

~L~

Casey led the girls, in their sunny yellow dresses, up onto the risers in the choir room.

"Thank you so much it really is a pleasure," she began. For some reason, she was having trouble inserting punctuation into her speech. But she felt energized and ready to dance. So she got through her speech as best she could. "While the boys chose a selection of songs that casts an eye inward on the irresponsible life choices and sexual hunger of today's modern teens we have chosen a selection of songs that speaks to the nation as a whole—" Sally shot her a "wrap it up" look, and Casey tried in vain to stop her mouth from moving. "—during these troubling times filled with economic uncertainty and unbridled social woe because if there's two things America needs right now that is sunshine and optimism! Also angels!" She took a few deep breaths, but her head was still buzzing. Paul and Kathy eyed her warily, so she plastered a smile on her face. "Okay!"

She ran to take her place for the opening of the song.

"Ohhh…remember those walls I built? Well baby they're tumbling down…"

As Casey led the girls in "Halo," they danced just as energetically as the boys had. Sally suppressed a giggle at their exaggerated movements and tried to keep up. She had to admit, they were doing really well! The guys looked like they were enjoying it, too.

"Everywhere I'm looking now, I'm surrounded by your embrace. Baby I can feel your halo…and don't it feel good!" They switched gears and "Halo" flowed seamlessly into "Walking on Sunshine."

Derek caught Ralph with a goofy smile on his face and looked to see what Sally was doing. But Sally was on the other side of the stage. Ralph was watching _Casey_. Not good. Derek tried to focus on watching anyone _but_ Casey, and ended up worrying about Sally. Was all that jiggling and swaying good for the baby?

"I used to think maybe you loved me; now baby I'm sure…"

Paul and Kathy clapped along as the girls kept time.

"I can see your halo, halo…"

The girls' hair was flying everywhere, getting in their mouths and eyes. Casey tried to tone it down a little, but really, swinging her head around like that was so much fun!

The song ended on one last "Halo!" from Casey and the girls held their final positions, breathing heavily.

Paul and Kathy applauded profusely and the guys joined in.

"Ladies!" Paul crowed. "I don't even know what to say! You did such a good job!" He slapped each of them high-five. "I don't know what you guys did, but whatever it was, keep doing it!"

Sally smirked at the irony of that statement while the other girls tried to control their giggle fits.

Paul motioned to Kathy. "Our celebrity judge has her work cut out for her."

Kathy nodded. She'd almost forgotten that she was supposed to pick a winner. They had both been great.

The bell rang, and the girls scampered from the room. Casey threw her arms around Paul as she ran by, and he patted her back. "Okay, alright," he mumbled. She let go and raced after Kendra, Sally, Amy, Sandra, and Emily. The boys soon followed.

Paul smiled at Kathy. "Well?"

"I think your plan worked." Kathy smiled back.

"Will you walk with me?" Paul headed for the halls and Kathy followed him, stomach full of butterflies.

They weaved their way through the busy halls. "So…" Kathy searched for something to say. Paul was still beaming, high off the successful performance. "Instilling a sense of good, clean competition in these kids…I think you really motivated them."

"I consider you a co-conspirator," Paul replied. "We came up with the idea together."

Kathy gazed dreamily at him. What did he expect her to do, when he said things like that?

Paul's phone rang and he fished it out of his pocket. "My wife," he said apologetically.

"Oh, uh, yeah, take it," Kathy mumbled, and Paul ducked into an empty classroom. Kathy kept walking.

Until her curiosity got the better of her and she doubled back to see if she could catch any of the conversation.

"I need my space," Paul was saying.

Kathy gulped. He looked angry.

"I'll see you tonight," he said firmly, and hung up. Kathy darted away, blushing, but she wasn't fast enough. "Kath?"

She turned, wincing. He sighed. "Sorry about that."

"Everything okay?"

Paul put both hands on her shoulders and smiled sadly at her. Then he turned and walked in the other direction. Kathy didn't know what to think.

~L~

Sally liked her life. She liked being popular. She liked being on the cheerleading squad. She even liked being in glee club. And if she had a baby, it would all go away.

So she started researching adoption. She didn't tell anyone, not even Ralph or Derek. But she bookmarked some websites and called some agencies. Just in case. She didn't know what the future would bring, but she knew she wanted options. She could still achieve her dreams, whether or not she kept the baby. But she knew it would be a whole heck of a lot easier to do it _without_ one. She wasn't sure she wanted to raise a baby at sixteen.

And then there was Ralph. He was a good guy. He was internalizing all of the pressure, and so far it seemed to be slowly destroying him. It would only get worse once the baby came. She didn't want that for her boyfriend. And she did not want Derek anywhere _near_ her offspring. As far as she was concerned, what had happened between them was a fluke, and Ralph was the real father.

~L~

"What's up, A-Case?" Ralph blocked her path as she walked down the hallway. "Sweet mash-up. You guys were so…energetic." He smirked.

Casey shrugged. "We were just taking a lesson from Major League Baseball. It's not cheating if everyone's doing it. We were just leveling out the playing field." She knew her logic was faulty, but at that point, she didn't care. She didn't owe Ralph anything.

"You really believe that?" He stared at her, but his eyes were soft.

"No," she sighed, defeated. "I feel terrible. Even if we win, it's not going to be satisfying."

"That's the Casey I know," Ralph said warmly. "It's funny, I don't even remember performing. What should we do?"

"I think…the only way to make things right is to just withdraw from the competition. You know, admit that we were wrong, and disqualify our respective teams immediately. No one gets to win."

Ralph's shoulders slumped. "Cool."

"I'm sorry about what I said the other day. About calling you contemptible and deplorable." She wanted them to be friends again, and it seemed like a possibility, given the way Ralph was looking at her.

"Aw, that's alright. I didn't even know what those words meant."

He was so cute! Casey started over. "What I meant to say is that I guess I get caught up in the competitive hysteria too." She looked at her feet. "My goals are too selfish."

Ralph looked like he was following her so far, so she continued, "It's time for me to stop competing against everyone, and start competing alongside them."

Ralph smiled and put a hand on her shoulder. "If anyone can do it, you can."

~L~

Paul had just heard some unsettling news. Of course, the news involved Ryan Sylvester. _Of course it did_. "Say that again?" he asked numbly.

Principal Lassiter shook his head gravely. "The new nurse has been supplying your students with drugs."

"They were over-the-counter, and FDA approved," Ryan jumped in smugly. He exchanged a victorious sneer with Barbara. There was no way either of them could get in trouble for this. "Besides, they would have just gotten them somewhere else anyway."

Paul put his head in his hands. "These are good kids. They wouldn't have done anything like this on their own." He was pretty confident that even Derek wouldn't do drugs.

"Nothing bad happened," Barbara said blithely.

Paul picked his head up and glared at her.

"Pseudophedrine is an ingredient in the manufacturing of methamphetamines," Lassiter explained. "You're lucky you didn't get investigated for running a crystal meth lab!"

Ryan rolled his eyes; Barbara stayed quiet.

"Now, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to resign as school nurse," Lassiter continued.

"Fine," Barbara snapped. "But I expect an excellent letter of recommendation."

"Very well." Lassiter shot a grimace at Ryan, who remained stone-faced.

Paul leaned his head back and moaned.

Lassiter turned to Paul. "I have to question your judgment in the matter as well."

Paul sat up straight. "What? I had no idea this was even going on!"

"Exactly." Lassiter sighed. "The children rely on you to create the culture. And you, with your obsession with winning and competition, have fostered an unsafe environment…"

It was complete and utter bull, but Paul didn't have the energy to fight it.

"I'm bringing in someone else to co-chair the glee club. Someone with a track record of responsibility and excellence."

Paul hung his head. He knew exactly what would happen next, and sure enough, the next words out of Lassiter's mouth were "Ryan Sylvester."

~L~

"We're really sorry, Paul," Ralph said contritely.

Casey spoke for the girls. "We didn't mean to get you into trouble."

Paul stood with his arms crossed. "I'm really disappointed in you guys. Glee is supposed to be about what's inside your heart, not what's coursing through your veins."

"We know," Casey replied. "And I think I speak for everyone when I say that we'd be happy to move forward and put this episode behind us."

"Well, it's not that simple." Boy did Paul wish it was. "Because of this debacle, it's been decided that I'm no longer fit to run glee club myself." The kids looked around at each other anxiously. "We've been assigned a co-director."

"Who?" Emily asked.

Just as Paul was about to reply, Ryan stepped into the room. "Hey kiddos," he greeted them with a cruel laugh.

Kendra, Amy, and Sally smiled thinly, while the others' mouths dropped open. The three of them were starting to really enjoy glee. And Sally, especially, wasn't sure she wanted Ryan watching their every move. They were still faithful spies, but that didn't mean they wanted him taking over.

"I gotta tell ya, I'm just thrilled to be coming on board to co-captain your little, uh, show biz cruise," Ryan smirked. "I can't wait to start singing and dancing and maybe even puttin' on the Ritz a little bit."

No one responded. Sheldon grabbed Emily's hand and squeezed it. Derek punched his fist into his palm. Casey held back tears. Everyone else tried not to show their fear.

~L~

Casey woke up the next morning at six, and began her daily routine. Just as she was about to step onto the elliptical, her cell phone rang. She didn't recognize the number. Who would be calling her that early?

"Hello?"

"Hey, Space Case. Just making sure you're up."

"Who is this?" Casey already knew, and had no idea why she hadn't hung up on him already.

"You mean you don't know? It's your potential future brother. You're coming to my house for dinner tonight, you know."

Casey gagged. She knew. And she was conveniently about to develop swine flu right after school. "Why are you calling me?"

"Like I said, just making sure you're up. If my calculations are correct, you just finished your protein shake."

"Ye-Yeah." _He remembered that conversation_?

"Look, my family doesn't know I'm in glee, so don't mention anything about it tonight, okay?"

"You couldn't wait to tell me this in school today?" she huffed.

"Yeah, right. Like I'd talk to you at school."

Casey guessed that occasionally tossing slushies in her face and singing in glee together didn't really count as 'talking.' "Fine, I won't mention glee tonight. Can I hang up now?" She was tempted to hang up before asking, but the fact that he was actually acting like a human being made her pause.

"Yes, you may." She could practically hear his smirk through the phone. "See you at school, Case."

She hung up, and couldn't understand why she was smiling. She shook it off, and went back to her elliptical. She had taped a new goal to her wall in front of it: a pink piece of paper with the word "SECTIONALS" on it.


	7. Throwdown

Standing in the auditorium of William McKinley High School was a Glee club in its entirety, but not exactly all together. Three students on the stage and nine in sitting in their seats while their teacher and co-director flailed wildly about, screaming at each other with violent and some might say somewhat hilarious expressions on their outraged faces.

They had been going at it for a week, and somewhere in the back of Paul's head, he wondered how he got there – how he could ever let something like this happen. Somewhere in the very front of Ryan's head, he thought about how awesome his hair was that day, and great it felt to pop the zit known as Paul Greeby.

It had all started a week ago when Principal Lassiter had called them into his office to speak with them, he had said…

"Paul, Ryan," he began. "I called you in here to get the temperature of the glee club."

The two plastered smiles onto their faces and nodded understandingly.

"I wanted to get a progress report on how you're working together as co-directors," Lassiter continued.

The two began speaking at the same time, but Paul insisted Ryan spoke first. "Okay," Ryan accepted with a cocky smile. "Principal Lassiter, things couldn't be going more smoothly."

"I couldn't agree more," Paul affirmed, and he playfully punched Ryan's shoulder, at which he laughed nervously.

"I don't want to hear any reports of either of you currying a favor from the children, am I clear?" Lassiter said as he leaned forward over his desk.

"Absolutely," Paul grinned

"And no putting the kids against one another," Lassiter warned.

"Never," Ryan assured, but he was _going _to put those kids against one another. He was going to create an environment that is so toxic that no one would want to be a part of that club. Like the time his parents sold their house to a nice, young couple, and he salted the earth in the back yard so that nothing living could grow there for a hundred years. You know why he did that? Because they tried to get them to pay their closing costs.

"Sectionals is coming up," Lassiter said. "What are your co-director plans?"

"Actually, each of us is going to direct our own number," Paul informed the principal.

"Yeah, and we'll be flipping a coin to see who goes first, so it'll be very civilized, very sportsmanlike, so…" Ryan trailed off, smiling widely.

"This arrangement is fantastic," Lassiter enthused, and the two agreed on the outside, but they were rolling their eyes on the inside. "Now, let's hug it out."

"I'd rather not do that," Paul chuckled unenthusiastically.

"I really don't see that happening," Ryan said with gritted teeth.

"This meeting doesn't end until I see your you two hugging," Lassiter pressed. "It's a technique I learned last week at my leadership seminar."

The two sighed inaudibly, standing up before hugging awkwardly. "I will destroy you," Paul hissed quietly, so that only Ryan could hear.

"I'm about to vomit down your back," He growled.

"It's on," Paul replied.

The two pulled back and smiled stiffly. Let the games begin.

~L~

"I'm freaking out," Sally whispered to Ralph as she lay on a long chair in her obstetrician's office as the nurse prepared for an ultrasound. She was _not _supposed to be there, she wasn't that girl… you know, the girl that everyone talks about not because she's alarmingly intelligent, pretty or just a genuinely good person, but the girl everybody talks about because they got _pregnant._

"Everything's gonna be fine," Ralph said, but he sounded nervous as he clutched his girlfriend's hand.

"Relax," the nurse said comfortingly. "At your age, there's very little chance of anything being wrong."

That wasn't why she was freaking out.

"Awesome," Ralph said with a less worried smile.

"Okay," the nurse began after everything was ready. "This is gonna be a little cool to the touch."

"Can you just," Sally trailed off, embarrassed as she peered down at her cheerleading uniform. "Be careful of my uniform?

"Alright," the nurse threw her an odd look as she spread the gel onto Sally's stomach. "Speaking of your ages, have either of you two given any thought of what you're going to do after the baby is born?"

"Whatever Sally wants is fine," Ralph said.

"Well," the nurse said as she looked at the screen. "If it makes a difference, it's a girl."

Ralph looked at Sally's stomach and his eyes brightened as he kissed Sally's hand. She was so lucky, he was being so supportive… she wondered how supportive he'd be when he found it that it wasn't his.

But Ralph's demeanor changed when he left the room after the ultrasound. Paul had driven them to the obstetrician's office, and he had been in the waiting room.

Ralph sat down next to Paul and sighed as he looked at the floor, "Hey," he said.

"Hey,"

"Baby's fine, no mutations or anything... not even any cool ones," Ralph mused. "Thanks for taking us today, I was too freaked out to drive."

"Yeah, no problem," Paul said. He looked at Ralph and saw how he looked borderline nauseous. "Hey, you doing alright?"

"Um... no. I mean, how am I supposed to take care of a real person?" Ralph asked. "My grandma won't even let me have a fish."

"I thought Sally wanted to give the baby up for adoption," Paul said.

"For now, but we both know that's not my call," Ralph said with a sad realization. "This sucks. You get all the stress and worry and none of the control."

Sally walked into the waiting room and she briefly looked at Ralph, but peered down at the floor out of pure shame.

"It's cool, Paul," Ralph said, standing up. "You wouldn't understand."

~L~

"The independent polling company in my dockers has determined that you're the hottest girl in this school," Tinker said to Casey as he leaned against the locker next to hers.

"Ew," Casey said, rolling her eyes as she walked past him.

"Hey," Tinker continued, walking beside her. "Have you been reading my blog?"

"Of course not," Casey scoffed as she held a floral, pink notebook to her chest. "You're a gossip monger, and your blog is nothing but trash and lies, many of them, about me."

"Well, you'll be happy to know the one I'm working on right now has nothing to do with you or your rumored lust for redheads," Tinker said with a sneaky grin. "It's about Sally Albright. Word on the street is that she's in trouble!"

"Where did you hear that?" Casey asked, feigning disinterest.

"Are you denying it?" Tinker questioned.

"Yes," Casey lied, but her expression failed her. She turned to escape the creepy reporter, but he stopped her.

"Because the same birdie told me you're heartbroken that Ralph Papadopoulos didn't choose you to carry his litter," he called.

Casey sighed and turned back around, walking back up to the redhead. "What's it gonna take for you to not run the story?"

She was too busy listening to Tinker with horrified ears to notice that Ryan was walking down the hallway, asking something about double-headed coins.

~L~

"I pick heads," Ryan sneered as he flipped the coin in the choir room. Paul peered at the coin and announced with a snarl that it was heads. "Awesome! Alright, the following students have been selected for a special elite glee club called Ryan's Kids."

"Hold on," Paul stopped him. "We agreed not to split up the group."

"Aw, come on, Paul. Gimme a chance to do things Ryan Sylvester's way," Ryan pleaded with false innocence. "Maybe with my proven leadership abilities, I can help this pathetic group of mouth breathers place in sectionals."

"We can't even compete if we divide up the club, Ryan, it's against the rules,"

"Really? You need to crack open a book, Paul. Here, I have," Ryan said as he dug into his backpack that sat on a nearby chair. He found a book and tossed it to Paul. "Show Choir Rule Book, page twenty four, prevision fourteen, second addendum. Twelve members must perform for each team. However, not all members must perform every song."

"Fine," Paul grumbled, because he just was _not _okay with this, he knew that he was up to something. "Okay, just go ahead, take all the football players and your cheerios."

"Alright everybody, listen up," Ryan hollered. "When your name is called, cross over to my side of this black, shiny thing."

"It's called a piano, Ryan," Paul said in disbelief.

"Emo poetry boy, gay kid," Ryan called, looking at Sheldon.

"But I'm not gay," Sheldon defended.

"_Gay kid_," Ryan called, but louder and more angrily. Sheldon glared at the obscenely large upperclassman and then looked next to him, seeing Emily. He placed his hands on either side of her face and kissed her for a moment before pulling back, standing up confidently and crossing over to Ryan's side of the room, leaving Emily stunned into silence.

"I'm not gay," he hissed towards Ryan, who shook his head in confusion, but carried on.

"Blonde beanie kid, Aretha and goody-two-shoes," Ryan called, and Sam, Emily and Sandra stood up with odd looks towards him. "See, Paul, I don't want to participate in a group that ignores the needs of the losers in this school."

"Hey," the separated group defended themselves.

"You've got to be kidding me," Paul said in disbelief, his eyes growing wide.

~L~

"What'd you have to do to get him to stop?" Ralph asked Casey after she had told him the whole story of Tinker and the news piece.

"Let's just say I feel sorry for my mom," Casey explained. "Because she's going to have to dip into my college fund for intensive therapy."

"Whoa," Ralph yelped, his eyes growing wide. "Hardcore!"

"I don't mind," Casey said, smiling gently up at him as they strolled down the hallway. "I did it to protect you."

"And Sally," Ralph continued.

"Of course," Casey agreed begrudgingly. "We're all… teammates."

"Hey, I gotta tell you, you really are awesome," Ralph said sincerely as he turned to stand in front of her, placing a hand on the side of her arm gently, and she felt her heart leap. "I'm gonna make it up to you some day, I swear."

Casey grinned and felt her stomach flutter as he turned and walked away. But the next face she was greeted with wasn't as welcomed.

"I need another pair," Tinker said, and Casey's face fell. She was really, really tired of this kid.

"What's wrong with the ones I already gave you?" Casey whispered as she snuck a look behind her shoulder.

"Um," Tinker grumbled agitatedly as he dug into his backpack, pulling out a lime green, see-through thong. "They still have the tag on them!"

"Put those away!" Casey hissed angrily, her eyes widening.

"I want Casey McDonald panties," Tinker demanded. "I expect delivery tomorrow morning, or the story of Sally Albright and the stork goes wide. I feel an urge to kiss you right now, I'm just gonna go for it."

Tinker leaned forward and Casey pointed a finger in his face, spluttering out every phrase she could think of that meant 'HALT!'. He left, sprinting down the hallway, and Casey sighed, her notebook pressed up against her chest.

~L~

"I'm kinda nervous," Sam said anxiously as they waited in the choir room for Ryan.

"I debated not even showing up," Noel admitted.

"Maybe it won't be so bad, guys," Emily tried to remain at least somewhat positive, but all she got were strange looks.

"Hey guys," Ryan called as he entered the choir room with a few band members that he may or may not have terrorized into helping him out. "Brought some of my brass buddies with me, thought they could help us out a little bit. Okay, so I selected a song that I think will speak to the frustration you've felt under the failed leadership of Paul Greeby."

Ryan handed out sheet music to the group, and Emily's face lit up.

"Hate on Me," she grinned. "An R'n'B song!"

"It's about time," Sheldon remarked. "We do an awful lot of show tunes."

"Emily," Ryan pointed at her. "I wanna see some of those Mariah hands."

"I can do that," she said with a nod and a grin.

"I think we got this, Ryan," said Sam.

"Well, alright, we'll see," Ryan said, turning to lean against the piano. "Hit it!"

The group sang along with the intro filled with horns, and Emily began the first lines as they all danced in their chairs.

"If I could give you the word on a silver platter," she sang as a few other members of the group got up, improvising dance steps. "Would it even matter? You'd still be mad at me."

"If I could find in all this a dozen roses that I would give to you," she continued, her voice loud and clear as the rest of her group sang, moving chairs around. "You'd still be miserable!"

"'Cause in reality I'm gonna be who I be," she sang, walking on the ledge that separated the two rows of chairs, singing playfully towards Sheldon. "And I don't feel no faults for all the lies that you bought! You can try as you may, bring me down when I say that it ain't up to you, gonna do what you do!"

"Hate on me hater," the group sang. "Now or later, 'cause I'm gonna do me, you'll be mad baby!"

"Go 'head and hate!" Sandra sang.

"Go 'head and hate on me hater," they all sang, grinning as Sam and Noel pushed two chairs in front of Emily for her to stand on. "I'm not afraid of… what I got I paid for, you can hate on me!"

Sandra and Sheldon brought more chairs up to the front of the room, while the rest of the group loudly sang, "You cannot hate on me! 'Cause my mind is free, feel my destiny, so shall it be."

"Go 'head and hate on me haters," Emily sang as Sheldon sat on the chair in front of her, leaning the opposite way as his legs kicked back and forth above the back of the chair, causing a wide grin to appear on Emily's face. "I'm not afraid of… what I got I paid for, you can hate on me!"

"Go 'head and hate on me hater," Emily sang as the others sang the hook behind her. "I'm not afraid of… what I got I paid for, you can hate on me… ah!"

As the group grinned and high-fived each other, Paul stood behind the door, looking in from the glass, his hands in his pockets and a frown on his face.

~L~

"Ryan," Paul called as he walked through the hallway, spotting the seventeen year old. "Hey, Sylvester, I'm talking to you!"

"Oh," Ryan said tonelessly. "Hey buddy, I thought I smelled failure."

"Why'd you take the piano when it was my time up with the kids?" Paul asked angrily, but he tried to keep his cool.

"A properly steam-cleaned piano is part of any successful music group,"

"You are undermining me in front of these students," Paul exclaimed, unable to hide the fact that he was outraged at this insane child.

"Your delusions of prosecution a telltale sign of early-stage paranoid schizophrenia," Ryan deadpanned, and Paul stopped walking for a moment out of shock.

"Ryan, I am _not _done talking to you," Paul called as he caught up with him. "What about all my sheet music, I need that for sheet music for my students!"

"Well, Paul," Ryan said as they walked down the stairs. "The last thing your kids need is chronic sinusitis from the mildew I feared was infesting that old moldy paper."

"So what, you sent it away for some testing?" Paul bit, his eyebrows stitched and his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Nope," Ryan said, popping the 'p', "Burned it."

"Oh, that is _it, _Ryan," Paul exclaimed. "This ends right here!"

"Cockfight," Ryan grinned. "Perfect."

"No, we are here for my students and your underclassmen," Paul said, trying to stabilize his voice. He had to be careful, because in all technicality, he was a student. "So whatever problems we have with one another? We need to get 'em out in the open right now."

"'Kay, you wanna get real? You're right, Paul, I have been trying to destroy your club with a conviction I can only call religious," He admitted as they stood at the bottom of the stairs. "And you wanna know why? Because I hate show tunes and whenever I hear one, all I can think of are small, five year old children with birds laying sulfurous eggs in their obscenely curly hair, and I find it disgusting."

"Oh, you are a terrible influence on these kids," Paul hissed in shock. "I think you're dangerous, and I think you teach them all the wrong lessons!"

"I don't care what you think, Paul. If it means I have to get you fired to close down that club of happy-go-lucky, singing clowns, then so be it," Ryan said with a shrug, and then he walked down the hallway only to slam a slushie another student was holding onto the ground. "Those drinks are crap!"

~L~

Ryan walked into the football field with a cheery, bubbly reporter at his side, a microphone in her small hands. "Mister Sylvester," she began, pressing the record button on the microphone. "A lot of our readers at Cheerleading Today-"

"I'm cutting you off," Ryan said. "Is this a cover story?"

"Yes,"

"M'kay," Ryan began, clearing his throat. "This is all your readers need to know... I'm all about empowerment. I empower my Cheerios to live in a state of constant fear by creating an environment of irrational, random terror. Speaking of which, S! Here, now!"

Sally ran up to her coach as Amy and Kendra stretched in the field, but the rest of the cheerleaders remained absent. "Where are my Cheerios?" Ryan queried.

"Coach Sylvester," Sally began as respectfully as she could around both her coach and the reporter. "They're not academically eligible, Paul flunked them."

Ryan ripped off his sunglasses and stared at her in horror. This would not stand!

~L~

"It is a travesty of international proportions," Ryan growled as she stood in Lassiter's office pointing a Paul, who was sitting on the couch. "You are jeopardizing my Cheerios' role as good will ambassadors! And I have a call in to the president."

"Ryan," Paul began, holding up a sheet of paper. "I have in my hand a Computer quiz in which one of your cheerleaders misspelled her name and answered every question with a drawing of the YouTube logo!"

"You can't stand it, can you?" Ryan began in frustration. "You can't stand to see a student in a position of power."

"That has nothing to do with it-"

"Your psycho age-centered derangement would be fascinating," Ryan started. "If it weren't so terrifying!"

"Ryan, Paul did a little research, and according to our test records, most of your cheerleaders are functionally illiterate!" Lassiter explained.

"Oh, so what?!"

"And only last Friday, at the football game," Lassiter continued, still appalled at the knowledge himself. "They tried to spell out 'Go Team', and they spelled out 'To Game'!"

"Since you started coaching the Freshmen and Sophomore cheerleaders," Paul explained clinically. "Ninety-five percent of your them should've flunked Computer Class, and I for one am not going to be a part of it anymore!"

"Let me break this down for you, okay," Ryan recomposed himself as he sat down on the couch next to Paul, slinging an arm around his shoulders. "I empower my cheerios to be champions. Do they go on to college? I don't know, I don't care. Should they learn something like Spanish or about computers? Sure, if they wanna be dish-washers and gardeners, but if they wanna be bankers and lawyers and captains of industry, the most important lesson they could possibly learn is how to do a round-off."

"He is deranged," Paul yelled, and then he turned to Lassiter, pointing at him accusatorily. "You know what, this all happened on your watch!"

Lassiter gestured towards himself in shock, and Paul nodded, continuing, "You have allowed this to go on since he was appointed as coach for the underclassmen!"

"Say something!" Ryan screeched.

"I- Okay, Ryan, Paul is correct, you're wrong," Lassiter said, slamming his hands down on his desk, and Paul uttered a relieved 'thank you', while Ryan grew wide eyed. "From now on, no free passes... that's it!"

Paul stood up to leave the principal's office, with a fake-friendly, "See you in rehearsal, Ryan," and an attempted pat on the shoulder.

"Don't touch me," Ryan growled, glaring at Paul, who responded by poking him and leaving quickly. "That is a lawsuit, Mister, I will sue your ass! What happened to our little agreement, huh? Will I be uploading a certain video to YouTube this afternoon?"

"Oh, Ryan, I put it on YouTube myself, and it only got two hits," Lassiter explained, and Ryan mouthed 'damnit!'. "Let me break it down for you... nobody cares!"

Ryan left his office with a glare before pushing a another student, not hearing Lassiter yell, "Not the children!"

~L~

There was a test in computer class, but Ralph was a little more concerned with one of the coolest things he'd ever come up with. He fake yawned and passed a small, folded up not to Sally, who was sitting at the desk behind him.

"What is this?" She whispered with an edge to her voice.

"Check it out," he replied in a whisper. "I came up with a name that I think would be good for the kid."

Paul looked up and saw Ralph turning to look at Sally, "Eyes on your own test, Ralph," he said, but was soon distracted by another confused student.

"Anyway, then I read that the Gwyneth Paltrow named her kid Apple, and I think that's so cool, 'cause you know how much I love apples, right," Ralph rambled as Sally stared at him blankly. "And so, I figured we should name our kid something more... original, poetic. Then I came up with the best baby name of all time…"

Sally opened the paper, and it spelled, in doodle font, "Drizzle". It even had a little cloud over the 'I'.

"Drizzle," Ralph grinned.

"Drizzle?" Sally deadpanned, seemingly not amused.

"Yeah," Ralph nodded enthusiastically. "'Cause you know how awesome it is when it's just drizzling outside but it's not really raining, so it still smells like rain, but you don't need an umbrella to go outside."

"Are you a moron?" Sally asked rhetorically. "We're not naming our baby Drizzle, we're not naming our baby anything! Finish your test, Ralph."

Next to her, Amy grabbed her test with a blank look.

"Give me my test back," Sally said irritably.

"I just don't understand anything," Amy explained.

"That's not my problem," Sally bit.

Sally rushed to leave when class ended, and Ralph tried to catch up with her, eventually catching up to her.

"You are so insensitive," she said angrily, her voice shaking. "Bringing up baby names to me when you know I don't wanna keep it… I _can't _keep it!"

"I know," Ralph said, confusion clear in his voice. "But I don't know what you expect me to do about it!

"Not have an opinion?"

"Hey, this is happening to me, too," Ralph said, beginning to get defensive.

"No, it's not," Sally corrected as she flung her locker open. "You're not the one whose parents will burn her like a witch if they find out.

"You know," Ralph started, and once he said this, there was no going back. "Sometimes, I wish you were a little more like Casey."

"…Really?" Sally said, turning away from her locker as she felt tears begin to well up in her green eyes, but she fought them back.

"Yeah, she cares about my feelings, she sticks up for me... she sticks up for _both _of us," Ralph said, thinking of what she had done. "Did you know that she gave that Jacob kid a pair of her underpants just to keep him from posting on his blog about you being pregnant?"

"You think she did that for me?" Sally questioned bitterly and in disbelief, her head shaking and her ponytail shaking along with it. "Just to be a good teammate?"

"Yeah, that's what she told me,"

"I know guys cheat on their wives and pregnant girlfriends," said Sally. "Just don't do it with her."

~L~

For the first time in quite a while, the whole club was together, Derek strumming on his acoustic guitar and Ralph banging on his drums as they all sang.

"If you wanna go and take a ride with me, we three-wheeling in the fo' with the gold D's," all twelve sang as they smiled light-heartedly. "Oh why do I live this way? Hey, must be money!"

"In the club on the late night, feelin' right, looking tryin' to spot something real nice," the group sang, fighting off laughter at their bad, impromptu dancing. "Looking for a little shorty, hot and horny so than I can take home, I can take home!"

"She can be eighteen, eighteen with an attitude, or nineteen, kinda snotty, actin' real rude," they sang, and Casey burst into laughter before joining back in. "Boo, as long as you a thick thicky thick girl you know that it's on, know that it's on. I peep something coming towards me up in the dance floor, sexy and real slow. Saying she was peepin' and I dig the last video, so when Nelly, can we go; how could I tell her no? Her measurements were 36-25-34!"

"Yellin', I like the way you brush your hair," they sang, and Casey mimed brushing her hair towards Noel before moving to mock-brush his hair with her hands. "I like those stylish clothes you wear, and I like the way the light hit the ice and glare, and I can see you moving way over there!"

"Whoo!" they all yelled before they all clapped and chuckled to each other.

"I miss us all being together," Casey said sadly.

"I hope we don't get in trouble for our covert jam session," Noel said, and everyone laughed.

"If Ryan catches us mingling we're cooked. He told me if I even talked to one of Paul's kids, he'd shave my head," Sheldon explained, and they all laughed. "And I just can't rock that look! I mean, even Justin Timberlake is growing his 'fro back."

"Well, we gotta go," Emily said regretfully. "Ryan's expecting us in ten minutes in the dance studio."

"Aw, man," Derek said as everyone said their goodbyes, and then Paul walked in with the band.

"Hey, what're you guys doin' here?" Paul asked, a wide grin growing over his face as he saw them. He missed having the whole group together.

"Just stopping by to say hello," Sam said, and Paul smiled, patting Emily on the back as they left.

"Aww, it's great to see you guys," he said as they left, shutting the door. "Alright, great news, I brought the band with me, and I think we have our number for sectionals."

"Paul," Casey said gently. "We don't like what this has become."

"Don't you guys see? That is how Ryan wants you to feel, giving up doesn't help anyone but him. Look, if it were up to me, we would all perform together at sectionals, but it's not up to me anymore, okay? Ryan is gonna do his song, and we are gonna do ours," Paul began to hand out sheer music. "Ryan's kids are singing about hate... literally! So, I thought we would try a kinder approach. Alright, Ralph and Casey, come up here, you're gonna take the leads."

"I love this song," Casey gasped. "Okay follow my lead."

"Don't wait for me," Ralph said with a smile.

"So much for togetherness," Sally said bitterly, but Paul didn't hear her. She rolled her eyes and stepped to the back as Ralph and Casey stood in front of the microphones.

"Guys, you really need to practice this," Paul explained as he stood in front of them. "Night and day, between classes, it needs to be letter perfect, okay?"

The two assured them that they would, and the song began.

"If I should die before I wake it's 'cause you took my breath away," Casey sang, not needing to look at the lyrics. "Losing you was like living in a world with no air."

"I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave, my heart won't move, it's incomplete," Ralph sang, following the lyrics on the sheet, not seeing that Sally was analyzing the look on Casey's face with a bitter glare. "Wish there was a way that I can make you understand."

"So how do you expect me to live alone with just me," Casey sang, looking over at Ralph admiringly. "'Cause my world revolves around you, it's so hard for me to breathe."

"Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air," the group sang. "Can't live, can't breathe with no air, it's how I feel whenever you ain't there, it's no air, no air…"

They practiced over and over, and they eventually made it to the stage of the auditorium, microphones set where Sally, Kendra, Amy, Derek and Max stood, and every time they performed, Sally grew more and more angry at having to watch that little piece of man-stealing grime look at him like he was perfect. Derek couldn't deny that he tried to focus on any and everything but the two people exchanging sappy, romantic stares whenever they could… because it was cheesy, of course.

"Breathe no air, baby," Casey drew out the last note as Ralph grabbed her hand and they lined up next to everyone else.

"It's no air, no air, got me out here in the water so deep," Casey sang.

"Tell me how you're gonna be without me," Ralph sang as they walked in front of the rest of the group and towards each other.

"If you're not here, I just can't breathe," Casey's voice sang loudly.

"It's no air, no air…"

"Amazing, guys," Paul said through the microphone in the audience. "Bull's-eye!"

"Excuse me!" Sally said, pushing between the two. "What about us? You expect us to just sway back here like props?"

Since the incident where Ralph told her that he wished she was more like Casey, she had gone above and beyond the expectations of Ryan as being her mole. Ryan had instructed her to poison the glee club in any way she could, and that's what she was doing. She hadn't listened to exactly what Paul said, but when they all got ready to leave, she turned to Derek and Amy. "I think Ryan's right about him," she said. "He clearly doesn't care about us."

That's when Derek and Amy joined Ryan.

~L~

Ryan was not technically allowed in the teacher's lounge, but after a year of him barging in whenever he pleased, he was accepted by most as a teacher's lounge regular. He sat at one of the tables with the paper in his hands when Paul walked up to him.

"Who do you think you are?" Paul asked, leaning over the table.

"Well, now you know how it felt for me to have my Cheerios snatched away," Ryan said, closing his paper.

"I can't do a song with five kids," Paul said.

"Not with that attitude," Ryan said with a smacky grin on his face. "Look, I'm prepared to cut you a deal. You pass my Cheerios, and I'll give you back your team of losers and snot faucets."

"Ryan Sylvester," Paul said calmly. "You're gonna have to pry those Fs from my cold, dead hands."

Paul turned and walked towards the door of the lounge.

"Can't wait, pal!"

~L~

"Listen here Treasure Troll, we're about to have a smackdown," Sally said as Casey shut her locker.

"I don't wanna have a confrontation," Casey said meekly as she pushed past her.

"Don't play stupid with me, stubbles," Sally growled, moving in front of her. "I'm having Ralph's baby, and you need to back off. I'm asking you as nicely as I possibly can, leave him alone."

"You're right," Casey admitted slowly. "I helped you not because it's the right thing to do, but because I had romantic ulterior motives. But just so we're clear, you're the one who's cheating."

Casey narrowed her eyes at the cheerleader and turned on her heel to walk away.

"Excuse me?" Sally asked incredulously as she walked next to Casey.

"I have on good authority that you're Ryan Sylvester's mole, and you can deny it all you want, but I know it's true," Casey explained quickly.

"Oh, I have no idea what you're talking about," Sally snarled, trying her hardest not to skin Casey alive in the middle of the hallway.

"Ryan's not on your side, Sally, he's not on anyone's side but his own," Casey explained as they walked up the stairs. "Can you imagine what he's going to do when he finds out about your situation? He'll probably try to rip off your uniform with his bare hands. Alright, every time you whisper in his ear, you empower him to do more damage to the glee club, and right now, glee club is all you have. And if I were you, I'd recognize who my true friends are... oh, and I'd practice a little bit more, because you obviously have a lot you need to express."

"Oh, you have no idea," Sally said.

~L~

Casey stepped up to the microphone as the other half of the club sat in the audience with Ryan.

"We would just like to say that although we find ourselves on opposite sides," she said with a light-hearted smile. "We hope you enjoy our number, and we look forward to seeing yours as well."

"Get on with it," Ryan yelled. "Enough with the jibba-jabba! Sing something!"

"Ryan," Paul scolded. "You can't talk to them that way."

Ryan placed a hand over his mouth, feigning shock, and Paul rolled his eyes as the music began and Casey began to sing the first few lines. Ryan scoffed and stood up.

"Alright, that's it. They had their chance, up everybody, we're leaving," he said, snapping his fingers, ordering the kids to stand up and leave.

"I'm sorry," Ralph said. "Is there a fire?"

"No, and the point, there is no fire," Ryan pointed out. "You know, it's sad enough that my Ryan's Kids are probably picked on and terrorized by their classmates every day…"

"I'm popular," Derek corrected, looking at Ryan, who ultimately ignored him.

"But for you to drag 'em in here and bore them to death? I won't stand for it," Ryan said. "Come on, guys, out! We're going for conies, my treat."

"Okay, that's it," Paul yelled, slamming his clipboard down on the desk in front of him.

"Really?" Ryan grinned, amused by his frustration.

"You know what, Ryan? You've been pretty obvious about your feelings for me, so let me return the favor... you're rude, Ryan," he said, unable to control the anger in his voice. "You have no class, and you are a terrible influence."

"You are a failed performer, Paul," Ryan said, obviously striking a chord with the teacher. "You weren't good enough to make it in the real world, you're not even good enough to run this stupid little club that nobody cares about! Time after time, Paul, you've failed!"

The kids behind them realized that in no way was Ryan on their side, and they stared down at the two blankly. What had happened in the past few days?

"You spend every waking moment of your life trying to figure out ways to terrify children so you can feel better about yourself and the fact that you're probably gonna end up alone because no one can bear to be around someone as cruel as you," Paul yelled, and Ryan's eyes widened.

"How dare you talk me like that," he said, pushing Paul.

"Don't you even-"

"Enough! I'm sorry, Paul, Ryan," Ralph interrupted. "But if we wanted to hear mom and dad fight, those of us who still have parents would just stay home on pay day."

"I agree, glee club is supposed to be fun," Emily said, allowing her frustration with what the club had become to show. "And furthermore, I don't like this whole 'loser' business. Not everybody knows my name, but I'm not defined by my friend count. I'm out!"

"Me too," Sam agreed as the kids began to head towards the exit of the auditorium in retaliation.

"Fellow glee clubbers, it would be an honor to show you how a real storm out is done," Casey said loudly from her spot on the stage. "I encourage you to follow my lead."

She stomped off stage, and the others followed, everyone leaving the auditorium, leaving Ryan to storm out by himself and Paul with a massive headache.

~L~

Paul knocked on Ryan's already open office door, and he ushered him in, telling him to close the door.

"I wanted to talk to you about the auditorium," Paul said towards the senior.

"Good, I wanted to come to you to, but I have no idea where your office is," Ryan admitted nonchalantly. "Why don't you have a seat?"

"Sure," Paul said, sitting on the chair in front of Ryan's desk.

"So, I decided to step down as co-head of glee," Ryan said, and Paul eyed him oddly, asking, 'really?'. "Yeah, it's not for me, it's too fruity. I can't stand the sight of anyone getting emotional unless it's from physical exhaustion."

"Yeah, it did get pretty bad in there," Paul agreed uneasily.

"Ugh, yeah. I'd still like to stay on as a consultant," Ryan corrected, and Paul felt an impending sense of doom. "Maybe you could show me your set list before competitions... just so I feel like I'm contributing."

"Cool," Paul mused uneasily.

"I was a DJ at a party last year," Ryan confessed with a light smile.

"Why do I feel like I'm about to fall though a trap door into a pit of fire?" Paul asked, and Ryan pointed a pen in his face with a too-friendly smile planted on his face.

"Because you don't trust me," he explained. "I know my methods are extreme, I know I'm not like the rest of you hippies, caring about the underclassmen's feelings, as if they're real... but I do care about coaching. And when I coach them, and they win? I win, and you know how I feel about winning."

"I do," Paul said as kindly as he could manage. "Look, who's to say that everything I do is one-hundred percent on the ball-"

"No one would say that," Ryan interrupted, and Paul kept his cool.

"Probably right," he shrugged, even though he felt a small nagging urge to smack him with a book of etiquette. "But in hindsight? You were right to shine the spotlight on the fact that they're outsiders."

~L~

"Because you're all outsiders," Paul said to the group of twelve, and they all looked onwards at their teacher with admiration for telling the truth. "You're in the glee club. So it doesn't matter that Derek's Italian, or that Ralph's-"

"Unable to tell my rights from my lefts," he said shyly, and the group giggled light-heartedly.

"Sure, or that Sally is-" Paul began, but Ryan interjected.

"Pregnant," Ryan said, and Sally's shoulders slumped. "Sorry, S, it'll be all over the blogisphere by this afternoon. Now everybody knows... including me."

Ryan stood up and left the room, leaving Sally to sit there in shock. Derek looked guiltily at the ground, because when it all came down to it, this was his fault.

As soon as rehearsal was over, she stomped up to Tinker when she saw him in the hallway.

"How could you do that?" Casey asked Tinker at his locker. "Do you have any idea how much pain you caused by running that story?"

"Ryan made me do it," Tinker explained, feeling rotten and dirty for what he'd done already. "He found your… you know, in my locker, and he made me explain everything, then he told me to run it, and he scares me. I'm sorry, Casey."

Tinker turned to leave, walking down the hallway, and the sound of crying made Casey turn to see Ralph holding Sally in his arms, sobbing into his chest while he tried to soothe her.

~L~

The group stood on the auditorium's stage, dressed in black and white as the music started and the stage lights shone down on them.

"You're not alone, together we stand, I'll be by your side you know I'll take your hand," Casey sang with a sympathetic look towards Sally that she didn't see.

"When it gets cold and it feels like the end, I'll be by your side you know I won't give in," Ralph said, locking eyes with Sally.

"No I won't give in," Ralph and Casey sang together as the group extended their arms in different directions. "Yeah, yeah!"

"Keep holding on," the group sang as the boys and girls ran to the opposite ends of the stage, alternating. "'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through."

"Just stay strong," all twelve sang and the boys picked up and twirled the girls. "'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you."

"There's nothing you can say, nothing you can do," Casey and Ralph sang, the others repeating. Noel smiled supportively at Sally, and tears filled her eyes. "There's no other way when it comes to the truth, so keep holding on 'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through."

They all extended one of their arms and folded it back into their chests as they sang.

"Here me when I say, when I say I believe," Ralph and Casey sang, looking at each other. The look in Casey's eyes said, 'Don't worry,'. "Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny."

"Whatever's gonna be will work out perfectly," they sang. "Yeah, yeah, yeah!"

The group sang along with the beat, and the lines continued while all the girls placed their left hand over the boys' hearts, Sally paired with Sheldon as he looked at her comfortingly when everyone twirled together, and Sally felt like she belonged there. Maybe Casey was right, maybe these were her real friends… no, she _knew _Casey was right.

"Oh," the group sang while Casey and Sally faced each other, and a tear spilled onto her cheek as she sang, "Keep holding on!"

"Nothing you can say, nothing you can do," they sang. "There's no other way when it comes to the truth so keep… keep holding on!"

Line by line, the each grasped each others' hands, and while one of Casey's hands was occupied by Derek's, the other was holding Ralph's, and maybe it bothered him that out of the two, Derek certainly wasn't the one that mattered… maybe it didn't. It really shouldn't.

"'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through…"

The music ended, and Sally shuddered, her breathing ragged. She closed her eyes and let her head hang – maybe they would make it through.


	8. Mash Up

View . Add . Bottom of Form

He selected the largest slushie cup and filled it to the brim with icy purple liquid. As he turned the corner and entered the main underclassmen hallway, many students tensed up, wondering if they would be the culprit today.

Sam flinched and ducked out of the way, but he was not a target.

Emily was talking to Sheldon by the lockers, and she shrieked and dove into Sheldon's arms as the slushie perpetrator strolled past. But they were safe. For now.

Casey felt sure it was meant for her. She scrunched up her nose, sucked in her breath, and got ready to take it. But she wasn't assaulted.

The intended victim came around the corner, and the perpetrator struck: _Ralph _was slushied square in the face.

"What the hell?" he yelped, grabbing his assailant by the shoulders and spinning him around. He pinned the boy against the lockers. "What the hell, Karoffski?"

Karoffski snickered at his teammate. "I've wanted to do that ever since fifth grade when you made fun of me for getting pubes. And now that you've joined Lullaby League and insperminated the queen of the chastity ball…"

Ralph gave him an extra-hard shove, but Karoffski kept talking. "…and dropped below the rest of the hockey team on the food chain, it's open season!"

Sally came up to them to see what was going on. "Screw you, Karoffski! You and your Neanderthal puck-heads are nothing! Why can't you be more like Ralph?"

"You're gonna pay for this, dude," Ralph snarled as he roughed Karoffski up again.

But Karoffski fought back. He smacked Ralph's hand away from his chest. "No, I'm not." He smirked. "You two don't have the juice anymore. Welcome to the new world order."

Karoffski gave them a long pitying glare and sauntered away. Ralph and Sally stared at each other, unsure of what to say.

~L~

"I need dance lessons," Kathy announced as she strode purposefully into Paul's office.

"What?" Paul looked up from his half-chewed sandwich and swallowed quickly. "You know how to dance."

Kathy smiled uneasily. "I have some rhythm, that's true, but…I need professional training."

Paul looked her up and down. "_Why_?"

"Because," Kathy looked at her feet in embarrassment. "I'm looking for some new material for my drama class and I would like to be able to, well, demonstrate what I'm teaching them."

"Nothing wrong with that," Paul smiled sympathetically. "But I can't really help you, Kath. My only dance training comes from my own glee days."

"But that's just it…I don't want to pay some fancy school for lessons, when I could pay you to get the basics. That's all I need, really. Like I said, I'm not _completely_ hopeless on the dance floor."

"Let me stop you right there," Paul said, holding up a hand. "There will be no payment involved."

"Oh, Paul, I wouldn't feel right taking—"

"Seriously, Kath, we're friends. It'd be awkward."

"Friends. Right." Kathy mentally slapped herself for getting hung up on the word. "So, you'll do it?"

"Of course," Paul grinned. "I'd be happy to help."

Kathy clapped her hands together in excitement. "Thanks, Paul. It really means a lot." She couldn't help but think that the idea of them dancing together was just as enticing to Paul as it was to her. Wishful thinking, maybe, but that's what kept her going sometimes.

~L~

"This is a disaster," Sally whispered as she toweled off Ralph's face in the choir room. The slushie had matted his hair and his face had turned red from the cold. "Our reputation as McKinley High's 'It' couple is in serious jeopardy if we don't find some way to be cool again, Ralph." Ralph just stared blankly at the wall.

Casey gazed at him in sympathy. She wished she could be the one drying him off, but it looked like he was fully committed to Sally these days. It hurt a little, but she was tough. She could handle being just his friend.

"The slushie war has commenced," Sheldon muttered to Emily and Casey. They nodded.

"And, if _Ralph_ and _Sally_ got nailed, none of us are safe," Emily said sadly.

Paul entered the room carrying a stack of papers. "Okay guys, we're a little behind for sectionals thanks to our Ryan Sylvester detour, but you guys seemed to really enjoy doing mash-ups, and I want to keep you guys fired up."

Everyone gathered around, looking interested.

"Plus, there's an important lesson to be learned with mash-ups. Sometimes, things are so different, they don't feel like they go together. But the big difference between them is what makes them great. Like…chocolate and bacon."

"Or glee club and hockey," Ralph piped up bitterly.

"Exactly," Paul agreed, not catching his less-than-enthusiastic tone. "But you've proven that it _is_ a great combination."

Sally looked skeptically at Ralph's soggy head.

"So," Paul continued, "Here is my personal favorite song." He handed out the papers he'd been holding. "And your homework for the week is to find an unexpected mash-up to go with it."

Sheldon looked up with a frown after reading the title. "'Bust a Move'?"

"This song is so old school!" Emily remarked doubtfully.

"Noel," Paul motioned to him, "try to follow along on the bass. Ralph, take us through it."

"I'm sorry Paul." Sally was now rubbing his eye with the towel. "I got corn syrup in my eye." He blinked a few times and made a face.

"Oookay," Paul looked around. "Derek. How 'bout it?"

Derek took one look at the paper and grimaced. "I don't really groove on Young MC." Paul stared at him, disappointed, and Derek shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

Casey saw her chance to get a dig in at Derek. But she was also kind of disappointed in Ralph. (She had once performed with both strep throat _and_ pink eye, and he was worried about a little _corn syrup_?) "I am _shocked_ at the lack of leading-man ambition in this room right now," she said, shaking her head.

"That's okay, Case," Paul said with a satisfied grin. "Guess I'm gonna have to show these guys how it's done." He unbuttoned his dress shirt while the glee clubbers hooted and whooped, and he threw it aside to reveal a tight gray t-shirt.

He pointed for Noel to begin the guitar solo. "Bust it!"

Ralph joined in on the drums, having miraculously recovered from the slushie-ing. Sally rolled her eyes and walked over to join the rest of the group.

Casey smiled and led everyone in clapping along.

"This here's a tale for all the fellas," Paul rapped, "Tryin' to do what those ladies tell us. Get shot down 'cause you're overzealous. Play hard to get, females get jealous." He roused Sam, Sheldon, Derek, and Max from their chairs and began showing them some moves. They caught on quickly.

"Okay smarty, go to a party," Paul hopped up on the riser and danced between the seated girls. They were still swaying and clapping. "Girls are scantily clad and showin' body. A chick walks by, you wish you could sex her, but you're standin' on the wall like you was Poindexter…" he took Sally by the hand and twirled her around. She began smiling at his enthusiastic antics.

The girls joined in, singing "Ahh" every few beats, getting into it.

"You want it, you got it," they sang.

The guys handled the "Bust a move!" shout-outs, as Paul broke out some very rusty break-dancing skills.

They continued singing and dancing and having fun, taking a much-needed break from reality.

"Just bust a move!"

~L~

"So, uh, how can I help you kids?" Kathy asked nervously. Two very upset teenagers were sitting across from her in her office.

"You gave Ralph some good advice before," Sally answered, "And I can't believe I'm saying this, but we need advice on how to be cool."

"Yeah, you must have picked up some ideas about what cool people do from watching them over the years," Ralph added helpfully.

Kathy blinked.

"Not that you were never cool yourself," he went on, realizing his mistake.

Kathy giggled. "Huh. Yeah, well…um, hey, you're two of the most popular kids in school." Apparently that was the wrong thing to say.

"We _were_," Sally huffed. "Until we joined glee club. That's why he got a slushie facial. I'm sure of it." She looked at Ralph forlornly.

"Okay, I see. Okay, right." She was searching in vain for some way to make these kids feel better. "Let's talk about this. Why is it so important for you to be cool? Don't you like being in glee? It's fun." She smiled.

"Status is like currency," Sally explained. "When your bank account is full, you can get away with doing just about anything. I mean, look at Ryan Sylvester. But right now, we're like toxic assets."

Kathy was listening, she was, but she couldn't help but get distracted by Paul, who was doing a goofy little jig in the hallway right outside her office, motioning for her to join him for dance lessons.

She tried to focus on the fact that Sally was still talking.

"When my mom applied to college, she put being popular as her main extracurricular activity. And she got in to Arizona State…" Sally trailed off, realizing that Kathy was barely paying attention.

"Sunglasses!" Kathy replied a little too loudly. She had been admiring Paul's just a moment before. "They're so sexy." She stared dreamily at Paul, who began walking out of her line of sight. When he finally disappeared, she remembered Sally and Ralph, who were staring blankly at her.

"Sunglasses," she said again, trying to sound confident. "They're uh, they're really cool. I'm always seeing celebrities wear them in magazines, even at night…doesn't need to be day…very popular. Gives you a sense of, you know, mystery…rappers," she finished weakly.

Ralph didn't seem to notice. He was on board. "Totally! You can't see their eyes, so they have all the power. I could be looking at your boobs, and you'd have no idea."

Sally opened her mouth and glared at Ralph in disgust. She elbowed him and he turned to look at her, not understanding why she was upset.

"No, um, kids," Kathy took a deep breath. "Look. The most important thing is that you be yourselves, okay? And if people don't like you for that, I'm sorry, but who needs 'em?"

Sally wasn't sure she was ready to give up on her popularity, despite Kathy's warning. She eyed Ralph with a knitted brow, but Ralph was deep in thought, probably about what brand of sunglasses he was going to buy. Sally shrugged. What could it hurt?

~L~

By the time Kathy got to Paul's classroom, he was pushing aside tables and creating a big dance floor.

"Hi," she said quietly, trying not to let her excitement show.

"Hi," he replied, face lighting up.

She peeled off her sweater and pulled off her jeans, revealing a leotard and tights.

Paul stared, open-mouthed.

"Is this…" she gulped, "not okay?"

"Wha? Oh, no, you look great." Paul tore his eyes away from her form-fitting clothes and thought of his wife. What was her name again? Terri! Yeah, Terri. You're _married_, Paul reminded himself. (But if he was being honest, it wasn't much of a marriage these days. More of a cohabitation of convenience.) "I thought we'd start with a fast song to get us loosened up," he continued.

Kathy nodded. Paul went over to his CD player. "Hey Kath? I'm really excited about this," he blurted out.

Kathy's breath caught in her throat. "Yea…yes. So exciting," she breathed. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea. But it was too late now.

Paul pressed play and the song began. Kathy laughed when she recognized it: Sisqo's "Thong Song."

He began rapping along with the lyrics and dancing around Kathy in a circle. She followed his motions, and when he got to "Baby, move your butt, butt, butt," he backed up against her and she blushed scarlet.

Overall, it went well. Dancing with Paul was a little awkward, but he was patient in teaching her some easy steps, and the silliness of the song helped to break the tension.

During the last verse, Paul spun her too quickly and they ended up in a heap on the floor, laughing and groaning. She sat up slightly and realized she was straddling him. "Are…are you okay?" she muttered.

Paul laughed nervously. "Uh-huh." Kathy untangled their limbs quickly and stood up.

"I think that's enough for today. Thanks so much, Paul." She didn't wait for him to answer before racing out of the classroom. She paused in the hall outside, heart pounding. She hated herself for this. Paul was a good man. He was not going to leave his wife for her. She had to get that silly little fantasy out of her head.

~L~

Ralph was outlining the upcoming plays for his teammates in the locker room. "That's the plan, alright?" Ralph concluded.

"No." Karoffski stood up, glaring at Ralph.

Derek stood up as well. "No?" he said incredulously.

Karoffski smirked. "I'm starting to question your friend's leadership abilities," he explained. A few other guys nodded.

"Yeah, maybe you're having trouble making good choices," another player told Ralph. "As in, for instance, choosing to join 'Homo Explosion.'"

"Are you kidding me?" Ralph's eyes flickered to Derek, and Derek nodded, encouraging him to stand up for himself. "Do you not remember what glee did for the football team? It's good for athletes to have dancing skills."

"What has glee done for me lately?" Karoffski fired back. "We're taking a bunch of heat, because you and Derek like kissing dudes all of a sudden."

Derek had heard enough. He came at Karoffski and got him in a headlock. Ralph and some other guys rushed in as well, and the players scuffled until Coach Tanaka came in to see what all the fuss was about.

"Hey, hey, what's going on here?" He pulled Derek and Ralph away from the guys they were fighting. "You're not being team players!"

"It's Papadopoulos," Karoffski growled, pointing a finger in Ralph's direction. "I'm surprised he was even man enough to knock up Sally Albright. You sure a real man didn't sneak in there and do it for ya?"

Ralph struggled out of Coach Tanaka's grip and came at Karoffski again, eyes blazing, Derek at his heels. But the coach blew his whistle. "Enough!" he bellowed furiously. "Break it up!"

Derek and Ralph backed off reluctantly.

"Everybody! Take a knee! Now!"

The players got down on their knees as Coach Tanaka surveyed them angrily. "What if you had broken a bone?" he asked them. "We'd be worse off than we already are. Hockey is war! And no one single man can win that war, not even if they strap nukes on him. I want you to start acting like a team again! You need to be of singular purpose! I want you to start hanging more. Spend more time together." Derek, Ralph, and Karoffski rolled their eyes, but the coach was adamant. "That's why, starting next week, I'm adding extra practice on Thursdays at three-thirty."

"But Coach, that's when glee rehearses," Ralph protested. Derek elbowed him in the gut, and he realized that hadn't been the brightest thing to say.

"I have had it up to here with Paul and glee," Coach Tanaka fumed. He had held a bit of a grudge against Paul ever since the failed Acafellas experiment. "Here's the story." He looked from Ralph to Derek and back again. "That practice is mandatory. No exceptions. So you're going to have to choose what's more important to you. Hockey, or," he smirked condescendingly, "glee club."

Ralph hung his head. How could he make that choice?

~L~

That night, the Venturis were finally coming to the McDonalds' house for dinner. Casey was not happy. She couldn't fake an illness, or pretend she had too much homework. She had to be sociable. All night. With Derek.

Her mother was a nervous wreck, checking and re-checking the casserole, pacing in front of the door. When the Venturis finally arrived, though, Casey was comforted by the huge grin on her mother's face. She could tell how much she liked George.

Casey liked George, too. Dinner was nice. He seemed interested in her life, especially glee club. And his kids were pretty cute (the youngest two, of course, not the oldest one).

After dinner, though, things became awkward very quickly. The three youngest, Lizzie, Edwin, and Marti, raced upstairs, giggling and laughing, and shut themselves in Lizzie's room.

Casey's mother gave her a tight-lipped smile and a nod of the head that clearly said, "Go entertain Derek, I want to be alone with George."

_Ew_. Casey rolled her eyes and motioned for Derek to follow her upstairs. "Come on, let's go work on our mash-up for glee," she said without thinking.

George's eyes widened. "You joined glee, too, Derek?"

Derek put an arm around Casey's shoulder and squeezed way too tight. She tried not to let it show. She deserved it, after all. She had no business spilling people's secrets, even if this was _Derek's_.

Derek plastered a smile on his face. "Uh, yeah, Dad. I thought it would be a good way for Casey and me to get to know each other."

"Aww." Casey's mother sighed happily. "That's wonderful." Both adults looked at them with such sappy faces that Casey couldn't bear to disappoint them with the truth.

"We'd better get to work," she said quickly, dragging Derek upstairs by his wrist. When they reached her bedroom, she slammed the door shut and pushed him onto her bed roughly with both hands, trying to remain in control of the situation. He smirked, but said nothing, and Casey didn't catch the innuendo.

"I'm sorry I spilled about glee. But your dad was okay with it. So can we just drop it?"

Derek made himself comfortable, leaning on one elbow and gazing up at her with a pitying look. She was so naïve. "When I have I ever let you off the hook that easily?"

"I'll make it up to you, I swear," Casey said, hoping he didn't have too nasty a punishment in mind.

"Do my mash-up for me," he said, and she bit her lip.

"That's all you want?"

"Of course. I enjoy making you miserable, you know that. But like you said, my dad didn't care. I didn't think he would, honestly. I just didn't want the reason I joined glee to get around."

"That reason being…?" Casey sat across from him in her desk chair and leaned forward. She didn't understand why she was even interested, but she had to admit, Derek was definitely unpredictable.

"Like I would tell _you_…_You_ can't keep a secret!" He grinned triumphantly at her.

Casey threw up her hands. "You are so frustrating!"

"Thank you." Derek smiled at her, and she blushed and looked away. He certainly was a charmer.

"So, I was thinking of starting with Christina Aguilera for the mash-up," Casey said finally. "How about 'What a Girl Wants'?"

Derek nodded, clearly not that interested. "Sure."

She began singing, trying to run through the music in her head as she worked out the beat and flow of the song.

Derek watched her intently. It wasn't fair that she was so pretty. It really wasn't. And it wasn't his fault she was such an easy target at school – she was a keener loser. He was obligated to make her life miserable. It was the law of high school. So why was he enjoying his current view so much? Casey in a tight white shirt, chest area a little lacking, but she made up for it with those mile-long legs, and that short skirt that rode up her thighs the way she was sitting…

"Can we take a break?" Derek was going to have to make a dash for the bathroom if her skirt rode up any higher.

Casey stopped mid-lyric. She was uncomfortable with the way Derek was looking at her, but in a way, it felt good. Like Ralph had looked at her right before the first time they kissed…

_Oh, crap_. "O…okay," Casey choked out. Maybe he had the hots for Christina, and it was just her singing _that_ song made him all…like that. It was possible, right?

The next words out of Derek's mouth were, "You wanna make out?"

As each syllable escaped his lips, it reverberated around Casey's bedroom and seemed to echo. Her eyes went wide, but Derek looked so earnest. She could see the warmth in his expression when he looked at her, and misplaced affection or not, she may as well get some action. At least that's what she convinced herself in the three seconds it took for her to say, "…Sure."

This is crazy, Derek thought to himself as he pinned Casey against her pillow, lips finding hers and crashing against them eagerly. She pulled him further on top of her, tugging at his shirt collar, as if she was afraid to actually touch his skin. He moved his own hands to tangle through her hair, and she placed a few tentative fingers against his cheek. He rolled her over so that she was on top, and her legs slid along either side of his. Derek flicked his tongue out against her lips, but she wasn't having it. Giving up on that, he moved his hands to her hips, kneading the skin there. She responded by pulling his face even closer to hers, sucking on his bottom lip until his head went completely foggy.

But in the back of his mind, he couldn't help but continue to feel how wrong this was. And yet not. At all.

It all stemmed from a Venturi family dinner conversation the night before. They were discussing the impending visit to the McDonalds', and Marti was talking about how much she liked Casey's clothes.

Derek patted Marti on the head. "Oh, Marti. If only you knew the hag inside them, you'd feel so differently."

"_Derek_," his father warned, "Be nice. Casey's a very pretty girl. And she's sweet, too. You should get to know her better. I understand you ignore each other at school."

"Ignore is a strong word," Derek insisted. Casey obviously hadn't mentioned the slushie facials. He was relieved about that. "We just don't see each other much. We don't have the same classes."

George looked unconvinced. "All right, well, no more teasing her. She's not even here to defend herself. And," he pointed his fork at him, "no teasing tomorrow night, either. Try to get along with her, for my sake."

Derek nodded, all smiles. "Sure, Dad. I promise to _try_, but I'm not promising results."

So it had been an enormous stroke of luck that Casey had outed him as a fellow glee clubber the next night. It would get his father off of his back for awhile, at least.

But he had had to go and call her pretty, something Derek had been stubbornly denying to himself since the first day they'd met. He was convinced that his dad's offhand comment had been the source of his strange encounter later that night.

He thought at first that Casey was really standing there, in his bedroom. But he knew it was a dream because there was no way Casey could have climbed up the wall outside his window with no shoes on. No shoes, but she was wearing a flowing white nightgown that glowed in the moonlight. Her hair was down and wavy. She looked like an angel. She reached out a hand towards him in his bed…

Then he woke up. He realized right away that it was more than a dream. It was a message from God. Casey was hot, and he needed to get into her pants. It would take away his frustration; help explain that strange pull he felt towards her. All he needed was to break the sexual tension, and he could stop obsessing over her.

Besides, he realized with a rare stroke of genius, if he started dating Casey, his father would surely have to break up with Casey's mother. There is no way they'd get married if they thought their children would be going at it all time when they lived under the same roof.

Derek tried to focus on his current position underneath this gorgeous and frustrating girl, but his head began spinning with all of the thoughts and emotions and the feel of her hair and her breasts rubbing against him and her legs sliding along his…it was all too much.

He opened his eyes and pushed her away gently. He didn't want to mention it because he figured she'd get defensive, but his heart swelled when he saw that as their lips disconnected, she had a contented smile on her face. _The D-Man still has it_!

"We should stop," he said groggily, struggling to get his voice level.

Casey nodded, still a little starry-eyed. "Yuh…" She swallowed. "Yeah."

Derek propped himself up on his elbows as she clumsily disentangled their limbs. She tugged down her skirt so it wouldn't ride up as she hopped up off the bed. She stood over him uncomfortably, obviously searching for something to say. Derek, in a snap judgment that was based solely off of the way she was biting her lip, decided to tell her about his little scheme. Better to play this off as a calculated maneuver. That way neither of them would have to get all goopy and talk about _feelings_.

"That was a great start. I think we can make this work," Derek said confidently, as if they had been in the middle of a conversation. (Well, they had been, sort of. Just not a _verbal _one.)

"Huh?" Casey sat down next to him on the bed, very careful to make sure no parts of their bodies touched. "Great start?" she repeated, still a little dazed.

"You see, I, Derek Venturi, am a genius." He smirked.

Casey's eyebrows furrowed. "Care to explain a little further?"

"Look, the reason I wanted to kiss you…it was just an experiment."

Casey's eyes flickered downward…Was that disappointment he saw? Whatever it was, she did a good job of brushing it off. "Go on."

"I have this brilliant plan. If you and I date, well, if you and I _pretend_ to date, then we can break our parents up and we'll only have to see each other at school."

"What?" Casey's eyes were definitely full of enthusiasm this time. It was Derek's turn to feel a pang of disappointment. _Do I really mean that little to her_?

"Yeah, see, there is no way our parents are going to get married if they think we're together. They won't want us living in the same house. Get it?"

"Ooh." Casey clasped her hands together. "That's a great idea!"

"Of course it is. I told you I was a genius."

Casey stuck her tongue out at him, but all that did for Derek was invite dirty thoughts about what that tongue could do.

"Uh…" He cleared his throat. "So, what do you say we pretend to date this week at school, really get a feel for it, and if we can make it look convincing to our friends, we'll _definitely_ convince our parents."

"Sounds like a plan. One week of secrecy, and then we'll commence Operation Parental Breakup." She held out her hand for him to shake.

He nodded. "Deal." But instead of shaking her hand, he leaned in for a kiss. Casey willingly obliged, and it probably would have gotten out of hand again if George hadn't called up the stairs that it was time to leave.

When Derek and his family were gone, Casey remade her bed (they had rumpled the sheets a bit with all their rolling around), and tried very hard not to think about the fact that kissing Derek had been just as exhilarating, if not more so, as kissing Ralph. It's just that he's a good kisser, she kept telling herself. It was just for fun. It has nothing to do with feelings_._ _He doesn't see it that way, so why should I? _

They were on a mission, darn it. They needed to keep focused on Operation Parental Breakup. All the same, she spent extra time getting ready for school the next morning, making sure her hair and makeup were perfect.

~L~

Derek carried his slushie through the halls the next day. He typically enjoyed the panicked look on people's faces as he strode past, but today, no one paid any attention to him, probably because his smile was a mile wide. There would be no assaults today, and everyone knew it.

Except Casey.

When he reached her locker, she sucked in her breath and squeezed her eyes shut, ready to take her slushie in the face.

She had forgotten that Derek was her "boyfriend" now. To her surprise, Derek held the slushie out to her and plucked a straw from behind his ear. "I picked it up for you when I was buying nachos. It's grape. I know that's your favorite because the last time I tossed a grape one in your face, you licked your lips before you cleaned yourself off."

Casey stared at him, blinking rapidly. She couldn't see a hint of deception in his warm gaze, and that unnerved her and excited her at the same time. Either he was taking this scheme way too seriously, or he was starting to tolerate her. She didn't want to get her hopes up, but she took the slushie anyway. It smelled okay. And grape really was her favorite.

Derek noticed her hesitancy but kept talking as if everything was normal. He couldn't begin to earn her trust (let alone respect) if he kept being a jerk to her at school, and this "Operation" was the best way to do that without admitting how he really felt about her. "So, you want to keep working together on the mash-up?"

Things happened pretty fast from that point. Getting Casey to make out with him again was easier than he thought. His dad worked late, and Edwin and Marti had after-school activities, so they had the Venturi house to themselves all afternoon. He couldn't help but think that maybe she was just desperate, but when her tongue slid past his teeth, he knew it had to be more than that. He was pretty sure you had to be a pretty special guy to get to French kiss Casey McDonald.

But that illusion was shattered a few minutes later when she removed his hands from tracing circles on her thighs and pushed herself off of him.

"You okay, baby?" he asked gently.

Casey paled. "I can't do this." She sat up and tried to compose herself. She had almost moaned his name a few seconds ago. But not the name "Derek." Nope, she was picturing _Ralph_, and that scared her.

"Why?" Derek brushed her hair from her face. "This is one of the perks of our little plan. We're a couple of good lookin' kids, why shouldn't we make out?" He leaned in to start things up again, but she backed away.

"I can't give myself to someone who isn't…" She was about to say "Ralph," but thought better of it. "…isn't brave enough to sing a solo." She was quite proud of herself for coming up with that one. "If you don't have the guts to do that, then…then how are you going to be bold enough to deal with the ups and downs of pretending to love an admittedly high-maintenance girl like me?"

Derek flinched. "Are you questioning my badass-ness?" he asked, rolling up his sleeves. "Have you _seen _my guns?"

Casey looked at his arms approvingly but shook her head. "Derek, I'm sorry…your arms are lovely, but…I just don't see this working out."

Suddenly Derek understood. She didn't want to have sex with him; that much was clear. But she was also an innocent. Operation Parental Breakup wasn't her style. He had been presumptuous to think that he could mask his attraction with some juvenile scheme.

"So, you're just giving up?" He crossed his arms and frowned.

Casey shrugged. "I'm really sorry." She thought of Ralph again. As naïve as she knew it was, she wanted Ralph to be her first. And if she kept up these makeout sessions with Derek, pretend or not, she was going to end up letting herself go too far. A girl's got to have her standards.

~L~

The glee clubbers were chatting and laughing the next day, waiting for Paul to arrive. Casey didn't feel much like singing at the moment, but she was a professional: the show must go on.

"Hey guys," Paul greeted them as he entered the choir room. "So, any ideas for the mash-up?"

The room got quiet.

"Anybody?" He smiled mischievously. "Come on, guys! It's like you're daring me to start dancing!"

He was met with a chorus of playful "No!"s.

"You know I will!" Paul teased.

Derek picked up Noel's guitar and announced, "I've been working on something."

Paul didn't bother to hide his delight. "Oh yeah? What is it?"

Derek's eyes flickered to Casey, and the other members were silent, waiting to see what Derek could possibly have up his sleeve. "I was inspired," he said, smiling at Casey. "This is a tribute to a musical icon."

"Fantastic." Paul took a seat and motioned for Derek to go ahead.

Derek didn't know much about Neil Diamond, but he had seen a greatest hits CD of his in Casey's room, so he knew she liked him.

He strummed the opening of "Sweet Caroline" and Casey's eyes lit up, and he knew he'd made the right choice.

"Where it began, I can't begin to know when, but then I know it's growing strong. Wasn't the spring, and then spring became summer…"

His eyes never left Casey's, and her smile got wider and wider. Noel and Sam exchanged bemused glances. Sally and Ralph looked at each other as well, unsure of what to think about this interesting development.

"Who'd have believed you'd come along? Hands…touching hands…"

Sheldon and Emily touched hands and giggled, as did Max and Amy.

"Reaching out…touching me…touching you…" Derek held the note and winked at Casey, who blushed.

Ralph sat up straighter. What the heck had gotten into Derek?

Kendra crossed her arms and pouted. She and Derek were over, that was for sure, but that didn't mean he was supposed to move on to _Casey_. _Ugh_.

"Sweet Caroline…"

The rest of glee joined in on the "bah bah bah" section, some more enthusiastically than others.

"Good times never seemed so good…" Derek knew that he was getting some odd stares from his friends, but at that moment he didn't care. He was singing to Casey, for Casey. She wanted a man who was bold enough for a solo? He'd do a thousand solos if that meant he could get into her pants…or you know, her heart, cheesy as that sounds.

He really started rocking out during the last verse, holding the notes for as long as he could. The other club members, and Paul, were swaying with smiles on their faces, contributing to the harmony.

Sally was caught up in Derek's performance more than anyone. She had a million different thoughts running through her mind, but the most prominent one made her wonder why she had rejected Derek so forcefully. Maybe he was a good guy after all.

When he was finished, all Derek could see was Casey's joyful face. She nodded at him, and he knew he was back in her good graces. The sound of the others clapping slowly made it through the Casey-fog to his brain, and he bowed as the applause continued.

~L~

Ralph and Sally were traveling through the hallway incognito – both clad in thick black sunglasses.

"You know, I really think this is working," Ralph whispered. "I think we look super cool!"

"I'm proud of you, Ralph. I'm proud of us," Sally replied.

"Yeah, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be popular. It just means you want people to like you. I think that's healthy."

Sally grinned good-naturedly at his take on the situation. "I totally agree."

"Being popular means you can have it all."

They turned the corner and came face-to-face with Ralph's (former) hockey buddies…the same ones who used to help Derek torture guys like Sheldon. They were all holding giant slushie cups.

"Ya thirsty?" one of them taunted.

Sally tensed, but Ralph didn't catch on to the hostile vibe in the hallway. "Sure, thanks," he said, reaching for the nearest cup.

Before he could grab it, six or seven slushies hit Sally at Ralph at once, from all sides.

"You can't do this!" Ralph roared, whipping off his sunglasses. Slushie dripped down his forehead and into his eyes.

"Oh, you think that's bad?" Karoffski snarled. "Just imagine what's gonna happen if you don't show up to practice on Thursday and quit that little glee club for good."

Ralph paled. Sally was still standing immobile, mouth open. Those slushies were _cold_.

"Bros before heigh-ho's, dude," Karoffski said with a cruel chuckle. "Don't forget that."

He led the rest of the players away, leaving Sally and Ralph shivering in the middle of the hall.

~L~

If Paul had predicted what he'd be doing in the auditorium with Ryan Sylvester, the very last thing on the list would have been teaching him to swing dance.

But that was exactly what he was doing. Ryan's mother wanted to enter a swing competition, and he had agreed to be her partner. Paul knew that since it was uncharacteristically sweet of Ryan to want to help someone, even family, he couldn't possibly turn the kid down.

It wasn't easy, but somehow they got through an entire song without any mistakes. Paul had to teach Ryan to lead, even though Paul was used to leading, so it was a pretty funny situation. They were both smiling. Paul could see that Ryan felt a real sense of accomplishment.

This was what Paul loved about performing. It transformed people. Look at Derek and Casey: last week they could barely look at each other, now it was puppy love. He was extremely happy to see that the tension between them had disappeared. They seemed completely at ease with each other, and though Paul had to admit he was shocked Derek had opened up his heart to her, it made a certain degree of sense. They complimented each other well. He wondered what their parents thought about them together, but didn't want to ask; he didn't want to intrude on what could possibly be a delicate family situation.

His interactions with Ryan were still as antagonistic as ever, but Paul could feel that a weight had been lifted. They had reached an impasse after their conversation in Ryan's office the week before.

They finished the number, laughing so hard their sides hurt. They were out of breath, and leaned on each other so they wouldn't collapse from exhaustion.

Paul recovered and gave Ryan a high-five. "That was amazing," he told him sincerely. Ryan nodded. "You know, I have to admit, at first when you suggested I teach you a few steps, I was hesitant," Paul went on. "Since you were so horrible to me and the glee kids when Lassiter made you co-director." He handed Ryan a bottle of water, and took a long sip from his own bottle. They both sat on the edge of the stage.

"Well, live and let learn, my friend," Ryan said with a wink.

"That is ultimately what I got to," Paul agreed. "It's nice not being at each other's throats."

"You know, you're right. I don't know how else to say this, but I'm so happy. My mother asked me to take her to the second annual Allen County Sickle-Cell Anemia Dance-a-thon. With your tutelage, Paul, we can take home that blue ribbon like two prize heifers."

Paul laughed. He wondered why this was such a big deal for Ryan. Maybe he was getting financial support from his parents at home, but not that much emotional support. It explained a lot about his personality. Paul briefly wondered where his father was, but didn't say anything. Ryan had never once been in to see him in a guidance counselor capacity, and now Paul regretted never initiating the meeting himself. "I was wondering why you asked _me_ for dance lessons."

"Oh, well, Kitty just raved about you," Ryan explained.

He inwardly rolled his eyes. Ryan just could not get the hang of Kathy's name, first or last. "I have to say, I'm touched," he smiled. "I'm glad you're happy. You've been so nice. And you've been so cool about Sally Albright, and you know, her situation."

"Yeah, she's just a confused kid. The least I can offer her is my compassion."

Ryan was what, two years older than her? Paul couldn't believe how wise he sounded. He wished he could see this side of Ryan more often.

"But you, mister," Ryan gave him a friendly punch on the arm. "The Ryan Sylvester who has been obsessed with sabotaging your every move is now just a distant memory."

Paul put his hand on Ryan's shoulder. "That's great, Ryan."

"Now all I feel for you is sympathy. Whether it be for your sham of a marriage, or the fact that Coach Tanaka's _finally_ laying down the law with regard to glee club."

Paul removed his hand and ran it through his hair. "Wait…what?" The first part of Ryan's statement had bypassed him completely; he needed to know what was going on with glee.

Ryan stood and looked down at Paul. "Yeah. Tanaka's making the kids choose. And I mean come on, let's be honest. What kid's gonna choose glee club over hockey? That'd be ridiculous." With that, Ryan walked away, leaving Paul's stomach somewhere around his ankles.

~L~

"Hey!" Paul strode purposefully into the boys' locker room. "Ken!"

Ken Tanaka emerged from his office and made a "What?" gesture with his arms.

"You wanna tell me what the hell's going on?" Paul asked, as nicely as possible with the tone he was using. "You know I have a standing glee rehearsal on Thursday. We sat down and worked out a schedule when some of your guys joined the club."

Ken folded his arms. "Circumstances have changed. I have a serious morale issue with my team, and it's my responsibility to fix it."

Paul didn't have an answer for that.

"Sorry if me doing my job interferes with your club," Ken said, not sounding sorry at all.

"Ken, we've known each other for years. Your commitment to hockey is about as long as your pants!"

"Yeah, well that was before you turned my guys into fruity dancing fairies!" He stormed into his office and slammed the door.

"Hey!" Paul went to the door and knocked. "So do I get Sam, Derek, and Ralph on Thursday?"

Ken opened the door a crack. "You keep your rehearsal, and I'll keep my practice. We'll let the kids decide who's first choice." Then he shut it again, and Paul knew the conversation wasn't going to get anywhere. He returned to his office. There was nothing to do but wait it out and see if Ralph, Derek, and Sam would come through for him.

~L~

Derek and Casey had begun traveling the halls arm in arm. Casey nodded to Emily and Sheldon, who were walking the opposite direction holding hands. The two couples exchanged hellos, and Derek pulled Casey tighter.

"Tell me more," he said, and Casey launched back into her discussion of past Tony winners.

He didn't give a darn about the Tonys or whoever Tommy Tune was. But the look on her face as they strolled the halls together gave him such a high, he could have listened to her talk all day. Whether Casey knew it or not, she was no longer _pretending_ to like Derek. She was into him for real. Derek didn't want to risk scaring her off, so he didn't mention it. He was too busy getting lost in her blue eyes, anyway.

They still hadn't told their parents. They were enjoying the secrecy: the private glances at dinners, the playing footsie when no one else was looking, the making out in each other's bedrooms when their parents thought they were "studying" together. But at school, they could be themselves. And Derek wanted nothing more than to show her off as his. She may have started out as a keener loser, but no guy at McKinley could deny how hot she was. And Derek still had enough street cred, despite being in glee, that people had left them alone so far.

When Casey was done her discussion of musicals (at least for the moment), Derek pulled her closer and said, "So, I want your honest opinion. How was my mash-up solo?"

"You're still missing the elusive high B," she said thoughtfully. "That's a brass ring for a baritenor. I had to work on it for weeks with Ralph before he got it."

Derek grimaced. If anyone else had said it, it would have been an insult, but Derek knew by now that it was actually a compliment: she really thought he'd be able to get that high B. The part that troubled Derek was the fact that Casey was still thinking about Ralph. He had been avoiding his friend, knowing that even though Ralph was with Sally, he had every right to call Derek out on dating Casey. After all, Derek knew what had gone on between them, at least the basics, and while Derek was sure Ralph loved Sally, he knew Ralph had slight feelings of attraction for Casey. And Derek didn't want things to be awkward between him and Ralph. So he had pretty much ignored him since he had started "going out" with Casey. Not the best solution, he knew, but Derek didn't want to fight with his best friend.

All of Derek's insecurities about Ralph were alleviated when Casey pulled him against the lockers and put her arms around his neck. "You're a great performer, Derek. I just want to say how proud I am to have you on my arm in front of the whole high school." She grasped his hands and leaned in to kiss him, and Derek didn't think twice about kissing back.

She had realized right away that mentioning Ralph wasn't the best idea. She had a feeling Derek could tell she was still a little hung up on him. But that didn't mean that what she had with Derek wasn't real. It was never supposed to be, but in the last few days, Operation Parental Breakup had been put on the back burner, and she was just enjoying being his girlfriend. Besides, their parents hadn't known each other that long. They wouldn't get married anytime soon.

The first bell rang, and Derek reluctantly pulled away from Casey. They headed back down the hall arm-in-arm, and before either could react, Derek was slushied in the face by Karoffski.

The force of it threw him backwards, and knocked the wind out of him. As soon as he could open his eyes, he scanned the hall for Karoffski, but the jerk was already gone. Casey put a hand over her mouth. She never would have thought Derek would be a target!

Casey led him into the girls' room and grabbed a folding chair from against the wall. She set it up in front of one of the sinks and helped Derek sit down. She stripped off his shirt and hung it over a stall door.

He sat in silence, watching her moving around. Finally, she cupped his chin and leaned him back against the sink. She ran her hands through his hair, rinsing the slushie out of it.

"You're pretty good at this," Derek murmured, still shell-shocked by what had just happened.

Casey smiled. "I've had a lot of practice. You're actually a lot luckier than Sally and me. You have much less hair." She pulled a towel out of her bookbag and dried his head, then his chest.

He put his hand over hers as she rubbed the towel over his skin. "I'm really sorry I ever did this to you," he said quietly. Casey could tell that Derek did not apologize for things very often, so this meant a lot.

"That's okay," she replied, sitting on his lap. His head was still leaning back into the sink, and he raised it slightly to look at her.

"No, it isn't." He put his arm around her waist and rubbed absently at her hip. "I had no idea what it was like. No one deserves this feeling."

Casey looked down sadly while Derek kept talking. "You know what the worst part is? It's not the burning in your eyes, or the way the slushie drips all the way into your underpants…it's…it's the humiliation." Casey nodded slowly. "I feel like I could burst into tears at any moment. And you know I don't _do_ tears. Casey…I'm sorry, but today when the clock chimes three-thirty…"

Casey finished his sentence for him. "You're choosing hockey over glee, which means we probably can't be together anymore." She choked back tears, and gave him a small smile.

"Yes," Derek nodded. "This whole plan was never a good idea. We come from different worlds."

Casey shrugged. "That may be true. But either way, I don't want to be your sister. Can't we still get the Operation back on track…"

"My heart's not in it, Case. If we ever get to tell our parents we're together, it will be because we're really together, not because we cooked up some scheme to keep them apart."

It was as close to an admission of his true feelings as Casey was going to get, but she was touched.

"I feel the same way about you." Casey planted a soft kiss on his forehead, and slowly got up off of his lap, pulling him up too. They held his shirt under the hand dryer together, eyes locked. They wanted to treasure their last moments as a couple.

~L~

Paul looked up excitedly as Kathy entered his classroom. They were going to try out a slow song on their lunch hour.

"What did you choose?" Paul asked.

Kathy held up a CD. "'I Could Have Danced All Night'."

"_My Fair Lady_, excellent!" Paul loaded the CD and the music began.

Paul showed Kathy the opening positions for the waltz. Paul bowed; Kathy curtsied.

Then the song began, and Paul counted aloud to help Kathy with her footwork.

"I could have danced all night, I could have danced all night, and still have begged for more," Kathy sang to herself. The lyrics could not have been more fitting for her current situation…floating in Paul's arms.

"I could have spread my wings, and done a thousand things I've never done before…"

Paul lifted Kathy and spun her right at the lyric about her heart taking flight.

"I only know when he began to dance with me, I could have danced, danced, danced all night!"

When the song ended, Paul dipped her, and they held that position until the music stopped.

Kathy looked up into Paul's eyes and tried to read his thoughts. But he seemed to be concentrating on a spot somewhere over her head. "Yeah. Good," Paul said, abruptly pulling them upwards and breaking the contact. Kathy's face fell; he seemed angry. But within seconds, he was back to his jovial self.

"So, today's the big showdown," he joked, though he was truly worried.

Kathy nodded sympathetically. "That's right. I'm sure everything will work out, Paul."

"Yeah, well, unless all the athletes choose glee, we won't have enough members for sectionals."

"Then glee is over," Kathy agreed sadly.

"I know." Paul leaned forward and gave her a hug. "Wish me luck."

Kathy hugged him back, savoring the moment, even though it came from a depressing place. "Good luck."

~L~

Casey, Sally, Kendra, Max, Amy, Sandra, Noel, Sheldon, and Emily stared at the choir room clock. It was 3:29.

Paul came over to join them. "Hey guys," he said softly.

The clock hand moved to 3:30, and ten faces turned toward the doorway. After several seconds, Paul hung his head. "I guess they're not coming. Sorry, guys."

"I can't believe this," Emily sighed. "I thought they were our friends. How can they just abandon us?"

Casey knew how. They had their priorities, and she had hers. It wasn't fair to just assume they'd match up. A week before, she never would have believed Derek capable of being responsible and compassionate. But today, she knew he had wrestled with his choice, and she respected him for making it, even though it made her ache inside.

Sam entered the room, and the ten people already in it let out sighs of relief. Emily and Sandra ran over to hug him, and he rejoined the group with a smile. He exchanged fist bumps with Noel, Max, and Sheldon.

"Are the others coming?" Paul asked nervously.

"I dunno. JV's a little different. They won't miss me at their practice. But varsity…" he shrugged, and Paul's face fell.

The clock turned to 3:31.

A few moments later, Derek came shuffling through the door, hands in his pockets. There was a collective gasp when everyone saw him, and Casey wasted no time in throwing herself into his arms.

"Are you sure about this, Derek?" she asked into his neck. "Choosing us over the team means you might get a slushie in your face every day."

He gripped her tighter, and looked over her shoulder to the rest of glee. "Bring it!" he said, loudly enough for everyone to hear.

They laughed, and he picked Casey up and spun her around before grabbing her hand and leading her over to the rest of the club, where he took turns high-fiving everyone.

Now only Ralph was left. The eleven members and Paul stared at the doorway, but it remained empty.

"Where's Ralph?" Noel asked Sally.

Sally looked pained, but didn't answer. She knew she probably would have made the same choice he was making, but she didn't care about glee like Ralph did. He _loved_ it.

Over at the hockey rink, Ralph was suited up and ready to go. He felt sick to his stomach for ditching his friends, but he knew it was for the best. He couldn't go through high school a teen father, a glee clubber, and a hockey player. One of them had to go. As he skated onto the ice, the team clapped. He stopped right in front of Coach Tanaka, who just nodded and said, "Okay, let's get started."

~L~

The slushie wars continued. The next week, a new slushie-er navigated the halls, searching for his target. He bypassed Sam, Noel, and Emily, who were clad in multicolored raincoats. They ducked anyway.

He stopped at Casey and Sheldon, who were chatting by Sheldon's locker. They too were in full rain gear.

When Sheldon saw who it was, he turned and faced him. "Do it."

"I really don't want to, honestly," Ralph whined. "Besides, I know how picky you are about what products you use on your face."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "But you've been getting so much pressure from the gorillas on the hockey team. I guess they didn't appreciate me resigning from the football team and choosing glee, is that why I'm your target?"

"Yeah, it probably would have gone over better if you didn't announce it in the showers," Ralph said with a shrug.

Emily, Noel, and Sam had reached them by this point, and stood behind Ralph, glaring at his back.

"You are not gonna slushie my man," Emily spoke up, walking past Ralph and putting her arm around Sheldon.

"You two are official now?" Ralph asked, looking happy for them.

Emily and Sheldon smiled at each other. "I guess so," Emily said.

"Em, Ralph's made his choice," Casey interjected. She put a hand on her shoulder and glared at Ralph. "He doesn't care about us _losers_ anymore."

"Aw, that's not true," Ralph moaned, clearly frustrated. "But if I don't do it, the guys on the team are gonna kick the crap out of me. Derek's not around anymore to keep them from getting violent."

Sheldon let go of Emily and stepped forward. "Well, we can't have that, can we?" He grabbed the slushie cup out of Ralph's hands.

"What are you doing?"

"It's called taking one for the team." And with that, he tossed the slushie into his own face. It splattered a little on Casey and Emily, who jumped back and shrieked. Sam's and Noel's mouths dropped open.

Sheldon wiped the slushie out of his eyes. "Now get out of here. And take some time to think about whether or not any of your 'friends' on the hockey team would have done that for you."

Ralph looked like he wanted to help his dripping friend, but wasn't sure what to do, so with a horrified groan, he ran off.

Sheldon wiped more slushie off his face, and Emily and Casey rushed him into the nearest girls' room to clean him up. Noel and Sam watched them go.

"Man," Sam shook his head. "Crazy."

"I know." Noel sighed. "Why can't we all just get along?"

~L~

Derek sat on the bleachers at the ice rink, watching his former teammates play. Casey spotted him and walked over. She had figured he'd be there, sulking.

"You miss it?" she asked, sitting down next to him and snuggling against his chest. He didn't put his arm around her.

"Hell, no."

"I hope…" Casey looked down and tried again. "I hope you didn't choose glee over hockey because of me."

"Why?"

"We both know this relationship isn't going to work out." She had thought long and hard about her decision, and knew it was for the best.

Derek slid away from her. "That's cool. I was going to break up with you anyway."

"No, you weren't." Casey eyed him carefully. She desperately wanted him to _fight for her_, but knew it wasn't his style.

"Yes, I was." Derek refused to look at her.

"Derek—"

"My dad bought a ring."

"What?" Casey grabbed his hand, and he finally looked at her. His expression was hard to read.

"Yeah. I don't know when he'll propose, but it might be soon. So that's it. They'll never believe us now if we say we're together. My dad will know it's a reaction to the ring."

"But like you said…what if it's real between us?" Casey's lip quivered.

"Doesn't matter. We can't, Casey. They'd watch our every move. If we even lasted long enough to get to the wedding, that is. Look at how much trouble we're having, just being together at school."

"It was good for awhile." Casey rested against him again, and this time he put his arm around her.

"But just not good enough."

They sat quietly for a moment, until Derek spoke again. "You still like Ralph, don't you?"

Casey nodded against him, and he couldn't see her face, but he could tell she was trying to keep from crying.

"He's never going to leave Sally. Not with that baby in her belly." Derek watched Ralph out on the ice, thinking of everything Ralph was giving up for his child. _Derek's_ child.

"Do you like Sally?" She lifted her head to look at him.

"No," Derek scoffed uneasily. "What makes you say that?"

Casey shrugged. "Just the way you look at her sometimes."

"We had a thing awhile back, that's all." Derek decided that that was close enough to the truth.

"Oh. Well, you're probably right. Ralph and Sally won't break up now."

He shook his head. "Nope."

"Derek, tell me the truth. Why did you join glee?"

Derek sighed. "A few reasons…but mostly because of you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. My dad told me I should make an effort to get to know you better."

Casey palmed his cheek. "If that's what you want me to believe, I'll buy it."

Derek smirked and kissed the tip of her nose. "You're too smart for your own good."

"So, back to being a jerk?" Casey asked teasingly. But she was also kind of serious. She didn't want their current bond to disappear.

"I have to protect my rep," Derek replied. "But no more slushie facials for you. I promise. I'll try to keep the hockey guys away from _all_ of us in glee, too, if I can."

"Thanks." She started to pull away from him. "I should go."

He held her to him. "Not yet."

"Why prolong this? Our relationship was built on a fantasy. Like every other one in my life." She glanced out at Ralph again.

"I hope we can still be friends," Derek said, trying not to sound too eager.

Casey shook her head. "We weren't friends before."

Derek had no answer for that, because she was right.

"I'll see you at the next 'family' dinner," she said, eyes filling with tears as she got up to leave.

"Case…" He stood up as well and grabbed her by the shoulders, giving her one last, gentle kiss. She leaned into him and breathed him in, trying to memorize how good she felt in that moment. She would need the memory to get her through what she could already tell would be tough times ahead. She'd have to see him in glee, and at their houses, and in the halls. It wasn't going to be easy to stay away from him. But somehow, she'd do it.

~L~

Later that day, Ralph was working in his front yard when Paul drove up. He got out, holding a Nerf ball. He needed to talk to Ralph with no distractions, no other students around.

"Hey Ralph, wanna have a catch?"

"Sure." He put down his rake and ran to the other side of the yard. Paul tossed him the ball.

"I'm not coming back," Ralph said before Paul could ask him anything.

They continued throwing the ball back and forth. "These are the moments, Ralph," Paul finally said. "They're the crossroads. The ones you look back on when you get old and think, 'what if'."

"I don't buy that. I don't think any one decision makes your life. Unless you accidentally invent some kind of zombie virus or something," he conceded.

Paul chuckled. "Ah, you're right. Life's a series of choices. A combination of moments. Little ones that add up to big ones that create who you are."

They continued their catch for a few moments until Paul added, "You're letting other people make those choices for you, Ralph. You're letting them decide who you're gonna be. People you're not even going to know in three years. People whose names you're going to forget, when you run into them in the hardware store." While he was talking, Paul was walking closer and closer to Ralph, having stopped the game.

"You don't understand the kind of pressure I'm under," Ralph said quietly.

"Yes, I do. Because of all the students I've ever had, you remind me the most of me." It was true. Paul may have had better grades than Ralph, but they had similar personalities. Paul always tried to find the good in people. And he felt the need to protect his friends. Ralph was a good kid. He just needed someone to tell him that _it was going to be okay_.

Ralph was staring at him, unsure of what to say. "Come back to glee, Ralph," Paul said, smacking his chest lightly with the ball. "It's where you belong." Paul patted his shoulder and walked back to his car, leaving Ralph deep in thought.

~L~

The next day, Ralph went to see Coach Tanaka. "I'm team captain, right? You trust me to lead the team?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, all this stuff about having to choose between glee and hockey, it's making it hard for me to lead. Leaders are supposed to see things that other guys don't, right? Like, they can imagine a future where things are better…like Thomas Jefferson, or that kid from the _Terminator_ movies."

Coach Tanaka nodded, clearly interested with where this was going despite his annoyance.

"I see a future where it's cool to be in glee club. Where you can play hockey _and_ sing and dance, and no one gets down on you for it. Where the more different you are, the better. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't want to have to choose between them anymore…that's not cool." Ralph eyed his coach, who was still silently mulling this over.

Coach Tanaka cleared his throat. "That uh, that Thursday practice, that's canceled indefinitely. I got some stuff I gotta do; laundry, things like that."

Ralph was pretty sure that was a good sign. "Oh. Sweet." He turned to leave.

"Ralph. Tell Derek, too, will ya? And Sam."

"Sure. Thanks, Coach." Ralph smiled at him and left the locker room.

~L~

"Paul!" Ryan barked, coming up behind him in the hallway as he was taking a drink at the water fountain.

"Yeah?" Paul asked, wiping his mouth.

"I'll need to see that set list for sectionals after all. I want it on my desk warm from the laminator at five p.m. And if it is one minute late, I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in _love _with that kitty cat. And then, on some dark, cold night, I will steal away into your home, and _punch_ you in the _face_."

Paul stared at Ryan, trying to follow that line of logic. He didn't trust the maniacal gleam in his eyes. "Ryan?"

"What?"

"How'd you do in the dance-a-thon?" Paul had a feeling the return of The Fridge had something to do with that, and he was right.

"My mother decided to take her new boyfriend instead."

"Ah." Paul wanted to tell him something sympathetic, but Ryan had already walked away.

As Ryan passed Sally in the hall, he told her to take off her sunglasses. "I want to look in your eyes when I give you this piece of business." Sally removed her glasses. "You're off the Cheerios. I can't have a pregnant girl on my squad."

Sally opened her mouth to protest, but Ryan glared at her. "You're a disgrace."

He left her standing in the middle of the hallway, crying quietly. Even though the hallway was crowded, no one around her noticed; they were too busy laughing and talking with their friends. She had never felt more alone.

~L~

Paul knocked on Kathy's office door after school and she called for him to come in.

"Hey," she said with a smile.

He didn't smile back. "Look, I think we should stop the dance lessons."

Kathy nodded. She had been expecting this. "Oh. Yes, well. Um, thank you," she stuttered.

Paul looked like he wanted to say something else, but instead he closed his mouth and walked out of her office with a limp wave. Kathy swallowed hard. If this thing between them kept up, she was going to have a hard time keeping her feelings to herself. One day, she was going to burst out with how she felt, and that wouldn't do anybody any good. She was going to have to learn to control herself better.

~L~

"So, what do you think about my welcome back gift to the club?" Ralph asked as he passed out slushies to everyone at glee.

"Thanks, Ralph, they're delicious," Casey told him. As much as it hurt to see him so happy with Sally, she was glad he had rejoined glee. Singing hadn't been the same without him.

"They're loaded with empty calories," Sheldon informed them. "You know why they call them slushies, don't you? Because your butt looks like one if you have too many of them." The girls giggled.

Ralph proposed a toast. "To Paul. You were right about hockey and glee club being a killer combination." He raised his slushie cup to Paul, and the others followed suit.

"Paul," Noel spoke up, "I'm sorry to report that we've all been remiss about completing our assignment this week."

"Yeah, none of us could find a good groove for 'Bust a Move,'" Emily agreed.

"And I personally feel like a failure," Sam said, and those around him patted his back.

"That's okay guys," Paul conceded. "Because I feel like the lesson landed. That's what's important. Besides, we're glad to have you back, Ralph."

There were hearty cries of agreement, except from Sally, who was sitting quietly at the edge of their group.

"You okay, Sally?" Paul asked.

"Do I look okay? I'm devastated. Now that I'm off the Cheerios, I'll start every day with a slushie facial."

"You weren't getting slushied before you joined the Cheerios," Casey said matter-of-factly.

Sally gave her a withering look. "But at least I was in Celibacy Club then. I don't even have that anymore. My popularity has hit rock bottom." She glared at Kendra, who shrugged. Sally was her best friend, but it was now obvious to the world that Sally did not belong in Celibacy Club. Besides, they had taken a vote. It wasn't Kendra's fault.

"Well, you know what?" Paul said. "That's okay if you get slushied. Because right here are eleven of your friends who will be more than happy to help clean you off." He couldn't stop the slushie war, but he could at least take care of the wounded.

Everyone chimed in their agreement. Sally managed a smile.

"Oh!" Paul put a hand to his forehead. "Brain freeze! I can't imagine getting hit in the kisser with one of these."

The glee clubbers glanced around at each other. "You've never been hit by a slushie before, Paul?" Noel asked as he took a step forward.

Paul backed away. "Uh…"

Suddenly eleven more people were taking steps forward.

"All right, guys…" Paul chuckled nervously.

They kept advancing, impish smiles on all of their faces.

"We're a team." Paul held up his arms. "Fine. Bring it on. Give me your best shot!"

Casey counted off. "One…two…three!"

Twelve cups' worth of slushie hit Paul square in the chest, face, and hair. He quickly wiped the corn syrup from his eyes and said through the slushie dripping into his mouth, "From the top!"

The glee kids were too busy applauding and whooping for Paul to even think about singing just yet.

Top of Form


	9. Wheels

As the Cheerios jumped around the gym with jump ropes in hand, their sneakers squeaking against the shiny floor, Sally sat in the bleachers, musing quietly in the back of her head about how excited she had been when she heard there was going to be a jump rope routine and how she wouldn't be able to do it.

"You shouldn't do this to yourself," Ralph said quietly. She hadn't even noticed him walking in and sitting next to her.

"Do what?" Sally asked blankly, staring out into the crowd of cheerleaders.

"I know how much it hurts to be off the team," Ralph began, his voice empathetic. "You're just torturing yourself watching."

"I need a good distraction," Sally explained, shaking her head weakly as she watched Ryan pace back and forth, yelling corrections at the jump roping cheerleaders.

"From what?" Ralph inquired as sensitively as he could. Sally heaved a heavy sigh, reached into the white purse at her side, pulling out a slip of paper, handing it to her boyfriend, whose eyes grew wide once he scanned his eyes across it. "Six-hundred and eighty-five dollars?"

"That's how much a sonogram costs," Sally said, moving her eyes away from the cheerleading routine and to a very shocked Ralph. "This is just the beginning, there's gonna be more doctor's visits, vitamins... new clothes for when I explode…"

"What are we gonna do?" Ralph asked, already feeling panicky.

"What are _you _gonna do?" Sally spat. She was a pregnant woman; _she _couldn't get a job without explaining to her parents why she would have to go on maternity leave.

"Well, I'm looking for a job... nobody's hiring," Ralph frowned regretfully. "I almost got in at Olive Garden, but they said I was too tall to be a bus boy."

Sally gathered every ounce of power she had and used it to keep a level head. She thanked her pregnancy hormones for the moment of calm. "Somewhere in that pea brain of yours is a man," she said. "Access him and tell him to prove to me I chose the right guy to have a baby with."

"I will! I'll get a job, you can count on me, I swear," Ralph said urgently as Sally stood up, grabbing her purse and hauling it over her shoulder. She turned to face him and nodded uncertainly. "Where are you going?"

"You're right," Sally mumbled. "This does hurt too much."

She walked across the bleachers as to not have to face Ryan, who was being interviewed by Tinker.

"My blog has lit up with comments suggesting you don't have a chance at nationals since you lost Sally Albright," he said after he peered back at the very girl he was talking about. He then pointed his microphone at Ryan.

"No, the Cheerios are stronger than ever," Ryan corrected. "We're gonna take nationals with this routine."

One of the male cheerleaders did several back flips with his jump rope still in his hands, landing straight on his feet and doing several more jumps before the routine ended. "Mediocre!" Ryan screeched into his megaphone. "Hit the showers!"

Tinker continued to hound Ryan with questions as he left the gym. "I have several sources reporting that Sally didn't want to leave, but you kicked her out due to the pregnancy scandal," he suggested as they left the large room.

"Well, Tinker, this is Ohio, and in order to win, my Cheerios need to appeal to that panel of judges. So, if I have a pregnant girl doing hand-spring a double layout, the judges aren't going to be admiring her impeccable form, they're going to be wondering weather the centrifugal force is going to make the baby's head start crowning. Oh, and by the way? All of this?" he grabbed Tinker's microphone as they walked down the hallway, and Tinker gasped. "Off the record, probably should've told you that earlier."

But Paul walked down the same hallway with Lassiter with a very different issue on his mind.

"This is not fair," he grumbled.

"Is it fair that I had to stop providing the baseball team with protective cups?" Lassiter asked rhetorically. "I only get a certain amount of dollars per year to spend, Paul."

"Yeah but the club-"

"Is used to overcoming challenges," Lassiter said as they walked down the hall and into his office. "Some of your kids can drive; most of them have parents who can drive them. We have budget cuts, Paul, _major _budget cuts. I can't afford to pay for your transportation to sectionals."

"Oh, but there's enough money to fly the Cheerios all over the country for their competitions?" Paul challenged.

"Ryan Sylvester has boosters that write fat checks," Lassiter explained as he sat at his desk. "None of her travel expenses come out of the school budget."

"Look, when I was in the glee club, the best part of the competitions was the bus ride to the event," Paul began sincerely, his voice softening. "It was about comradery and supporting each other."

"You think I feel good about this?" Lassiter asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, my students won't stand for it,"

"That's very moving, but my hands are tied, Paul," Lassiter explained. "If you want that bus, you're going to have to find a way to pay for it yourself."

Paul stared at Lassiter in disbelief, but he knew he could find some way to provide the funds. He just had to think of something…

~L~

"What about Target?" Sally asked desperately as she sat next to Ralph on one of the many chairs in the choir room.

"Tried," Ralph explained. "Not hiring."

"Another doctor's bill came to my parents' house last night, Ralph," Sally said, panic clearly rising in her voice. "We're lucky that I'm clever and I intercepted it, but we have to start paying these doctor's bills or else they're gonna go to a collection agency, and they're gonna find out that I'm with child... your child!"

Neither Sally nor Ralph noticed that Derek was eavesdropping, looking at Sally guiltily, but also sadly. That baby _was _his responsibility, and he did want to take care of it, but that would mean the secret getting out, and he wasn't sure if Sally would let that happen.

"Alright, guys, we're doing a new number for sectionals," Paul called cheerily as he walked into the choir room with sheets of paper, passing them out to the students. "I know that pop pieces have sort of been our signature pieces, but I did some research on past winners, and it turns out that judges like stuff that's more accessible, stuff they know, uh, standards, Broadway."

"Defying Gravity?" Sheldon gasped, his eyes wide as saucers as he sat next to Emily, squeezing her hand what may have been a little too tightly. "I have an entire iPod shuffle dedicated to selections from Wicked... this is amazing!"

Paul smiled, but turned to Casey quickly, asking if her if she could handle it. Sheldon looked at Paul disappointedly, but the teacher was too wrapped up in the excitement of the new number to notice.

"It's my go-to shower song," Casey grinned. "It's also my ringtone."

"Great," Paul grinned. "Onto item two… she school won't pay the expenses we need to travel to sectionals together."

"What?" Sam asked in disbelief.

"That's completely unfair," Casey agreed.

"So, we're gonna have to raise money to pay for it ourselves," Paul said. "See, when I was in glee club, and we needed new silk cummerbunds for regionals, we held a bake sale."

The students peered at their teacher uncertainly and began to giggle collectively.

"Wait, you're kidding, right?" Kendra asked, her arms crossed. "I mean bake sales are kind of bourgie."

"So, hip people stopped eating delicious sugary treats?" Paul asked sarcastically with his arms crossed.

"It's not that, it's just, most of us don't know how to bake," Amy said from her seat next to Kendra. "I find recipes confusing."

"My family's fully committed to take out," Derek said passively.

"Yeah, Paul, kids are busier now than they were when you went to school," Ralph tried to explain. "We've got homework, football, teen pregnancy... lunch."

"Can't we just drive there ourselves?" Emily asked, tilting her head to the side. "Or get our parents to drive us?"

"I can't believe you guys," Paul began, shaking his head. "You're a team; don't you want to act like a team? _Be _a team?"

"I don't see what riding in a bus together has to do with being a team," Casey spoke, and the rest of the students nodded in agreement, with the acceptation of Noel, who sat in the corner quietly.

"Anything that takes away time from rehearsal isn't serving the team," Sheldon added logically.

The bell rang, and Paul looked away from the glee clubbers in disappointment, but he tried not to show it. The students poured out of the room, but Noel walked up to him before leaving, his backpack slung over only one shoulder.

"For the record, I don't agree with them," He began. "And um, do you think I could maybe use the auditorium this afternoon to rehearse? Some of the band equipment is in there."

"Sure," Paul smiled. "Thanks for agreeing with me."

~L~

Noel stood on the stage of the auditorium with an acoustic guitar in his hands, an instrument that he had played since he was eleven. He strummed the first few notes of a personal favorite song, and then began to sing.

"On the floor of Tokyo, or down in London town to go, go," he sang, moving his shoulders with the music. "With the record selection and the mirror's reflection, I'm dancing with myself."

"When there's no one else in sight in a crowded lonely night, well I waited so long for my love vibration, and I'm dancing with myself," his voice was sweet and calm, having a bit of a bluesy feel to it. "Oh, dancing with myself, dancing with myself, well there's nothing to lose, and there's nothing to prove, I'll be dancing with my self."

"If I looked all over the world, and there's every type of girl, but your empty eyes seem to pass me by and leave me dancing with myself," he walked around the stage with his guitar in his arms as he sang, and absent mindedly thought of Sandra. They had talked a few times, and he couldn't help but feel himself maybe… beginning to like her. But there is an unspoken knowledge between guys of how they act when they're into a girl, and it usually consists of staring googly-eyed stares towards that girl, and Sam and noticed Noel noticing Sandra. He also would not stop poking fun at him. "So let's sink another drink 'cause it'll give me time to think, if I had the chance, I'd ask the world to dance, and I'll be dancing with myself."

"Oh, dancing with myself, dancing with myself, well there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove so I'll be dancing with myself," he sang with a light smile on his face in spite of everything, staring out into the empty seats of the auditorium. "Oh, dancing with myself, dancing with myself, well there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove so I'll be dancing with myself."

Paul approached one of the wings of the stage and looked at Noel, and felt proud of him because he cared so much.

~L~

"I have something I'd like to say," Sheldon announced as he raised his hand. When Paul gave him the go-ahead, he stood up. "I wanna audition for the Wicked solo."

The rest of the students whooped and 'ooh'ed collectively, but Casey snapped her vision towards Paul in worry.

"Sheldon, there's a high F in it," Paul said skeptically.

"That's well within my range," Sheldon assured him saucily, and beside him, Emily giggled.

"Well, I think Casey's gonna be fine for the female lead. But I'm happy to have you try out for something else, Sheldon, and we'll make sure it's got a killer high note," Paul tried to close the situation, but Sheldon assured himself that this was _not _over with a glare in his teacher's direction. "Anyway, I wanted to say something to you guys. I was a little disappointed how you were all so willing to not even try to build up the funds for the bus. It's not about going together; it's about _being _together and supporting each other. Don't you guys want to support each other?"

"I'm sorry to be blunt, Paul," Casey started. "But nobody really cares."

"I care," Noel said with a slight glare in Casey's direction. "Stop speaking for everybody."

"Why are you taking this personally?" Casey questioned, reeling back.

"You're irritating," Noel said, and Casey's eyebrows furrowed, and the rest of the club members looked back and forth like it was a tennis match. "Oh, sorry, did you take that personally?"

"Alright guys, that's enough. The point is that we're going to sectionals together, or we're not going at all. And to pay for the bus? We're having a bake sale," Paul turned and walked over to the piano where there was a box of brightly colored pieces of cloth. "Now, to prove to you just how much you all need each other, for the next three days, all of you are going to be leading someone and be led around in the school in between classes… blindfolded."

They all looked at him blankly.

"Seriously?" Kendra spluttered. "We're going to look ridiculous – not even _I _can pull that off."

"When I call off two names, you're going to walk up here and get two blindfolds," Paul explained. "Casey and Noel!"

The two exchanged a quick look and both grumbled in their heads, but stood up nonetheless. Casey grabbed a pink blindfold and Noel picked up a green one.

"Ralph and Emily," the two walked up, Emily grabbing a purple blindfold and Ralph picking up a dark blue one.

"Derek and Sam," the two lamented audibly, and Derek grabbed a black blindfold while Sam picked up a yellow one.

"Sheldon and Sally," Sheldon picked up a maroon blindfold and Sally grabbed a light blue one, and they acknowledged each other with a slight smile.

"Kendra and Sandra," Paul called.

"Ugh," Kendra grumbled, narrowing her eyes. "But she's unpopular. I have a reputation to protect!"

"Kendra, be nice," Sally commanded, and Kendra rolled her eyes, walking up to Paul and grabbing a bright red blindfold that matched her outfit, and Sandra picked up a violet one.

"Max and Amy," Paul said, and Max was a little less than enthusiastic when the last colors available were cyan and hot pink. Amy snatched up the hot pink one, leaving Max with an obnoxious color of blue.

"Well," Paul began with a grin. "I hope you all have fun."

"Loads," Derek cringed.

~L~

"Left," Noel said as he held Casey's wrist, guiding her down the hallway as he walked backwards.

"Left? But my next class is to the right," Casey said frustratedly. "Aren't you in that class, too?"

"_My _left," Noel sighed, rolling his eyes. "And yes."

"Well, you should've specified," Casey bit, and she heard a few snickers from some people around her. "Who was that?"

"Kendra. No, no, no, don't run into the locker!" Noel exclaimed, and they moved over a step or two. "She's ditching the blindfold thing unless she sees Paul around."

"Oh,"

"Hey, look, uh," Noel cleared his throat nervously as he guided her to her next class. "I'm sorry about calling you irritating and everything."

"It's fine," Casey waved it off, and she accidentally brushed up against what she thought was a guitar case. "I get that a lot."

"Yeah, you might want to work on that," Noel suggested, and the bell rang as they approached their English class. "Right on time."

~L~

"I didn't even know we had a Home Ec room," Derek commented as he walked into a small, homey room where Sally stood at a counter with plastic bowls and boxed items scattered around her. "What's all this?"

"Ingredients for cupcakes for the stupid bake sale," Sally explained nonchalantly.

Derek pulled something out of his pocket before grabbing Sally's hand and slipping it into her palm. "What's this?" She asked.

"It's what I have left over from my pool cleaning money," Derek said, leaning against the counter. "After I bought nacho dip and numchucks, I was getting that you kind of need money... for our kid."

"For my kid," Sally corrected, and he looked down at the floor. "Eighteen dollars?"

"How much has Ralph given you?" Derek asked with a very clear challenge in his voice.

"Just stop," Sally said, turning away from her ingredients for a moment. "I told you before, I don't care if that baby comes out with shaggy hair, I will go to my grave _swearing _that it's Ralph's."

She put the money back in his hand, but he leaned in and whispered in her ear, "It'd be pretty awesome if it had shaggy hair,"

"You are such an egghead," Sally whispered with a laugh.

"I'm not," Derek said softly, but before Sally could get too caught up in his brown eyes, she turned to the counter and reached for an egg. She held the soft, cold egg in her hand before splattering it onto his head and laughing, biting her lower lip, and her face read, 'You are now'.

Derek grinned and reached for some flower, flicking it in her face, and Sally returned with fistfuls of coco powder, but Derek poured sugar all over the top of her head.

"Hey," Sally squealed as Derek tossed baking powder at her. "That was perfectly measured!"

Sally threw a good three or four eggs at him, and Derek yelped in surprise, but he advanced on her after she quit a giggle fit, and she looked up at him.

"Thanks, Emily," Ralph said as he took off his blindfold, feeling somewhat dizzy. The two heard a light 'you're welcome' before Ralph fully walked in the room and saw two teenagers covered in baking ingredients. "What the hell?"

"We're baking," Sally giggled with a bounce.

"I can see that," Ralph said, dumbstruck as he scanned the two. He'd sort of baked with his grandma before, and he was pretty sure _that _never happened.

"I'm gonna go get changed," Derek said as he peered down at his egg-covered black collared shirt.

~L~

Sheldon sat with Emily at lunch, but while Emily spoke, she noticed that he wasn't acting quite himself. "Are you okay, honey?" she asked, placing a hand on his arm.

"Hmm?" he asked, slipping out of his daze.

"You," Emily began. "You're really out of it. What's going on?"

"Defying Gravity," Sheldon replied, picking at his food quietly. "I don't get why Paul won't even give me a chanceto sing it _just _because it's traditionally sung by a girl."

"I don't get it either, you sing like a girl," Emily exclaimed, but when Sheldon cast an odd look in her direction, she backtracked. "In a good way. I mean, come on, there's more crossover everywhere now. …Like that girl who joined the wrestling team."

"But her parents had to sue the school," Sheldon said, and he propped his head up on his hands, staring across the room.

"This is really getting you down, isn't it, babe?" Emily said with a frown.

"I'm full of ennui," Sheldon confirmed, but Emily eyed him confusedly. He noticed, and so he clarified. "It's really getting me down."

~L~

Emily knocked on the door to Paul's office, and he called out for her to come in.

"Oh, hello Emily," Paul said. "What's going on?"

"I'd like to speak with you," Emily said seriously as she shut the door. Paul's eyebrows furrowed, but he motioned for her to sit down. "I am here on behalf of Sheldon Shlepper. You cannot discriminate against the aforementioned because of his sex, religion, political affiliation or financial situation, and neither I nor he will stand for it."

"Excuse me?" Paul asked with a slight, confused laugh.

"Sheldon wants only the _chance _to be considered for the lead in the upcoming number, Defying Gravity, that you have selected for New Directions to perform and you have not given him that chance, and when he requested to audition for the part very reasonably, you rejected his requisition immediately," Emily accused. "_You_ put on a blindfold and listen to my boyfriend sing, and you will swear you're hearing Ronnie Spector."

"Wait-"

"Don't try to backpannel on this," Emily held up her hand to stop him, but Paul held up his own hands in surrender.

"I was just going to agree with you," he admitted, and Emily's face seemed to grow very pleased with herself. "Now, I can't just give him the part, that would be just as wrong, but I _can _let him audition."

"That seems fair," Emily agreed, placing her folded hands in her lap. "But how do I know that you aren't already fixated on just _giving _Casey the part despite Sheldon's audition just to appeal to the judges?"

"I think I can come up with a reasonable solution,"

~L~

"I know this is going to be hard on you, Casey," Paul began as he prepared for a rehearsal. "But I can't in good conscience preach about becoming a team and then reject Kurt's request out of hand."

"So you're giving him my part?" Casey asked disappointedly with her blindfold pushed up to her forehead.

"No," Paul shook his head. "This is _just _an audition."

"This is totally unfair!" Casey exclaimed, only a few moments of rage away from stamping her foot like a frustrated five year old. "You _gave_ me the part."

"And I will give it to you again if you can sing the song better than Sheldon," Paul promised. "Please go sit down, Casey."

Casey turned on her heel and sat next to Max as the seats were all arranged in a half-circle, and Paul began to explain the situation. Sheldon had been beaming ever since Emily told him that she had arranged a deal with Paul, and his face still held an ear-to-ear grin.

"Now, all of you are gonna judge," Paul explained, and everyone looked at each other. "And in the spirit of full access, each of you is gonna get a vote, whatever singer gets the most votes gets the part."

"This isn't going to be about talent, Paul," Casey said loudly, bitterness coating her voice. "This is going to be a popularity contest."

"Stop right there. Paul, if I may?" Sheldon said, and Paul moved aside as Sheldon walked up to the center of the room. "We all know I'm more popular than Casey. But, I want you to promise me you're going to vote for whoever sings the song better. Raise your right hand."

Ten hands shot up, but Amy mistook her right for her left.

"Your right hand, Amy," Sheldon corrected wearily.

"It's this one," Kendra whispered, tapping her right hand, and Amy exchanged that hand for the other.

"Repeat after me; I promise to vote for whoever sings the song better,"

"I promise to vote for whoever sings the song better," nine voices rang, but Emily's voice was caught up in the mix saying,

"I promise to vote, of course, for you!"

Sheldon smiled, but cast a look in Casey's direction that she wasn't particularly fond of, but the bell rang before she had the chance to dwell on it. As the students gathered their things and their blindfolds, Casey stopped before leaving the room, looking up at Paul as Noel stood by the door, waiting for her.

"Maybe one of these days," she began bitterly. "You'll find a way to create teaching moments without ruining my life."

She pointedly turned towards the door, slipped the blindfold over her eyes and let Noel lead her out, but she ran into the wall.

~L~

"Why am I in here?" Ryan questioned impatiently as he sat in Lassiter's office. "I have a Cheerios routine to polish that's gonna clench us nationals."

"Because I wanted to talk to you about the Cheerios," the principal replied, "Now, as you may know, Paul is trying to get funding for transportation to sectionals, and it got me thinking about the club. Do you remember how Paul held open auditions?"

"Yeah, and everyone got in," Ryan snarled.

"Well," Lassiter continued. "I am insisting you do the same with your Cheerios."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Cheerios is non-accessible, Ryan," Lassiter tried to reason with the seventeen year old, and he rolled his eyes. "It's by invitation only! I want to see a squad that reflects our community's diversity."

"This is absurd!" Ryan exclaimed, his eyes growing wide.

"Now that Sally Albright is off the squad, you _will _hold open auditions to fill her slot," Lassiter instructed, refusing to take no for an answer.

"Okay, let me break this down for you," Ryan began from his spot on the chair across from Lassiter. "There comes a point when you've gotta stop seeing people for what they look like, and ask them to show you what they can do. And as soon as a cheerleader rolls herself out onto the field in a wheelchair, she becomes decidedly less affective at cheering people up – it's just a fact!"

"No, Ryan, the fact is you've never given other students the fair share that they deserve," Lassiter pressed. "I'm asking you to try it, what do you have to lose? Maybe somebody at this school will surprise you."

~L~

"Cupcake?" Ralph called, holding one of the poorly iced cupcakes as someone in the cafeteria walked by, yet they ignored him. "These cupcakes suck, that's why we're not selling any."

"It's not the cupcakes, it's us," Sally corrected frustrated. You couldn't blame her for being angry, really… she was pregnant, she was being forced to sell cupcakes and walk around with a blindfold on. "Nobody wants to buy from losers, we're in glee club _and _we've been leading each other around in blindfolds!"

"She has a point," Derek agreed, slumped over in his chair. "Six months ago, I could've sold fifty of these from fear alone."

"Oh my God," Sally started as she saw Amy walking up to the stand with Becky, one of the Cognitively Challenged girls in the school on her arm, and _no _blindfold. "What is she doing?!"

"I actually think they're kind of friends," Ralph replied, gesturing towards the two.

"Amy's always cheating off of her test papers in math class," Derek deadpanned.

"Look at how many there are," Amy said as she walked up to the stand. "And look at how pretty they Becky!"

"Wow," Becky said happily.

"Amy, where's Max?" Kendra asked, eyeing her fellow cheerleader. "Where's your blindfold?"

"I lost mine," Amy lied.

"Are you a cheerleader?" Becky questioned, looking at Kendra who nodded and smiled lightly. "You're so cool!"

"So is buying a cupcake, that's really cool," Amy tried as she placed an arm around Becky's shoulders.

"But I don't have any money," Becky replied sadly.

"That's okay," Amy assured the girl; she dug through her backpack for her wallet and pulled out a dollar, handing it to Becky, who gave it to Kendra, who passed it down the line to Ralph. Amy picked up one of the cupcakes and handed it to her.

"Thanks!" Becky said kindly before walking away, but Amy stuck around.

"So, how much do we have now?" she asked.

"Well, with this one dollar," Ralph began, putting the dollar in the small, metal box. "We now have one dollar."

"This is ridiculous," Sally said as she shook her head.

"Maybe if we put a jelly bean on top or something we'd sell more," Ralph mused as he examined the cupcakes.

"Are you an idiot?" Sally asked, anger flaring. "How can I trust you with our baby when you can't even figure out how to sell a damn cupcake?"

The students looked back and forth between their friends. They had been dealing with these arguments for weeks now.

"Stop attacking me," Ralph's voice raised. "I'm sick of it."

"Get a job," Sally said cruelly.

"I'm trying," Ralph yelled, and he stood up from his seat and kicked it aside before leaving the cafeteria. Sally stood up and ran after him, even though she felt like things would just be better if she stayed where she was.

~L~

"I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing here," Ryan hissed as Kendra and Amy sat next to him. Lassiter had requested that the two observed the auditions to keep Ryan in line.

"Just call a name, they come in and try out," Kendra explained. "Just give them a chance to express themselves or whatever."

"I'm about to projectile express myself all over your hush puppies," Ryan hissed towards the girl, who let out a light chuckle.

"Emily Davis!" Ryan called, and Emily ran in enthusiastically.

"McKinley, hey, hey, McKinley!" She sang as she clapped and stomped, and Ryan sneered at her.

"No," He said, chewing on the end of a pencil. Next, he called in Sheldon Shlepper, who twirled a baton around between his fingers, but as soon as he tossed it into the air, it whirled through the room straight towards the bleachers.

"No!" He hissed, growing more impatient as the auditions that included a rather large, tall girl in converse boots and the most terrifying, flexible person he had ever seen, and _Tinker Tomlin_, with pom-poms and all.

"Okay, I've been at this for an hour," Ryan complained, and Kendra rolled her eyes. "That's all I promised.

"Ryan," Kendra tried to reason with him. "There's just one more person on the list. How awful could she possibly be?"

"Becky Johnson!" Ryan called as he peered at the list.

"Jackson," Amy said meekly.

"Jackson!" Ryan corrected himself, and that small girl who had bought a cupcake the previous day ran up with a jump rope.

"Be nice, Ryan," Amy said from behind a clipboard. "She's my friend."

"I heard you're doing a routine with jump ropes," Becky said with a hopeful, cheery smile on her face. "I wanted to show you what I can do."

The girl began to jump rope, stumbling occasionally, and the cheerleaders at Ryan's side looked at him nervously, worried of what he might say to the girl.

"Becky, I'm gonna stop you right there," Ryan called to the girl, and she stopped, holding the rope in her hands. "You're in. Be at practice tomorrow at four PM. Congratulations."

Kendra and Amy looked at their coach in shock, but they quickly looked back to the girl, who was beaming happily, grinning and showing her braces. She ran out of the room, and Kendra looked at her coach.

"Well, look at that," she said with a slight smile. "You do have a heart."

~L~

"Turn right," Amy said as he led Max around the busy, crowded hallways the following day.

"Ouch!" Max yelped as he ran into a locker, and Amy grabbed his arm, moving him to the left.

"Sorry, I meant left," Amy smiled guiltily as she absent mindedly clasped her hand around his, he tried not to smile. He didn't know why he found her stupidity charming, but she always meant well… when she wasn't accidentally leading you into cold, metal lockers.

"It's okay," Max laughed, and someone shouted something crude and he felt a baseball bat colliding with his gut. "Ow!"

"Hey," Amy shrieked at the offender, an alarmingly tall 17 known for bullying. "Watch it, punk! You okay?"

"I might be able to breathe in a few seconds," Max joked, but he _was _winded, coughing slightly. "I do _not _get why we have to do this. Nothing good has come out of this."

"I can think of one thing," Amy said coyly as she narrowly avoided running into a locker herself.

"Oh really," Max scoffed. "What's that?"

"We got to hang out," Amy smiled, batting her eyelashes in spite of the fact that he couldn't see her.

"You've got a point," Max agreed.

~L~

"I'm just saying, she has a point," Derek said as they walked down the hallway, both having ditched their blindfold buddies (aptly nicknamed by none other than a certain Paul Greeby) for a moment. "You are kind of an idiot."

"Nice support, dude," Ralph snorted sarcastically at the insult. "Whatever happened to bros before hos?"

"You've got a baby on the way, bro," Derek began, hoping that somehow, he may put things in perspective for his thick-headed best friend. "And you haven't done _spit_ to take care of it."

"Like you'd do any different?" Ralph asked, and Derek felt himself losing his patience with his numbskull of a friend.

"Damn straight!" he affirmed.

"How? Nobody's hiring,"

"Sell your XBOX, rob a bank, go all Robin Hood on this joint... whatever it takes," Derek said, his voice growing a little too loud. Can it, Venturi, he thought to himself. He couldn't risk all of this getting out; he couldn't risk Sally shutting him out of his future child's life. "All I ever hear is you whining and crying about how hard this is on you. What about her?"

"Dude, you are so outta line," Ralph yelled, stopping in the middle of the hallway. "You don't know what I'm dealing with!"

"All I know is that you're a punk that needs to take better care of his girlfriend!" Derek yelled, pointing a finger in Ralph's face, who shoved him backwards.

"You're a punk," he retorted, and Derek took a cheap shot at his jaw, sending him flying across the floor.

The other students in the area stopped and stared at the two teenage boys, throwing punches, kicking and kneeing. Paul had heard yelling outside his office, and so he ran into the hallway, moving in between the two in an effort to stop the fight.

"Hey, hey," the two didn't even acknowledge the voice until hands were on their shoulders, yanking them to their feet and pushing them apart. "Break it up! Break it up! Hey, come on!"

"He started it," Derek yelled childishly, pointing accusatorily.

"I don't care," Paul yelled with a hand on each of their shoulders. "Now... you guys are best friends. What's going on?"

"I'm just really stressed about the bake sale," Derek lied. Paul made a face at him and Ralph looked at him with a face that read, 'you liar'. "I want to go to sectionals together, okay?!"

~L~

"Ouch," Sam groaned as he tripped over a stair. Derek didn't even bother fighting back a loud, snorting laugh. "Why didn't you tell me there was a stair there, you jerk?"

"I wanted to see your face," Derek wheezed, laughing loudly. "It was so worth it."

"You're just great, you know that?" Sam grumbled sarcastically. The hallway was mostly empty, so Derek resorted to running his ex-best friend into objects on purpose to get his jollies. His earlier fight with Ralph hadn't helped improve his mood, so he needed a clumsy, blindfolded gopher (in a beanie) to amuse him. "Starting rumors, getting into fights, leading people into inanimate objects? Someone should give you a Nobel Peace Award."

"Ugh, you're still hung up over that?" Derek asked, his nose turning up. "We were in sixth grade, dude, let it go."

"Well, it was a jerkish thing to do," Sam said as they reached the top of the stairs. "What was the point of that?"

"You liked that girl," Derek shrugged. "I wanted to embarrass you. Plus, there was that overly flamboyant kid in our class who kept winking at you every day until he moved to Florida."

Derek's laughter continued after he remembered that, and Sam blindly reached out to smack him, but he sufficiently dodged his attempts. Derek fondly reminded him that he had a blindfold on, and Sam made a point of making a note to self reminding him to glare at Paul the next time he saw him.

"I heard you fought with Ralph earlier," Sam commented briefly, and Derek rolled his eyes.

"Yeah," he confirmed as he moved Sam out of the way of a small, brunette, freshman girl with her face buried in a book. "Paul had to break it up."

"What happened?" Sam asked, and Derek kept up his lie about being stressed about the bake sale. "Oh, please, Derek. I figured out how to tell when you were lying when I was five. Just because I can't see your face doesn't mean I still can't tell."

"How about this, then," Derek began. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, I didn't want to be known as the kid in the closest when I'm straight as a board," Sam quipped, and Derek led him straight into a locker as punishment. "Ow! Eugh, Derek, just get out with it. What is it?"

"Shut up," Derek grumbled, and he walked behind Sam and started to push him faster down the hallway. "You walk about as fast as a slug crawls."

When Derek got him to his class, he bolted down the hallway. Sam _was _going to figure out what was going on, weather it meant he was going to have to pry or not.

~L~

Sheldon stood in the choir room and placed pieces of tape on each key, identifying what note it was. He tapped on each key and hit each note, all the way up to the high F.

But on the other side of the school, leaning against her locker, Emily answered her cell phone to what she didn't know to be Ryan's voice saying through the phone, "We're gonna _break _your faggot of a fake boyfriend,"

As the phone clicked on the other end, she slowly closed the phone shut and blew out a shaky breath.

"I hit it, I hit the high F!" Sheldon enthused at lunch that day as he sat next to Emily with his food. "The magical note I need for Defying Gravity!"

"That's great," Emily said with the most excitement she could muster.

"I hit it, it means I'm gonna win!" Sheldon pressed, and Emily smiled weakly with a slow blink and a worried look in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I got a phone call this morning - the anonymous kind," Emily explained in a voice just a little louder than a whisper. It was some dude telling me that they're going to 'break' my fag of a fake boyfriend."

"Oh, well, that's not a big deal," Sheldon consoled her, grabbing her hand. "I get that all the time."

"Sheldon," Emily began, her voice cracking. "They _threatened _you. I don't care that they called you something you're not, but if they meant it, you could be in danger! And, I mean, what if this has something to do with the fact that you're in glee? Sheldon, I don't want you to get hurt…"

"So, you don't want me to audition for the solo," Sheldon guessed, but it wasn't a question.

"No, I didn't say that, you shouldn't let people push you around," Emily said, and she wiped at the side of her eye with the sleeve of her shirt. "But just please, be careful… I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you."

Silence passed between them, and Sheldon nodded as he analyzed the situation in his mind. Emily congratulated him on hitting the note as she started to pick at her food, but he barely heard her.

~L~

"There you go," Ralph said as he shut Casey's locker. "The lock was just jammed."

"Thanks, Ralph," Casey said with a light hearted smile. "You were the only one willing to help me. …I'm really nervous about the diva-off tomorrow."

"Don't be," Ralph reassured her. She was one of the most talented people he knew.

"I don't want to win out of charity," Casey said sincerely as she leaned against her locker. "I want to win because it's right for the club. I really think that the judges will find a female version of Defying Gravity much more accessible. But I don't think that's gonna happen, people just don't like me."

"Yeah, you might wanna work on that," Ralph said honestly, and Casey thought in the back of her mind that she should keep a tally of how many times people said that to her. "_I_ like you."

Casey smiled and they locked eyes, but before she could say anything more, a very frustrated girlfriend in a yellow blouse stomped up to Ralph. "We need to talk!" Sally yelled.

"I'll get out of your way," Casey said quickly, beginning to shuffle away, but Sally made terrifying eye contact with her.

"No, you stay, I need a witness," Sally spat, and Casey stayed frozen in her place as Sally handed a piece of paper to Ralph. "Do you know what this is?"

"Oh, this is a Past Due notice," Ralph answered. "My grandma gets 'em all the time."

"Right, but if this doesn't get paid it's not your phone that's gonna get cut off - you will get cut off," Sally threatened, poking a finger into his chest. "You need to help me with this, Ralph, or else we're gonna go our separate ways."

Sally turned on her heel sharply and stamped out of his presence, leaving Ralph staring helplessly at the piece of paper. "I'm screwed," he said.

"Not necessarily…" Casey said, and she smiled at Ralph.

~L~

Somewhere deep inside a jungle of unbelievably hungry people surrounding a small area in the cafeteria was a cupcake stand.

As Paul navigated through said jungle of hungry teenagers (oh, the horror!), he saw clearer and clearer that the cupcake stand had almost no cupcakes and tons of money.

"Guys," Paul gasped. "This is great!"

"Derek found his Aunt Madge's old recipe," Kendra said as she licked the red icing off of her fingers. She held the cupcake up to Paul. "They're addictive, you wanna try one?"

"No, no thanks," Paul said, reeling back from the cupcake. "Wouldn't wanna take one away from a paying customer."

"Sure," Kendra muttered acceptingly, continuing her work on the cupcake.

"Nice work, buddy," Paul said approvingly at Derek, fist-bumping him as he counted the money feverishly.

But Derek was the only one who knew that it wasn't his Aunt Madge's old recipe; she couldn't bake at all, not to mention she was diabetic, so the only sweets she had in her house were gross dried fruits. Derek knew he needed to do something to help Sally out with their baby. He don't know what kind of stuff you need for a baby that's still in your stomach... bottles, diapers, that kind of thing, I guess. But his baby mama was gonna get it all. To make sure that happened, he used the two things he knew the most about; lying and crime. He had found a sling from his father when he was in a car accident, mustered up some tears and found Sandy the pot dealer. He offered him some of what he needed for free, and, you know, he didn't put enough in there to get his customers hallucinating, just enough to give them all a wicked case of the munchies. That's why they kept coming back for more.

Derek _knew _he'd make a great dad!

~L~

"Sorry, sorry," Casey pleaded as she had accidentally rammed Noel into the bathroom door when someone opened it at the wrong time.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow," Noel hissed, cringing. "I have a bruise there… and everywhere else. You're an awful guide, no offence."

"Well, it'll make a good story to tell to your grandkids," Casey said as he again bumped into a locker. "Hey, kids, when I was your age, I got my butt kicked by a door."

The two laughed, despite the fact that Noel thought he had bruised more than a couple of his ribs in the past two days.

"You excited about the diva-off later?" Noel asked, and Casey groaned.

"Don't remind me," she said. "I _know _I'm not going to win."

"Hey," Noel said, playfully smacking her arm, but he overshot and wound up batting at her ear. "Don't tell anybody, but I'm definitely voting for you."

"You're secret's safe with me," Casey promised, and batted his ear, mocking him.

"Well, you know, I'm sort of blindfolded," Noel pointed out.

~L~

As Casey walked into the choir room that afternoon, Ralph rushed up to her side. "Good luck," he whispered. "I'm rooting for you…"

Casey beamed sweetly after him as he ran back to his seat next to Sally, who had certainly noticed the interaction. She had tried to refocus her attention of Ralph after the beautiful disaster that was her and Derek, but it just never seemed to work out between her and anyone… either her mom and their dad are getting married, or they have a pregnant girlfriend.

"Alright, welcome to the glee club's first official diva-off!" Paul enthused, and the rest of the clubbers whooped playfully. "Let's get this party started!"

Tinkles began to play the notes of the song and Sheldon took his place in the center of the room, giving one last look at his supporting girlfriend across the room.

"Something has changed within me, something is not the same," he sang, his voice pitched higher than usual, but he pulled it off effortlessly. "I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. Too late for second guessing, to late to go back to sleep, it's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap."

When Casey sang, she forgot about the competition… all she knew is that she wanted to be there.

"It's time to try defying gravity," she sang, looking above and beyond her small audience. "I think I'll try defying gravity,"

But she couldn't help but think for a moment when he sang,

"Kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity, and you won't bring me down," Sheldon looked at Casey, who averted her gaze.

"I'm through accepting limits, 'cause someone says they're so," Sheldon's voice rang, and he casted a look in Paul's direction.

Despite their differences, the two were somewhat the same.

"Some things I cannot change," Casey sang once it was her turn, imagining a life out of this town, instead thinking of a life she wanted. Ralph looked at her, dumbstruck by her voice. "But 'till I try, I'll never know!"

They both wanted to do something with their lives – they wanted to be known.

"Too long I've been afraid of losing love, I guess I've lost," Sheldon sang with a look at Emily, and he thought of how hurt she was. ""Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost! I'd sooner buy defying gravity…"

Even the students who had planned to vote for Sheldon just to irritate Casey could no longer decide who was going to win.

"Kiss me goodbye," Casey sang, and she lost herself in the song. "I'm defyinggravity!"

They were both amazing as their voices belted out the lines to the song.

"I think I'll try defying gravity, and you won't bring me down!" They both sang the song, but while Sheldon sang, he decided that this wasn't worth it. "I'd sooner buy defying gravity…"

They filled the room with the cadence of their voices.

"Kiss me goodbye," Casey had sang, preparing herself for a high note. "I'm _defying _gravity!"

Sheldon made a choice… "I think I'll try defying gravity," When his moment to shine came, he turned it down. His voice cracked. "And you won't bring me down…"

"Bring me down!" Casey trilled the note, and both times, the room lit up with claps, but it was clear who had one that round.

~L~

The three day blindfolded challenge was over, and Sally could not be happier. She had actually been worried about the baby for a moment when she rammed into a wall.

"Hey, wait up," a voice called behind her. She turned to see Derek walking up behind her, pulling money out from under his jacket. "I cracked open the piggy bank, it's for you... well, it's for it."

"It is a she," Sally said quietly.

"Cool," Derek said, staring at her and then his eyes moving to her stomach, dumbstruck. "I told you I wasn't a deadbeat."

"Look, Derek, this is really sweet, but-"

"I can get more," Derek rushed, and it was going to be a struggle to try to say everything he had planned in his head, but he went for it. "People call me a screw up because I think school is for suckers, but I got ambition. I'll get us a house, stuff... furniture. We could be a family."

"Ralph is your best friend," Sally tried to reason.

"He'd be pissed for a while," Derek admitted. "But once he realized he didn't have to deal with all this, he'd bake me a damn cake."

"Derek, we both know you don't want to play house with me… it's so sweet that you want to do the right thing, and I really, really appreciate it, but I can't do that to you, not when you have your whole life ahead of you," Sally said regrettably. And then something dawned on her as Derek looked guiltily at the floor. "You stole from the cupcake fund."

"No I didn't," Derek lied, but she artfully arched an eyebrow, and he rolled his eyes. "Fine, I did. I made all those cupcakes! I'm all about being a team player, but my family comes first."

"I get it, and I'm sorry. I should've never called you a London Loser, you're not. You're special and romantic and," she trailed off, and tried to get onto another subject. Just because she wanted to live with him and be with him didn't mean he wanted to. "A good enough friend to realize we are not gonna take money from the club."

"Hey!" the two heard a voice from behind him, and Derek hid the money.

"Here," Ralph said as he walked up to Sally, holding an envelope.

"What's this?"

"I got a job," Ralph beamed, his face lighting up like a Christmas tree. "Casey asked Paul to help me find a job, and so now I'm working at this really cool bookstore and, well, my hours are kind of crazy… but screw it, it's worth it."

Sally threw a delighted glance towards Ralph and leaned in to hug him, and they walked off to rehearsal together, but Sally sent one last look back at Derek that he couldn't read. But as they left, he decided to skip rehearsal that day.

~L~

"Don't push me off the edge of the stage," Sandra warned, and Noel laughed. "I'll bash your knees in, I swear."

"You're lucky you didn't have to use this thing all week," Noel said, walking Sandra around the stage as he stood behind her, hands on her shoulders. "I've got bruises in places I didn't even know could have bruises."

"What do you know," Sandra said, grinning wildly. "Kendra being shallow payed off for once."

"It's a sign of the apocalypse, I'm sure," Noel assured her, and he twirled her as he continued to lead her around the stage blindly. "Just like a bake sale making twelve hundred bucks in a school this small is."

Sandra's sneakers got stuck on the floor, and Noel tripped over her, both landing on the floor laughing. "Oh my god," they giggled.

"I want to take this thing off," Sandra chortled.

"Why?"

"Because," Sandra explained as she sat up half way. "I want to see your face when I do this…"

She leaned down and pressed her lips briefly against his, and her cheeks turned red as she pulled back. They smiled at each other and Noel grabbed her hand.

"That was nicer than what would've happened if I pushed you off the stage," he commented, and she laughed.

~L~

Emily had been doing homework when Sheldon showed up at her house, knocking on her already open door. "Hey," she said happily at the surprise of seeing him.

"Hey," Sheldon said with a smile. "What're you doing?"

"I'm making biscuits," Emily said sarcastically as he sat down next to her on her bed. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

The two smiled at each other, but Sheldon remained mostly quiet. "I'm sorry they gave the part to Casey," Emily commented sullenly.

"It's okay," Sheldon shrugged it off. "I threw the note."

"…What?" Emily gasped.

"Thank you for sticking up for me, Em," Sheldon said, kissing the top of her head and grabbing her hand. "But I'm used to what I go through… I'm different, and if that gives people the wrong impression, I'm okay with that. It makes me stronger, and at the end of the day, that's what's gonna get me out of this town. I plan to stay in this club, and you have to understand that there's going to be more phone calls like that and more people being crude. But the one thing that isn't going to help is me getting up on a stage in front of thousands of people singing a girl's song. When I saw you right after you got the call and you were so hurt, and so upset... it just killed me. I'm not saying that I'm going to change to please people, I'm saying you're way more important to me than what I do."

Emily replied with a soft hug and comforting words, not caring about her homework anymore.

~L~

Each with black blindfolds around their eyes, the twelve glee clubbers stood on the stage in the auditorium in yellow outfits as they all slowly sang, "Rollin', rollin', rollin' on a river…"

"Left a good job in the city," Emily sang as she untied her blindfold and held it in her hand as she entered from the right upstage wing.

"Down in the city," Noel sang as he untied his and held it as he walked in from the left upstage wing.

"Workin' for the man every night and day," the two sang, walking down to the line of their fellow glee clubbers, all still in their blindfolds. "And I never lost one minute of sleep, and I was worrying about the way things might have been… big wheel, keep on turnin'…"

"Oh, the proud Mary keep on burnin'," the girls sang, keeping their blindfolds on and leaving Noel and Emily to lead them.

"And we're rollin'," Emily sang, and the guys echoed her as they walked downstage, also keeping their blindfolds. "Rollin', yeah!"

"Rolling on a river…"

The music picked up and Paul grinned as he watched the kids execute the campy choreography, and when the song ended, they tossed their blindfolds into the audience.


	10. Ballad

Paul stepped back from the whiteboard to admire his handiwork. He had written the word "Ballad" in green sharpie.

"Ballad…from Middle English 'bah-lod.' Who knows what this word means?" Paul walked toward the glee club as he talked. He stopped in front of Casey's raised hand but tried his best to ignore her. He knew she knew what it meant already; she didn't need to show off.

Before he could give up and just let her answer, Amy piped up, "It's a male duck."

Sheldon's hand shot up before anyone could comment. Paul pointed to him.

"A ballad is a love song," Sheldon explained, squeezing Emily's hand with a smile.

Paul nodded. "Sometimes. But they don't always express love. Ballads are stories set to music, which is why they're the perfect storm of self-expression. Stories and music are the way we express feelings that we can't get out any other way."

Derek perked up at that. He certainly knew what Paul was talking about. "Sweet Caroline" had sort of been his ballad for Casey. Somehow he found it easier to sing his feelings than say them, which, he suspected, was true for many of the glee members. Except maybe Sheldon.

"Okay," Paul continued. "Now, sectionals are in a few weeks. And there's a new rule this year. We have to perform a ballad." He pointed at the whiteboard.

Casey brightened at Paul's news. "Looks like my weekly letter to the Ohio Show Choir Committee finally paid off." She clapped her hands together and grinned at the person next to her, who happened to be Derek. Derek gave her a disinterested half-nod. She continued to smile, but directed her gaze back to Paul. That was progress – at least they could make eye contact these days.

Paul filed away that exchange for later dissection with Casey in the guidance office (he had heard about their parents' engagement, and frankly, he was a little worried that it had ruined their promising-looking relationship), and announced their assignment for the week. "I'm going to pair you off again, different pairs this week, and I want you to pick a ballad to sing to your partner." He pointed his fingers from his eyes to Noel's, because he happened to be sitting right nearby. "Look them right in the eye, find the emotion you want to express, and make them _feel_ it." Noel knew exactly what Paul was talking about. He nodded sagely.

Ralph was already intimidated. "I pick Sally," he said quickly. Sally was leaning against him. She was happy with him these days, because he was doing really well at his job.

Paul waggled a finger at him. "No, no, too easy. Between you and Sally, Amy and Max, Emily and Sheldon, Noel and Sandra—" He had been about to add Derek and Casey, but quickly stopped himself. "—this club has been quite a matchmaker. We can't have you all singing love songs. I want variety. Your partners will be chosen by fate."

There were a few scattered "oohs," but everyone was used to Paul and his crazy antics by now. He held up a top hat with a flourish, and no one commented. Nothing surprised them anymore.

"I bet the duck's in the hat," Amy whispered to Kendra.

Kendra was about to correct her but decided it wasn't worth it. "Uh, Paul, remember Max is out sick today. He had to go to the hospital because they found a spider in his ear."

Her explanation was met with groans and expressions of disgust.

Paul wasn't fazed. "Guess I'll just have to put my name in the hat for now. Who's up first?" He dropped his name in and shook the hat, while Derek loped up to the front of the choir room. He figured he'd have the best selection if he went first. He wasn't about to get stuck with Casey. Or Kendra. Or Sally, for that matter. Sam, he could handle. They had actually had an okay time together during their blindfolded bonding.

Derek pulled out Emily's name and his face fell. He didn't even bother to disguise his horror. The girl who'd had a crush on him forever had to sing about her feelings? _Oh, God_.

Emily looked uncertain. She was over Derek, that was for sure. But that didn't mean she wanted to sing to him.

Noel picked Sally, and Sally shrugged. She kinda liked Noel, so this wouldn't be too bad.

Ralph chose Sheldon. "I dunno if I can do this with another guy," he whispered to Paul.

Paul shrugged. "The fates have spoken, Ralph."

Ralph smiled weakly at Sheldon, who smiled back just as unenthusiastically. Maybe they could sing about their mutual love for old people, grandmas in particular?

Sam picked Sandra. They smiled happily at each other. He liked Sandra a lot (but not in _that_ way). Since she had started dating Noel, and Noel was his best friend, they were kind of forced to hang out sometimes, which was okay with them.

Kendra crossed her fingers as she picked. She did _not_ want Casey. She got Amy. Amy cheered, and Kendra couldn't help but smile. Girl was dumb as a box of rocks, but she was sweet. This would actually be a fun activity.

"Looks like I get you, Paul," Casey beamed.

Paul looked at her hopeful face and had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Maybe we should just wait until Max gets back," he replied.

Ralph shot him a look that clearly told him he was being a hypocrite (if Ralph even knew what that meant). "The fates talked, Paul," Ralph added for good measure.

Noel saved Paul by asking what types of songs they were supposed to sing.

"Why don't you let Paul and I demonstrate?" Casey told him helpfully. Paul groaned inwardly, but figured, what the heck.

"Endless Love in B flat, please," Casey requested of Tinkles. "It's my favorite duet," she explained, when Paul shot her a disbelieving look.

"I really don't think that's an appropriate song, Casey…"

"Why? It's a great song and a perfect ballad."

Did she really not understand why a teacher and a student should not sing that song? Bless her naïve little heart.

Ralph, still smarting from Paul's hypocrisy, piped up with a smirk, "Yeah, I _really_ like that song, Paul."

Everyone giggled, and Derek fist-bumped Ralph. Paul threw up his hands. "Tinkles, start us off please."

Tinkles played the opening bars, and Paul began. "My love, there's only you in my life…"

Derek watched Casey watching Paul and tried to distract himself. Because the minute she opened her mouth and sung those words of love to someone who wasn't him, well…let's just say Derek hadn't been taking their breakup nearly as well as Casey had. He shifted in his seat. Ooh, there was a nice distraction. He really loved the days when he didn't wear underwear. Full commando.

"My first love…" Casey was singing.

Ralph had cocked his head to stare at Casey in profile. He had never noticed how nice her butt was. Oh, crap. He realized too late that Sally had seen him stare. She glared daggers at him, and he looked up, feigning innocence.

"You're every breath that I take. You're every step I make." Casey stared intently into Paul's warm brown eyes. He was the only guy in her life she could trust, even though he didn't always appreciate her talent. She had never really thought about it before, but he was the best man she knew.

"And I…" Paul joined in, watching her warily.

"And I…" Casey harmonized.

"I want to share all my love with you…" Paul winced as Casey inadvertently stepped closer. She was obviously very involved in the song, but even so, he didn't like the way she was looking at him.

"No one else will do..." He walked around the piano to see if Casey would follow, and she did. He tried not to panic.

"And your eyes, they tell me how much you care..." Casey finally caught up to him so that they were face to face. She found herself admiring his really nice teeth. He obviously had good oral hygiene, and that was important. It showed good self-esteem.

"I'll be the fool for you…" Paul was vaguely aware that the rest of the members were holding up their cell phones like lighters at a concert and swaying. He did _not_ like the way Casey was looking at him. And he most definitely should not have sung that song to her – she looked _crazy_. He knew that look.

"And I'll give it all to you, my love, my love, my endless love," They finished together, and Paul wasted no time in stepping away from her and training his eyes to the floor.

This is amazing, Casey thought. _Singing with him, it's like I'm seeing him for the first time. And what I'm seeing is super, super cute._

"Okay," Paul said as the rest of the club clapped. "Uh, something like that."

Casey watched him walk towards the risers to get the practice going, and looked down at her feet shyly. She really, really liked the feeling washing over her. This was one guy she knew wouldn't kiss her and then leave for one reason or another. He was a _man_.

~L~

Mrs. Albright smoothed Sally's white dress and sat down next to her, ice cubes in her drink clinking together. "Sweetie, I am so proud of you," she gushed. "The Chastity Ball is so important to your father."

Sally swallowed, trying not to vomit at the thought of her parents finding out she had been dis-invited from the Ball. She missed the firm support of her polyester Cheerios uniform; the control panel hid her baby bump perfectly. She sucked in her breath as her mother stood again and began zipping up the dress.

Of course, the zipper stuck. "Hm. That's odd, I had this custom-made a month ago."

"I had a really big lunch today at school," Sally explained, trying not to panic. "Really big tacos."

Her mother looked pained for a second, but soon put her arms on Sally's shoulders. "No worries, sweetie. We'll just take it down to the tailor's tomorrow and let it out a little bit. The problem here, honey, is that I just don't think you've been getting enough exercise ever since you quit the Cheerios. Am I right?" She pulled a tape measure from her sewing kit and wrapped it around Sally's waist.

"Yeah, yeah, that's right," Sally said, sucking in her stomach as much as she could.

"I mean, I was so glad you joined them this fall. You spent hours every day doing back flips and high kicks, and now…well, now, you spend all your free time sitting on a stool in the dark singing show tunes."

Sally eyed her mother, unsure of how to respond. Her mother had made her position on glee very clear, but Sally was not about to quit.

"Do you know how many calories singing burns? Hm?" She put a hand to Sally's chin, and Sally tried to keep her lip from quivering. "Not very many."

"Judy! Glenn Beck is on!" Sally's father called from the other room as he made his way into the den. "Oh, wait, hold on…" he put his hand over his eyes when he caught a glimpse of Sally in her white dress.

"You're so silly," her mother chided as Sally forced a giggle.

"I don't wanna see the dress!" He walked unsteadily towards the girls.

"Daddy, it's not like I'm getting married," Sally finally said, able to appreciate the irony of that.

When he reached them, her father removed his hand from his face and hugged Sally to him. "Oh, look at you! Speaking of getting married, how's that boy you've been dating?"

"Yeah, he's not, uh, pressuring you at all, is he?" her mother chimed in.

Sally watched them each take a sip of their drinks. She wished their house didn't constantly smell like booze. "No, no. He's a gentleman," she said firmly. That was certainly the truth.

"I'm glad to hear it," her father approved. "That's why I'm inviting him over for dinner on Sunday."

Sally's eyes widened as her mother cooed, "How wonderful!"

"Refresher?" her father motioned to his wife's glass.

"I don't want you to lift a finger for me. I'm your wife," her mother scolded, taking his glass and moving towards the bar.

"Yeah, my little lemon drop!" he smacked her bottom as she passed, and Sally shook her head sadly. She really wished she had parents who would understand her problems. "I gotta go catch Glenn!" her father continued as he headed out of the den.

Sally let out a shaky breath. The dress had started to itch. All she wanted to do was get it off and curl up in her bed with her pajamas on.

~L~

Casey approached Paul in his office before school the next day. "Paul?"

"Yeah?" he looked up from grading papers.

"I just wanted to confirm that we're set to rehearse our ballad at four sharp this afternoon."

"Oh." Paul winced. "Isn't Max back yet?"

"No," Casey said with a disturbingly sincere smile. "It's just you and me, all week long!"

"Gr…great." Paul capped the pen he had been gripping a little too tightly and sighed, "See ya at four." He grabbed his coffee mug and was about to take a sip when he realized Casey was still standing by his desk. "Is there something else?"

"I just wanted to give you this," Casey said shyly, producing a long box wrapped in pink paper from behind her back. "Open it," she said, barely able to contain her excitement as she handed Paul the package.

He unwrapped the gift to reveal a white tie covered in black ones and zeros in horizontal patterns…binary code. "Tens are sort of my signature thing," she explained. Paul gulped – he really liked the tie, actually…

…until Casey had to go and open her mouth again. "Since you're the computer teacher, I thought you'd appreciate the reference to coding and the symbolism of our numerical connection. Every time you wear it, you can think of me, and how you're helping to mold me into a perfect ten."

Paul thanked her, plastering a smile on his face. It didn't even come close to matching the intensity of Casey's blinding grin. What was he supposed to do now?

~L~

"It's happening," Paul moaned. "_Again_."

Kathy continued Windexing her office door.

"It always starts with a novelty gift," he went on.

"You can't blame her, Paul," Kathy sighed. "I mean, come on. If we were gonna rate crush-worthy teachers at this school, you'd be number one with a bullet." She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth.

Paul stared at her.

"Uh…I…when did…when did this start with Casey?" she asked, hoping he would gloss over the awkward moment.

He did. (He had a lot on his mind.) "We sang a duet in glee club. 'Endless Love'."

"Okay…in hindsight, that was probably a mistake." She came over to sit at her desk, while Paul remained in the seat across from it.

"Yeah. I can't handle going through this again," he whined.

"Sorry, going through what, again?" Kathy had no idea why he was so worked up. So a girl had a crush. Happened all the time.

"Have I ever told you about Susie Pepper?"

Kathy shook her head. It had happened before she started teaching. So Paul launched into the whole humiliating tale.

Susie had been a student in his computer class. She wasn't the first student to have a crush on him, but she had fallen the hardest. Susie was…unique. She was an attentive student, took copious notes, and participated in class. Paul realized what was happening the moment Susie asked him to help her create a webpage about unconventional relationships. She had looked at him with such longing and intensity in her eyes.

It was terrifying.

She bought him a gift – a tie with peppers all over it. "So you can wear it and think of me, Susie _Pepper_," she said.

He was sure it would burn out, like the others always did. But it only got worse. She called his house in the middle of the night and breathed into the phone. He asked, "Susie Pepper?"

And her reply: "You knew it was me just by the sound of my breath. That's so romantic!"

Terri grabbed the phone and told her to shove it. "If I don't get enough sleep," Terri hissed, "I'll go crazy, and I'll _kill_ you!"

But that didn't deter Susie Pepper.

Paul figured it was time to man up. So he told Susie the truth. He faced her crush head on.

"How'd that go?" Kathy interrupted his story. She was fascinated.

Paul sighed.

Susie tried to commit suicide by eating the hottest pepper known to man. She had it shipped from Sinaloa, Mexico.

"Oh, gosh," Kathy murmured. "What happened to her?"

The ambulance arrived just in time. The pepper burned holes in her esophagus, and she was in a medically-induced coma for three days.

Kathy gasped and covered her mouth with her hands, completely forgetting about the germs she was probably transferring to her lips.

"And that's why I can't just tell Casey to back off," Paul concluded. "These girls are too fragile. I don't want Casey to get hurt."

"Wow." Kathy shook her head. "Okay, how about this: why don't you take your own advice? Do what you told the kids to do. If you're feeling awkward telling Casey how you feel, then why don't you sing it to her, let her down gently?"

Paul's eyes lit up.

Kathy pointed to the tie, which was still in its box. "And _don't_ wear that tie."

Paul gazed at it sadly. It really was a great tie. "Yeah. Thanks, Kath."

~L~

"Sing to me everything you feel," Sheldon instructed Ralph. They were standing opposite each other on the stage.

"Okay…" Ralph gazed blankly at Sheldon. Nothing was coming to mind. "Uh…"

Sheldon rolled his eyes. This boy had no sense of professionalism. He would much rather be singing to Emily, but he had to work with what he had. And what he had was an untrained puppy.

"I can't," Ralph moaned.

"You have to try," Sheldon said encouragingly.

"I can't!" he exploded. "I'm sick and tired of people pushing me to be somebody I'm not!"

Sheldon took a deep, calming breath. "Your lashing out at me is fantastically compelling…and inappropriate."

Ralph scratched his head. "Dude, I'm sorry. I just…you're really awesome, Sheldon. I'm just under a load of crap right now."

"Girl problems?" Sheldon really didn't know how to help him if that was the case. Things were going well with Emily.

"It's the baby," Ralph admitted, and Sheldon paled. Okay, now he _really_ didn't know how to help him. "She's my daughter, and there's so many things I want to say to her, and I'm never going to be able to."

"Like what?" Sheldon's heart broke for Ralph. He looked so lost.

"Well, like how I don't want her to think that her father just abandoned her. How I would do anything for her. How no matter what I do, I'm always thinking about her." Ralph took a seat on the nearby piano bench and Sheldon followed, unsure of what to say.

Ralph kept talking. "How I'm going to spend my whole life loving her, and she's never even going to know." He hung his head, trying to keep from crying. It was all so overwhelming.

Sheldon put a hand on his shoulder. "Sally's really pushing the adoption thing, huh?"

Ralph nodded.

"Look, all I know is, you gotta let it out," Sheldon advised. He didn't know babies, but he did know singing. And singing was definitely therapeutic.

"How do I do that?"

"By singing, of course. I have the perfect song, too. 'I'll Stand By You,' by The Pretenders. It's in your wheelhouse, and I know you must know it from the radio because it's a classic. I've heard you in practice; you do well with classics."

Ralph shrugged. "I do like that song, but how exactly is it going to make me feel better again?"

Sheldon stood up and pulled Ralph along with him. "By singing it out to the audience. Imagine your little girl sitting there." He pointed to a spot in the balcony.

Ralph gazed out into the auditorium, and Sheldon made his way back to the piano, muttering, "Thank God I never missed a piano lesson."

He began to play.

"Oh…why you look so sad?" The first line came out a little weak, but Ralph gained confidence when he realized how good it actually felt. "Tears are in your eyes, come on and come to me now…"

As he sang, he began to smile, and as he smiled, he thought about what a wonderful life his daughter was going to have, no matter what.

When the song finished, Ralph hugged Sheldon in thanks. Sheldon's eyes were teary. "That was beautiful," he blubbered. Ralph just patted him on the back. "Let's go find Emily, 'kay?" He rolled his eyes. Sheldon was such a sap.

Of course, the tears were pouring down Ralph's own cheeks as he sang the song again later in his room, watching the sonogram DVD on his laptop.

"I'll stand by you. I'll stand by you. Won't let nobody hurt you. I'll stand by you…"

As he sang the last line, his grandma appeared in the doorway and asked what was going on. Ralph quickly rubbed at his eyes and shoved the laptop out of her line of vision.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she entered his room.

Ralph realized too late that now that she was standing next to him, she could see the laptop screen.

"Were you just singing to a sonogram?"

Ralph decided to tell the truth. He was too emotional to think up a lie, and the evidence was right in front of her. So he said, "Uh-huh."

His grandma's shoulders slumped, and she sat down next to him on the bed. Ralph couldn't meet her eyes.

"Is Sally pregnant?"

Ralph's eyes spilled over with tears again and he choked out, "Gram, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…" before collapsing against her, drawing ragged breaths as he sobbed. His grandma bit her lip and looked skyward, rubbing his back. "I screwed up…I'm so sorry…"

"Shh, shh." She rocked her grandson gently. "It's gonna be okay."

~L~

"I can't believe you told your grandmother!" Sally hissed. "What if she tells my mom?" She had Ralph pinned up against his locker and was pointing her finger into his chest.

"Nuh, no, she's not…" Ralph squeaked.

"Half the school knows, your mom knows…who else do you wanna tell, huh?" Her tone was getting more and more frantic.

"She's not gonna tell anybody—" he finally found his voice, and Sally interrupted him with another finger in the sternum.

"You're wrong, I'm right," she fumed, pointing to Ralph and then back at herself. She continued to point back and forth as she went on her tirade. "I'm smart, you're dumb…"

She continued her stressed-out comparison list as Emily, Sam, and Sheldon stood nearby, eavesdropping.

"All this baby drama is making my rosacea act up," Sam whined.

"I know, I just feel bad for them, having to go through this on their own," Emily lamented.

Sheldon rubbed her back comfortingly. "Let me see what I can do," he said, an idea beginning to bloom. "I'll report back later." With that, he took off, and Sam and Emily just shrugged at each other.

As he walked by, Sheldon could still hear Sally screaming, "I'm right! I'm right, okay?!"

Sheldon hovered a few feet away across the hall as Sally gave Ralph one final push into the locker with her index finger and stormed away.

"She doesn't talk to your mom, I swear!" Ralph called after her, but she didn't turn around. He heaved a sigh and turned to open his locker. That's when Sheldon made his move to help.

"How _do_ you explain her constant irritation with you?" Sheldon asked, watching Sally go.

"Oh, hey, Shel," Ralph said absently as he shuffled some books around his locker. "I think it's the pregnancy hormones or something. They make her kind of nuts." Ralph was feeling a little better now that Sally wasn't yelling in his face. He loved her, he did, but he didn't know how much longer he could put up with her shrill demands.

Sheldon scrunched up his nose. "Well, that makes sense, of course…but I think if you just played the submissive boyfriend for awhile, she'd calm down."

Ralph arched his eyebrows. "Are you saying just take it?"

"I guess I am. I mean, I'm no expert on girls," he looked shyly back at where Emily and Sam were talking. "But I do know they just need to vent sometimes. She doesn't mean any of it. She's just stressed…just like you are."

"Yeah, I guess." Ralph shook his head. Sheldon was right, in a way. It would all end in a few months, and they'd be back to normal…or have a baby on their hands. Either way, their current predicament _was_ going to change. "Oh, and hey, thanks for the advice about singing to the baby like that. Worked like a charm. I owe you one, dude." Ralph patted Sheldon's arm and walked away.

Sheldon shut Ralph's locker for him, smiling and rolling his eyes. He really wished they were better friends sometimes. He had been grateful to Ralph ever since the day they met. Ralph didn't owe him any favors.

It was the first day of freshman year, and Ralph and Derek passed Sheldon in the hall. Derek slammed him into a locker just for the fun of it as he went by. It didn't hurt, but it was just plain rude. Ralph stopped and put a hand on Derek's chest. "Dude, impulse control!" he chided. Derek shrugged and kept walking, but Ralph turned to look at Sheldon with a sympathetic smile.

He'd been saving Sheldon from Derek's warpath ever since.

And Sheldon had been saving Ralph from a dangerously dry T-zone. He had given him a mild lotion with built-in sunblock…and Ralph actually used it.

So it was safe to say they were friendly acquaintances, if not _friends_.

"Why were you cheating off of her?" Emily was asking Sam when Sheldon returned to their little group. "This is a girl who thinks the square root of four is rainbows!"

"Catch me up," Sheldon said with a smile. He already knew they were talking about—

"Amy," Emily confirmed. "Sam looked at her paper during the math test."

Sam shrugged. "I kinda knew she wasn't going to be any help, but I panicked."

Sheldon slung an arm around Emily's shoulders and rolled his eyes. "Girls!"

Sam laughed. "I hear that." He fist-bumped Sheldon, but Sheldon had a little trouble figuring out how to do it.

It was Emily's turn to roll her eyes. "Boys!"

~L~

Casey stood in the center of the choir room, trying to smell her breath. Paul was due in at any minute to practice their ballad.

"I'm really excited," Paul said as he entered the room. "I've picked a medley of songs that are going to be a fantastic teaching tool about how to sing a great ballad."

Kathy was right on Paul's heels.

"Why is Ms. Zeldin here?" Casey asked accusingly. This was supposed to be a _closed_ practice.

Kathy, in her usual stuttering fashion, murmured, "Well…I…I…I too am very curious about the power of the ballad…I'm thinking of doing some teaching in song—"

"Kath," Paul interrupted her. "You wanna just…?" He motioned to the chair he had placed next to one for Casey. Kathy sat, and Paul continued. "Okay, Casey. This is a mash-up of 'Young Girl' by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap, and the 1980 Police classic, 'Don't Stand So Close to Me'."

Casey nodded enthusiastically.

"Now, I want you to listen _very closely_ to the lyrics because I _really_ mean what I'm singing," Paul instructed.

Casey nodded again, taking it all in. He was so wise!

"_Really_ _listen_," Paul repeated as he started the CD. The music began, and Paul motioned for Casey to sit next to Ms. Zeldin.

"Young teacher, the subject, of schoolgirl fantasy," he pointed at himself and then Casey, willing her to get it.

No such luck yet. She was beaming at him.

"She wants him, so badly. Knows what she wants to be. With all the charms of a woman, you've kept the secret of your youth. Book marking, she's so close now, this girl is half his age." Paul jumped in place and stretched out his arm to Casey in a "stop" gesture. "Don't stand, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me! Young girl, you're outta your mind! Your love for me is way outta line! Better run, girl, you're much too young, girl!"

He continued the mash-up, noticing that both girls (women, whatever) were staring at him dreamily. He knew he couldn't encourage either one of them. But the song just didn't seem to be working, especially on Casey. _Great_.

"Better run, girl…you're much too young, girl!"

Kathy and Casey both sighed and began clapping furiously when he finished. Paul took a moment to compose himself.

"So, Casey, do you think you understood the message I was trying to get across with that ballad?"

Casey was in awe. Paul was a genius. "Yes! It means I'm very young, and it's hard for you to stand close to me."

Paul put his head in his hands. "Uhhn."

Casey bit her lip. Okay, so, yeah, she knew what it was about. He was _married_, she got that. But if he could flirt up a storm with Ms. Zeldin, why couldn't he with her? It wasn't hurting anything! She would just have to show his wife she wasn't a threat. And keep reminding him what a valuable asset she was.

"Kath, mind helping me out here? Was that the message that you got?" Paul asked weakly when Casey continued to daydream.

Kathy had her hands clasped together in front of her chest. "You're a very good performer," she breathed. She turned to Casey. "He's very good."

Casey nodded in agreement. "Well, I for one cannot wait to go home and work on a medley of my own for tomorrow, because this lesson has given me a lot to think about." She grabbed her backpack and headed towards the door.

"You know, Case, that really wasn't the…" Paul started, but she was already gone. He held out his hands helplessly to Kathy. "You…" She continued to smile at him, so he gave up with a sigh.

"Bravo," Kathy said, clapping again.

Unbeknownst to any of them, Susie Pepper had been outside the choir room, listening. And she did not like what she heard.

~L~

"Thanks for coming over, Sheldon," Ralph said as he lifted a box from the corner of his dusty basement. Sheldon was staring around at the grime, trying not to kick up any extra dust.

"Yeah. This wasn't exactly what I had in mind when you said you needed my expertise. You could just vacuum once in awhile," Sheldon replied, grimacing.

Ralph shrugged. "Well I know you're into fashion, and I need to find something nice to wear to the Albrights' for dinner, so…"

Sheldon perked up. "Oh. That changes things. I have to say, I couldn't be more pleased and honored to help you find something vintage and appropriate to wear."

"Uh-huh." Ralph finally cleared away the boxes and revealed an old steamer trunk. "Here it is. My grandma never had the heart to throw this stuff out." He opened the trunk and pulled out an army helmet. "Hang on to that for the next time Derek tries to throw you in the dumpster." He pushed it down onto Sheldon's head.

Sheldon took it off and instinctually smoothed his hair. "How old were you when your parents died?"

"Really young. I don't remember them. I guess I'm lucky that way – I don't miss them." He shrugged.

Sheldon nodded, not knowing what to say.

"Check this out." He held up a suit jacket, and Sheldon made an approving sound.

Ralph slipped it on. "Not half bad," Sheldon remarked. "Your dad had good taste."

"I can't believe it fits." He walked over to the full-length mirror nearby.

Sheldon grabbed two ties from the box and held them up, one over each of Ralph's shoulders. Ralph picked the purple-and-black-striped one and thanked him.

Then he sighed. "My father was brave enough to fight in some desert thousands of miles away. And I can't even go over to Dudley Road and tell the Albrights the truth."

"You're telling them about the baby? Sally will kill you!" Sheldon winced.

Ralph shrugged. "I can't deal with the secrecy anymore. They need to know."

"Well, your father didn't charge into the breach empty-handed. He had a weapon."

"You think I should bring a gun?" Ralph asked incredulously.

Sheldon's eyes widened. _Wow_. "Uh, no. I think you should use your greatest weapon: your voice."

~L~

Paul called hello to Terri as he entered his apartment that night. Exhausted, he headed towards the living room. "Something smells good!"

He flopped down on the couch, and as he got comfortable, a beer appeared by his head. "Thanks!" That was an as-of-late uncharacteristic goodwill gesture. They had been fighting on and off for weeks. Looks like they were "off" today.

To Paul's surprise, Casey's voice said, "You're welcome." Paul's eyes bugged.

"Casey?!" He turned to see her standing over him.

"Casserole's almost ready. Hope you like spinach."

Casey pulled on a pair of rubber gloves and ran off towards the bathroom, and Paul went looking for Terri. He found her in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the casserole. "Why did you let her in the house?" he huffed.

"She said she was one of your glee kids. Jeez!" She made a face. "It didn't take me five minutes to realize she's in love with you. She's _psycho_! She asked if she could see your baby pictures. Like I even know where those _are_."

Paul was offended on Casey's behalf. "She's not crazy, just…enthusiastic."

Terri made a gagging noise.

"Did you ask her to clean our bathroom? Is that what she's doing in there?"

"I didn't _ask_ her, I _told_ her to. Look. I have been dealing with these schoolgirl crushes for years. Why shouldn't I get something out of it? _You_ certainly do."

"Oh, please, you think I _like_ having this happen to me?!"

"Yeah. I think you do. It gives you an ego boost. And your ego is big enough already."

He ignored the jab and focused on getting Casey out of his house. "Come on, Terri, enough. Give the poor girl a break."

Just then, Casey came in and asked for more Ajax.

"In the linen closet, sweetie," Terri said with false cheer as Casey mouthed 'Hi' at Paul. Paul stared at her, open-mouthed. Casey wasn't really this gullible, right?

Terri shot a dirty look at her retreating form.

"This is immoral, Ter," Paul fumed.

"You know what's immoral? Immoral is me having to deal with a husband who spends all day with sluts who are perkier and younger than I am."

"Terri!"

"No, Paul, listen. I'm tired when I come home from work. I don't feel like getting down on my hands and knees to scrub the bathroom. Why not let someone with more energy do it?"

"You think I'm not tired? I work five days a week! You work three half-days! And I can't remember the last time you cleaned anything! _I_ usually cook, and _I _was the last one to pick up a mop!"

Terri rolled her eyes. "You keep telling yourself that, _sweetie_. But you stare at adolescent ass all day, and I have to deal with cranky customers!"

Paul's eyes widened in disbelief. Were they really having this argument _again_? "For the last time, I am not having an affair with any of my students!" He wondered if flirting with Kathy counted as an affair. But…she wasn't a student. And he just needed a way to unwind from all the stress at home…it wasn't like he was going to do something rash and ruin his marriage. "And furthermore, you are not allowed to turn one of them into your slave because you have this irrational fear that I'm going to leave you!"

"Why not? It's win-win for everyone!"

"Not for Casey!"

Terri rolled her eyes. "She's a great cook, I'll give her that." She stuffed a forkful of casserole in her mouth and glared at Paul.

Paul was disgusted. He had no idea where his sweet, loving wife of a few years ago had gone, but this was certainly not her. And the worst part was, she didn't see anything _wrong_ with how she acted.

"I'm taking Casey home," he finally said.

Terri swallowed. "Tell her to dust the blinds in the craft room first."

Paul set his jaw and headed for the bathroom without a look back.

~L~

The car ride was silent for the first few minutes. Then, "Hey Paul?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do I have to ride in the backseat?"

Paul sighed. "It's the law. _Children _have to ride in the back."

"Children under seven," Casey clarified, a bite to her tone. She knew she had done something wrong, but Paul wasn't giving her any clues as to what.

"I…I'm concerned for your safety," Paul explained.

"Really?"

He realized his mistake when her voice went up hopefully at the end of her question. "Uh…no. Not really." _Stupid_, Paul. _Stupid_.

Casey decided to pretend like nothing was wrong. "I think we should take advantage of this golden alone time and practice our ballad," she suggested.

Paul winced. "I don't have any music in the car."

Casey held up a CD. He should have known.

"It's okay, I made this for us." She unbuckled her seatbelt, leaned forward, and pushed the CD into the player.

Jennifer Paige's "Crush" began playing, arranged for Casey's vocals, of course.

"Ah…crush…" Casey sang seductively. Paul was the first to admit her voice was incredible…but at this particular moment it made him want to vomit.

"I see you blowin' me a kiss. It doesn't take a scientist, to figure out what's going on, baby…"

Paul pushed the off button and heaved a sigh of relief. That was so beyond inappropriate he couldn't stand it. He willed Casey to snap out of her ridiculous crush. If only he could tell her the truth…but he did _not_ want her ending up like Susie Pepper.

"It wasn't finished," Casey said, furrowing her brow. She knew she sounded good; what was the problem?

"Yeah…the acoustics are horrible in the car," Paul answered. "Put your seatbelt back on."

She did, and he fished around for something to talk about. Finally, he realized they had never gotten a chance to discuss her love life (in a guidance counselor-y capacity, of course).

"So…how are things going with Derek?"

Casey made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat. "Awful. I…" she trailed off.

He eyed her in the rearview mirror. "You what?"

Casey sighed. "I wish our parents had never met."

Paul nodded. "I get why you wish that, Casey, I really do. But I told you, I would be happy to talk to your parents with you and Derek, make them see there's nothing wrong with—"

"That's not the reason we broke up, Paul. Well, it was one of the reasons. But we just can't be together. He's got a reputation to protect, and I…I need to concentrate on my music."

"You shouldn't worry about what everyone else thinks," Paul said gently. "If you want to be with him, be with him. Simple as that."

Casey was quiet for a moment. It was a nice thought, but it just wasn't reality. "It's not a good idea. We're too different. I'm a keener, he's a jock. We're not evenly matched. I need a man who can keep up with me intellectually and creatively."

Paul was about to cry 'bull' when he realized where she was going with her last comment. "Caseyyy…"

"I have my sights set higher."

Paul sighed. "Well, I think _Derek_ is a great guy."

"Maybe so. But we are not right for each other, Paul, trust me." She was a busy girl – the last thing she wanted or needed was a complicated relationship. And that's exactly what being with Derek would be: complicated.

"You know yourself best, I guess," Paul conceded.

They spent the rest of the car ride in silence.

~L~

Casey walked down the school hallway with a bounce in her step, thinking about the night before. It hadn't gone exactly as she had expected, but Paul had driven her _home_. In his _car_. Not many girls got to do that.

The smiled disappeared from her face the second she saw Susie Pepper step into her path.

"Stay away from Paul," Susie warned without preface, mouth set in a firm line.

Casey had heard about Susie Pepper from Emily. She was a really intense senior who had once tried to kill herself by eating the world's hottest pepper, all because of a guy.

"You're gonna get hurt, _bad_," Susie continued.

Casey stood her ground. "You can't threaten me, Pepper. I don't even know you! And I'm not afraid of you," she finished, somewhat unconvincingly.

Susie's eyes widened and she leaned towards Casey. "You _should_ be."

Casey just shook her head and brushed past Susie. She felt bad for the girl. She was obviously deranged. But that wasn't Casey's problem. She had to get to class. But…why was _she_ a target of Susie's wrath? It hit her: _Paul_ must have been the guy Susie got all psycho over. Why else would she threaten her like that? Casey swallowed hard. She had just blown off a person who was potentially more dangerous than The Fridge. That was a really, really dumb move. She could only hope that Paul had never returned Susie's affections, and that he would stick up for Casey if she ever needed help. She knew he would; he was just that kind of guy. Plus, _Casey_ wasn't crazy.

~L~

"Oh, you're on the second floor?" Emily asked as she walked past Susie, unaware of what had just transpired. "Oh, you're right above me. _You_? Please! _I'm_ a hot mess. I found out today that my hamster is pregnant in biology class, and I just started weeping. Everyone's on edge these days." She entered the choir room to find Derek tapping his foot and checking his watch.

"No, I think that's a great idea." She continued her conversation.

"We're supposed to be rehearsing," Derek cut in, annoyed.

Emily held up a finger, signaling for him to wait. "I'm talking to Sandra." She rolled her eyes and smiled. "You know, San, I'll have to call you back." She hung up the phone and glared at Derek. "I'm _only_ five minutes late."

"If that was your way of proving you're over me, that was a really obnoxious way to do it," Derek huffed.

Emily stared blankly at him. "Seriously, Der? Don't flatter yourself. I've been over you for awhile now. Besides, I think we both have other people on our minds these days…" she raised her eyebrows at him, and he backed up under her gaze.

"Yeah, well…"

Emily chuckled. "Casey and I are sorta friendly. We talk."

Derek gulped. "Oh, yeah? What does she say about me?"

Emily smiled playfully. "There you go with your 'everything's about me' attitude. I didn't say we talk about _you_. Puh-lease." She dropped her bookbag on the piano and straightened her clothes. "Do you have anything prepared for the ballad?"

Derek held up his hands, ego still bruised over her trick. "Nothing."

Emily sighed. "All our ballads are going to suck. We're all so distracted. I mean, this whole Ralph, Sally, and Babygate thing has everyone freaked. How are we going to stand up here and sing about our emotions, when theirs are so fragile? We're so worried about them. It's ruining the club."

Derek looked down. "Who even cares? _I_ don't."

Emily made a face. "We _all_ care. What's your problem?"

Derek didn't answer.

"Sandra just had the idea that we should all sing them a ballad to show that we have their backs, you know? I think that's perfect."

Derek almost gagged. Yeah, like he was really going to sing to Sally about how much he wanted to be there for her. She had shot that idea down real quick. She wouldn't even take his _money_, for crying out loud. "Are you kidding me?" he said to Emily, trying to keep his voice level. "There's no way I'm singing to them."

Emily gave him a 'what are you talking about' look.

He ran his fingers through his hair and groaned. "It's just not fair, you know, Em? Ralph gets everything. The sympathy, the girl…"

"_What_ is your problem?" Emily asked again. She couldn't figure out why Derek was blowing this so out of proportion.

"Ralph's not the father!" he spat out, staring anywhere but at Emily. He had reached his breaking point – he had to tell someone, and it wasn't going to be his dad, or Casey, or Paul. It may as well be Emily.

Emily's eyes widened. "Who…?" But she already knew the answer. She could see it in his eyes.

"I am." Derek leaned against the wall and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Oh, Derek." Emily could feel tears welling up, and she pushed them down for Derek's sake. She walked over to him and gently placed a hand on his arm. "How…I mean, what…" She couldn't figure out how to ask for details without sounding like a gossip.

"Sally and I had sort of a thing a few months ago. I liked her. We hung out. We got drunk. And…" he looked down at her sullenly.

Emily could work out the rest on her own. "She was with Ralph then," she confirmed.

Derek nodded. "Yeah. And she wants nothing to do with me now. She's convinced herself it's Ralph's baby."

Emily stepped back and looked him up and down. "Do you want to be with Sally?"

"No." Derek met her eyes. "But I still like Sally as a person. I _want_ to be there for our _baby_. I'd support all three of us. They're my family now. Nothing Sally says or does will change that."

"Does Casey know?"

"Of course not. She never would have gone out with me if she knew. What kind of guy sleeps with his best friend's girlfriend?"

"A drunk one." A smile played at Emily's lips, and she let it spread when she saw some life come back into Derek's eyes with that statement.

"It was a pretty dumb mistake, huh?" he chuckled sadly. "It probably cost me my chances with Casey. More than our parents getting married, more than the slushie facials…"

Emily sighed. She pulled him up off the wall and looked him straight in the eye. "Look, Derek, you need to get something through your head. You're the baby's daddy…but it takes a hell of a lot more to be a _father_. And Sally already cast that role. Sally chose Ralph. Obviously they weren't doing anything you and Sally didn't do, or Ralph wouldn't think he's the dad."

Derek had his suspicions about what Ralph thought sex was. He wasn't about to ask, though. For all he knew, Sally and Ralph actually _had_ done the deed. But somehow, he suspected that wasn't true. He wasn't about to reveal that to Emily, though. He'd told her too much already. So he just nodded as if he agreed.

"You need to accept Sally's decision and move on. You can't force her to change her mind. Besides, you have no business messing up her life more than you already have, you know? You need to back off."

"You really think so?" He knew she was being awfully blunt, but what she was saying made sense. Maybe that's exactly what he needed to hear.

"Yeah. I do, Derek. You owe her that."

Derek mulled it over. "I guess, yeah. Thanks, Em."

Emily gave him a half-hug. "Sorry to be so brutal about it, but I really think it's for the best. Ralph and Sally may be struggling, but it's _their_ struggle."

"You're not gonna tell anyone about this, right? I mean, you're the only one who knows, besides Sally." Maybe Derek shouldn't have chosen the most notorious gossip in school to share his secret.

Emily nodded seriously. "I'll keep it to myself."

Derek noticed an implied second part to that sentence from her tone…'I'll keep it to myself…unless someone else _needs_ to know.' He could live with that, though. He didn't have a choice.

~L~

Ralph was a bundle of nerves as he entered the Albright house for dinner that Sunday.

He needn't have worried, because the evening was going smoothly so far.

Sally kept glancing at him, as if she expected him to bolt for the door at any moment. But he was in this for the long haul.

"Mm, it's a lovely ham," Ralph told Mrs. Albright as they were eating dinner.

"Thank you," she replied.

"There is no beating Judy's ham," Mr. Albright agreed.

Mrs. Albright chuckled. "I cure all my own meats."

Ralph didn't really know what that meant, so he kept quiet.

Mr. Albright tapped his glass with his knife. "I'd like to propose a toast."

"Daddy, no." Sally shot him a warning look that he missed. She didn't think she could take it if he got all mushy. She'd cry for sure.

"Russell and his famous toasts." Mrs. Albright shook her head good-naturedly.

Mr. Albright stood and raised his glass. "The Albrights are a tight-knit family. I have been blessed with a loving wife and two remarkable daughters. My first married a wonderful Christian man who owns his own chain of UPS stores. My second daughter," he gazed fondly at Sally, "Little Sal, we are just so proud of her. A cheerleader, president of the Celibacy Club." He turned to Ralph, who was busy trying not to faint from the sudden onset of nervous energy. She hadn't told her father she'd quit both activities? "I got a little peek at the dress. I'm certain she's a shoo-in for princess of the Ball…"

He said some more things, but Ralph was blinking rapidly, going in and out of consciousness. He couldn't go through with this. But on the other hand, he couldn't live a lie.

"And tonight we welcome Sally's friend, a hockey player, no less…"

Ralph's heart was pounding and little beads of sweat were trickling out of his forehead. "I have to go to the bathroom," he blurted out.

Mr. Albright eyed him worriedly.

"Too much pop," Ralph explained. Sally clenched her hands together in her lap. He was about to do something stupid, she could tell.

Ralph got up and wandered away from the table.

"Right through the kitchen, sweetie," Sally's mom explained.

Ralph exited the dining room, and Sally looked up to see both parents staring at her.

"He wears a helmet when he plays, right?" her dad asked.

"He's just intimidated by you, Daddy," Sally assured him, regaining her composure now that Ralph was gone. He had been making her nervous.

In the bathroom, Ralph shut the door and leaned against it, breathing heavily. He pulled out his cell phone to call Derek, but though better of it. Ever since their fight last week they had sort of been on shaky ground. He couldn't call Sam or Noel, because then he'd have to explain where he was and what he needed help with. That would take too long. Then it hit him. Sheldon knew exactly what was going on.

Luckily, Sheldon was home. "Well, hello there, Ralph. How's dinner going?"

"I'm freaking out, dude. What does a heart attack feel like?"

"Settle down and breathe," Sheldon instructed. Ralph sat on the edge of the tub.

"I can't do it."

"Yes, you can. We spent all that time rehearsing. You have the disc we burned, right?"

"Yeah. But—"

"You can do it. Just remember the power of the ballad."

Ralph nodded, even though Sheldon couldn't see him. "I have to go. They'll think I'm pooping." He hung up and took a few deep breaths, staring at himself in the mirror.

Sheldon hung up as well. Poor Ralph. He hoped things would work out.

Ralph did a karate chop at the mirror and then left the bathroom. He grabbed a CD player he saw sitting on the counter in the kitchen and carried it into the dining room. It was now or never.

"That's my kitchen radio," Mrs. Albright exclaimed when he entered.

"Yeah, I need to borrow it." He set it up and pulled the CD out of his suit jacket pocket.

"Ralph?" Sally asked with a warning tone. "What's this?"

Ralph smiled nervously at her, and that only made her more scared of what he had up his sleeve.

"Well, we have this assignment in glee club to sing a ballad. They're all about expressing things you can't find any other way to say."

Mr. and Mrs. Albright looked interested, so Ralph gave Sally another smile, this time meant to be reassuring.

Sally sat up straighter and glared at him, finally realizing what was about to happen. "Don't. Ralph. _Please_. Don't," she begged.

"I need to do this," Ralph said firmly. "For both of us."

Sally shook her head, flustered. "No…" She would have grabbed the player and smashed it, but that would have created a scene. Her parents were all about decorum. It looked like she had to let this play out, since Ralph wasn't listening to her.

Ralph started the music, and Sally gave him one last wide-eyed shake of the head.

He stared at her, trying to put all of his feelings for her into his eyes so that she could see how much he loved her, how much her parents needed to know that he did.

"You're having my baby…"

Sally put her hand on her cheek and looked anywhere but at Ralph. Finally she gave up and just stared back at him, feeling betrayed that he would spring this on her.

"What a lovely way of saying how much you love me. You're having my baby…"

Her parents were still oblivious; instead of listening to the lyrics, they were swaying along with the melody.

"What a lovely way of saying what you're thinking of me. I can see it…"

Sally watched Ralph watching her, and it sort of made her feel good…until she noticed her mother sitting a little straighter in her chair, a frown growing on her face.

"Your face is glowing. I can see it in your eyes, I'm happy, you know it…That you're having my baby."

Ralph came around to Sally's side of the table and grabbed her hand. "You're the woman I love and I love what it's doing to ya…"

Mr. Albright was staring at Ralph with his mouth half-open, unsure of what to make of the situation. Ralph continued singing and Sally couldn't help herself; she stared up at him with unmistakable love in her eyes. No matter what happened, she knew she couldn't stay mad at Ralph. He was doing the best he could.

After a few more bars, Mr. Albright reached over and switched off the CD player. He shared a glance with his wife, who was utterly appalled.

Ralph whipped his head around to look at Mr. Albright, and didn't like the expression he saw.

~L~

Mr. Albright led Ralph and Sally into the living room, and they sat motionless on the couch as he towered over them, fuming.

Mrs. Albright sat in the chair next to them and watched her daughter carefully. "There must be some sort of mistake here," she said hopefully. "Sally, we raised you right."

Sally could barely look at her mother. Ralph squeezed her hand when tears started to roll down her cheeks. He looked up at Mrs. Albright, but she was looking down at the floor.

"You did raise her right," Ralph said anyway. "We didn't even have sex."

Sally bit her lip and wondered what her mother would say to that. To her relief, Mrs. Albright snapped, "Oh, can we just stop with the lying, please?"

Sally squeezed Ralph's hand in return and gave him a sad smile.

Her father had been silent. He took a seat on the other side of the room, and finally spoke up, "When you were about five years old, I took you and your sister down to an Indians game. All the other dads brought their sons, but my two girls were enough for me."

"Daddy," Sally choked out, still crying. She had heard this story before.

"Your sister made it through the whole game, but you fell asleep in my lap. I kept hoping nothing exciting would happen, 'cause I didn't want the crowd to get too loud and wake you up. Didn't matter. You stayed asleep in my arms till the game ended." He couldn't say anymore. Watching his daughter cry was making his own eyes watery.

"Daddy, I'm so sorry," Sally sobbed.

Her father sighed. "You need to leave," he said, looking at Ralph.

"Wait, please…Daddy, can we talk about this?" Sally rubbed her fingers along Ralph's arm. "He's a good guy. He loves me." Ralph nodded, but didn't have the courage to look Mr. Albright in the eye.

"You, too." Mr. Albright said quietly.

Mrs. Albright turned to look at him, tears streaming down her face. Sally blinked. "What?"

"Get out of my house." Her father's jaw was set.

"You can't do that!" Ralph argued. Screw politeness, he wasn't going to let Sally's parents kick her out. "She didn't do anything wrong!"

Mr. Albright ignored him, so he appealed to Mrs. Albright. "Please, do something," Ralph begged. She stared at him icily.

"Don't bother, Ralph," Sally cried, wiping her eyes. "If she wanted to do something she would have when she found out I was pregnant." She looked at her mother with revulsion in her eyes.

Ralph looked from one parent to the other, confused.

"You knew?" Mr. Albright asked incredulously.

"I…no…she," Mrs. Albright blustered. "She didn't tell me anything."

Sally's eyes welled up again, and this time she didn't wipe the tears away. "But you _knew_. And I _needed_ you! I needed my mommy, and you were so scared of what _he_ would do if he found out," she glanced towards her father, sounding like a scared little girl. "You just pushed it aside. Like we do _every_ bad feeling in this house…If you don't talk about it, it doesn't exist." Now she was angry again, so angry she was shaking. Ralph stood next to her, fidgeting.

"Wait a minute!" Her father stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs, "You do _not_ turn this on us! _You_ are the disappointment here!"

"Why?" Sally asked, feeling a little more confident now that all her feelings were out in the open, even though they had fallen on deaf ears. "Because I'm not a little girl anymore? Because I made a mistake?"

"Who _are_ you?" her father asked coldly. "I don't recognize you at all."

Sally gave him one last pleading stare. "I'm your _daughter_." She choked back more sobs, choosing instead to keep a brave face. "Your daughter who loves you. And who knows this must be really hard for you, but I just need my daddy to hold me, and tell me that it's gonna be okay."

Mr. Albright pinched the bridge of his nose, shook his head, and walked toward her.

"Please," she murmured as he stood in front of her.

But instead of stepping forward to embrace her, he turned and walked out of the room. Sally sank onto the couch in a fit of fresh tears, and she barely heard her father call, "Judy!" as she watched her mother get up and walk out as well. Ralph stood by the couch, at a loss for words.

~L~

When Ralph and Sally finished packing her things and drove to Ralph's house, his grandmother was in the basement doing laundry. Ralph descended the stairs with lead feet, still shell-shocked from what had just happened.

"Honey," his grandma said absently, hearing him approach, "how many times have I told you, you have to turn these t-shirts right side out before you—" She took one look at his face, and at Sally standing behind him, and put her laundry aside.

"Um…Sally's parents threw her out," he explained. "Could she stay here for a couple of days?"

Sally smiled apologetically at Mrs. Papadopoulos.

"Of course she can," Mrs. P. nodded. She moved toward the steps.

Sally leaned forward to hug her. Mrs. P. rubbed her back. "Hon, you can stay here as long as you want."

It wasn't the same as having her own family give her their love, but Ralph's grandma was an awfully good parent. Sally would take what she could get.

~L~

Casey was in the girls' room the next day, touching up her lip gloss. She thought she was alone, but to her surprise, Susie Pepper stepped out of a stall.

"Hey, Barbra Streisand. We need to have a little talk."

Casey capped her lip gloss, swallowed her fear, and turned to look at Susie. "I have nothing to say to you. If you continue to stalk me, I'll press charges. Everyone knows you're crazy."

"I _was_ crazy," Susie admitted, a weird twinkle in her eye. "Crazy in love."

Casey huffed in annoyance. "Nothing you can say will change the way I feel about Paul. Ours is a love for the ages. Your threats will just make our love grow stronger." She was proud of herself for not quivering. That may have been a bit of an exaggeration, but it sounded good.

She moved to leave, but Susie blocked her path. "Let me tell you a few things I learned from two years of intense psychotherapy and an esophagus transplant."

Casey made a face, but didn't move. Honestly, she wanted to hear what Susie could possibly tell her that would change her mind.

"Lesson number one: you and Paul, it won't work."

"What do you mean?"

"We're not so different, you and me," Susie said. "We're both mildly attractive, and extremely grating. Love is hard for us. We look for boys we know we can never have. Paul is a perfect target for our self-esteem issues. He can never reciprocate our feelings, which only reinforces the conviction that we're not worthy of being loved."

Casey's mouth dropped open. Susie made a scary amount of sense.

"Trust me," Susie went on, sounding human for the first time since Casey had 'met' her. "I'm a cautionary tale. You need to find some self-respect, Casey. Get that mildly attractive groove back."

Casey didn't know what to make of that.

"Trust me," Susie repeated. She turned to leave.

"Anything else?" Casey asked, a little dazed.

"Yeah." Susie gave her a small smile. "Welcome to McKinley." With that, she was out the door, leaving Casey to mull over her recent romantic choices. Ralph was taken. Paul was taken. Derek was in a different social orbit.

She had a lot of thinking to do.

~L~

Paul really, really did not want to practice with Casey that day. He had completely lost any kind of control in the situation, and that made him uneasy. But he went, because in the end, he couldn't let her down.

"Paul," she said the moment he stepped into the room. "I'm ready when you are." She was holding a bucket of pink daisies, and she set them on the piano as they met in the middle of the room. "The ballad I've selected has an important message that I'm anxious for you to hear."

"Casey, I'm sorry. I'm going to have to stop you." Paul sighed. He could not take her singing another love song to him. He just couldn't. He respected her too much. "Look, I have to tell you this, even if it's hard to hear. The way you've been acting is totally inappropriate. I'm your teacher and your counselor, Casey, and I'm sorry, but that's all I'm ever going to be." He let out a deep breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding. It felt good to get it all off his chest. Now he just had to watch Casey very closely over the next few days for warning signs.

To his surprise, Casey replied, "I know." She motioned to the flowers. "I brought these for you as an apology." It was then that Paul saw the card attached, which read, 'Sorry I've been acting crazy.' He smiled.

"And the song I was going to sing," she continued, "was 'Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word' by Elton John, because I know how much you love him. I'm such an idiot…" Unable to look at him any longer, she went over to the risers and grabbed a chair to sit on. "…mooning over you and cleaning your apartment."

"Hey, it's okay." He sat down next to her. "My wife never should have let you do that."

She nodded. "Yeah, well…" She wasn't about to tell him that she didn't think too much of his wife. That was his business. She began to cry. Paul had seen her cry before, but this time she felt silly for letting herself get that worked up. She turned her face away from him.

"I know it's not always easy for you, Case," Paul said gently. "And I know there are some things about yourself that you think you'd like to change. But you should know that there _is_ some boy out there who's going to like you for everything you are. Including those parts of you that even _you_ don't like. Those are going to be the things he likes the most."

"I told you, Derek and I can't happen."

Paul chuckled, and Casey looked over at him, confused. "Interesting that your mind jumped right to Derek. I didn't even say his name."

Casey smiled weakly, and wiped her tears. "Thanks, Paul."

He stood. "What do you say we ditch rehearsal today? I've gotta be honest, Case, you've never needed much help with your ballads. You've been knocking them out of the park since day one."

Casey followed him out of the choir room. "Do you like the flowers?"

Paul looked down at them in his hands. "They're great."

~L~

In the auditorium, Sheldon and Ralph were working on their ballad, but of course Ralph was a little distracted.

"So, they just…kicked her out?" Sheldon asked. He couldn't imagine that happening to him, no matter what he did. Poor Sally.

"Yeah. Gave her half an hour to pack. Her father set the timer on the microwave."

"I'm sorry, Ralph," Sheldon said quietly. "Guess my plan kind of sucked."

"No," Ralph replied. "This is good. No more secrets. Everything's out there, all the feelings. And that's better, right?"

Sheldon shrugged, but quickly realized Ralph was looking for an actual answer, so he said, "Yes, better."

"Good." Ralph heaved a sigh, shaking himself out of his funk. "Well, let's work on your ballad. You were really helpful when I was trying to find mine. So what is it?"

"_Toy Story_. 'You've Got a Friend in Me'." Sheldon replied. He knew Ralph would get a kick out of that, and he did.

"Sounds awesome! Is it…about me?"

Sheldon beamed. Sometimes Ralph was quicker on the uptake than others. "We're supposed to be singing to each other, right?"

"Aww." Ralph muscled Sheldon into a guy hug, and Sheldon attempted the fist-bump thing again. This time he got it.

"Hey, you two," Emily called as she walked across the stage toward them. "Am I interrupting?"

Sheldon shook his head. "Nope." He put an arm around her as she got closer, and pecked her forehead. "Hi, my little squirrel."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Don't call me that."

Ralph laughed.

"Come on, we have to go to the choir room," Emily said.

"Why?" Ralph asked.

"Because there's something we want to give you and Sally," Sheldon explained.

Ralph followed them out of the auditorium, asking questions they wouldn't answer the whole way.

"Open your eyes," Emily chided as Ralph closed them right before they entered the room. "We didn't tell you to close your eyes." She exchanged a 'that's Ralph!' grin with Sheldon.

"Is there a cake?" Ralph asked.

"No, there's no cake," Emily answered.

Sally was sitting on a stool, looking as bewildered as Ralph. He nodded hello to her.

"Just be quiet and sit down," Emily instructed. Ralph sat next to Sally.

When the entire glee club, including a freshly de-spidered Max, was assembled, Paul announced their surprise. "Your fellow glee club members want to sing a song for you guys, to let you know how they feel about you."

"What are you gonna sing?" Ralph asked, unable to contain his excitement.

"Just listen," Casey said, meeting his eyes with a smile. "The song says everything." Then she smiled at Sally, to make sure she knew it was for both of them. Sally couldn't help but smile back. Casey was a nice person, underneath all the man-stealing backstabbing.

"Hum, hum, hum, hum…" the song began, with everyone besides Ralph and Sally singing.

"Hold on," Noel started them off, high-fiving Paul as he did so. "Some times in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow. But, if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow…"

"Lean on me," everyone joined in. "When you're not strong…"

Emily harmonized with Noel on lead vocal. "And I'll be your friend. I'll help you carry on."

"For, it won't be long," everyone else sang, "Till I'm gonna need, somebody to lean on."

"Just lean on me!" the boys belted out.

"Just call on me brother, when you need a friend," the girls chimed in.

"We all need somebody to lean on," they sang as a group.

Ralph and Sally held hands and watched their friends singing to them with goofy, appreciative smiles on their faces. Neither of them had felt that good in days.

Casey watched them together as she sang, and only felt a slight pang of jealousy. Right now, even she could admit that it was time for her to back off. She glanced over at Derek. He caught her eye and winked. Casey could have taken that to mean something more than it did, but for the first time in awhile, she and Derek were on exactly the same page thanks to the latest 'family' dinner. They were friends, nothing more. Somehow they'd manage that, at least. It would be awhile, if ever, before anything else came of it.

Kendra watched their visual exchange with interest. Derek was no longer her man, that was for sure. But that didn't mean she wanted Casey to have any part of him. She turned back to Sally and when their eyes locked, she mouthed 'Love ya' with a smile. She wished she could help her friend more, but Sally just seemed to appreciate the solidarity. Kendra could have disowned her even more easily than her own parents did. And Sally was grateful that she hadn't.

"I am right up the road, I'll share your load, if you just call me…" They all clustered in front of Ralph and Sally, laughing and singing.

Ralph and Sally laughed right along with them, their worries forgotten for the time being.

"Call me, if you need a friend, call me…"

Sheldon gave Ralph a friendly nod, which he returned. Derek looked at Sally as he sang "Call me," still trying to just let it go, like Emily had advised. But he couldn't. That baby was _his_. Sally stared back at him, and he couldn't read her expression. But she could read his. 'We're not done with this,' he seemed to be saying.

"Ooh...It won't be long," Emily took the next line, "Till I'm gonna need…somebody to lean on, lean on, lean on…" With that, she ran to Ralph and Sally and grabbed their hands, pulling them up to dance with the group.

They finished the song, laughing and joking, literally leaning on each other.

"Somebody to lean on…"

Paul had never been prouder.


	11. Hairography

Paul sat in the teacher's lounge, the set list for sectionals which was drawing so near laid out in front of him at the table. He was so engulfed in his work that he didn't notice Ryan storming up to up with a cocky smirk on his face.

"Hey, fella," He said with a false sense of friendship as he slammed a magazine down in front of Paul, who peered at it. "So, unless my recent write-up here on _Splits _magazine naming me cheerleading coach of the decade has driven me completely insane, I'm pretty sure you and I had an agreement that you were going to show me your glee club set list for sectionals."

Paul gathered all his strength to remain professional with this _kid_, even though all he wanted to do was pretend like he wasn't there. Sometimes, he hated how he had to hide his dislike for the senior, but he had to keep up the façade to keep his _job_. He took in a deep breath and said, "Sorry, Ryan, I didn't think you were all that interested in glee club anymore."

"Not interested?" Ryan guffawed, "I'm the fine arts administrator or something."

"Um," Paul paused, looking up at him before returning to his set list. "Well, I'll be sure to get you a copy."

"That'd be fantastic," Ryan sneered, looking at him threateningly. "I'd hate to have to go to Lassiter about this. Hey, Paul-"

"_Yes_?" Paul snapped impatiently.

"I'd like my magazine back, please," Ryan said back at him, and Paul slowly pushed the magazine back across the table, which Ryan snatched up. "Thank you."

As Ryan walked away, Paul watched after him, his eyes narrowed in both dislike and suspicion. The problem with Ryan Sylvester was you never quite know where you stood. Paul _knew_ he was up to something. In the last rehearsal for glee club, when Paul had been teaching some new steps to the kids, Amy stood on the riser and filmed the steps with the camera on her cell phone, but she told him meekly that "Ryan didn't tell me to do this," But that wasn't the end, it kept getting worse. As he was walking in the hallways, Ryan had snapped up to his side and said…

"Hey there, pal," Ryan snickered with a notepad and pen in his hands. "Would you remind me once again the names of the schools you'll be competing against at sectionals?"

"Jane Addams Academy and Haverbrook School for the Deaf," Paul had replied… and then he asked for their _zip codes._

He had figured it out; Ryan was trying to leak the set list for sectionals.

~L~

"If the other glee clubs get set lists and videos," Paul ranted as he paced back and forth in Kathy's office, and she listened attentively from her place at her desk. "They'll know exactly how to beat us at sectionals!"

"Well, first, don't let Ryan distract you, alright?" Kathy tried to calm him, and Paul nodded, subconsciously taking a deep breath. "And if you can't take Mohammad to the mountain, then you've got to get Mohammad to bring the mountain down to his house... Mohammad's house, wherever he's staying."

The two looked at each other in awkward silence, before Paul's face transformed into confusion and Kathy cleared her throat.

"I don't understand," Paul said.

"You should drive over to Jane Addams Academy and ask the director point blank," Kathy clarified. "If something's going on, you'll know."

Paul nodded, and stood up straighter. "Thanks, Kath," he said brightly, and she watched him as he walked out of his office with a thankful nod and a wink in her direction. She buried her face in her hands before groaning in frustration, because he really was not making her efforts to get over him very easy.

~L~

The following day, Paul drove up to Jane Addams Academy, which was eerily reminiscent of a high-security prison. He was scanned for metals by a police officer and had to go through several metal doors – it was a little unnerving. He walked up to the principal's office, but he heard that she was talking to a student, so he waited outside the door.

"You're a good kid, Aphasia," the principal said in disbelief. "Why did you try to rob a bank?"

"Because, Ms. Hitchens, that's where they keep the money," Aphasia snarked, her arms crossed as she slouched in her chair. Ms. Hitchens rolled her eyes, and dismissed her back to class. Paul entered the office as the student whizzed past him with an angry expression.

"Uh, hi, Ms. Hitchens," Paul said, already nervous about what he was going to have to ask, "I'm Paul Greeby from McKinley High."

"Ugh, Aphasia," Ms. Hitchens called after the girl. "Give Mister Greeby his wallet back!"

Paul's eyebrows stitched and he patted down his pockets to try to find his wallet - to his surprise, the girl really had pick pocketed him. She walked back into the entrance of the office and handed him his wallet and left with a final glare towards her principal, and Paul shook his head and laughed slightly as he walked into the office and sat down in the chair across from Ms. Hitchen's desk. "She's good," he mused. "Thank you for seeing me."

"We don't get a lot of other educators paying us visits," Ms. Hitchens said blankly.

"Right, well, the reason I'm here is uh... a little weird, so I guess the best thing for me to do is to come right out with it," Paul said, and Ms. Hitchens made a face that read, 'get on with it'. "I think our cheerleading coach has been passing along our set list for sectionals to you."

"What kinda messed up school are you people runnin'?" Ms. Hitchens asked instantly; feeling offended but staying calm. "You think that because our students are thieves and arsonists that we're cheaters too?"

"No, no, no, no," Paul spluttered, shaking his head rapidly. "It's not you, it's Ryan-"

"Do you know that we don't have costumes? Or even an auditorium? Our show choir has to practice out in the rec' yard," the principal said, and Paul looked at her sympathetically. "This is Ohio, we have weather."

"You don't have to tell me about under-funding for the arts-"

"Look, all I know is that our choir seems to be the only thing that keeps my girls from recidivism," Ms. Hitchens confessed, thinking of the misfit students she was so fond of, even when they made the wrong choices. "It makes them feel good about themselves. I'm not going to we can get a leg up on your school of privileged misfits. Especially from what I hear... we're probably going to take you anyway."

"Oh really," Paul said with a friendly yet competitive tone. "And who'd you hear that from?"

"I had my spies at your invitational," Ms. Hitchens grinned. "Want some coffee?"

"Please," Paul accepted, but when the principal stood up, he stood up as well. "I'm-I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, let me make it up to you. You guys don't have an auditorium, come use ours. Yeah, let's have a little, uh, scrimmage at our place."

Ms. Hitchens eyed him suspiciously, but she held out her hand, and he shook it, "You've got a deal," she said.

~L~

A large group of girls stood on the McKinley High auditorium stage, all dressed in yellow and black. All twelve of the New Directions kids sat in the audience, and Paul stood on the stage, introducing their competitors.

"I want to welcome Ms. Hitchens and the Jane Addams Glee Club, we're all very happy to have you guys here," Paul said enthusiastically. "So, we're going to let you guys start us off, let's see what you got!"

Paul jogged up to his group and sat amongst them, and Ms. Hitchens yelled out, 'Hit it!'

"Shadonda, can you handle this?" the group sang as they all lined up, and as each name was called, they ran through the rows of people.

"Aphasia, can you handle this?" they sang a bit louder.

"Jayelle, can you handle this?" they sang. "I don't think they can handle this!"

But the following minutes were a whiz of spinning, dancing, hair tossing and even some terrifying splits as the group sang. After the provocative number, Paul sat in his seat as the group left, whooping and chattering, and his own students poured out of the room – but Casey lagged behind and sat back down in a seat a row behind him.

"Paul," She said gently. "You seem concerned."

"What? No," Paul said, but his voice stretched into octaves a little too high. Casey peered at him, not buying it. "I mean, they were great, but we're just as good…"

"Paul, if I may," Casey began, but she didn't bother to wait for the go-ahead. "What they were doing was just all smoke and mirrors, its called hairography."

Paul looked at her questioningly, "What?"

"Hairography," Casey continued, leaning against the back of the seat next to him. "All the whizzing their hair around just to distract from the fact that they're not really good dancers, and their vocals were just so-so – trust me, we have nothing to be afraid of."

Casey nodded confidently and stood up to leave for class, but Paul stayed behind, contemplating everything his student had said.

~L~

"Alright, guys, I did some research last night, and I think we found out new number for sectionals," Paul enthused as he walked into rehearsal with a spring in his step and a large duffel bag in his hand."We're going to do the title song from Hair, now, this show started a revolution!"

As Paul spoke, Casey's eyes widened slowly… he wasn't about to do what she thought he was, was he?

"Wait, did they have short hair back then?" Ralph asked. "Like, back in the '20s or whatever?"

"Yeah, Paul," Noel agreed. "If we're gonna do a song about hair, shouldn't we have more hair?"

"One step ahead of you," Paul smirked, and he tossed the brown duffel bag into Noel's lap. "Here are your wigs!"

But Casey quickly rose to her feet and seized his arm like a vice, moving him to the other side of the choir room. "Paul, what are you doing? We are fine the way we are, we don't need hairography, and it's just a distraction!" She whispered.

"Look, I have to be honest, those Jane Addams girls did freak me out a little, and I'm worried about our chances for sectionals," Paul confessed, but making a point to keep quiet as to not worry the other students. "And we have to pull out all the stops if we wanna win."

Casey nodded unenthusiastically as she found herself disagreeing with her teacher… she sometimes thought that Paul may have gotten a little _too _caught up in the club, but before she had the chance to say anything in return, Paul had turned to face six grinning faces in ridiculous wigs.

~L~

"Saw it in the book store, thought I'd buy it for ya'," Derek said nonchalantly as he walked down the hallway with Sally. He had just handed her a small book entitled, '_How to Raise A Baby On Five Dollars A Day'_, and she couldn't decide if it was absolutely sweet or a little bizarre."You know, in case you change your mind and decide you wanna keep it."

"That is so sweet," she decided. "To be honest? I really don't know what I'm gonna do about it anymore. My mind's pretty messed up about everything." 

"Well, whatever you decide," Derek said supportively as he took a turn down the hallway. "No pressure!"

Sally sighed as she watched him stroll down the hallway. _Thank God for Derek_, she thought to herself. Thanks to him, she was starting to realize that what she needed, even more than looser pants, was acceptance. Everyone was putting so much pressure on the girl; it was so easy for them to be distracted... she don't have that luxury - she under siege by a kicking and squirming baby girl in her tummy. _Maybe the problem isn't that I don't wanna keep the baby... the problem is that I don't wanna keep the baby with Ralph, _she mused. _Maybe I didn't give Derek enough of a chance, he is the real dad, after all. …But I'm still really worried that he's just being sweet and being nice to me because he feels like it's the right thing to do, but maybe I can find out…_ _Ralph would freak if I started spending time with Derek, though. _She needed to distract him so that she could take Derek for a test drive, but how_? _There was always Casey…_ Mm, forget about it, she looks like a five year old... still, maybe with a little bit of make up._

"Sally," Kendra heard a voice calling from the other end of the hallway, and she turned to see her. Before she could say hello, her friend interrupted her in a hushed whisper, peering behind her shoulder to look for anyone who might be listening. "_Derek's _the father?"

Sally stared at the blonde girl across from her and stuttered uncontrollably before finally admitting it. "How did you find out?" 

"I overheard you talking to him about it," Kendra said, still in shock. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was trying to keep it quiet," Sally said, looking down at the floor and absent mindedly placing a hand on her stomach. "Please don't tell Ralph!"

Kendra made a face, but eventually pulled her friend into a hug. Sally was shell shocked, and hardly moved… she was surprised that Kendra wasn't gouging her eyes out. "You aren't mad?" She asked.

"Yes, I'm mad!" Kendra hissed, but she pulled back and looked at Sally, who looked like a frightened child, and her heart swelled for her in empathy. "But I forgive you. And, to be honest, I'm glad you chose Ralph. He's a good guy, he's going to make a great father, and he loves you. He looks at you like a puppy sometimes. Look, if there's anything you need me to do, just let me know."

And then, a light bulb went off in Sally's head. "How about a makeover?"

"I'm in! Makeovers are like crack to me," Kendra enthused, clapping her hands together slightly. "My suggestion? Spanx, or a double-knit camisole with a control panel for the baby bump. Also, babydoll dresses are a dead giveaway."

"Not for me," Sally gritted. "For Casey."

"And why would I want to do that?" Kendra snorted as she crossed her arms. "I admit I like a challenge as much as the next guy, but Casey somehow manages to dress like a grandmother and a toddler at the same time."

"My point exactly," Sally exclaimed, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw her very subject walk up to her locker. "What I need right now is a distraction, and glee club is that distraction. If the glee club doesn't succeed, then I have no more distraction. Look at her; she's wearing a pants suit!"

Kendra turned to see the brunette in question wearing a bright blue, nearly blinding pants suit, stuffing a neon pink binder in her locker. Kendra rolled her eyes and muttered, "Oh my God,"

"Don't you think the judges are gonna take one look at her and maybe want to knock her down a peg or two?" Sally asked, and Kendra mulled the thought over in her head.

"You know what?" Kendra smirked. "Deal."

~L~

Kendra roughly pulled the wax strips she had placed underneath Casey's eyebrows away, and she flinched, placing her hands over her eyebrows, which were stinging like they had just been stung by a bee. "The key is to never wax above the eyebrow, always shape from below," she looked at the mirror in Casey's room, admiring her own eyebrows conceitedly. "Trust me; I get a lot of practice, look at mine."

"Kendra, why did you volunteer to give me a new look?" Casey inquired.

"One, I'm a sucker for makeovers, and two, you need something to distract from your horrible personality," Kendra said bluntly, and then she walked over to Casey's bed, sitting down on the edge of it. "Most of the time, I find it hard to be in the same room with you... especially this one, which looks like where Strawberry Shortcake and Holly Hobby come to hook up. You're _extremely _talented, Casey, watching you perform is amazing. But sometimes it's hard to appreciate what a good singer you are because all I'm thinking about is shoving a sock into your mouth."

Casey stared at Kendra, feeling torn between feeling hurt and feeling complimented because of her talent. She decided to drop the subject.

"...Alright, well, what kind of makeover did you have in mind?"

"We need to broaden your appeal," Kendra said as she leaned back on Casey's bed. "I want every boy in school to do a double-take when you strut past."

"There's really only just one boy I'd like to impress," Casey mumbled shyly as she turned in her chair. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course,"

"I'm in love with Ralph," Casey spluttered out loudly and quickly, heaving a sigh afterwards. It felt good to get that off her chest. "I mean, I really want to see where things would go with him… Derek and I could never work."

"I understand completely," Kendra said tonelessly, and then she grabbed Casey's shoulders and turned her around abruptly. "Let's move on to makeup. I happen to know that Ralph is attracted to loose women."

"What?" Casey bumbled, flinching as Kendra grabbed one of her many beauty products and began poking her face with… whatever it was. Casey didn't really know, but what she did know is that she was suspicious of Kendra's motives. Ralph _was _her best friend's boyfriend, after all. Why would she be so eager to get Ralph and her together? "But Sally is so wholesome."

"Let me put this into musical theatre parlance," Kendra offered, making eye contact with her through the mirror. "In Grease, what did Sandy do to get Danny Zuko? She had to ditch the poodle skirt and slap on a cat suit. In short, she had to dress like a ho. Maybe if your look was better, more desirable, Ralph would be in your arms right now, instead of Sally's."

Casey pondered the statement for a moment, and then she looked at Kendra through the reflection in the mirror. "Go for it," she instructed, and the cheerleader smirked.

~L~

"Look, we had no intention of discriminating against your glee club, Mister Rumba," Paul began in a desperate effort to fix this damaged situation as he was presented with a balding, loud teacher from Haverbrook School for the Deaf. "We extended an invitation to the Jane Addams academy to perform because we're lucky enough to have better facilities than they do."

"And you think we don't have the same problem? I run a glee club for a school for the deaf, you think I'm rollin' around in deaf choir money?!" Mister Rumba screeched, and Paul heard the man's cell phone ringing in his pocket. "I mean, yeah, sure, my kids may be deaf, but that shouldn't distract everyone from the fact that they still have a song in their heart! And they should have the same chance as everyone else to express it. Now, I had scarlet fever when I was a kid, leaving me deaf in one ear, so I remember what it's like to have full hearing, but my poor kids don't know the difference! All they know is that they love performing, and then they have to hear that McKinley went and invited those bad girls to the school?! That's just not fair, it's not fair!"

"I think your phone's ringi-"

"What?!" Mister Rumba yelped.

"Your phone's ringing," Paul continued, trying to speak as clearly as he could, but Mister Rumba waved it off.

"No, I've got it on vibrate," he corrected, and Paul fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Now, all I'm saying is that it would be nice if you went and hosted another scrimmage and had the courtesy to invite us this time."

"I couldn't agree more," Paul agreed with a smile, but the teacher opposite him questioned Paul. "I said I agree with you."

Mister Rumba took a deep breath and rolled his eyes. "Okay, I can't hear you. Talk into this ear, scarlet fever!"

"I'm sorry," Paul mumbled, and then he raised his voice. "You're on! Um, how's Monday?"

"No, it has to be Monday," Mister Rumba insisted, and Paul gave up on his feeble attempts of correction and agreed, saying that he couldn't wait to see the kids do their numbers, and implied as such by miming very bad dance moves. "Well, you don't have to make fun of me with those hand gestures."

"I didn't mean do," Paul said, and Mister Rumba fished through his coat pocket for his cell phone.

"Okay, let me check with my secretary. Oh, damn, four missed calls," Mister Rumba complained, and Paul rolled his eyes exaggeratedly when the other teacher wasn't looking. "What's that?"

"Oh, I didn't say anything," Paul said.

"Yes, thank you, I'll take it black, two sugars,"

~L~

After intense shopping trips and fashion tips, Casey strolled about the school in a black, spaghetti-strap halter dress. She tried not to stop breathing when she saw Ralph.

"Hey, Casey," he said nervously as he rubbernecked to look at her, and Casey turned to look at him with a smile on her face.

"Oh, hey Ralph, I didn't see you there," Casey smiled, fighting off the nervousness in her expression. "Did you want to ask me something?"

"I, uh, I just... I just forgot, I got, uh, distracted," Ralph stuttered, and looked down at her chest with his mouth wide open.

"Well, I'm glad I got your attention," Casey said with a suggestive tone in her voice. Ralph looked back up, because his grandma once said that it was rude to stare… he wasn't quite sure if _that's _what she meant, but he was sure the rule was still relevant. "I wanted to know if you wanted to come over on Friday night. As someone who has had long, luxurious locks since I was a toddler in the pageant circuit, I figured I could give you some... tips, on our hair number."

"Yeah!" Ralph yelped a little too enthusiastically. "That, that'd be great."

"Great," Casey said, feigning a nonchalant attitude by Kendra's advice. "How's eight?"

"Eight is terrific! It's terrific..." Ralph coughed, and then he watched Casey as she walked down the hallway, Kendra walking up next to her.

"Objective achieved. Commence phase two," Kendra said with a grin. Back down the hallway, Ralph ran to find Sally, and saw her talking to one of her friends, who left the two to themselves.

"I wanted to ask your permission to maybe do something on Friday night if you're-" Ralph began, but Sally interrupted.

"Oh, that's fine," she said. "I'm babysitting anyways."

A woman a few streets away from her had asked if she could babysit her children, but she had since heard bad things about the three since accepting her offer. She was a little worried, but she figured that maybe spending time with some kids would help her make a decision about her own baby.

"Oh, cool, I'll see ya' later," Ralph kissed her cheek and walked off to his next class, but before Sally made her way to French class, she spotted Derek walking down a hallway not too far from her.

"Hey," she said as she caught up with him. "What are you doing on Friday?"

"The usual - just gonna stand outside a seven-eleven looking depressed until someone offered to buy me a beer," Derek admitted, shrugging slightly. "What's goin' on?"

"You wanna maybe babysit with me?"

~L~

"Some of you, particularly the guys, have come up to me asking some questions about hairography," Paul announced to his club, and noted with a struggle not to laugh that Ralph was picking wig hair out of his mouth. "One of our own has volunteered to walk us through it - she has got it _down_. Amy, take it away."

"Take what away?" Amy asked honestly, and Max tried his hardest not to chuckle.

"...Show us what you've got," Paul rephrased.

"Oh. So, hairography, it works best when you pretend like you're getting tazered," Amy explained, and she pulled her hair out of her ponytail. "So you just move your head around like you're spazzing and stuff."

She held her arms out and began to whiz her hair around, and a few may or may not have wondered if _that's _how she got what everybody assumed to be brain damage.

"Very nice," Paul applauded.

"You guys, it's like cool epilepsy," Amy grinned.

"Come on, guys," Paul instructed, and the students tried their best, but it still looked like they were headbanging. "Let's see what you got."

Observing and giggling at his students, Paul had a feeling of being watched. He looked to the door, and from the small window in the door of the choir room, Ryan watched the futile attempt at hairography. Paul shook his head and walked out, seeing Ryan pretending to innocently get a drink of water from the water fountain.

"When is the lying gonna stop, Ryan?" Paul asked hopelessly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Ryan lied, walking up to Paul challengingly.

"You've been spying on me and we both know it!" Paul yelled, giving up his attempts at remaining calm with the senior. "You'll do anything to torpedo glee club, and it has got to stop!"

"I resent that accusation, Paul, and one I understand you've been making to our friends at Haverbrook and Jane Addams, and it's an outrageous affront to my sterling reputation!" Ryan shot back, pointing a finger in Paul's chest. "That being said, fine, I have been checking up on you, because I don't like what's going on in there. Do you know why I make each of my cheerios wear her hair pulled back in a ponytail? Because I don't want to distract from her impeccable talent. You seem to be taking the opposite approach, Paul, and that leads me to believe you know your kids don't have what it takes."

All the glee clubbers gathered in the doorway, all looking mildly hurt and insulted as Paul felt embarrassed and taken aback.

"I believe in my kids," Paul said unconvincingly.

"Well, maybe in the beginning, but not now," Ryan laughed. "Now that you've seen the competition that threatens your very position in this school! You're going to get me an updated set list by five o'clock tomorrow, and if there's anything on that list that involves demeaning, fruity hair tossing, I'm cutting it."

"I will not let you dictate my number choices," Paul growled, gaining a little bit of confidence back. "And you are not getting that list."

"Then I'm back as co-director," Ryan threatened, and he walked away with an arrogant swagger in his step that Paul loathed.

He turned back to his students and took a deep breath, regaining his composure. "Okay, guys, from the top,"

~L~

Ralph wasn't sure why he was so nervous, sitting on Casey's bed that Friday while she was still in the bathroom. "I'll be just a second!" she called.

"Thanks again for helping me out with this hairography stuff," he said graciously.

In the bathroom, Casey was applying deep red lip gloss to her lips, and mascara to her eyes. "Yeah, I mean it's all about getting warmed up," she said. "Could you think of a song, maybe, that we could practice with? What about the... the one from Grease? Y-you know, we did it when we first joined the club."

"Well, o-okay, only I was mostly nervous that day and-" Ralph began, but he stopped speaking abruptly when Casey strolled out of the bathroom in a very bizarre, very form-fitting black suit with her hair permed.

"Tell me about it, stud," she tried to keep her voice from shaking, but she couldn't mask how nervous she was. Ralph eyed her oddly, and Casey reached to turn the music on.

"I got chills, they're multiplyin', and I'm losin' control," Ralph sang nervously as the piano began. What was she _wearing_?! "'cause the power you're suplyin', is electrifyin'!"

"You better shape up, 'cause I need a man, and my heart is set on you-" Casey sang loudly, but Ralph sprang up from his spot on the bed and shut the music off, telling her to stop. "What's wrong?"

"I need to be honest with you," Ralph started, alarmed by this new look Casey had going on. He wasn't sure that he liked it as much as he did when he first saw it. "I'm really uncomfortable right now and I'm gonna say this as nicely as I possibly can, but you look like a sad clown hooker."

"W-what?" Casey stuttered, crossing her arms over her chest self-consciously.

"This look, it just isn't you. I mean, maybe when I first saw it I was caught off-guard by the fact that you looked all adult and stuff, but that's not what's really great about you, Casey," Ralph confessed, and Casey wouldn't let her eyes stray from the floor as her cheeks lit up in embarrassment and shame. "I actually like the way you usually dress, sequin leg warmers and stuff."

"I though this is what you liked," Casey mumbled, her voice barely audible.

"No... not at all," Ralph shook his head. He felt bad for clearly embarrassing her, but he didn't want to lead her on more than he already had the past few months. "Funny, I was just having this conversation last week with Kendra, and she asked me about this kind of stuff. I thought it was kind of weird, but I told her that this isn't what I'm into, Case."

Casey gave a small, tiny chuckle before shaking her head in disbelief. "I feel like an idiot."

"No, no, this is my fault," Ralph dismissed. "It isn't right for me to be here anyway... but I really like you, Casey. I gotta go."

Ralph cast one last look at her before turning for the door and exiting her room, gently closing the door after him. Casey slowly sat down on the edge of her bed and buried her face in her hands. After quite a good amount of crying, feeling like a fool, she composed herself and picked up her phone. She dialed Kendra's number weakly, and the phone rang a few times before she heard Kendra ask, 'Hello?'

"You set me up!" Casey hissed, trying to sound more confident and angry than she felt. "With Ralph!"

"Looks like _someone _is running for drama queen again," Kendra said, rolling her eyes from her room across town.

"How could you do that? I thought we were sort of starting to become friends," Casey said, a hint of sadness in her voice.

"And what made you think that?" Kendra laughed. "You should be thanking me; all I did was make you realize that your schoolgirl fantasy of running off with Ralph is nothing but a fairytale. _You _need to get over him, okay? I was just trying to protect my friend and her relationship with her boyfriend, because you're doing nothing but trying to ruin it. So, what you need to realize is that _I'm _not the one who's wrong here, you are. Get over him."

Casey was frozen as Kendra stabbed the 'end call' button, leaving the other girl with nothing but the dial tone…

She sat quietly on the bed as she placed the phone next to her. She needed to take her mind off of this.

~L~

Oh, children… our next generation. The innocence they possess is something to be admired, the way that they truly enjoy the simpler things in life.

However, on occasion, they're a less like little perfect angels and more like drunken monkeys. And it just so happened that the children Sally and Derek were babysitting, were more like the latter.

Three red-headed children were running around and knocking things over as the two teenagers were tied to chairs facing back-to-back with a jump rope. "I told you _we _should've been the cowboys," she hissed, feeling panicky as she saw Andrew, the middle child, smashing a pie into Ben, the youngest child's face.

"My bad," Derek apologized flatly.

"What are we gonna do about this?" Sally asked, but she turned her head as much as she could and saw that he had his cell phone in his hands. "Who are you texting?!"

"Uh, Max Miller," Derek said. "He's got wig problems."

"Well, put the phone down and help me with this knot, I've almost got it." Sally instructed, and Derek rolled his eyes, but complied. He reached his hand down to help her with the jump rope knot, but his hand wound up entangled with hers. He really, really wanted to do the right thing by her. And if that meant _making _himself live with her and raise his little girl, he would do it, even if it wouldn't be his first choice… or his second.

But they got the knot untied just as Michael, the eldest child, knocked over the wooden coffee table. "Stop that, not the table!" Sally cried. "Ugh, think of something!"

"I brought my guitar, why don't we sing them a lullaby?" Derek suggested as he batted a wildly swinging pillow away from him.

"Give me this," said Sally, grabbing the pillow. "Hey, kids, look at me!"

The three calmed themselves and looked up at one of their babysitters as she spoke, "Wanna see a real live music video?" she asked, and all three nodded. "Okay."

Derek went to fetch his guitar, and Sally struggled trying to sit all the kids down on one of the two sofas. Derek sat on the couch opposite the kids, and Sally suggested the song 'Papa Don't Preach'. He began to strum the notes of the song.

"Papa, I know you're going to be upset, 'cause I was always your little girl, but you should know by now," Sally sang, and she leaned down to sing into Derek's ear. "I'm not a baby."

"You always taught me right from wrong, I need your help, daddy, please be strong," she sang, and she made the connection between the song and herself. She tried to keep her face smiling. "I may be young at heart, but I know what I'm sayin'."

"The one you warned me all about, the one you said I could do without," she sang, her shoulders bobbing along with the music as she cast a gaze in Derek's direction. "We're in an awful mess, and I don't mean maybe… please!"

"Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep, papa don't preach, I've been losin' sleep," her voice was sweet and captivated the kids as she danced along to the music. "But I've made up my mind, I'm keepin' my baby! I'm gonna keep my baby, mm!"

The song ended, and Michael was the first to speak. "Sing it again!"

~L~

"I think this is the first time they have all been asleep at the same time," the mother of the children, Irene, who was coincidentally Paul's sister in law said as she and Terri, who had 'come to see the show' of how the babysitters handled her sister's kids, watched the three sleep peacefully. "What's that smell?"

"Soap," Sally replied, and the sisters turned to face her.

"What are you, an exorcist?" Terri sneered, and Sally merely smiled gently.

Irene paid Sally and Derek, and as they walked down the hallway to leave, Derek struck up a conversation. "You were awesome tonight," he congratulated.

"I was surprised at how I kinda... enjoyed it," Sally admitted, turning to face him. "I was worried about you at first, you seemed distracted with all that texting to Max."

"Distracted? I was the opposite, babe, I was totally into it," Derek assured her, and she giggled. "All I know is that you've proved something tonight; this parenting thing? We can do this."

Sally looked at him unsurely, but he smiled at her and they kept walking. They both had a lot to think about.

~L~ 

You know what's awkward? Standing in the bathroom at the sinks next to the pregnant girl whose boyfriend you're in love with, but just got scolded for being interested in him. Casey cleared her throat as she stood next to Sally, and began to speak.

"So," she started. "How was your babysitting thing with Derek?"

Sally eyed Casey oddly, having not expected her to speak. "It was good," she said. "The kids were a little insane at first, but we calmed them down."

"Well, that's good," Casey said awkwardly. "I forgot about how you were babysitting with him until he mentioned it."

"When did he mention it?" Sally questioned, and Casey looked away quickly, her cheeks turning red.

"Uh, well, on Friday," she coughed. "We were texting, sort of. I've gotta go, um, bye!"

Casey rushed out of the bathroom as fast as she could, and Sally watched her as she left. Something was off about everything that had just taken place, and Casey was _definitely _not Max. _Why would he lie to me? _Sally wondered. She wasn't sure, but she sure as hell was going to find out.

~L~

"Thank you all so much for coming, we're all glad to have you here," Paul said brightly as the ASL interpreter translated what he was saying into sign for the Haverbrook students. "So, without further ado, I present the New Directions!"

The R&B music started, and all the students whipped their heads around with their hair flying around them, standing on the riser. "Yes, so crazy right now," Noel called. "Most incredibly, it's your boy, Noel. It's your girl, Emily!"

"You ready? Hey! I look up and stare so deep in your eyes, I touch on you more and more every time," Emily sang as her fellow glee clubbers executed the choreography. "When you leave, I'm beggin' you not to go, call your name two, three times in a row."

"I'm hairy high and low; don't ask me why, I don't know!" Noel sang the lyrics from the title song of 'Hair', trying to keep a straight face, both at the song and the insane hair-tossing they were doing.

"Got me lookin' so crazy right now, your love's got me lookin' so crazy right now," the group sang, and the Haverbook students looked at them oddly. "Got me lookin' so crazy right now, your touch got me lookin' so crazy right now!"

"They look totally crazy," one student signed to the girl next to her.

"Totally," the girl signed in reply.

"Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair," Noel sang as the girls hopped up and wrapped their legs around the torsos of the boys, gaining only more weird looks from their audience. "Shinin' gleamin', streamin', flaxen, waxen!"

"Got me hopin' you'll page me right now, your kiss got me hopin' you save me right now," the girls sang, going back to Crazy in Love. "Lookin' so crazy, your love's got me lookin', got me lookin' so crazy, your love got me lookin' so crazy right now, your touch got me lookin' so crazy right now!"

"Down to here, down to there, down to where it stops by itself," Noel sang, and he absent mindedly wondered if he looked like Cousin it if he had dreads. "Where it stops by itself."

"Oh, oh, oh, got me lookin' so crazy right now, so crazy, your love's got me lookin' so crazy right now," all the girls sang, and Casey got a look at the laughing Haverbrook students and the small amount of confidence she had wavered. "Got me lookin' so crazy right now, your touch got me lookin' so crazy right now, crazy right now!"

Amidst tired panting from the McKinley group and scattered giggles from the Haverbrook students, there were unenthusiastic claps and silent applause from the others, and Casey made a point to talk to Paul. "It didn't work at all, did it?" she asked. 

"Well, it's just a rehearsal, it's just a little rough," Paul waved it off as the Haverbook kids took their place around and on the riser. "But we're on to something."

One of the teenagers from Haverbrook took his place in the middle of the group, and Tinkles began to play the chords to 'Imagine' by John Lennon.

"Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try," the student in the middle sang as his classmates signed the lyrics. Nobody noticed that it was off-key, it was too inspiring and beautiful for that to matter. "Imagine there's no hell below us, above us only sky. Imagine all the people, living life for today."

Emily gazed at the club opposite her, and she began to sing along. "Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do, nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too," her voice glided along with the notes, and she stood up to stand with the others. "Imagine all the people, living life in peace… you, ooh-ooh-ooh!"

Emily followed along with the signs, and Noel stood up next, and the New Directions harmonized along with the rest of them, all beginning to stand up and join in. "You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one," Noel sang. "I hope some day you will join us, and the world will be as one."

"Imagine no possessions," Casey sang, chills running down her spine as she signed along, becoming caught up in the moment. Across the room, Paul felt tears well in his eyes. "I wonder if you can."

"No need for greed or hunger," Casey and Ralph sang, although from different parts of the room, their voices still meshed. "A brotherhood of man."

"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world, you, ooh-ooh-ooh," they all sang, every one of them joining in and following the signs.

"You may say I'm a dreamer," Emily sang. "But I'm not the only one."

"I hope some day you will join us," The group harmonized. "And the world will live as one."

When the song ended, Paul, after moving his hand away from his heart, the ASL interpreter, Tinkles and Mister Rumba all waved their hands in the air, the sign for clapping.

~L~

Sally walked with a serious look on her face, strutting up to Derek's locker and grabbing his cell phone, "Hey babe," he said, trailing off as she looked through his texts from Friday night and saw rather explicit messages to and from none other than Casey. "Um, you really don't wanna do that."

"You lied to me," she hissed.

"I'm sorry. I tried to resist Casey, I did," Derek said, taking his cell phone out of her hands. "But I'm young, and girls have this power over me! …Okay, that was an awful excuse. Look, I'm really, really sorry."

"I thought you wanted to be with me," Sally spat, and Derek looked at the floor. She stared at him momentarily, because _she knew that look_. "…Or is that just you trying to do the right thing? Because that's not what I need right now, Derek. What I need right now is the truth, especially from you!"

"Sally, I really, really like you, okay? You're a great person, and a great girl," Derek began, placing his hands on her shoulders. "And I want to do everything in my power to help you with our baby, I want to be a part of her life if you're going to keep her, and I want to be a part of your life, but… I don't love you. Not like that."

"Thank you," Sally said, and she tried her hardest to prevent the tears in her eyes from falling. "Thank you for not lying to me."

Derek sighed and placed a kiss on the top of her head before apologizing once more, and walking down the hallway.

~L~

Sally sat on a chair in the choir room during lunch, not having much of an appetite that day. Tears rolled down her cheeks and her shoulders wracked with sobs. She was disappointed but relieved, upset but grateful, and everything was just so confusing. There was never a one-word, simple answer for anything anymore. "Sally?" she heard a voice ask, and she looked up to see Paul.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled, standing up from her seat. "I'll get out of your way."

"No, no, no, stay," Paul insisted, throwing his folder of sheet music onto the piano and gently grabbing her shoulder, insisting that she sit. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just," she began, and she sniffed slightly. "I'm going through a lot… everything's so weird now. I've been thinking about keeping her, the baby, and it's just so hard, because there are so many things I want to do, so many things I want to accomplish, and now I know that I won't be able to do them if I keep her, but I _want _to keep her."

"Adoption is always a safe option, Sally," Paul said, sitting down next to her. "You can still do the things that you want. And even if you do keep her, it's never too late to go to college. And your parents can always help you out-"

"My parents found out and they practically disowned me," Sally informed him, dabbing at the corners of her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. "They kicked me out, so now I'm living with Ralph and his grandma."

"I'm very sorry," Paul empathized. It was sad to imagine what she was going through, not just with the pregnancy, but the situation with her parents as well. "If you ever need to talk to someone, you know where my office is."

Sally stood up and grabbed her bag, and Paul stood up alongside her. "Thank you, Paul," she said, and she unexpectedly leaned in for a hug. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to no longer have the guidance of the two people who were supposed to love you no matter what – your parents. So, he hugged her back, and she walked out of the choir room with a decidedly confident face. Right before school let out, she decided to find Ralph's locker and wait by it. It didn't take him long to show up, and he looked at her nervously. "Hi," he said.

"Hi," she mirrored. "…Can we be in love again?"

"I have to tell you something first," Ralph began, and Sally looked up at him questioningly. "I, uh, want us to be honest with each other no matter what."

"You can tell me anything," she assured him, nodding.

"Cool, I, uh... it's not really even that big a deal, I mean, I didn't actually do anything," Ralph began, and Sally eyed him nervously. "But the other night when you were babysitting, I kind of went over to Casey's house. But nothing happened, I was just worked up about us fighting, and she put on some kind of really weird cat-woman suit... so I think something could've happened, but it didn't! 'Cause I only wanna be with you."

Under normal circumstances, she would've been sent into a fit of rage, but she had been given a new outlook on life as of late. "It's alright, thank you for being honest with me," she said.

"I love you, Sally," he said quickly and nervously, but genuinely, and he leaned down to wrap his arms around her.

"I love you, too," she said, and she pulled out of the hug, looking up at him as they walked down the hallway. On her way to gather her things from her locker so she could leave for the day, Casey spotted the couple, and she looked on at them sadly.

Kendra spotted her staring at the couple, and she made eye contact with her. In all honesty, she _did _feel somewhat guilty for what she had done. Casey waved at Kendra weakly and she waved back.

~L~

"Hey, Ryan, you got a sec'?" Paul asked as he poked his head into Ryan's office.

"Sure," Ryan said as he looked up from the computer on his desk.

"I owe you an apology," Paul confessed, sitting down on the chair across from Ryan's desk, holding a piece of paper in his hand. "I did think the kids needed to be a little more show-biz, and I was wrong. That isn't who they are, so thank you for helping me see that. Oh, and here's the new set list."

Paul handed the piece of paper to Ryan, and he looked over it. "Wow, these are great choices, Paul. Proud Mary? Smokin' hot deep cut."

"Smokin' hot," Paul mimicked.

"Don't mock me," Ryan deadpanned, and Paul apologized. "I don't recognize this last one."

"Oh, that's the new addition. Yeah, I want the kids to forget everything I taught them about hairography, because-"

~L~

"We're starting from scratch," Paul said as he unstacked twelve, silver stools. "Grab a stool."

"So," Noel began. "We're a stool choir now?"

"Nope, we're not dancing with the stools," Paul said, slightly amused by the thought of his kids doing a number with them. "No gimmicks, no false theatricality, we're just gonna sit in them and sing."

"Thanks, Paul," Casey said with an approving smile.

~L~

"This is their set list from sectionals. Don't Stop Believing, that's in. Proud Mary - performed blindfolded - that's in," Ryan said as he sat opposite Ms. Hitchens and Mister Rumba in his office, showing them the set list. "Now, I suggest you take these two songs, split them between your two groups, and I'll pull some strings and make sure that Paul and his kids perform last. That way, it'll look like he stole the songs from you."

"Um, who do you think I am?" Ms. Hitchens asked with an eyebrow raised in disbelief.

"That's actually a very good question," Ryan segued, "Because I've forgotten both of your names."

"Look, I spend every waking hour of my day teaching those girls that lying and cheating is not the way you're ever gonna get ahead," Ms. Hitchens explained, and she peered down at the set list and back up at Ryan skeptically. "And you're suggesting that I do exactly that so that I can win a _singing _competition?"

"Yeah, pretty much. I think you're missing an opportunity to give your girls a second chance," Ryan said, knowing that he was striking a chord. "These McKinley kids are gonna do fine, but outside of glee club, your girls don't have a heck of a lot going for them, and I'd hate to see them so devastated by losing that they give up entirely. You know how many deaf choirs have won this competition?"

"Okay, everybody's gonna have to speak up because I can't hear," Mister Rumba yelled. "Deaf in one ear, scarlet fever!"

"I assume you read lips, read these," Ryan said, pointing at his mouth. "Never let anything distract you from winning. Ever."

~L~ 

All twelve of the New Directions sat on their seats and harmonized the first notes of 'True Colors', all in different colored shirts.

"You with the sad eyes, don't be discouraged, oh I realize it's hard to take courage in a world full of people," Sandra sang cheerily, and Ralph and Sally locked eyes. She felt so bad for not telling him the truth. "You can lose sight of it all, and the darkness inside you can make you feel so small,"

"But I see your true colors, shining through, I see your true colors, and that's why I love you!" Sandra's voice was sweet, bright and clear, but Derek hardly cared as he stared over at Casey, thinking back on the previous Friday, still confused and shocked by it, but he looked away from her when she looked at Ralph. Nothing was fair. "So, don't be afraid to let them show, your true colors, true colors, are beautiful like a rainbow."

"Show me a smile then, don't be unhappy, can't remember when I last saw ya' laughin'," Sandra smiled while she sang, and Sally snuck a look at Derek. She wouldn't make him do anything he didn't want to. "If this world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bear, you call me up, because you know I'll be there."

"And I'll see your true colors shining through," the rest of the group sang while Sandra belted out a loud, clear, 'Yeah!', "I see your true colors, and that's why I love you! So, don't be afraid to let them show your true colors, true colors…"

And Sandra took the last words, "Are beautiful like a rainbow."


	12. Mattress

As Paul walked into the teacher's lounge, he spotted about six people examining their skin in compacts and a few eating nothing but fruits, vegetables and high-protein foods. He spotted Kathy sitting next to Ken without a word being spoken, and Paul laughed to himself when he saw that Kathy had on latex gloves and was sipping on her soda through a long straw.

"Hey guys, mind if I join ya'?" Paul asked, and Kathy nodded towards one of the empty chairs as if to say 'get me out of this awkward silence with this man'. "So, what's with all the primping?"

"Yearbook pictures," Kathy explained briefly. "This is the fiftieth edition of the McKinley High School Thunderclap."

"I'm gonna drop twenty pounds by Friday and look smokin' hot for that photo," Ken said. "_And _trim down to 210 for my hot date in a week."

Paul and Kathy eyed him, and he continued. "As a matter of fact, I'm gonna go get started," he said, standing up as he gathered up his things. "See ya', guys."

The two remaining teachers watched the coach leave the room and Kathy shook her head, "He is so strange…" she commented awkwardly, and Paul nodded in agreement. "But, uh, it's good he left, because I have something to tell you."

"Shoot,"

"I got an amazing job offer in Cleveland at Shaker Heights High School as their Drama teacher, and they have such passionate performers there," Kathy gushed. "I'm going to hate leaving this place, but it's a good career move for me… I took the offer."

"That's great!" Paul enthused as he tapped her on the shoulder in congratulations. He tried to hide his disappointment and masked it with his honest happiness for her.

"Thank you," Kathy grinned widely and she took a dainty sip from her soda can. "I've got an appointment with my realtor to go apartment hunting on a week from Saturday."

"But Sectionals is a week from Saturday…" Paul commented, and Kathy all but dropped her coca-cola.

"I totally forgot about sectionals," she said sadly. "I'm so sorry, I wanted to go... for the kids!"

Paul was about to say something in response, but Ryan strolled into the office and stood next to their chair.

"Nice suit," Kathy began with a slight smirk as the teenager looked down at them with a new haircut and donning something of a suit.

"Kira, Paul, every year when the yearbook photos come around, I always elect to by new cloths and get a haircut," Ryan explained, gaining questioning looks from the teachers as he sat down next to them. "It's not like I really _need _anything to look fantastic anyway, but I do it just to make things interesting. You know, I've got a storage unit full of trophies, medallions, but for the rest of you educators, these yearbook pictures are really the only concrete proof you have that anything you've ever done in your sorry lives has made any difference whatsoever."

Kathy fought the urge to roll her eyes and merely continued to gulp down her soda, and Paul clenched his hands into fists.

"My Cheerios are so excited," Ryan said with what seemed to actually be a sense of endearment. "Got 'em on a yam diet, it draws the water out of the skin."

"I'm sure my glee kids are gonna be excited, too," Paul commented, and Ryan began to shake his head.

"Glee kids don't get a photo," he corrected.

"What?" Kathy asked in shock. "Why is that?"

"Well, I just had a meeting with principal Lassiter, Kelsey," Ryan began, and Kathy wondered what he would do if she started calling him 'Rupert' or 'Richard'. "And what with all the vandalism of the glee club photos over the years, I convinced him that putting the glee kids in this year's Thunderclap was subjecting the little freaks to more humiliation and ridicule."

"Why can't you just accept the fact that my kids are gonna take sectionals this year?" Paul questioned angrily.

"That's not gonna happen," Ryan laughed.

"And stop with the pointless vendetta!" Paul exclaimed, losing his cool with the student.

"Alright, this is so not fair, Ryan," Kathy calmly tried to keep the peace, but the two ultimately ignored her.

"You know what? I'm gonna talk to Lassiter about this," Paul threatened, and Ryan chuckled as he stood from his seat.

"Hey, good luck with that," he said with sarcasm dripping from his voice. "You know, you two are boring me, now, I'm gonna go do somethin' else."

The seventeen year old headed out the door and Paul nearly slammed his fist on the table while Kathy looked at him empathetically.

~L~

At the next rehearsal, Sheldon had walked in with Thunderclaps he slammed onto the back of the shiny piano and a theory as he faced his group of fellow students.

"Where's Casey?" Sheldon asked impatiently, raring to go.

"She's not here yet," Ralph replied from his seat in one of the chairs.

"Perfect. Glee club stands on a delicate precipice," Sheldon began, speaking to his fellow glee clubbers. "We have all felt the cold humiliation of a slushie in the face, but as of right now, our relative anonymity as a club has shield us from even further persecution... swirlies, patriotic wedgies."

"What's a patriotic wedgie?" Emily asked as she twisted up her face.

"It's when they hoist you up the flag pole by your undies," Ralph provided, and nobody in the room could decide if he knew that because he had _done _that to someone, or if that had happened to him.

"Strangely," Noel piped up. "It did make me feel more American."

The rest of the club laughed, but Sheldon got back to business. "Based on my investigation, I am of the opinion that a yearbook photo would only fuel the flames of anti-glee club terror. I've done a little library research," he explained, opening one of the books."Peter Gellar, glee club, second tenor, 1998. He can be seen here with both a drawn on Hitler mustache and a rice patty hat, shortly after the yearbook came out, Mister Geller had a nervous breakdown. He is now the homeless man who sleeps in front of the public library."

"Patches?!" Sally questioned, her eyebrows raised, and Sheldon nodded while the rest of the room gaped.

"Patches," he confirmed.

"He barks at my mom," Amy said.

After a moment of confused silence, Sheldon carried on.

"Exhibit B, Tawny Peterson, glee club class of 2000, seen here with a cartoon knife stuck in her head, in a macabre tableau that, in four years, would prove eerily prescient," Sheldon said sadly, and the rest of the club cringed. "I think I speak for all of us when I say that not having to pose for a yearbook photo might be a blessing in disguise. I suggest not fighting Lassiter's ruling."

"Oh, hey guys," Paul began as he walked into the choir room, and Sheldon shut the Thunderclap. "Ah, looking at old Thunderclaps?"

"It's really unsettling," Noel gulped.

"And totally unfair," Paul said, and Sheldon nearly rolled his eyes. Sometimes, his teacher could be a bit clueless. "Hey can I borrow one of these? You know what? This year's Thunderclap is going to have a glee club photo with every one of your smiling faces. You have my word on it."

The students smiled weakly and gave their very best 'yay!' faces, but still, they didn't even want to imagine anybody in that club barking at people from the steps of a public library.

~L~

"Paul, I'm doing the glee club a solid," Lassiter said as Paul stood opposite him in Lassiter's office. "We're denying the opportunity to other children to further humiliate them."

"No, no, no," Paul insisted. "Those kids get up on stage all the time, no matter what anyone things of them, and they perform! They don't let anyone or anything get to them, and_ that's_ something you should encourage! Ryan is wrong!"

"Fine," Lassiter started. "I'll give them a photo."

"Thank you!" Paul said exasperatedly.

"For one thousand dollars," the Principal continued, and Paul turned to look at him, yelping 'What', "That's that it costs. The yearbook is prime advertising space, Paul. Fredrickson's Funeral Parlor experienced a 1.3 percent increase in revenue after their full page ad last year in the Thunderclap."

Paul sighed, and silently wished that Ryan had never been enrolled in McKinley, but he tried to clear his mind to come up with an agreement. "Okay, um," he began. "What about a quarter page, how much does that cost?"

Lassiter sighed and grumbled inaudibly as he did the math on his calculator. "Three-hundred and twenty-five dollars," he announced, and Paul closed his eyes as if the number had just slain him. "That will buy you enough space for a photo of two members of the glee club, right below the advertisement for Uncle Sandro's Chicken Inside of a Waffle."

"Lassiter, that's a lot of money,"

"It's a compromise, Paul," Lassiter said. "Now, I suggest you select a good-looking cheerleader, not the pregnant one, and the quarterback for the photo as their faces are less likely to be scratched out with safety pins."

But before Paul could say anything in return, Casey came storming into the room, stomping her feet for extra emphasis. "Paul, I'm very sorry to interrupt," she began hotly. "Principal Lassiter, as you very well may know, this is my first year in glee club, and I've just been informed that New Directions has not been afforded a yearbook photo. Now, my mother has a very close relationship with our local branch of the ACLU and if it's up to me-"

"Beat you to the punch, Casey," Paul stopped her, placing a hand on her shoulder, and quietly fantasized about there being a mute button on that girl… "It's all good, we're in the yearbook."

"Oh, fantastic," Casey gushed. "Thank you so much!"

The two watched her as she left with a bounce in her step, both mildly mortified by the girl. Make fun of her all you want, but school pictures were everything to her. They're great practice for getting photographed by the paparazzi. Invasive as the press may be, stars are dependent on them for their fame, and she felt that she must be prepared if she was going to join the ranks. In order to do so, she joined every club she possibly could – Speech Club, Mock United Nations Club, Renaissance Club, Muslim Students Club, Black Student Union… you name it! _I know everybody thinks thinking that I'm just joining all these clubs to give off the appearance that I'm involved, known to exist, but glee club is different; I really love glee, and I believe in what we stand for. _She thought. _We've come from behind, dismissed and ridiculed by everyone, and we've made something of ourselves, something that I'm proud to be a part of, something I want to be remembered for._

Across the room, Sally sat opposite Amy and Kendra who were drawing on the face of a student in an old Thunderclap. _I miss my Cheerios uniform, it made me feel safe, contained._ Sally thought, her mind wandering. Even when she was feeling left out; at least she _looked_ like she was a part of something. She wanted her kids to be able to look back at those books and see who she was, make them proud. Not the bastard one she was carrying then, of course, the ones she would have when she was married and ready. _I might not look like a cheerleader anymore, but I'm still her on the inside. _She pondered._ I'm done playing the victim! When that cheerleading picture is taken for the yearbook, I'm going to be in it and back on the squad, weather Ryan Sylvester likes it or not!_

~L~

In Lassiter's office, Paul handed him a check for three hundred and twenty-five dollars. "Could you wait to cash that until Thursday?" he asked, and Lassiter nodded.

Paul made his way off to glee rehearsal, and thought up an idea to choose who was going to be in the photo.

In the choir room, Sheldon was practicing his piano scales when Casey walked up to him suddenly. "Sheldon! I have a fantastic idea for a club that would officially make me the most involved student in the whole school," she began, and Sheldon stared blankly. "I want us to start a Gay-Lesb-All."

"…I'm sorry?" Sheldon said slowly.

"The Gay-Lesbian Alliance," Casey shook her head at him like it was the most simple thing in the world. "Gay-Lesb-All!"

Sheldon stood up and walked away to sit his _girlfriend_ as he tried his hardest to forget that any of the previous events had ever happened, and Paul walked into the room with a grin on his face, excited to tell the club all of the good news.

"Hey, guys, great news! Glee club gets a photo in the Thunderclap!" Paul said joyfully, and he didn't even remotely pick up on the false enthusiasm in the clubbers' cheers. "Yup! It's gonna show everyone at this school that glee club is on its way up! When we win regionals, those Thunderclaps are gonna be collector's items. I mean, all of your classmates are going to be begging for your autographs! But I had to compromise to do it... um, we only get a quarter page in the back, which means we have to pick two team captains to appear in the photo. So, tomorrow, we're gonna put it to a vote. Exciting, huh? Alright!"

~L~

The following day, Casey grinned widely at Emily, who rolled her eyes disdainfully, "Well, we're all here, I guess we should vote," she said flatly, and Casey nearly reached the brim of her metaphorical cup with bouncing excitement.

"With your permission," Casey sprung out of her seat, and Derek tried his hardest not to laugh like a hyena. "I have prepared a few words."

"I nominate Casey," Emily said tonelessly.

"Second," Sheldon agreed.

"Alright, let's vote up in this piece," Derek began, already jotting down Casey's name on his piece of paper. "I gotta go hit the gym and load up on the Guns of Derekesis for the hockey picture."

Each of the students wrote down their votes and placed them in a hat, and after a few _Survivor _jokes, Paul pulled out all the slips of paper. "Looks like everybody voted for Casey," he concluded. "Including Casey. But we need two captains, guys."

"Why two?" Sally said hurriedly, eager to keep herself out of the photo. "We're fine with having Casey represent us in the Thunderclap by herself."

"We'd actually prefer it," Sheldon continued, and Paul sighed in disappointment as the bell rang and his students poured out of the room.

~L~

"The worst part is that after all this time, they're still embarrassed to be in glee club," Paul ranted to Kathy in her office and she looked back at him apologetically from her perfectly organized file cabinet. "I mean, they still see themselves as losers! I just need one of them to step up and become co-captain."

"Well, maybe you should let them use the captain they already elected," Kathy pitched. "You know, sometimes things sound a lot different coming from a peer, even if that peer is as annoying as Casey. You know, none of this is gonna matter if they win at sectionals. I'm really sorry I can't be there."

"It's alright," Paul said, but he knew it was a lie. "…I'm gonna miss you when you leave, Kath."

The two locked eyes, but Paul quickly caught himself when his nerve endings sensed that ring on his finger. "You're the last sane teacher here, after all," he laughed, and she giggled along with him, however fake it was.

~L~

"You wanted to see me, Paul?" Casey asked as she stepped into the choir room the following day while he un-stacked the chairs in the room.

"Oh, yeah, Case! Sit down," Paul said animatedly, and Casey sat on a chair he had just placed on the floor. "So, how's the new captaincy going?"

Casey pondered the question for a moment before replying. "I think that my unanimous election gave me a very strong mandate to shake things up," Casey grinned, and Paul nodded in praise for his student.

"Great!" He smiled back at her. Ever since she had gotten over her crush, she had stopped complaining at him… well, at least a little bit less. "Well, I have a job for you, captain."

Casey saluted, and Paul jumped right into it. He had a plan for this – make it about her. "We need a co-captain," he explained. "You have so many great ideas, no reason you shouldn't have help pushing 'em through."

"I could use a trusty lieutenant," she said thoughtfully. "I do have over sixy-five proposals."

Score.

"So, can I count on you?" Paul asked, and she stuck her hand out for him to shake.

"No problem," she assured. "I'm on it."

~L~

"Um, I can't be co-captain," Emily said as Casey approached her by the water fountain. "No time, Kwanzaa."

"Kwanzaa's late December, Emily," Casey pleaded. "The picture's this Thursday."

"Yeah, prepping early this year," Emily lied and she rushed away.

~L~

"I'd love to be in the photo, Casey," Noel said with a fake cheer in his voice. "But I'm _way _taller than you, so you'd be about five inches shorter than me and it would throw off the whole composition!"

"I'll stand on a stool!" Casey tried with a grin, and Noel put on his metaphorical thinking cap.

"But, if you stand on a stool," he began. "You'll be too tall and you'll look like a freak troll!"

"On second thought," Casey rushed as she gaped at him. "I don't think you're leadership material, Noel!"

Noel pointed to himself, "Follower."

~L~

"Amy, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity!" Casey began cheerily, though she was losing her steam after trying to Emily, Sandra, Max, Sam, Noel, Kendra, Sheldon and even _Derek_ to be her co-captain, all refusing. She needed someone, anyone! She refused to let Paul down, let him think that she couldn't even recruit one of her fellow glee clubbers.

"No way," Amy declined as she walked ahead of Casey in the hallway.

"Why not?!"

"Because I don't wanna be in that picture with you," Amy said quietly. "It'll get defaced."

"No it won't!" Casey tried to reassure her, but Amy shook her head.

"Yes it will," she said with an air of sadness in her voice. "I'll be the one doing it."

Casey trailed off as Amy walked swiftly down the hallway. She only had one choice left.

"I'm desperate," she admitted hopelessly as she followed him down a hallway at the end of the day on the way out of school. "Glee club needs you Ralph!"

"I'm totally honored you asked me, but don't you think you should pick someone who, like, cares more?" Ralph asked nervously. He didn't want to wind up like that Patches guy, barking at people… or worse, Tawny. "Not that I don't, but I just have hockey and friends and stuff…"

"Look, okay, glee club only started working after _you _joined," Casey tried with a wild smile. He _had _to accept, she wouldn't let him say no. "I mean, face it, we wouldn't have cheerleaders and football players in the club if it wasn't for you!"

"You know I love glee club," Ralph grumbled. "I just don't know why I have to represent it."

"Because _you're _a leader, Ralph," Casey started; grabbing a vice-like hold on his arm, but the intensity in her eyes distracted him from the piercing pain in his arm. "And that's what leaders do! They stick their necks out for people that they care about. There are stakes here, morale is low, and you know it. If things don't change, we're not even gonna place at sectionals and then the club is over. I can't do this alone."

Ralph stared at her, because sometimes, Casey really knew what to say to him.

"You don't have to," he said. "I am a leader, that's who I am, who I wanna be... you got yourself a co-captain. I'll do the picture with you."

Casey smiled a wide smile and thanked him loudly before scurrying off.

~L~

"I totally understand that as captain of the hockey team you've worked really hard to project an appearance of steely toughness," Casey assured Ralph as they walked into the choir room together a few days following his new co-captaincy. "But, glee club is different; we have to present the appearance of positivity and optimism. So, we're gonna practice, and I'm going to teach you how to smile correctly for your photo."

Casey sat him down on the riser and handed him a piece of paper before walking towards the band and handing them all sheets of paper, and the final one going to Tinkles, who started the first notes of 'Smile' by Lily Allen.

"When you first left me, I was wantin' more, but you were kissin' that girl next door, what'd you do that for?" Casey asked as she playfully batted at Tinkle's shoulder, and he cracked a smile. She began to dance around the piano, and Ralph eyed her nervously as he echoed her voice. "When you first left me, I didn't know what to say, I've never been on my own that way, just sat by myself all day."

"I was so lost back then," Casey sang as she ran to sit next to him on the riser, and she rocked him back and forth in time with the music while he provided the backing vocals. "But with a little help from my friends, I've found the light in the tunnel at the end."

"Now you're calling me up on the phone," Casey's voice rang around the room cheerfully and she all but sat in Ralph's lap, alarming him a little at first. "So you can have a little whine and a moan, and it's only because you're feelin' alone!"

"At first, when I see you cry," they sang together and Casey pulled him onto his feet, wrapping his arm around her while he read the lyrics. "Yeah, it makes me smile, yeah, it makes me smile. At worst, I feel bad for a while, but then I just smile, I go ahead and smile."

She danced him around the room and tried every antic she could to get a real smile from him, which may or may not have included spanking him, while they sang meaningless little words along to the tune of the music.

"At first, when I see you cry," she sang playfully as she motioned him to 'come here'. They sat back down on the riser and kept singing. "Yeah, it makes me smile, yeah, it makes me smile. At worst, I feel bad for a while, but then I just smile, I go ahead and smile."

Ralph tickled her and she laughed with a wide grin. "Ah!" she squeaked. "Stop that, I'm ticklish!"

~L~

As Ralph struggled with his hockey gear in the locker room after practice, two of his teammates snuck on him waiting for him to finally take off his padding and jersey. When he finally managed to get it off, the two attacked him with black markers.

"What the hell?!" Ralph yelped.

"Hey, man, we're practicing, dude!" Ace, possibly one of the biggest jerks on the team, spat as he and Karoffski drew on his cheeks. "Shut up!"

"You're gonna be in the glee club photo," Karoffski said meanly. "And we don't wanna mess up messin' it up."

"Screw you, Karoffski," Ralph yelled, breaking away from the two and slamming him into a wall. "I'm sick of you pullin' people down!"

"Don't you talk that kumbaya crap! Alright, you know the system's put in place to keep order around here," Ace said while Ralph glared daggers and shoved him. "Hey, I'm gonna give you some options, you know what. You want me to put the Hitler mustache on your glee club picture or you want the buck teeth for your glee club picture? Which one do you want? Man, it don't matter to me, I'll put both on."

"Hey, how do you spell 'loser'?" Karoffski asked as he began to walk away with Ace. "I'm gonna write it on his forehead."

"With his big old potato head," Ace guffawed with a look back at his teammate. "You could write a haiku on that thing."

~L~

That Thursday, the choir room had a large vinyl sheet had been spread over the wall and floor, and two stools were placed side-by-side for the co-captains. But only one of them was there.

Casey sat fiddling with her hair nervously, and the photographer, named Dennis Cusperberg, waited impatiently by his camera.

"Can we shake a leg here?" He asked, masking his frustration.

"Fine… I'm ready, I'll do it myself," Casey mumbled sadly as she pushed herself straighter up on the chair, but Dennis snapped her picture before she was properly posed. "Wait! I insist on only being shot from my left side."

The photographer sighed and Casey tilted herself to the left. She smiled weakly and fought the tears of embarrassment and disappointment that were springing to her eyes.

"Yeah, I kind of need to see your teeth," Dennis said as he saw the distressed look on her face in the photos. "It's sort of my job here."

"I'm sorry, I'm just- I'm upset, my co-captain bailed," Casey stammered, and she stood abruptly. "I'm sorry, I-I just need a minute."

She walked towards a mirror placed around some lights and stared at her own face, worrying herself as she thought, _Snap out of this, stop being defined by what other people think of you... or how they disappoint you, _she thought as she nodded supportively at her reflection._ It's lonely at the top, you know that. What's that song about overcoming professional and personal disappointments? Oh yeah! When you're smiling, when you're smiling, the whole world smiles with you..._

"I'm ready," Casey said with a newfound air of confidence as she walked over to the chair and turned to the left, smiling widely. After only two photos, Dennis stopped.

"Great," he said and started to take the camera off of its tripod.

"W-w-w-wait, that's it? I practiced over eighteen different poses for this shoot, and I haven't even shown you my any of my over-the-left-shoulder pose!" Casey yelped, and she swiveled around to face the back of the room and she looked over her shoulder innocently. "See?"

"Sorry, kid, I gotta blow," Dennis said, gathering up his things. "I've got a casting session in half an hour."

She froze, and every concern she had previously had for the glee club suddenly vanished. This had the potential to be bigger than glee club.

"A casting session for what?" Casey asked with her interest suddenly piqued.

"My brother-in-law is shooting a commercial for his store, I'm directing it. I just do these school photos for the money," Dennis explained, and Casey began to cry helplessly, her shoulders wracking with sobs. "W-well, wait, okay, no, don't... I can take a couple more pictures for you."

"I can cry on demand," Casey said as she looked up, the tears stopping instantaneously. "It's one of my many talents, I'm very versatile, and aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals, I'll pretty much do anything to break into the business."

Dennis was taken aback, but he continued, "Well, you certainly seem talented and all, but there's other speaking parts in this thing, I need a bunch of other actors, too."

"I can help with that," Casey began with a smile.

~L~

"I'd like to call this meeting to order!" Casey yelled from the choir room as she walked towards the door to shut it, but she saw Ralph and let him in. "Hello, Ralph, how nice of you to _show._" She snarked, and he sighed, tired of being expected to please everybody.

"Ugh, look, I'm sorry! The guys were harassing me in the locker room about it, they said if I took the glee club picture they'd make me chose between a Hilter mustache or buck teeth, and I can't rock either of those looks," Ralph explained hurriedly, and Casey turned to look at him with an expression that said, 'You sound really stupid right now', so he took his seat next to Sally. "Do you think I have a potato head?" he asked her, and she merely sat there in silence and wonder at her rather strange boyfriend.

"Look, I realize now that all of you people think that glee club is a joke. And you're convinced that we can't win, and intend to sit idly by until Lassiter cancels the club," Casey said loudly, and made a quick note that Ralph was patting down the back of his skull. "Well, I'm about to present to you a rare opportunity; the opportunity to become stars."

"How?" Sally asked skeptically.

"We've all been cast in a local commercial," Casey said with a smug smirk on her face.

"Are you serious?!" Ralph asked with his eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Yes, Ralph," Casey snapped. "And while all of you have been so concerned with your appearance in this school, I've landed glee club its first big break, simply put, making us all celebrities. And no one messes with celebrities _or _defaces their pictures."

"What's the commercial?" Sam asked.

"Hold onto your hats, and get ready to sell..." Casey trailed off, and the rest of the club looked at her expectantly. "Some mattresses!"

The club broke out into happy, excited chatter. "I'm gonna get a black tie," Sam claimed among them.

"My grandma's gonna be really proud," Ralph said towards Sally.

~L~

"I can't believe we're finally breaking into the business!" Sam said excitedly towards his fellow glee clubbers.

"You guys, I want us to all remember this moment. Soon there may be agents and managers and movie deals," Casey began quite seriously, and she snuck a small look over at Derek that he returned. "But right now, I want us to remember what it's like to be here together as a team."

"Whatever," Emily said with fake, joking sassiness. "As soon as I get my record deal, I'm not speaking to any of you."

"Okay, guys, we're very excited to have you here," Dennis's balding brother-in-law, named Richard, said as he walked up to the group. "We here at Mattress Land believe that mattresses aren't just for sleeping and fornicating anymore. We believe that buying an affordable mattress should be fun."

"Alright, let's go over this script," Dennis began. "I think it's pretty brilliant - I wrote it myself. Action!"

Ralph cleared his throat and started with his lines on the script in his hands, "Ah, me…" he sighed.

"What's wrong?" Emily said with a bit too much cheeriness.

"We just lost our jobs at the factory," Derek read from the script all too dramatically. "And we can't get a good night's sleep..."

"Chipper up! Come on down to Mattress Land! We've got near-wholesale prices to fit your style and pocketbook!" Casey called loudly while flailing around slightly. "I-I'm sorry, Mister Cusperberg, this script is brilliant, but we're a glee club, we should perform!"

"Perform the lines as I wrote them," Dennis suggested snarkily.

"Wait, Dennis," Richard said, earning a hefty dose of eye rolling from his brother-in-law. "What'd you have in mind?"

Casey smiled at her teammates and they quickly came up with a makeshift number.

~L~

Eleven of the twelve glee clubbers stood with one foot on two mattresses lined up next to each other as they sang the intro to the song. Ralph screamed in tune with the music as he slid on his knees in-between the mattresses and the others dove onto one of the two mattresses. "I get up! Nothin' gets me down," Ralph sang. "You gotta jump! I've seen the toughest around."

"And I know, baby just how you feel!" Casey sang as Ralph grabbed a hold of her waist and hoisted her onto a mattress.

"You've got to roll with the punches to get to what's real," they both sang, miming punching each other while the others jumped on the beds and Derek rolled backwards trying not to laugh.

"Oh, can't you see me standing here, I've got my back against the record machine," Noel sang as he sat waving a sign reading 'jump' with Sally, Sandra and Emily scattered around him, echoing his vocals. "I ain't the worst that you've seen, oh can't you see what I mean?"

"Might as well jump, jump!" the group sang, and Richard couldn't help but jump a little watching the kids. "Might as well jump, go ahead, jump, jump! Go ahead and jump!"

"Ba, ba, ba, ba ba ba-da, ba ba-da-da!" the club sang together as they popped up from behind the mattresses, one by one.

"Jump, yeah!" Emily belted out around the others' voices.

"Might as well jump, jump!" they sang, and they took turns jumping and making someone who was laying down spring up into the air when the other landed. "Might as well jump, go ahead, jump, jump! Go ahead and jump!"

"Jump, jump, jump, jump!" they chanted.

"Yeah!" Emily sang loudly from her spot on one of the smaller mattresses.

"Jump!"

"Come on down to Mattress Land," Richard offered as the kids panted from exhaustion.

"Come on down to Mattress Land!"

~L~

"Hey," Paul called as he walked in the door of his apartment. "I'm home!"

His wife stomped up to him with her hair thrown up into a messy bun and a crumpled up piece of paper in her hand. "What is _this_?!" She screamed, throwing the paper at his feet and placing her hands on her hips. Paul bent forward to pick up the sheet, smoothing it out to see that it was his monthly bank statement. "What did you spend three-hundred and twenty-five dollars on without asking me?!"

"Terri, it was for the glee club! I paid for a quarter page in the yearbook because the Principal was persuaded to not afford them one," Paul fired back, and Terri crossed her arms defiantly. "Why are you poking around in my bank statements?!"

"I thought I had reason to worry, I thought you were leaving me!" she yelled. "I can feel it; you're pulling away from me!"

"Why? Because I'm standing up to you?!" Paul asked of her, and she rolled her eyes. "Because I'm trying to make this a relationship of equals?! Because you do _nothing _to help our marriage, Terri!"

"No, because of the damn glee club!" Terri began, crocodile tears in her eyes. "Ever since you started that _thing _you just walk around like you're better than me!"

"I should be allowed to feel good about myself," Paul yelled, trying to control his anger.

"Oh, who are we kidding?" Terri hissed. "This marriage works because you _don't_ feel good about yourself!"

"This marriage works because I love you," Paul insisted, but they both knew it wasn't entirely the truth.

"You love the girl you met when you were fifteen," Terri corrected as she sat down at the table. "I'm not that girl!"

"You've made yourself a stranger to me," Paul said sullenly. "Are you happy? Are you satisfied?!

"Do you think I wanted you to start obsessing over that club when we got married?!" Terri shot back. "You shouldn't be spending money on kids that aren't going to matter in ten years!"

"Have you ever asked me if I want to start a family?" he asked, and they both knew the answer. "No. You _hate _my parents and siblings, so you refuse to go visit them with me, and I can't go by myself because you have some irrational fear that I'm cheating on you – and it's not exactly like you're the best company in the world! Has it ever occurred to you that maybe these kids are important to me?! Why is it that when I have something that _I _love with people that I care about, you try to ruin it? You don't see me ruining your pottery or your painting, even though you spend thousands on it every damn month!"

"That's different!" Terri spat, turning her nose up. "That's productive!"

"And teaching children isn't?!" Paul asked, and Terri held her hands up as if she had abandoned all hope, and began to walk away. "You know what? Fine."

Paul turned to leave the kitchen and he grabbed his keys off of the coffee table and walked towards the door, but Terri b-lined towards him trying to block his exit. "What are you doing?" she asked as her voice grew panicky.

"I'm leaving," Paul replied sullenly. "I loved you, I really loved you a long time ago, but I've been living like this for almost a year, and I can't do it anymore!"

"Don't go!" Terri pleaded as she latched onto his arm. "Paul, do you remember what we said when we first got married, on our wedding night? We said that no matter what happened, at that moment, we loved each other. We could get that feeling back!"

Paul shook his head at her and he grabbed his jacket off of the coat hooks. "You need a person to torture," he said. "And I'm not going to be that person anymore."

~L~

Paul sat a large duffel bag with a change of clothes in it down on his desk at McKinley High, and piled two pillows on top of it. He looked out of the window in his office and into the choir room to see a stack of mattresses. He made a face and walked into the room and switched on the lights, walking towards the stack to see a note on the mattresses that read, 'Hey, kids! Thanks for all your hard work! -Richard'.

Under normal circumstances, he would've wondered what it was about, but at that moment, he was too tired and disappointed to care.

He pulled the top mattress off of the stack and ripped the plastic off of it before placing it on the ground of his office.

He didn't want to think anymore.

~L~

Ryan was sitting at home in his living room watching TV in complete and utter boredom while his mother and her boyfriend argued themselves into oblivion. Just when he was about to stand up, grab his car keys and leave the house for a quieter but less dull setting, he heard a familiar, high-pitched, obnoxious voice.

"Who says finding a mattress can't be fun?" the voice asked, and as Ryan stood in his living room on the way out the door, he came to a screeching halt and whipped himself around to see a circus of teenagers jumping on beds with a certain sophomore named Casey's voice layered over the music. "At Mattress Land, we have mattresses of all shapes and sizes at prices that won't break your pocket book! No credit? No problem! Mattress Land has a no-hastle financing of twelve point nine percent with no money down and no payments until next year! You'll jump for joy at our prices!"

"Come on down to mattress land!" Ryan heard the rest of that insufferable club cheer, and he considered jumping for joy himself… but for something else.

~L~

"Ryan," he heard a voice begin sternly from the hallways the next day, he turned to see his ex-cheerleader. "We need to talk."

"Oh, I got nothing to say to you, preggo," Ryan snarked as an unfriendly smirk grew on his face.

"The Cheerios photo is tomorrow and I want back on that squad," Sally continued without missing a beat. She had learned in her time at the Junior Cheerios that the trick with Ryan was to not let him sense any form of anger – he would make you feel weak for it.

"Oh, is that what you want? Well, what I wanted was a cheerleader who wasn't going to hoist her legs behind her ears in the back seat of the first station wagon she could jimmy open," Ryan quipped. To be honest, he was thoroughly disappointed when he found out about her situation; she had potential to go places, but she ruined things for herself. "Throwing away any chance she ever had in life."

Sally rolled her eyes. It was a Honda Civic, actually… "It would be good for the school, show everyone that appearances don't matter, sometimes people have to deal with a little adversity." she countered, and followed up with a proverbial punch. "I learned that in glee club."

"Well," Ryan continued with a laugh. "That little education proverb must have slipped from Paul's mouth right after his lesson on how to disqualify yourselves from sectionals."

"What?" Sally snorted disdainfully, but inside, she was growing more and more worried.

"I saw your little commercial last night," Ryan smirked. "Boy, did you glee kids step in it."

~L~

"Paul, I'm afraid Ryan is right," Lassiter said with a frown. "You did indeed step in it!"

"No, I didn't even know this was going on!" Paul tried, and Ryan rolled his eyes.

"Of course you didn't, Paul, I mean, you wouldn't know it if your students were using your office to breed rabbits for pets or for food," he said, most of his argument already planned out. "And you know why? You're too busy chasin' tail and loading your body with enormous amounts of cologne! I mean, today, it just smells like you took a bath in Axe!"

"What are you even talking about?! Look, the kids did the commercial to foster a feeling of unity after you - not anyone else, you - got them banned from the yearbook," Paul said as he stood up and got a little too aggressive. "It was an innocent mistake!"

"And what if I were to just innocently murder you, Paul?! I'd still have to go to trial! I'd probably get off with Justifiable Homicide," Ryan quipped, and Paul sighed in frustration as the teenager bent down to reach for a book of Show Choir rules in his bookbag. "Let me review the rules for ya'…"

"This is crazy," Paul grumbled as he turned to Lassiter, pointing at the Senior.

"Amendment 63, 7th addendum," Ryan read from the book. "No professional activity of any kind will be tolerated, and payment for services rendered negates amateur status triggering immediate disqualification."

Ryan slammed the book into Paul's chest, and he muttered 'hey' at the boy warningly. "Hey... hey _what_ Mister?!"

Keep it simple, folks! Keep it simple," Lassiter attempted to cool down the fight. "I am sorry, Paul, but I cannot let this slide!"

"But the kids weren't even paid!" Paul exclaimed.

"There's a stack of mattresses in the choir room piled as high as the empty cologne bottles in the dumpster outside your apartment!" Ryan claimed, and Paul sighed. He was so done with this punk of a _kid_; he couldn't wait until he graduated.

"Okay, we'll give the mattresses back!" Paul tried to settle the argument, but Ryan had already solved that problem.

"Paul, one of those mattresses was used! You can't return a used mattress," Lassiter intervened. "You can't even donate one to charity - lice, bedbugs! I looked it up online!"

"Is there any reason you have a soiled mattress in your office, Paul?" Ryan questioned, and the only thing Paul wanted to do was hide under a rock. "Have you and the Drama teacher become so sexually depraved that you have to commit your craven acts of adultery in-between classes?"

"What?" Lassiter questioned, barely audible as Paul sat down on the chair exasperatedly.

"You know, okay, fine. I slept here, alright?" Paul admitted, and Lassiter raised his eyebrows, asking, 'excuse me'. "...I'm thinking about leaving my wife."

"Well, I didn't see that one coming at all," Ryan continued sarcastically, not allowing himself to feel bad for the man.

"Paul, I am very sorry about your personal troubles, but my hands are tied," Lassiter patched everything up. "Ryan's right, you broke the rules. I cannot fire the scholastic board! I'm sorry, but glee club is over."

"It's over!" Ryan said, gloating and practically rubbing his face in it before storming out of the room.

~L~

Ryan sat at his desk trying to focus, but he had a hard time managing it. How could he? He had finally gotten Paul Greeby and that glee club out of his hair. It was a day that would live in infamy! Once again, he had won.

"Ryan!" he heard Sally's voice, and he looked up to see her dressed in her red and white Cheerios uniform. He was shell shocked for a split second, but as usual, he bounced back instantly.

"It's like watching a porno star in a nun's habit," Ryan compared the two, and Sally tried to keep her cool.

"I wanted to show you that it still fits," she explained quickly, placing her hands on her hips. "My baby bump isn't that bad, it's just like I had a big lunch."

"Take it off," Ryan said, looking up at her with pity and disdain in his eyes. "You need to get it through your pregnant head that there's no way you're getting in that photo or back on the Cheerios - end of story."

Sally fought of a chuckle as she looked down at her former coach. "You're a hypocrite."

"Excuse me?"

"I just heard that you got glee club amateur status revoked over a _mattress_ while you are constantly showering the Cheerios with swag," Sally pointed out. "I've gotten free shoes, complimentary tanning, haircuts... the season tickets to Cedar Point? We sold them on E-Bay for a profit, and it seems to me that if Lassiter found out, _you _would get banned from competition."

"Fine, you're back on the Cheerios," Ryan promised, but he had found a loophole. "I'll put you on full time dry cleaning duty and shove you to the back of the photo to hide your shame."

"I'm not finished," Sally hissed competitively. "Glee club gets a _full _page photo."

"That's not up to me," Ryan said with a cruel smirk.

"You are giving up one of the Cheerios _six _pages," Sally fumed, her voice growing stronger and more threatening. "And you are giving it to the glee club, free of charge."

"You know, S, I'd forgotten just how ruthless you really are," Ryan said, a backhanded compliment, but nonetheless, she smiled. "You're like a female Ryan Sylvester… now get out of my office, if you can manage to squeeze yourself out of the door without your water breaking all over my new carpet."

Sally turned to leave, but she whipped around to face him with a devious look on her face. He couldn't tell if it irritated him or if the confrontation was devilishly fun.

"You know what? I don't think I wanna be a cheerio after all," she smiled viciously. "I don't want to be a part of a team where I only appear to belong, I'd rather be in a club that's proud to have me, like glee club."

~L~

"It's my fault," Paul said with a sigh as he sat in Kathy's office, venting to her. "If I hadn't slept on that mattress, we could've just returned them and moved on."

"Hey, can I give you some advice?" Kathy asked, and Paul nodded slowly. "You need to give yourself a break, you do. You'll figure out what to do with the kids, you always do, but I think right now you really need to focus on your own life. You know, divorce is a really big deal."

"Who said anything about getting a divorce?" Paul asked as he looked up at Kathy oddly, and her cheeks grew bright red as she looked down in embarrassment.

"...Oh, god, I'm so sorry. I just assumed that that's-" she trailed off into silence, and Paul looked at her seriously.

"Is that what you would do?" He asked helplessly.

"Well, um, when I first heard about all this," Kathy started shakily. _Come on, Kath, put all those scripts you've written to work,_ she thought. "I thought that she was being awful, cruel, a terrible wife, but then, when I thought about it some more, I thought about what I would have done if I'd felt you slipping away…"

"You would never be that cruel," Paul said with a feeble shake of his head.

"No, her methods were wrong," Kathy corrected herself gently. "But I totally understand her intentions. You're a lot to lose, Paul."

They locked eyes and they both wondered what they were going to do when Kathy left for Shaker Heights.

~L~

"But we don't wanna go to sectionals without you!" Noel said sadly as the glee club stood in a huddled group in the choir room.

"It's without me or not at all," Paul tried to reason with his students. He really wanted them to get their chance at sectionals, and they weren't going to get that if he wasn't willing to drop out. "Look, I was the one who slept on the mattress, which means I accepted them, not you. Which means _I'm _disqualified from competition, not you guys."

"He's takin' the bullet for us," Derek spoke up, and the club turned to look at him. "Solid."

"We can't do this without you, Paul," Ralph pleaded. "Hell, we probably can't do it with you."

"That's not true. You guys are good, you're really good! You did Jump for that commercial without me, right?" Paul attempted to raise their confidence. He began to circle the group, and he noticed the pained look on Casey's face as she tried to hold back tears. She felt so guilty – if she hadn't gotten them cast in that commercial, they would've never sent those mattresses. "Look, the best teachers don't give you the answers, they just point the way and let you make your own choices, your own mistakes... that way, you get all the glory, and you deserve it. If you can't win without me there, then I haven't done my job."

"We're really sorry, Paul," Casey said as she tried to gather her senses, refusing to become emotional now.

"I know," Paul replied with a smile on his face. "I want you guys to go get gussied up and take that glee club photo with pride. I wanna see a smile on every one of your faces."

The club dispersed into their separate bathrooms and offices. In the girl's bathroom, Casey brushed her teeth thoroughly, Sandra applied powder to Emily's face while they laughed in excitement, Kendra fixed her hair and applied lipstick, Amy picked lint off of her outfit and Sally walked out of the bathroom stall with her old Cheerios uniform flung over the door, instead wearing a short-sleeved, white dress.

In the boy's bathroom, Max and Sam picked at their hair, Sheldon tied a tie around Noel's neck, and Ralph and Derek lifted weights, Derek making some rather odd faces.

And in his office, Paul folded the black and red tie around his neck underneath his collared shirt, it was a tie Kathy had once complimented, and he grabbed his jacket.

As he got his picture taken, he tried his hardest to smile, and when he got his copy, it said 'Paul Greeby, Computer Glass, Guidance Counselor'. He couldn't help but feel that something was missing. He looked over to Kathy and saw her smiling brightly, he saw Ken, and then he saw _Ryan_, and he flipped to the glee picture. He had watched the kids happily cheer after they had their picture taken.

But while he smiled in return of seeing his students' grinning faces, other teenagers only saw a chance to write 'NO DIRECTIONS' in permanent marker.


	13. Sectionals Pt 1

As a small portion of the glee club sat in the choir room, scattered around the piano, they began to theorize about which teacher they would be stuck with for sectionals.

"I bet we'll get stick with Mister Sinacori as our sectionals advisor," Noel guessed, and Sandra nearly gagged.

"Ugh, the creepy math teacher?" he scowled in disdain.

"He's always singing when he walks down the halls..." Sheldon remarked disdainfully, and the three students exchanged worried looks as Casey bounced through the choir room towards them.

"Hey guys," she began quickly. "Did any of you think it was weird the way that Derek rushed to Sally's aid during rehearsal yesterday?"

Sally had slipped and fallen on the floor, and both Derek and Ralph began asking if it was the baby and if they were supposed to get hot towels. Sally proceeded to angrily shove them off.

"...No?" Emily eyeballed Casey oddly and tried to mask what she already knew.

"He likes her, I mean, they're friends," Noel offered. "We all know that."

"Yeah, but it seemed like more than that," Casey waved the two off, pushing her theory. "I've never told you guys this before, but I'm a little psychic. I can't read minds or anything yet, but I do have a sixth sense. Something is definitely going on there!"

Emily, Sandra, Sheldon and Noel looked at each other hesitantly, and Emily coughed nervously. "Uh, we gotta go..." she mumbled as she headed for the door in a rush.

"But we have to practice!" Casey called helplessly as the four began to leave.

"Oh, and we will," Sheldon assured her. "As soon as Paul names a faculty advisor to replace him."

Casey sighed and called out to her fellow club members, "It's nothing to be scared of!" she tried. "I mean, it's not like a Carrie or anything!"

~L~

"Hey, she's onto it," Emily said worriedly into her cell phone during a call to Sandra.

"I know, it's really freaking me out," Sandra agreed from directly beside her friend.  
"Hold up. Noel's buzzing in, I'm going party line."

"Dudes, this is serious," Noel panicked from across the school, on his way to his next class. "If she finds out, she's going to tell Ralph! She's a total troutmouth."

"Sheldon wants in," Sandra updated the others, and Sheldon's voice rang into the call.

"I say we lock Casey up until after sectionals," Sheldon said smugly. "I volunteer my basement!"

"Babe, we can't, we need her to sing," Emily corrected her boyfriend, and he nearly stomped his foot in outrage.

"Damn her talent!" He exclaimed.

"We just heard," Kendra said from alongside Amy as Sandra added the two into the party-call. "Who told?"

"We assumed it was you," Noel deadpanned as he squinted, and Kendra rolled her eyes exaggeratedly.

"Why would I do that?" she asked incredulously.

"To get back at Derek," Sheldon hissed into his cell phone accusatorily. "Aren't you guys dating?"

"Oral sex is not dating," Kendra grumbled angrily.

"Yeah, if it were, Kendra and I would be dating," Amy chipped in.

Beats of silence in the phone call passed, and Sheldon mentally noted that Emily now owed him twenty dollars.

"...Look, I don't wanna rock the boat," Kendra broke the silence. "Since Sally got pregnant, I'm top dog around here."

"Hold up, Casey's walking by. Hey, hot mama!" Emily enthused to Casey as she strolled past, and she all but stopped dead in her tracks while she eyed the glee clubber confusedly. Something was _definitely _up, and she was going to figure it out. "She's gone. Look, I know I screwed up telling all you guys about Sally and Derek, and I feel really terrible about it, but we cannot let Casey figure this out. If she tells Ralph, he's going to flip!"

"And then we really have no chance at sectionals," Sheldon continued, and each student ended the call nervously.

~L~

"Are you sure about this?" Paul questioned as he sat in Kathy's office, and she nodded eagerly. She wanted to help the kids… help him. "But, you're looking for an apartment with your realtor on Saturday."

"I know, but there will be other Saturdays... and other realtors," Kathy winced as she remembered a rather nasty argument with her realtor. "Really, I wanna do this, Paul; I wanna take the kids to sectionals."

"You know, Kathy," Paul said gently. "I really _am_ gonna miss you when you leave. You've helped the glee club and I so much."

Kathy smiled sadly, "I'm going to miss you, too."

A quiet moment passed between the two, but Paul shook his head to get him out of his thoughts. "I can't thank you enough!" he enthused, and Kathy nodded happily as he left her office with a grateful look in her direction.

~L~

"Hey!" Casey yelped, nervously and loudly as Sally shut her locker. "I know it's not my place, but have you and your doctor run a full genetic test panel on your child? I only ask because my cousin Leon and his wife got pregnant, and then they found out that he was a carrier for Beta-Thalassemia."

"What's that?" Sally asked, pregnancy hormones already making her grow worried.

"It's a genetic disorder, pretty terrible from what I understand, it can cause anemia," Casey explained hurriedly, her eyes wide and looking a little less than sane. "If one of the parents has it, there's like a fifty percent chance that the child has it or something like that. Leon's baby was fine; it was still pretty scary, though."

"My doctor never mentioned that," Sally mumbled, to herself but loud enough for Casey to hear.

"Oh, I'm such an idiot," Casey said quickly, slamming the palm of her hand into her forehead, "They would only run the test if one of the parents was of Mediterranean or Italian decent... only they carry the gene."

"Oh," Sally mumbled, beginning to wonder about Derek's familial roots.

"Okay, I'll see you in rehearsal," Casey said with a smile as she bounced away down the halls.

~L~

"Derek," Sally said quietly as she peered over her shoulder, pulling him aside in the choir room. "Exactly _how _Italian are you?"

"Pretty Italian," Derek replied nonchalantly. "On my mom and dad's side... why?"

"Then you've got to take me to get those Mediterranean-slash-Italian baby tests!" Sally whispered, and Derek's face contorted.

"Is that even a real thing?" he asked, and Sally sighed, tired of all this work having a baby was.

Behind them, Casey feigned reading a book and she saw the two speaking. She was _furious_; she had to hold herself back from mauling them. She was _at least _ninety-five percent sure that her suspicions were right – and she was pretty sure that she had heard the word 'Italian' escape from Sally's mouth.

"I don't want anything to happen to my baby," Sally pleaded desperately, but at that moment, Paul walked in with Kathy at his heels.

"Guys, let's gather around," he said, and the students sat in their seats, looking on sadly. "Well, I have found my replacement. So give it up for Ms. Zeldin."

The class clapped at their sectionals advisor's arrival, and Kathy smiled at her students.

"She cast me as the crazy girlfriend in one of her plays," Amy whispered to Kendra, who held back a snort.

"I don't know what the future holds for me, for us," Paul began, his eyes panning across the faces of his students. "But I know on Saturday, you're gonna make me proud. You guys are gonna be great. So, goodbye for now."

Paul turned to leave, but Emily piped up, "Wait, what about our setlist?"

"I can't help you with that. You've gotta figure that out for yourselves," Paul said with a sad tone in his voice, and he began to walk out the door. "Alright, guys."

"Well, we have to do Proud Mary blindfolded," Noel insisted after their previous coach had left. "That's in."

"And Don't Stop Believin', for sure," Ralph contributed.

"What about the ballad?" Sam reminded his club, and Casey saw an opportunity to seize the spotlight, so she took it. This could be her moment to shine, her moment for the world – or at least one audience – to see her true potential.

"I would be thrilled to contribute a ballad from my repertoire," she said as she stood up, walking to the middle of the room.

"Okay, you know what, Miss Bossy Pants? Enough," Emily said, mustering up as much courage as she could to firmly put her foot _down_. "I've worked just as hard as you, and I'm just as good as you, and you always end up stealing the spotlight!"

"Emily, do you really think you're as strong of a balladier as I am?" Casey asked, as she explained to Kathy how she was an expert at ballads, Emily turned to face Max, mouthing, 'balladier?!' 'I don't know!'

"Okay, um, Casey, why don't you let Emily give it a try?" Kathy tried as kindly as she could, nervous from every story she'd ever heard about the Casey's famous stomp outs, but she nodded in polite agreement, much to Kathy's relief, taking her seat next to Ralph.

"Thanks Ms. Z," Emily said gratefully, and she turned to Tinkles, high on her newfound ability to speak her mind. "Do I even need to tell you what song? Horns, strings, keep up."

The music began slowly, and Emily began to sing, "And I am telling you… I'm not going! You're the best man I'll ever know," as she sang, Casey and Ralph looked at each other for a moment before turning back to Emily's performance. "There's no way I can ever go, no, no, there's no way, no, no, no, no way I'm living without you!"

"I'm not living without you," her voice resonated around the walls, and Sandra smiled widely at her friend as she sang. "I don't wanna be free! I'm staying, I'm staying, and you, you're gonna love me."

"Tear down the mountains, yell, scream and shout it, say what you want, I'm not walkin' out! Stop all the rivers, push, strike and kill, I'm not gonna leave ya', there's no way I will… and I am," Emily closed her eyes as she held the notes, and the club began to cheer and clap at her success, even Casey found herself staring on in amazement. Sheldon looked at her endearingly as he applauded her. "Telling you, I'm not going! I'm not living without you, not living without you, I don't wanna be free! I'm staying, I'm staying! And you, and you, and you, you're gonna love me! Yeah, love me, love me! Love… me!"

As Emily got a standing ovation from her club, Casey rushed up to her as she asked, "Thoughts?"

"It's clear, the room adores you," Casey said with a smile. "And, although it wouldn't be my first choice… I can't wait to see you sing that song at sectionals. You're amazing, Emily, and you deserve it. I'm going to hug you now."

Emily beamed, and her smile lit up the room, "Okay,"

"Okay," Casey agreed, and she wrapped her arms around Emily, and it was as if that cleared up every problem they ever had with each other as they laughed light-heartedly.

The bell rang and the students gathered their things and left the room, but Ralph chased after Casey as she walked out of the choir room. "That was pretty cool in there," he said in admiration. "I know that must've been hard for you."

"It was the right thing to do, I mean," Casey turned towards him. "I wanted to bring the team together."

"Yeah... you know, I gotta be honest, I'm kinda pumped about sectionals," Ralph admitted as he leaned against his locker. "This has been a hard couple of months, with Sally and the baby and everything. I dunno, I really think that winning could make everything good for a while, you know? Is that stupid?"

"It's not stupid at all," Casey rushed with a strange look in her eye that Ralph couldn't place. You never knew what was wrong with her when she was acting oddly.

"Is somethin' up with you?" Ralph asked.

"I want you to be happy, Ralph," Casey began, and she knew that now, there was no getting out of what she was about to do. "And when you care about someone, you can't sit around and watch them suffer when you know you can do something about it."

"W-What are you talking about?"

"I have to tell you something," Casey said sadly.

Just minutes after she had spilled the proverbial beans, Kathy dragged Paul into the choir room, and when he walked in, he saw Ralph with Derek pinned to the floor, punching him as fast as he possibly could. "Get off of him!" Paul yelled as he ran over to the teenagers. "Come on, knock it off!"

Casey stood among the group with her hand over the mouth, trying her best to remain as innocent as possible while her vision shifted between the tears freely flowing from Sally's eyes and the brawl on the floor between the two boys.

Max and Sam held Ralph back after Paul had managed to pry him off of Derek.

"Tell the truth!" Ralph screamed, and Derek scrambled off of the floor.

"He just walked in and sucker punched me!" he yelled, cradling his jaw.

"Don't play dumb," Ralph growled, "You're too freakin' dumb to play dumb!"

Paul tried to keep Ralph at bay as Sally meekly walked a few feet forward, "Who told you this, Ralph?" she choked out.

"Obviously it was Casey!" Sheldon piped up, gesturing towards her, and Casey locked eyes with the floor.

"What?!" she began, nervously and unconvincing. "I didn't do anything!"

"Yeah, it was Casey," Ralph admitted of her, growing calm for a moment. "But I wanna hear it from you; I wanna hear it from both of you."

"Ralph, just calm down!" Paul tried, wanting to avoid as much violence as he could.

"No, they're both lying to me!" Ralph yelled, his throat scratchy and sore. He turned towards Sally, and tried to ignore her crying. "Is it true? Just tell me, is it true?"

"Yes," she muttered, approaching him. "Derek's the father."

"So, all that stuff in the hot tub?" Ralph said, his heartbreak taking form in confusion. "You just made that up?"

"You were stupid enough to buy it!" Derek yelped back at him.

Ralph stared at him for a moment before lunging forward, but Paul blocked him off – he was shocked by the news, having spent so much time trying to help the couple deal with the pregnancy, but he couldn't let it hinder him from keeping his students safe. "I am so sorry..." Sally sobbed, and he looked back at her.

"Screw this. I'm done with you!" he said towards her, and she flinched. "I'm done with- I'm done with all of you!"

Ralph turned on his heel and began to walk out the door, kicking a chair to the side of the room as he left, and Sally all but dissolved into sobs.

~L~

Sally sat on a small indention in the hallway wall that was meant to be a fancy decoration, but had been used by many students as a bench. She wrapped her arms around the bottom of her stomach, and she didn't bother looking up as Casey approached her slowly and tentatively.

"I'm so sorry," she said quietly, her hands tensed in worry at her sides. "I fully understand if you want to beat me up. If you can, just try to avoid my nose."

Casey looked down at Sally for a moment before squinting her eyes shut, and she finally took the time to look at the scared girl in front of her, feeling numb and worthless. "I'm not mad at you," She said flatly, softly. "All you did was do what I wasn't brave enough to do… tell the truth."

Casey hesitantly sat next to her, and they made no eye contact. "I-I was selfish when I told him," she said, stumbling over her words. "I wanted to break you two up so he would wanna be with me."

"And now neither of us have him," Sally mumbled. "I have hurt so many people... can you go now? I just really wanna be alone."

Casey nodded slowly, and despite every dispute that she had ever had with the former cheerleader, she wanted nothing more than to console the girl. But nonetheless, she walked away in respect of her wishes. She saw Derek as she walked back down the halls, and she grabbed his arm before they passed.

"We need to talk," she whispered, keeping too tight of a grip on his arm, but he looked at her somewhat and gulped.

She continued to walk away, but she only stayed just out of earshot while Derek sat down next to Sally.

"Hey," he said slowly as to not further upset her. "So, I know you're upset now, but I wanna let you know that I'm gonna be everything I can to be a good dad to our baby."

"Thanks… but I honestly can't handle _any more _stress in my life right now," Sally insisted, and Derek's face fell. "I'm gonna do this on my own, and I know you don't understand it, but please respect it."

Sally stood up and left to somewhere that she could be alone, even though she didn't know where that was just yet. But when Casey saw Sally walk away from her hiding spot, she ran back to the small makeshift bench, where she saw Derek sitting, looking down at the floor.

"Hi," she said meekly, looking down at him, and he peered up at her. "Y-you know, we'll get through this. Derek- if there's anything you need, I'm here, okay?"

"…You're not mad?" Derek questioned, sitting up straighter.

"No!" Casey assured him, sitting next to him and grabbed his hand experimentally. "Why would I be? I mean, this was all just a big accident."

He stared at her for a moment before realization dawned on him, and he sighed before he broke the news to her. He could've allowed her to go on believing a lie, but he couldn't handle the dishonesty anymore. "Case, I knew it was mine the entire time."

"Excuse me?"

"Sally and I had a thing a while back," he admitted, and he expected nothing short of the apocalypse. But he couldn't lie to her, not about _that_. "I-it was nothing, and I was drunk-"

"How could you not tell me?!" she asked, standing up hurriedly and he looked back up at her, groaning in frustration.

"Casey," he pleaded, burying his face in his hands. "I can't do this with you right now."

"Yeah, well, I _deserve _a few seconds of your time," Casey said, crossing her arms. "I _deserved_ to know about Sally!"

"Pardon me if I didn't want to spew ever detail about what I did with other girls to you!" Derek hissed at her, and Casey's eyes narrowed.

"_You _were the one who was stupid enough to let this happen!" Casey accused, "And it's not like you just made out with her, Derek, you got her _pregnant_! And you didn't just conveniently forget to tell me, but you didn't tell Ralph! He's your best friend! And if you aren't decent enough to tell him, how can I expect you to ever tell me the truth about anything?"

Derek leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees, the palms of his hands on his forehead. As much as he didn't want to admit it, she was right; he should've told Ralph first out of all people, but it wasn't right to keep it from her either.

"I'm sorry," he said, feeling ashamed of himself. "You're right, okay? But Sally was shutting me out! I want to be a good dad to my kid, despite what a lot of people think, and I can't do that if she completely blocks me out of her life because I told everyone."

"That doesn't matter! You should've taken responsibility for your actions!" Casey yelled, shaking her head at him. She had grown to trust Derek, and she had grown to like him more than she probably should have, and she felt that her trust in him had been violated.

Derek stood up to leave, because he couldn't explain to her how much he tried to be responsible, and he was tired.

"Where are you going?!" Casey called after him.

"I don't know yet," Derek replied as he walked away, and Casey stared as he walked away, plopping back down on the bench.

~L~

The kids climbed onto the bus, but they didn't take their seats, instead they stood on the side of the bus closest to their teachers and watched them talk.

"So, the competition starts at eleven," Paul said for what felt like the millionth time. "And I'll have my cell phone on."

"Right, I know, you already told me," Kathy reminded him. "Three times. And then you wrote it down."

Paul smiled, but before he got the chance to say anything, Tinker Tomlin jogged up to them. "Reporting for duty, Paul," He said. "I have to tell you, I get terrible public event anxiety."

"You know what, Tinker, it's okay, we just need a twelfth member, so just sway in the back," Kathy said supportively. "You don't even have to sing."

"Yeah," Paul seconded. "Don't even sing."

Tinker nodded in understanding and ran up to the bus to see eleven teenagers with their faces in the windows.

"Thank god," Paul sighed in relief, and Kathy had to restrain a giggle.

"So, um... still no word from Ralph?" she questioned, and Paul began to shake his head sadly.

"No," he replied quickly. "I can't thank you enough."

Kathy smiled as she walked away and into the bus, and the kids started to take their seats. Tinker sat down next to Casey, and he placed an arm around her shoulders comfortingly, but she shrugged him off as though he was an unwanted, slimy worm.

~L~

"Okay, so, smooth sailing so far!" Kathy enthused as the New Directions sat on and around a couch in the lobby. "We're all signed in, and according to the program, you have drawn performance slot number three."

"We're going last?" Sam asked worriedly. "Isn't that bad?"

"Hardly, this is good news," Casey said happily, taking it upon herself to cheer up the team. "My extensive auditioning for community theatre has taught me that we either wanna go first or last. If we're first, then everyone has to measure up to us, and if we're last, then we're the freshest in the judge's minds."

"And did you ever get any of those parts?" Sheldon snarked, and Casey sighed.

"Well, one of them!" She tried, and Sheldon rolled his eyes.

"I'm with Casey on this," Kathy attempted to go along with her student's plan. "The glass is definitely half full of some very good things right now."

"Yeah, Ms. Zeldin's right," Emily agreed with a smile. "I mean, we're here now, right? No reason not to go in with some positive mojo."

"Right! Right, right," Kathy spluttered nervously as she looked around, and Casey took her seat next to Sally, and farther away from Derek.

When Derek left for a moment because he realized that he couldn't find his wallet, Casey tried to make conversation with the girl next to her.

"I can't believe what he did to you," she began quietly, and Sally looked over at her. "I mean, he let Ralph take the blame for his mistake, he didn't even _try _to help or take responsibility."

"Oh, he did," Sally corrected her. "He tried to give me money, baby books, support… but I was just too stubborn and _stupid _to take it. He's a good guy, Casey, don't forget that. It's me that made the mistake, all those times he tried to get me to tell the truth, and I didn't listen."

Sally stared on blankly as Derek walked back with his wallet in tow, explaining that he had left it at the pretzel stand. Casey looked at him and realized that not just Sally had made a mistake.

~L~

"And you, and you, and you," one girl from the Jane Addams Academy sang as the rest of the club danced behind her. "You're gonna love me!"

Casey sat next to a very upset looking Emily, and she leaned towards her, "It's a really popular song," she tried to comfort the girl, but to no avail.

But what really took the cake was the large group of girls all blindfolded, singing Proud Mary.

~L~

In the green room, things weren't going well.

"We've got a problem!" Kathy said, her voice panicky as she spoke with Paul over the phone. "They're doing all of our numbers, the kids are completely freaking out, Noel keeps ramming himself into the wall, and I'm pretty sure Tinker Tomlin just wet himself!"

"I knew it!" Paul growled as he sat in the choir room back at William McKinley. "Ryan leaked the setlist!"

"P-Paul, these kids need a leader right now," Kathy said nervously.

"Just hold tight, I know what to do," Paul assured her, and she nodded in spite of the fact that he couldn't see her, and she hung up.

Back in London, Ohio, Paul walked out of the choir room and down the empty hallway when he unexpectedly saw Ryan stroll past the choir room. "Ryan! What kind of coach are you?!"

"Hey, buddy," Ryan cheered as he turned around to face the older man. "I just came by to water my venus flytrap."

"You leaked the setlist," Paul hissed. "And you are _not _going to get away with it!"

"That is a libelous accusation and I insist you retract it immediately," Ryan said calmly, and Paul rolled his eyes, all attempts of acting professional with this ridiculously power-hungry child called off. "You have no proof."

"No proof?!" he yelled. "You are the only person who had the list!"

"But other than that, you have no proof," Ryan said, poking a finger into his chest. "It's time to face facts, Paul; at one PM this afternoon, your little club will have had its shot at the big time, and they will have failed. Glee club will be canceled, and all that money Lassie has been funding into your budget will finally and rightfully be restored to mine."

Paul shook his head in disbelief – how could this have gone on so long?

"You have crossed the line," Paul said, his voice trembling with anger. "I am not going to sit idly by anymore! I am going to _expose _you for the fraud that you have become."

"Bring it on, Paul," Ryan laughed. "I am reasonably confident that you will be adding revenge to the long list of things you're no good at - right next to being married-"

"Don't," Paul said, blinking slowly at the struck chord.

"Running a high school glee club, and finding cologne that doesn't make you smell like a desperate freshman in high school," Ryan continued without a beat, and then he placed a hand on Paul's shoulder. "Love ya' like a brother."

"Get your hands off me," Paul demanded, brushing his hand away, but then the teenager retaliated by shoving the teacher backwards.

"You're not gonna push a kid, are ya'?" Ryan challenged, and Paul scowled at him, but did nothing. "I didn't think so."

Ryan turned to leave, and Paul shook his head angrily. But he pushed the thoughts out of his head – he had to act fast if his club was going to succeed.

~L~

Paul walked into the locker room with his keys in his hand and saw Ralph emptying his locker. "Hey, Ralph," he said, and the boy turned to look at him. "I just called your mom; she told me you'd be here."

"Yeah, you know, hockey season ended, so I'm just cleaning out my things," Ralph explained, and Paul walked forward.

"Sounds like something that could've waited until Monday,"

"...Have you heard anything?"

"Yeah, it's pretty bad," Paul informed him, and a silence passed between the two before he continued. "I _can't_ be there-"

"And I can?" Ralph asked angrily, dwelling on things. "I can't even be in the same room as her without crying like a girl, I can't look at him without wanting to punch his face off."

Paul was tired, very tired, and so he decided to tell his student the truth.

"Look, I don't have any more pep talks, Ralph," he said. "I know how you must feel. All I know is that, between you and me, I don't think that they can win without you."

"But that's not fair!" Ralph cried. "Why does it always have to come down to me, why do I always have to be the bigger man?"

"Because sometimes," Paul tried to explain as he sat down on the bench. "Being special sucks."

"I just want everything to be like it- like it never happened, you know?" Ralph confided in his teacher, who sat his keys down on the bench.

"Well, Ralph, you can't always get what you want," Paul said, and Ralph nodded very slowly. "Listen, I'll be in the choir room."

Paul stood and headed for the door when Ralph spotted his keys still resting on the bench, and he grabbed them. "Oh, Paul, you forgot your keys."

"No, I didn't!" Paul denied as he walked away, and Ralph peered down at the keys in his hand…

~L~

"Nope! Your money's no good here," Mister Rumba said to Ms. Hitchens at the pretzel stand after the Jane Addams girls had performed. "I'm buying celebratory giant pretzels."

"I don't feel much like celebrating," Ms. Hitchens confessed with a half-hearted laugh.

"Why not?" Mister Rumba asked as one of the employees handed them drinks and pretzels. "One of us is gonna take this thing."

"Hi, nice set list," the two were surprised by Kathy as the turned around after paying for the snacks. "Of course, I haven't heard your deaf kids perform yet, but I hear they're singing Don't Stop Believing?"

"Um, who are you?" Ms. Hitchens asked, looking at her oddly.

"I'm sorry, let me introduce myself," Kathy said shortly as she stood with her hands interlocked in front of her. "I'm Kathy Zeldin; I'm the faculty advisor for the McKinley High-School Glee Club."

"Oh, what happened to the guy who hosted the scrimmage?" Ms. Hitchens asked, but Kathy disregarded her question and hopped directly onto her soap box.

"You should be ashamed, aren't you ashamed? You're educators! Actually, no, you know what? You're more than that, you take care of disadvantaged kids, and you're teaching them that the only way they can compete in this world is by cheating," Kathy said in disgust for the two. "I'm sorry, but what kind of message is that?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Mister Rumba lied. "Don't Stop Believing is the most downloaded song in the history of iTunes, I've only got one good ear, and even I know that! Scarlet fever!"

"Right, and Proud Mary? Blindfolded?" Kathy challenged as she turned to Ms. Hitchens.

"Do you have any idea how much winning is going to mean to my girls?" Ms. Hitchens defended her actions, but her confidence façade was slipping. "It's gonna be a life changer; make them feel like they're worth something again."

"I'm sorry, do you think they're not gonna know that something's up – the fact that you just _magically _came up with two new numbers days before competition?" Kathy asked, and Ms. Hitchens sighed.

"They were great up there," Ms. Hitchens attempted. "That's all I know."

"I think what we have here is a case of deaf racism!" Mister Rumba exclaimed, and Kathy fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Shame on you!"

"No, you know what the real shame is?" She said, her eyes moving between both of them. "It's that maybe if you believed in them just a little bit more, they would've been amazing up there… without cheating."

~L~

"Don't stop believin'! Hold on to that feelin'!" the Haverbrook students sang, and in the audience, Amy waved to them, but Noel smacked her arm. "Street light people!"

Casey saw a man in the seat below her wiping his eyes with a handkerchief, and her jaw fell open before she stood up in outrage, her hands balled into fists. "Meeting in the green room in five minutes!"

~L~

"You leaked the setlist!" Sheldon accused of Kendra and Amy as they all gathered in the green room. "You don't wanna be here; you're just Ryan Sylvester's little moles!"

"I know for a fact that's true, Ryan asked us to spy for him," Sally informed the group as she walked in, and Kendra gaped at her.

"Look, we may still be Cheerios, but neither of us ever gave Ryan the setlist!" Kendra defended herself and Amy, who squirmed slightly.

"Well, I did, b-but I didn't know what he was gonna do with it," she said, and Kendra sighed and walked up to the front of the room.

"Okay, look, believe what you want, but no one's forcing me to be here. If you ever tell anyone this, I'll deny it, but I like being in glee club," Kendra said, and after several blank stares, she continued. "It's the best part of my day, okay? I wasn't gonna go and mess it up."

Kendra moved to the other side of the room and sat down on one of the large chairs next to Casey.

"I believe you," she said, and she decided that she was the only one who was going to be able to lead this group without Ralph there. "Okay, guys, there's no point in us arguing any more; we have to go on in an hour!"

"And we have no songs," Sam said blankly, his head resting on his hands.

"Perhaps I could improvise some of my def poetry jams?" Noel suggested, and several others shook their heads. "No?"

"No," Sam said.

"No, okay, we're going to do this the right way," Casey insisted, and she turned towards Emily. "Let's start with a ballad. Em, do you have anything else in your repertoire?"

"Yeah, but it's not as good as anything you're gonna sing," Emily said, and though she had already decided this when she saw the Jane Addams girls sing the song, she still sounded upset.

"No, no, we agreed-"

"We agreed that I would sing And I'm Telling You, and that isn't happening," Emily said as she stood up from her seat. "Look, Casey, the truth is you're the best singer that we've got."

"As much as it hurts me to admit it - and it does – Em is right," Sheldon winked at Casey playfully. "Casey's our star, if anyone's gonna go belt it on the fly, it should be her."

Casey tried to hold back her beaming as she spoke, "Well, I do have something that I've been working on since I was four."

Emily smiled at her, because that was, without a doubt, the Casey that had been missing all day in the stress of so many different things.

"Then I guess we have our ballad," Sally said. "And we can close with Somebody to Love, it's a real crowd pleaser."

"Yeah, that and a can of soup will guarantee us third place," Derek hissed grouchily. "We still need another song we can all sing together."

But out of nowhere, Ralph walked in wearing his McKinley High jacket and holding twelve pieces of paper. "I have one," he said as he held up the paper. "I found the sheet music online, I used the Cheerios copier to make copies, and then I trashed the thing. Max, Sandra, Amy, Kendra, you're our best dancers. Figure something out and we'll all follow your lead."

"It's gonna be choppy," Max warned him, but Ralph shrugged.

"Good, we're best when we're loose," he said confidently, but he was shaking in his shoes. The four gathered together and began to work on some choreography. "Look, all we have going for us is that we believe in ourselves and what we're singing about. If we can show the judges that, we might have a shot at this thing."

"It's good to have you back, Ralph," Casey said with a smile and a nod.

"Cool if I take my spot back?" Ralph asked of Tinker, and he nodded in rapid speed.

"Quite," he assured him. "I was just here because I was hoping to get into Casey's pants."

Casey rolled her eyes and tried to fight the blush invading her cheeks. She watched Derek approach Ralph, holding his hand out in a gesture of a hug.

"We cool, dude?" Derek asked, and after several moments of staring at him, Ralph spoke up.

"No," he hissed, and Derek's shoulders slumped as he lowered his hand.

"Ralph, I-" Sally began, but he gave her the cold shoulder, turning towards Casey and walking up to her.

"You okay?" she asked quietly, the conversation remaining only between the two of them.

"Don't worry about me, okay? This is all up to you now," Ralph said truthfully, but supportively. "You wanted the solo, you wanted the chance be the star… this is your chance. Don't screw it up."

They smiled at each other… the show must go on.

~L~


	14. Sectionals Pt 2

Casey pulled out her phone and bit her lip. She wasn't sure how she felt about Derek at the moment. She couldn't stop thinking about what Sally had told her, about how disappointed in himself he'd seemed, and also how angry _she_ was that he hadn't told her the truth. But what they needed right now was to be a team, and after the chilly reception Ralph had just given him, she knew Derek needed something to cheer him up. She looked over to the other side of the room and watched him for a moment. His head was down, and he seemed to be listening to the plans Max and the other choreographers were making. But he looked a little sad. She opened a text message and typed out, "Hey sexy, break a leg out there…we can do this!" They hadn't sexted in awhile, but she hoped it would make him smile.

It did. He flipped open his phone, read the message, and looked up to find her in the crowded green room. Their eyes met, and he beamed at her for a moment before turning his attention back to the choreographers. She sighed with relief. They would have a lot to talk about later.

Casey moved across the room and joined in the dance planning. She was so ready for this. She wasn't even nervous. Well, barely.

Ralph, on the other hand, was sweating buckets. On the drive over he'd been sure that trying to perform with Derek and Sally would be a mistake. And once he was in the room, he was in no mood for quick fixes. He and Derek would have to work things out another time, if ever. Right now, they had to concentrate on being the best glee club they could be, and that all depended on Ralph putting aside his anger for awhile. Just _looking_ at Casey helped calm him down. He saw her text something and then exchange a smile with Derek. He checked his phone, but the text obviously hadn't been meant for him.

How had this happened? Two months ago, he had Sally and Casey practically fighting over him. Now, _neither_ of them wanted him.

And to be honest, he didn't want them at the moment, either. Sally for being a backstabbing whore and Casey for being another stupid girl to fall for Derek's charms.

But he had to admit Casey and Derek had something real between them, maybe something as real as he and Sally had once had, before all the…baby stuff.

He glanced around the room at his friends. No matter what happened, if he stuck with them, he could get through this. No more quitting glee. He loved it, he loved the people in it (well, most of them), and he was good at it. What more could he ask for?

~L~

As the glee club was rehearsing, Kathy was on the phone with Paul.

"Are they nervous? Has it started?" he asked, a catch in his voice. Kathy's heart broke for him. He _so_ wanted to be there.

Kathy watched the emcee strut to the middle of the stage.

"Showtime." She kept the phone on, and Paul listened to the emcee announce the final team…

"McKinley High's New Directions!" he boomed into the microphone.

Casey waited in the wings at the rear of the theater, her heart pounding. This was it. The moment she'd been waiting for her whole life. Her mom and Lizzie were in the audience, as was her soon-to-be stepfamily. She had to be better than she'd ever been. At least she was singing a song she knew so well, her mother had banned the CD from the house.

The opening bars of "Don't Rain on My Parade" began.

She thrust open the curtain and stepped out into the auditorium. "Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter. Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter…" she began.

She couldn't quite put Barbra's "buttah" spin on it, but she was making the song her own, and so far, she knew it was her best work yet. Every eye in the auditorium had turned to look at her.

"Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade!" She descended the stairs, stepping out into the aisle. "Don't tell me not to fly, I've simply go to! If someone takes a spill it's me and not you! Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade?!"

Paul was listening through the phone, and he liked what he heard. Kathy held the phone up higher, following Casey's crystal clear voice as she walked up the aisle towards the stage, growing more confident with each step.

The music tempo picked up, and Casey's steps got livelier as well. "I'm marching my band out, I'm beating my drum! And if I'm fanned out, your turn at bat, sir, at least I didn't fake it. Hat, sir! I guess I didn't make it…" As she sang she bent over towards Tinker in the audience, and he swooned as she touched his head on the word "hat." Hopefully that bit of attention was enough to keep him away from her for a few weeks.

"But whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection, a freckle on the nose of life's complexion, the cinder, or the shiny apple of its eye…"

She danced up and down the aisle and belted, "I gotta fly once, I gotta try once! Only can die once, right, sir? Oh, life is juicy, juicy and you see, I gotta have my bite, sir!"

Finally on the stage, she spun a few times and reveled in the elation she felt. This was what she'd been born to do, and although she knew she'd been a pain, she had to thank her glee club friends for this chance. She was going to spend the rest of the year trying to make it up to them.

"Get ready for me, love, 'cause I'm a comer!" As she sang, she thought briefly of Ralph, and then Derek. If she had to choose, a week ago she would have picked Ralph without blinking. But she had a feeling something would have been holding her back. She loved being Ralph's friend, and kissing him had been great, but she just didn't have the same passion for him that she had for Derek. He was on her mind constantly, and when they'd started their flirty texts, it had been exhilarating. Her heart beat faster for Derek than it ever had with Ralph.

But then there was the baby issue. She had been willing to be with Ralph when he was having a child…why should it be any different with Derek? Because he had lied? She had a nagging feeling that she may have done the same thing in his position. And Sally had been very clear that it was never Derek who had shirked his responsibilities as a father. Sally was the one who didn't want him. Well, _someone_ wanted him. And Casey was a little scared to admit that that someone was her.

She took a deep breath, raising her arms theatrically. "Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade!"

She paced back and forth across the stage, putting everything she had into the lyrics. "I'm gonna live and live now! Get what I want, I know how! One roll for the whole shebang, one throw, that bell will go clang! Eye on the target, and wham! One shot, one gunshot, and _bam_!" She gazed out over the audience, and her eyes connected with Ms. Zeldin. She was holding her cell phone by her head and beaming. Suddenly Casey realized that Paul was there, in voice if not in body. She needed to finish this perfectly for him. He had done so much for her these last few months, and he couldn't even be around to help celebrate their impending victory.

"I'll march my band out…" _This is for you, Paul_, she thought, as on that note the rest of the club emerged from the wings and headed down the aisles. The auditorium erupted with cheers as the perfectly synchronized moment played out.

"I'll beat my drum…"

The other eleven members of glee strode purposefully towards the stage.

"And if I'm fanned out…" she pointed to Ralph. "Your turn at bat, sir!" She pointed towards the other aisle at Derek. "At least I didn't fake it! Hat, sir!"

She brought her arms to her sides. "I guess I didn't make it! Get ready for me, love, 'cause I'm a comer!" The members climbed the stairs and began joining Casey on stage. "I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer!" They took their places on the risers behind her. "Nobody, no, nobody…is gonna…rain on my…" she held the syllable. "Pa…" She steeled herself for the last note. "…raaaaade!" She brought the house down, still holding the last note as the auditorium erupted into vigorous applause.

And then…they were _standing_! Her first standing ovation! She glanced back at her friends, who all wore exuberant smiles. For once, they were all celebrating her success, together. It felt _great_.

Quickly catching her breath, she announced, "Ladies and gentlemen…New Directions!"

There was more cheering, but she had no more time to revel in it. They were about to start their second number.

The audience sat as the song began. "You can't always get what you want," the twelve members harmonized as Casey moved to stand alongside her friends on the risers.

"You can't always get what you want…but if you try sometimes, you'll find…you get what you need…" The members began slapping their palms to their thighs with the beat. "Oh…"

Their voices blended as beautifully as they always did, and though the choreography was simple, it was difficult to tell that it had been thrown together only minutes before. Kathy nodded her head along with the lyrics, heart swelling with pride. She wished she could be sitting next to Paul. She checked that he was still listening, and he confirmed he was. "I'm so proud of them," he said, and Kathy agreed.

Ralph began his solo, strutting towards the front of the stage. "I saw her today at the reception, a glass of wine in her hand. I knew she was gonna meet her connection. At her feet was a footloose man…" he gazed out at the audience, who was responding positively to the song. He felt like he was in the middle of a dream. Casey had been amazing, but this was _his_ turn to shine. He was going to make the most of it. He winked at his grandma in the second row, and she waved in happy surprise. (She had come to support the glee club, not realizing Ralph had decided to sing after all.) He turned to rejoin the group for the refrain.

"No, you can't always get what you want…"

"Oh, no, no…" Ralph crooned over the chorus. He smiled at Casey as he passed by her, and he was relieved to see her smile back. Maybe they were going to stay good friends.

"You can't always get what you want…but if you try sometimes," they raised their hands to the sky and spun, "Well, you just mind find…" Each guy grabbed a girl and did a little dance with her. Then it was Emily's turn in the spotlight.

"Hey, hey, yeahhh…" she belted out, smiling around at the people on the stage with her. "And I went down to the demonstration, to get my fair share of abuse…"

"Singin' we're gonna vent our frustration. If we don't we're gonna blow a fifty amp fuse," Ralph and Casey joined in with their perfectly synchronized voices. Emily didn't doubt her talent for a second, but she had to admit, Ralph and Casey deserved the duet. They sounded beautiful together. As the two danced, Emily reached out her fingers to Sheldon and they touched hands briefly, sharing a smile. One of these days he would get the solo he deserved. She knew he was being patient. Maybe he'd get his chance at regionals. Because they _so_ had this in the bag…right?

"Sing it to me now…you can't always get what you want…"

In the audience, the Jane Addams principal, Ms. Hitchens, shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She hadn't been expecting New Directions to pull together such great numbers in such a short time. Maybe they deserved to win, on sheer courage alone. But she also couldn't deny their powerhouse talent.

"No, no! No, no!" Noel crooned as the chorus continued.

"No, no, no!" Emily answered back as the others pointed their fingers at the audience, who was, incidentally, up out of their seats and practically dancing in the aisles.

"You can't always get what you want…but if you try sometimes…well, you just might find…"

New Directions huddled close together on the stage. "…you get what you need!" They burst apart, raising their arms and dancing, free and loose, like at their best rehearsals.

"You can't always get what you want," they repeated over and over. Kathy could hear Paul crying happily through the phone. "Yes!" he crowed as Emily belted out another round of "Yeah, yeah…" that blended perfectly with the others' chants.

"Get what you need! Oh, yeah! What you need!" For the final lines, all twelve members stepped to the front of the stage and stood in a line facing the audience. "What you need, yeah!" Their foot movements stopped at exactly the same time, and they stared out across the auditorium, raising their arms and crying, "What you need!" as Emily layered a "Yeah, yeah!" over it that rang out just as strongly as the voices of the eleven other singers.

They brought their hands to their sides in unison, and lowered their heads to signal the end of the song. The audience cheered so loudly Casey was afraid her eardrums were exploding. She beamed at Ralph, who was standing next to her, and he wore an identical grin. Everyone else was smiling wildly as well.

~L~

In the sectionals judging room, the three judges sat around a table, each looking crankier than the last. It was 12:15 p.m.

"Okay, I'm just going to come out and say it," Candace Dystra, fifth runner-up for Miss Ohio 2006, whined nasally. "This is a singing competition. I don't know how those deaf kids got in. They weren't singing, they were, like, honking. Everyone was crying, and I was like, 'get off the stage, you're terrible, and you're making me super uncomfortable.'"

"Now, hold on just a second, Candy," Rod Remington, WOHN-TV co-anchor and self-proclaimed Ohio legend, chided. "Those Haverhurst kids twice had me reaching for my handkerchief. And those Jane Addams girls had it going on in all the right places."

Candy wrinkled her nose.

"Can I just say something?" Donna Landries, Ohio Vice Comptroller and state-paid cynic, spoke up. "I have no idea what the hell I'm doing here. I'm serious. I don't understand what a glee club is, and I have never even heard the term 'show choir' until about three hours ago, when my boss told me he had tickets to NASCAR, and I had to fill in at this fool event." She tossed her head and sat back, arms folded. Rod's forehead creased.

Outside the room, New Directions was listening at the door. They knew it wasn't allowed, but they couldn't help it. Despite the fact that they had rocked the house, the judges seemed tough. And from what they heard so far, they were less than qualified to be judges in the first place.

"And those Jane Addam girls," Donna continued angrily, "I'll be damned if I didn't apportion hundreds of thousands of taxpayers' dollars to that school so they can parade their behinds around like a buncha…hoochie-hos!" She glared at Rod, who shrugged.

"The McKinley group was good," Candy offered, oblivious to everything Donna had just said. She was flipping through a magazine. "They didn't seem all that rehearsed, but I liked their energy."

Rod nodded. "Well, I have to admit I have a soft spot for The Rolling Stones. I was at Altamont Speedway in '69. I actually saw that guy get stabbed. Can't get that image out of my noggin to this day." He tapped his head.

The other two judges had no reaction, and Rod's face fell.

"I seriously don't know what either one of you are talking about," Donna huffed. "I have never been so bored. I mean, if I had to pick a group that I hated the least…"

Out in the hall, Noel backed away from the door, where he had been holding up a glass, trying to hear the verdict . "It doesn't sound good, guys," he groaned.

Before anyone could comment, Ms. Hitchens turned the corner and spotted them outside the judging room. "Hey guys," she said kindly, and the glee members looked at her in surprise. "I just wanted to say how great you all were," she smiled. "I thought you were amazing."

Casey folded her arms. "We have nothing to say to you." The other members were glaring at her, arms also folded.

"Because we cheated, I know. I feel terrible about it. So I'm going to tell the judges right now that we don't deserve to win." It killed her to do that to her girls, but right was right.

New Directions stepped aside to let her pass, watching her uneasily.

As Ms. Hitchens reached for the doorknob, the door opened and the three judges stepped out. "So, your email addresses?" Rod was saying.

Candy spotted the glee members. "Ooh, you guys were so much fun to watch!" she squealed. "You should be very proud."

As they began to thank her, Donna pushed past Candy and grouched, "Get me the hell out of here!" She pulled Candy with her, and Ms. Hitchens grabbed Rod's arm.

"Um, excuse me, I have something I need to tell you—" she began.

"I'm sorry, we've made our decision," Rod replied firmly. He followed Candy and Donna down the hall, but not before looking the shapely Ms. Hitchens up and down creepily.

The glee members' faces fell. Ms. Hitchens turned to them and told them she was sorry.

But it was too late for apologies.

~L~

Paul hung up with Kathy after New Directions finished "Somebody to Love" and headed straight for his lawyer's office on foot. Ralph still had his car, but he needed to do this while he had the courage. No matter what happened with his kids, they had done a phenomenal job at sectionals. He had done everything he could for them. Now it was time to take care of himself.

The consultation didn't take long, and he walked out with divorce papers. It hurt, it did, and Terri would be royally pissed, but he had had enough. He deserved someone who loved him.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out to reveal a text from Kathy. It read: _Sectionals over. Going house-hunting now._

Paul desperately wanted to ask who had won, but he knew that he couldn't take it away from his kids to tell him.

_Good luck_, he texted back.

_My last day at McK is Monday_, Kathy replied. She hadn't been able to tell him that earlier. It would have been too hard to say face-to-face.

Paul gasped. _No. Stay – I just left my wife._

It was Kathy's turn to gasp as she read his reply. _I'm sorry, I can't_, she texted, and then turned off her phone. She hadn't been expecting that. But…he had written the exact reason why she couldn't stay and keep mooning over him. He _just_ left his wife. They were both so vulnerable. It would not be a good idea for her to go back to that school and expect him to fall at her feet. She couldn't do that to him, and she couldn't do it to herself.

~L~

At school on Monday, Lassiter was holding his umpteenth meeting with Paul and The Fridge. "Ryan," he sighed, exasperated. "The directors, both from the Jane Addams Academy, and the Haverbrook School for the Deaf, have informed me that you gave them the New Directions set list."

Ryan leaned back in his seat and grinned. "You have no proof."

Lassiter pointed a finger at him. "The set lists were on Cheerios letterhead," he said smugly.

"I didn't do it," Ryan shrugged.

"They say, 'From the desk of Ryan Sylvester'."

"Circumstantial evidence."

"They're written in your handwriting!" Lassiter cried.

"Forgeries!"

Paul looked at Ryan in disbelief. He was not going down without a fight. Paul should have known it wouldn't be that easy.

"Ryan, there is an orgy of evidence stacked against you," Lassiter said firmly.

"Well, you've clearly made up your mind not to be impartial in this case, so let's see if you can't wrap up this little lecture, slap me on the wrist, and let me get back to whipping my squad of champions into shape." He stood up and began walking towards the door. "We have to be in Albuquerque in a couple of weeks for nationals."

"RYAN!"

Lassiter's outburst made Ryan stop in his tracks.

"Sit! Down!"

Ryan curled his lip and returned to his seat. He was too smart to directly disobey a superior, no matter how much he hated to do it.

"Ryan, as of today, you are no longer coach of the Junior Cheerios."

Ryan sat up straight. "I beg your pardon?"

Lassiter repeated his statement. Paul looked over at him, trying not to smirk.

"I beg your pardon!" Ryan hissed through clenched teeth.

"All this time, I thought—"

"I _beg_ your _pardon_?!" Ryan thundered.

"I thought," Lassiter continued, ignoring Ryan's fury, "that Paul was overreacting. And frankly, I was too willing to look past your monkeyshines because you kept winning. But now you've gone too far! You have embarrassed yourself, and besmirched the name of William McKinley!"

"A failed president!" Ryan howled.

"Oh, please! The greatest one who ever lived!" Lassiter shot back. "You are suspended as of today." He looked at Paul. "Anything to add?"

Paul smiled sadly at Ryan. As great as it felt to finally be vindicated, and as horrible as Ryan was, deep down he was just a troubled kid, taking his problems out on everyone else. "I think some counseling might be in order. I know a great family therapist I can recommend."

"Fine. And principal-ordered counseling sessions. My word is official."

Ryan scowled at both men. "Okay, if this is the way you want to play it." He suddenly got very calm. "Okay." With a frustrated glance at Paul, and a shake of the head at Lassiter, Ryan exited the office with his hands in his pockets and his head down.

Paul stood up, ready to put the whole messy Ryan vs. Glee business behind him.

"Hey Paul, in light of Ryan's interference, I am reinstating you as coach of the glee club," Lassiter told him before he could leave. "I called the Ohio Show Choir Governing Board and set the record straight."

Paul heaved a huge sigh of relief. "Thank you, sir." He shook Lassiter's hand.

"My pleasure. We'll get that Ryan kid figured out before he graduates, huh?"

Paul shrugged. "I hope so."

The bell rang, and Paul left the office with a spring in his step.

~L~

"We have a few things we'd like to show you," Ralph announced as Paul arrived for glee rehearsal that afternoon. Nothing in any of the twelve faces before him gave away their emotions. "First…" Ralph and the others stepped aside to reveal Noel, who was holding the gigantic…sectionals trophy!

"Ta da!" the glee members cried.

"Ah, haha! Yeah!" Paul clapped his hands and whooped. Noel handed him the trophy as everyone applauded and laughed. "I am _so_ proud of you guys," he beamed. "You won, fair and square."

"The result was unanimous," Casey added. "The judges didn't even know what went on behind the scenes."

"Congratulations!" Paul pulled her into a hug, and motioned for everyone else to join in. After their group hug, Paul sighed happily. "Of course, now, you know we have to concentrate on regionals. You can bet Vocal Adrenaline is hard at work, so we should be too."

"And we'll get to work," Ralph replied, "but we have something else for you." Ralph stepped over to a table in the corner, where he motioned to a sheet cake with "Congratulations, New Directions!" written on it in yellow icing. "It's from Casey and Derek's parents," he said.

"Ralph—" Casey began to correct him, cheeks burning. The last thing she wanted at this happy moment was a reminder of her familial relationship with Derek.

"_Casey's_ mom and _my_ dad," Derek interrupted irritably.

Ralph shrugged, not meeting Derek's eyes. "Yeah, that's what I meant."

Paul winced. It looked like Derek and Ralph were pretty far from reconciliation, not that he could blame Ralph. "Either way, this was really nice of them," he said firmly. "Let's eat!" He made a mental note to schedule guidance appointments for Derek and Ralph as soon as possible.

Everyone gathered around the table, laughing and joking.

Ralph pulled Casey aside. "Sorry about that, Case."

She shrugged. "That's okay. It's something I'll have to get used to hearing. Derek's dad _is_ going to be one of my parents soon."

"Are you two…?" he couldn't quite bring himself to ask the question.

Casey blushed and stared over at Derek, who was serving Sam and Noel their slices, laughing with them about something or other. "I think so," she whispered.

Ralph patted her back. "He's not my favorite person right now, but I'm happy for you. Friends?"

Casey smiled. "Of course." She paused. "Do you think…do you think you'll ever forgive him?"

Ralph shuffled his feet, taking his time on the answer. "I honestly don't know," he finally said.

"Fair enough." She wished that wasn't the case, but she couldn't push the issue. Her job as his friend was to be there for him, no matter what. They hugged briefly and rejoined the group.

Max and Amy grabbed chairs and began feeding each other cake. Noel and Sandra held hands as she led him to their own chairs. Emily and Sheldon had their arms wrapped around each other as they waited for their cake.

Sally watched the happy couples, feeling sad that she was no longer one of them. She glanced at Ralph, who looked away quickly. "Come on, Ralph," she pleaded, inching towards him. She grabbed his hand and led him away from the cake table. "I'm sorry, okay? Please don't hate me."

Ralph looked at the floor. "I don't hate you. I'm just…I feel betrayed. Just looking at you makes me want to cry."

Sally's eyes filled with tears and she hung her head. "I understand. Again, I'm sorry."

Ralph nodded. "I know. Look, maybe someday I can forgive you. But right now…it hurts too much."

Sally sighed. "I guess I'm just grateful you're even speaking to me."

"Of course I'm speaking to you. I want you to stay at my house for as long as you need to. And if you ever need anything for the baby, I'll be there for you, you know that, right?"

"Thanks, Ralph. I appreciate that. But I think I'm going to let Derek take over from here. He always wanted to, anyway. And besides, I've decided to give the baby up for adoption."

"Really? That's great." Ralph patted her shoulder.

Sally wiped her eyes before she could start crying again. "Could I maybe…have a hug?" she smiled nervously.

Ralph opened his arms, and she stepped into them, but pulled away quickly. She didn't want to push her luck.

He patted her shoulder again and went to grab a piece of cake.

Before Sally could move away, Derek was at her side. "Here you go," he handed her a slice. She took it and thanked him.

"You decided on adoption, huh?" he scratched his neck awkwardly. "Couldn't help but overhear."

Sally nodded. "I did. I hope that's okay with you."

"I would have been a good dad."

"I know you would have."

"But," he looked at Casey fondly. She was talking with Kendra and Sam while they ate. "It would have complicated things..."

"You can say that again." She stepped forward and kissed him on the cheek. "Go for it. She's great."

"Who?" Derek feigned ignorance, but he was smiling.

"Just promise me one thing, okay, and I'll promise the same."

"What's that?"

"Start using condoms."

Derek's nodded solemnly. Sally winked at him and went over to sit with Kendra, Sam, Casey, Paul, and Tinkles.

Derek walked back over to the table, feeling relieved. He cut himself a piece of cake. Sheldon waved him over to his group, and he joined Sheldon, Emily, and Ralph. Ralph gave him a nod as he sat down, and Derek returned it. He was going to have to be thankful for what he could get for the time being. He had screwed up pretty badly, and he was no stranger to ruined friendships. But if Sam could start to like him again, he felt sure that Ralph would come around eventually.

Once everyone was done with their cake, the glee members stood in a group in front of Paul, who looked at them questioningly.

"Time for our last surprise," Max announced. "Paul, since you didn't get to see us perform at sectionals, we put together a special number just for you."

"Take a see-eat!" Casey sing-songed.

The girls assembled on the first riser, the boys below them on the floor. They began dancing and swaying to the music as Tinkles played the opening bars. The boys hopped up onto the riser in unison and began dancing with the girls, as Casey switched to the floor and began, "Guess this means you're sorry, you're standing at my door…"

Paul laughed when he recognized the song. Casey smiled happily at him, and he smiled back. He had the best glee club in the world!

"Guess this means you take back, all you said before," she stepped up to the riser again, and smiled at each of her friends as she walked past them. "Like how much you wanted, anyone but me…"

The club began walking in a circle, each winking, waving, or doing finger-guns at Paul as they came into view. "Said you'd never come back, but here you are again!"

A few members put on cowboy hats, and they did a little western jig.

Everyone joined with Casey for the next line. "'Cause we belong together, now, yeah! Forever united here, somehow, yeah!"

A few rooms away in her office, Kathy was busy packing her belongings. She hadn't seen Paul all day, which she knew was for the best. But she really wished she could at least tell him goodbye.

Back in the choir room, twelve voices cried, "You got a piece of me, and honestly, my life—"

"My life!" Kendra, Amy, and Sally echoed.

"Would suck!"

"Would suck!" Max, Sandra, and Emily repeated.

"Without you!" they all sang, executing more choreography they had learned so far that year.

The six boys harmonized on the next lines, while the girls all danced together. "I know that I've got issues, but you're pretty messed up too. Either way, I found out, I'm nothing without you!"

Paul glanced at the doorway, towards Kathy's office. He had felt sick all day, knowing she was about to leave. School was over now, and she very well may have been gone for good by then.

"'Cause we belong together, now, yeah—"

Paul stood up, and the singers stopped abruptly. "I…I'm sorry, guys, this is fantastic, but Ms. Zeldin is about to leave and I—"

"Go!" Casey cried. "Go to her!"

Everyone else was nodding, and Paul thanked them. Then he sprinted from the choir room and went careening down the hall toward the drama department.

He saw her coming out of her office and skidded to a stop. "Kathy!"

Back in the choir room, Ralph suggested they may as well finish the song. "Forever united here, somehow, yeah!" he continued with the others, stepping towards the doorway.

Paul could vaguely hear the music and singing as he grabbed onto Kathy's shoulders. She looked at him, surprised. Tears welled in her eyes.

"You got a piece of me, and honestly…"

Paul grabbed her box of belongings from her hands and set it on the floor. Then he wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned in towards her.

"My life…would suck…without…you!"

Kathy stared at him, desperately wanting to tell him all of her feelings, everything. But the she realized that all of her own feelings were reflected in his eyes.

"'Cause we belong together, now, yeah!"

With one swift motion, Paul leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. Kathy immediately responded, gripping the back of his neck and pulling him closer.

"Forever united here, somehow, yeah!"

As Paul and Ms. Zeldin kissed in the hallway, Ralph backed away from the door and gave his friends a thumb's up. They all did little jigs of excitement for Paul during the next line.

"You got a piece of me, and honestly…"

Derek grabbed Casey's hand as she danced with Sheldon, and he smiled approvingly as Derek led Casey a few paces from the group.

"My life would suck without you…" he whispered as he dipped her. She gazed up at him, nodding firmly. She wrapped an arm around his neck and stretched out her leg to balance them.

"'Cause we belong together now," she whispered back, and he smiled wider than she'd ever seen him. They were almost stepsiblings, Derek was having a baby with another girl, they were still in different cliques…and yet she was one hundred percent sure that they should be together. Somehow, everything would work out, as long as they had each other.

"Forever united here, somehow! You got a piece of me, and honestly…"

He leaned forward, supporting her weight on his knee, and kissed her soundly.

The entire glee club whooped and cheered for Derek and Casey, and when they broke apart, they rejoined the group as the twelve members huddled together for the final line, everyone smiling around at each other.

"My life…would suck…without…you!"


End file.
